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2016-06-11T05:01:23Z

Saitama:

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I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." --Toady One
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- Toady One
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted with magma.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6724410#msg6724410 martinuzz] (on the election of his sole elven-citizen to the position of mayor): 'I think I just lost the game. EDIT: wow, just wow. Her only social skill is "Master Intimidator" all other social skills are dabbling. "ELECT ME OR I EAT YOU AND EXCRETE YOUR DIGESTED REMAINS ON MY ANCESTRAL TREE AS FERTILIZER"'
Zebna ámbekat Rashedezif Ethba, Werecoyote: *kills a dwarf* "Death... This is truly horrifying..." *kills another dwarf*
Spearman: Greetings. My name is Kakpoth. This servant of TRANS_NAME] greets you.
"ERMAHGAWD IM SO DRUNK" - Some sober human in my tavern
Human Farmer: Is that a weapon? What's going on?! Human Animal Caretaker (to Human Farmer): Just now Dur Leaderevens was slain by Olum Senserampaged the Fords of Passing.
Where did all of these chinchilla corpses come from?
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already. --flabort
The mechanics and logistics of milking a kangaroo sound excruciatingly painful for everyone involved.
The Carpenter 'Jesus Christ' Thikutdesis and The Farmer 'Moses' Ezumethab have married!
In the early summer of 129, Ducim Stafftender married a hen.
OH GOD! THE BABIES ARE DEHYDRATING!
'David' Vabokkubuk felt euphoric due to inebriation.
I visited a town to kill a vampire with 98 kills. Every time I attempted to kill him he would run away and return after about 5 minutes. Every attempt caused locals to attack me and I ended up killing 12 people before getting my head impaled by a sword and died. The vampire was unharmed.
The mayor has made 9 mandates in a row requesting the construction of catapult parts. Now he is prohibiting the export of all catapult parts.
One of the children in my fortress became a legendary wood crafter due to a fey mood. He is also only 2 years old.
"Necromancy is sort of like Jaywalking. It's not illegal, just frowned upon." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.1785 Dwarfy]
Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla.
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic.
I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- Toady One
I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- Toady One
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint]
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip.
Is that npc humping a table?
Spill the intestines of your enemy, cut them off and keep as a stinking trophy. The smell makes you feel nausea? You are not even a half as nauseous as your victim is now.
a migrant with skills in surgery, butchery and bonecarving. i can see how thos skills suppliment each other. synergies --Scruffy, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=116045.msg6027592;topicseen#msg6027592 !!DRUNK FORTRESS!!]
A Goblin Seige? Good, we were starting to run out of clothes.
Prepared food! What do you mean prepared food?! You mean you aren't content with squatting in a dank cavern gnawing on a cold uncooked mushroom?
A book called ''Into the Elf,'' sounds like a rip off of ''Fifty Shades of Gabbro.''
As a necromancer, I realize not many people try cocaine, most of those people reincarnate for that very reason.

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Main Page/Quote/list

2016-06-11T04:58:58Z

Saitama:

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To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line.
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I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." --Toady One
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- Toady One
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted with magma.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6724410#msg6724410 martinuzz] (on the election of his sole elven-citizen to the position of mayor): 'I think I just lost the game. EDIT: wow, just wow. Her only social skill is "Master Intimidator" all other social skills are dabbling. "ELECT ME OR I EAT YOU AND EXCRETE YOUR DIGESTED REMAINS ON MY ANCESTRAL TREE AS FERTILIZER"'
Zebna ámbekat Rashedezif Ethba, Werecoyote: *kills a dwarf* "Death... This is truly horrifying..." *kills another dwarf*
Spearman: Greetings. My name is Kakpoth. This servant of TRANS_NAME] greets you.
"ERMAHGAWD IM SO DRUNK" - Some sober human in my tavern
Human Farmer: Is that a weapon? What's going on?! Human Animal Caretaker (to Human Farmer): Just now Dur Leaderevens was slain by Olum Senserampaged the Fords of Passing.
Where did all of these chinchilla corpses come from?
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already. --flabort
The mechanics and logistics of milking a kangaroo sound excruciatingly painful for everyone involved.
The Carpenter 'Jesus Christ' Thikutdesis and The Farmer 'Moses' Ezumethab have married!
In the early summer of 129, Ducim Stafftender married a hen.
OH GOD! THE BABIES ARE DEHYDRATING!
'David' Vabokkubuk felt euphoric due to inebriation.
I visited a town to kill a vampire with 98 kills. Every time I attempted to kill him he would run away and return after about 5 minutes. Every attempt caused locals to attack me and I ended up killing 12 people before getting my head impaled by a sword and died. The vampire was unharmed.
The mayor has made 9 mandates in a row requesting the construction of catapult parts. Now he is prohibiting the export of all catapult parts.
One of the children in my fortress became a legendary wood crafter due to a fey mood. He is also only 2 years old.
"Necromancy is sort of like Jaywalking. It's not illegal, just frowned upon." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.1785 Dwarfy]
Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla.
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic.
I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- Toady One
I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- Toady One
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint]
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip.
Is that npc humping a table?
Spill the intestines of your enemy, cut them off and keep as a stinking trophy. The smell makes you feel nausea? You are not even a half as nauseous as your victim is now.
a migrant with skills in surgery, butchery and bonecarving. i can see how thos skills suppliment each other. synergies --Scruffy, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=116045.msg6027592;topicseen#msg6027592 !!DRUNK FORTRESS!!]
A Goblin Seige? Good, we were starting to run out of clothes.
Prepared food! What do you mean prepared food?! You mean you aren't content with squatting in a dank cavern gnawing on a cold uncooked mushroom?
A book called ''Into the Elf,'' sounds like a rip off of ''Fifty Shades of Gabbro.''

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Main Page/Quote/list

2016-06-11T04:54:25Z

Saitama:

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To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line.
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I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." --Toady One
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- Toady One
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted with magma.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6724410#msg6724410 martinuzz] (on the election of his sole elven-citizen to the position of mayor): 'I think I just lost the game. EDIT: wow, just wow. Her only social skill is "Master Intimidator" all other social skills are dabbling. "ELECT ME OR I EAT YOU AND EXCRETE YOUR DIGESTED REMAINS ON MY ANCESTRAL TREE AS FERTILIZER"'
Zebna ámbekat Rashedezif Ethba, Werecoyote: *kills a dwarf* "Death... This is truly horrifying..." *kills another dwarf*
Spearman: Greetings. My name is Kakpoth. This servant of TRANS_NAME] greets you.
"ERMAHGAWD IM SO DRUNK" - Some sober human in my tavern
Human Farmer: Is that a weapon? What's going on?! Human Animal Caretaker (to Human Farmer): Just now Dur Leaderevens was slain by Olum Senserampaged the Fords of Passing.
Where did all of these chinchilla corpses come from?
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already. --flabort
The mechanics and logistics of milking a kangaroo sound excruciatingly painful for everyone involved.
The Carpenter 'Jesus Christ' Thikutdesis and The Farmer 'Moses' Ezumethab have married!
In the early summer of 129, Ducim Stafftender married a hen.
OH GOD! THE BABIES ARE DEHYDRATING!
'David' Vabokkubuk felt euphoric due to inebriation.
I visited a town to kill a vampire with 98 kills. Every time I attempted to kill him he would run away and return after about 5 minutes. Every attempt caused locals to attack me and I ended up killing 12 people before getting my head impaled by a sword and died. The vampire was unharmed.
The mayor has made 9 mandates in a row requesting the construction of catapult parts. Now he is prohibiting the export of all catapult parts.
One of the children in my fortress became a legendary wood crafter due to a fey mood. He is also only 2 years old.
"Necromancy is sort of like Jaywalking. It's not illegal, just frowned upon." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.1785 Dwarfy]
Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla.
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic.
I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- Toady One
I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- Toady One
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint]
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip.
Is that npc humping a table?
Spill the intestines of your enemy, cut them off and keep as a stinking trophy. The smell makes you feel nausea? You are not even a half as nauseous as your victim is now.
a migrant with skills in surgery, butchery and bonecarving. i can see how thos skills suppliment each other. synergies --Scruffy, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=116045.msg6027592;topicseen#msg6027592 !!DRUNK FORTRESS!!]
A Goblin Seige? Good, we were starting to run out of clothes.
Prepared food! What do you mean prepared food?! You mean you aren't content with squatting in a dank cavern gnawing on a cold uncooked mushroom?
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Main Page/Quote/list

2016-06-11T04:48:02Z

Saitama:

<noinclude>
To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line.
#{{#rreplace:</noinclude>
I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." --Toady One
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- Toady One
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted with magma.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6724410#msg6724410 martinuzz] (on the election of his sole elven-citizen to the position of mayor): 'I think I just lost the game. EDIT: wow, just wow. Her only social skill is "Master Intimidator" all other social skills are dabbling. "ELECT ME OR I EAT YOU AND EXCRETE YOUR DIGESTED REMAINS ON MY ANCESTRAL TREE AS FERTILIZER"'
Zebna ámbekat Rashedezif Ethba, Werecoyote: *kills a dwarf* "Death... This is truly horrifying..." *kills another dwarf*
Spearman: Greetings. My name is Kakpoth. This servant of TRANS_NAME] greets you.
"ERMAHGAWD IM SO DRUNK" - Some sober human in my tavern
Human Farmer: Is that a weapon? What's going on?! Human Animal Caretaker (to Human Farmer): Just now Dur Leaderevens was slain by Olum Senserampaged the Fords of Passing.
Where did all of these chinchilla corpses come from?
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already. --flabort
The mechanics and logistics of milking a kangaroo sound excruciatingly painful for everyone involved.
The Carpenter 'Jesus Christ' Thikutdesis and The Farmer 'Moses' Ezumethab have married!
In the early summer of 129, Ducim Stafftender married a hen.
OH GOD! THE BABIES ARE DEHYDRATING!
'David' Vabokkubuk felt euphoric due to inebriation.
I visited a town to kill a vampire with 98 kills. Every time I attempted to kill him he would run away and return after about 5 minutes. Every attempt caused locals to attack me and I ended up killing 12 people before getting my head impaled by a sword and died. The vampire was unharmed.
The mayor has made 9 mandates in a row requesting the construction of catapult parts. Now he is prohibiting the export of all catapult parts.
One of the children in my fortress became a legendary wood crafter due to a fey mood. He is also only 2 years old.
"Necromancy is sort of like Jaywalking. It's not illegal, just frowned upon." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.1785 Dwarfy]
Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla.
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic.
I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- Toady One
I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- Toady One
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint]
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip.
Is that npc humping a table?
Spill the intestines of your enemy, cut them off and keep as a stinking trophy. The smell makes you feel nausea? You are not even a half as nauseous as your victim is now.
a migrant with skills in surgery, butchery and bonecarving. i can see how thos skills suppliment each other. synergies --Scruffy, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=116045.msg6027592;topicseen#msg6027592 !!DRUNK FORTRESS!!]
A Goblin Seige? Good, we were starting to run out of clothes.

<noinclude>|(\n)|$1#}}</noinclude>

v0.34:Losing

2016-01-09T04:18:53Z

Saitama: /* Too Much Water (aka "Flooding accidents") */

{{Quality|Exceptional}}
{{D for Dwarf}}
{{av}}

Losing is fun!

Either way, it keeps you busy.

There is no internal end point, single goal, final Easter egg or "You Win!" announcement in Dwarf Fortress. Therefore, eventually, almost every fortress will fall. The only ones that don't tend to be very conservative and very boring—and what fun is that? Therefore, DF = losing ∧ DF = fun ⇒ losing = fun, and that's okay! It's a game philosophy, so embrace it, own it, and have ''fun'' with it!

Most new players will lose their first few forts sooner rather than later; when you lose a [[fortress]], don't feel like you don't understand the game. Dwarf Fortress has a steep learning curve (often referred to as a "cliff"), and part of the process (and fun!) is discovering things for yourself. However, this Wiki serves as an excellent place to speed up the learning process.

If you lose, you can always [[reclaim fortress mode|reclaim fortress]] or go visit it in [[adventurer mode]].

If you're looking for more ways to <s>lose horribly</s> test yourself, try either the [[mega construction]] or the [[Challenges]] articles.

[[File:FunComic.png|thumb|right|Fun in Dwarf Fortress]]

== Autopsy, or why your fortress died ==

Various common things can cause the death of a fortress. Let's examine some together...

===Dwarf vs. Wild===
Sometimes the wilds take you out.

====Local Wildlife====
Goblins aren't the only creatures that want you dead. [[grizzly bear|The]] [[elephant|obvious]] [[cougar|threats]] aside, some [[creature]]s with benign [[unicorn|natures]], [[carp|names]], or [[giant sponge|descriptions]] can be surprisingly deadly. A sudden wildlife attack can quickly cripple or destroy an unprepared fortress. Before you unpause a new game for the first time, hit {{k|u}}nits, and switch to the "Others" tab to see what's sharing your map. Learn to do this regularly—new creatures will frequently migrate onto your map and then off again to be replaced by others.

Consider arming up and thinning out any predictable threats.

Outdoor [[titan]]s and other [[megabeast]]s are a later stage hazard.

====Underground Life====
Underground life can be even more dangerous than surface life. Dig down to a cavern, and expect to be fending off hordes of smaller, weaker creatures as well as larger, more solitary creatures like [[giant cave spider]]s and [[blind cave ogre]]s. Arming up helps a lot, as there is usually only a small entrance they can get in by. A row of cage traps is exceptionally powerful there.
Underground Forgotten Beasts are a later stage hazard—and one that cage traps will offer very little protection against. Even if all the other creatures in the cavern are stopped by your cage traps, don't allow yourself to become complacent. That is not to mention that what lies [[HFS|even deeper]]...

====Magma and its denizens====
[[Magma]] by itself is dangerous enough to destroy a fortress that fails to contain it properly, but magma sources are also home to [[fire imp|many]] [[fire man|dangerous]] [[magma crab|creatures]] that can destroy buildings, kill even the most skilled soldiers, and spread destruction throughout your fortress. While careful designs using [[fortification]]s, [[magma-safe]] [[floor grate]]s, and [[magma-safe]] [[bridge]]s can mitigate much of the danger, magma remains a prime source of [[fun]] even in experienced fortresses.

====Evil Biomes====
Evil [[surroundings]] are more inhospitable than ever. If it's not the [[Undead|zombies]] that kill all your dwarves, then it's their freshly animated body parts hungry for revenge. Or vile weather that makes dwarves caught in it vomit to death. Or, worst of all, an evil cloud that drifts by your settlement and starts a zombie plague in your population.

When embarking on an evil biome, it's a fairly good idea to skip a [[meat industry]] of any kind. Though meat obtained from [[butcher|butchering]] doesn't rise up, hair, skin and bones are fully capable of turning to kill you - and bringing [[hunter]]s in your party is near-suicidal. Embarking with a [[military]] is a must, if you want to stand any chance against the zombies. Of course, if things are ''really'' bad outside (for example, the aforementioned thralling clouds), you're best off just sealing yourself inside forever and never turning back. As with cavern wildlife, a row of [[cage trap]]s is a great boon to the safety of your fortress.

===Dwarf vs. You===
Sometimes you bring it on yourself.

====No Food====
A serious danger, generally in the more inhospitable [[climate]]s, is the loss of your [[dwarf|dwarves]] due to starvation. As dwarves begin to starve, they will become [[hungry]], then [[starving]]. This will cause them first to slow down all work, and then to become very [[unhappy]]. When they die, their friends will become upset and will become even more unhappy, potentially causing the remainder of your fortress to break out in a [[tantrum spiral|terminal hissy fit]].

Don't forget your alternative sources of [[food]]. If your [[farm]]s aren't doing the job and a [[caravan|trade caravan]] is months away, try [[butcher]]ing your [[domestic animal]]s, [[plant gathering|gathering plants]], [[hunting]] local wildlife, and [[cook]]ing any excess [[alcohol]].

====No Booze====
Equally as bad is no [[alcohol]], which dwarves ''require'' to be happy and productive. Some alcohol can be acquired from [[caravan]]s, but not enough for an entire fort until the next caravan arrives. You must gather or [[farm]] certain plants to then [[brew]] those in a [[still]] with an empty [[barrel]]—it's just part of being a dwarf. Be sure to make lots of barrels. Often a shortage of barrels is just as bad as a shortage of beer. A dwarf would rather die than lower themselves to drinking from a [[mug]] (though it doesn't stop them being produced by the tonne in your [[workshop]]s).

====Water====
Sometimes you just can't help but take a drink, and when you think it's safe, WHAM. Watch out for [[giant sponge]]s...

=====No water=====
Healthy dwarves will not die of thirst as long as they have alcohol, which in the current version can be [[Brewing|brewed]] without the use of water. However, injured dwarves must be given water, not alcohol, or they will die of dehydration.

[[Rain]] will refill stagnant [[pool]]s of water slowly. In a hot [[climate]], this may evaporate almost immediately. What's more, if the map is in a dry [[climate]], such as a desert (hot or cold), then there can be long periods of time with no water anywhere - in extreme cases, none ever. Snow will not refill pools, so you can also have a lack of water in very cold [[climate]]s. Also, if weather has been turned off in the [[init.txt]] file then there will be no rain and no water will accumulate, though it may be there at the beginning of the game.

If all else fails, the [[caverns]] may contain water somewhere, so you can put down a [[well]]. Watch out for [[Giant toad|other]] {{catlink|Humanoids|sources}} [[Cave crocodile|of fun.]]

=====Too Much Water (aka "Flooding accidents"or"Dwarven Pluming")=====
The opposite side of the dehydration spectrum is having too ''much'' water. Remember that water can [[flow]] in 10 directions (the 8 horizontal ones as well as down, and up to the level of its source.)

If your fortress is beginning to flood from [[Water#Sourced Water|sourced water]], abandon all of the levels the water can reach immediately—create a [[civilian alert]] and order your dwarves to a burrow upstairs. You will never be able to recover those areas unless you can manage to [[pump]] out the water faster than it floods in, which can take over a year or two of game time to establish a functioning automated pump system. Generally, a flooding accident spells doom for your fortress. Before you activate your neat little underground water hole you designed yourself and that your so proud of, always make sure your irrigation system is fool-proof before you pull the lever.

If the accident is causing your mine shafts to flood (those fishy diagonal flows into downstairs on the level below), you can sometimes save the dwarves that are working inside it: designate the highest level they can reach before the water reaches it with your civilian burrow. Try to dig your way up from there, since the water will take some time to fill the lower floors, and keep updating your burrow definition to the higher floors. Saving your valuable Legendary +5 Miners (and their picks) could be vital to your fortress.

Sometimes, a fortress is flooded with [[magma]]. This is even more [[fun]], and even harder to recover from. Magma doesn't rise as aggressively (via [[pressure]]) as water, and can be [[pump]]ed out with [[magma-safe]] equipment. Read up on it. Good luck.

==== Inability to mine ("Diggor Mortis") ====
i.e., no [[pick]]s.

Diggor Mortis: ''when a Dwarf with a pickaxe decides that digging where they shouldn't is a bloody good idea.''

Simply put, you need [[pick]]s to mine [[ore]], which is then [[smelting|smelted]] to make [[metal]] for items like more picks. If you are careless (or ignorant) of how to dig safely, and your [[miner]]s create a [[cave-in|collapse]] or flood and their equipment gets lost/destroyed/unrecoverable, ''and'' you have no materials to make more picks, you will be at a severe handicap until the problem is solved. Any dwarf can be given the [[mining]] [[labor]], but without a pick they can do nothing. There is no way to get new metals or stone (clay excluded) for any purpose (except from foreign traders and smelting other items) nor any way to dig new rooms/tunnels unless you have picks.

If you have [[ore]] or [[bar]]s to create a [[Arms industry|weapons-grade metal]] (other than silver), and a [[forge]] (and [[smelter]] if you need one), you can create new picks and continue. In a pinch, you can even [[melt]] other metal objects for metal. You might get lucky with a [[caravan]] - elves never carry picks, but humans sometimes have bronze ones, and dwarves generally bring some along. If the first dwarven caravan doesn't bring any, you can try to keep your fortress running long enough to request additional [[pick]]s from your [[outpost liaison]], who will arrive with the next dwarven trade [[caravan]] in a year. Or you can [[abandon]] and try again.

If you have [[axe]]s and [[tree]]s available, then you can build [[construction|structure]]s, [[building]]s and [[furniture]] of [[wood]], which is something.

Averting this fate is simple: stockpile at least one additional pick at the first possible opportunity, or some of the [[Metal#Weapon_and_armor_quality|raw material]] to make more, and away from current digging operations.

See also: [[Arms industry]]

===Dwarf vs Society===
Sometimes your traditions and morals conspire. Hell Is Other Dwarves?

====General Unhappiness====
Think it's no big deal to leave your dwarves with a mediocre [[dining room]], no-[[quality]] bed and a generally inadequate fortress?

If there is little in a fortress to give your dwarves happy [[thoughts]] and enough to give them unhappy [[thoughts]], then your dwarves will start to throw [[tantrum]]s, grow melancholy, and/or cause general chaos. In extreme (but sadly not ''rare'') examples, this can lead to a [[tantrum spiral]] and the loss of the entire fortress. Immigrants are typically [[marriage|married]], often with [[children]] in tow, and are primed and ready to start pumping out even more babies. This means that the loss of one dwarf is likely to lead to a whole family of very unhappy dwarves, and potentially a tantrum spiral. Unhappiness is more likely to occur if your fortress is suffering other kinds of downfall as well, so try to keep all the bases covered.

Another problem is if you don't have a [[justice]] system in place at the time of a spiral and manage to recover. If you later implement the justice system, the hammerer may kill the former tantrum throwers, starting another tantrum because of their deaths.

====Mandates====
While it doesn't happen often, those [[Noble]]s' mandates can occasionally cause your fortress to come to a halt, especially if they decide to imprison a dwarf that's fairly essential to your fortress, or if they for some reason decide that a dwarf deserves a hammering. This can lead to your dwarf's death, which, as noted above, can cause a tantrum spiral.

Then, there's also points at which, when trying to fulfill a mandate, you run into some rather nasty problems. This could lead to any of the other problems, such as a cave in killing your miner (If you're not paying attention!) running into HFS, or accidentally mining out a new tunnel to the surface that you don't close, and lets in a horde of goblins.

====Supernatural Rogues====
With v0.34 have come the additions of several [[night creature]]s that can potentially undo a fortress from within. A werebeast raid can not only bring trouble if you're lacking of a military, but its cursed bite can make more of its kind from your population. If you see a civilian survive a werebeast attack, you might be in for a surprise when he suddenly turns into a ravenous monster at the full moon and starts killing everything around him.

Vampires are a much more insidiously dangerous threat, as they hide themselves among the peasantry and may kill dozens of dwarves without being caught—and if they do, they might succeed at framing an essential member of your fortress into getting the hammer. As can be seen, this can easily lead into a tantrum spiral.

===Dwarf vs Goblins, Humans, Elves...===
Seizing goods from a friendly caravan will often lead to large shipment of fun next time the traders visit. Remember, it's not paranoia if they ''are'' out to get you.

====Ambush====
Goblin and elven [[ambush]]ers alike will infiltrate your map and charge into your fortress after they are discovered. They will retreat after suffering enough casualties or waiting around several seasons. Elves still arrive with caravans, and goblins can attack at any time. Even if your dwarves do not venture onto the surface, caravans will eventually trigger the ambushes. At least, caravans and sieges/ambushes have the amazing tendency to occur at the end of each season.

See Also:
:* [[Defense guide]]
:* [[Defense design]]
:* [[Trap design]]
:* [[Military design]]

====Siege====
[[Siege]]s can be quite devastating to a fortress, but unlike most of the other ways of losing, they are unlikely to occur early on, even if you do something stupid to piss off another civilization.

Should hosts of goblins besiege your gates and drive your peasantry inside, trolls beat down your doors and force you to seal off from the outside world, you may have already lost the game. Even if you have built an utterly impenetrable fortress with drawbridges and moats, a sieging army may stick around for a long time. Although a dwarven fortress can be made self-contained, with [[list of crops|crops]], [[metal]] and [[fuel]] readily available, underground [[tree farm|wood source]] and your own [[livestock]], a fortress may not be able to sustain such a state indefinitely.

For example, [[trade]] with the outside world has now been shut off, leaving you only what [[ore]]s are on your map for the production of mandated goods. In the (very) long run even those will run out. This can result in a breakdown of social order if you do not prevent your [[Hammerer]] from killing or maiming your dwarves. [[Shell]], [[bone]] and [[leather]] commonly acquired by [[hunting]] and [[fishing]] need to be supplied by previously established livestock and access to suitable water. If these resources are no longer available to your workers, moody [[craftsdwarf|craftsdwarves]] will be driven into suicide or worse. Rotten [[vermin]] [[corpse]]s begin to heap in your food supply, forcing you to dump these into inside [[refuse|refuse pile]]s, generating [[miasma]]. Better build indoor refuse piles away from trafficked areas. Unless an [[well|interior water supply]] was established (or you find water in caverns) your wounded will die of dehydration.

With all these critical industries unproductive, dwarves dying, and friends mourning over the rotting heaps of slain loved ones, it's important to remember your dwarves have nothing to do but throw funeral receptions, hold grief counseling sessions and host the occasional keg stand. This means they've all become one big happy family of friends, manically depressed from the loss of any dwarf.

In short, the attacking army can simply wait until your dwarves emo themselves to death.

====Hidden Fun Stuff====

Hidden fun stuff awaits those who delve too deeply and too greedily. Due to the concentrated amounts of [[fun]], HFS has been the downfall of many a fortress.

===Dwarf vs. Player ===
Mod too much and the human caravan that comes in could spontaneously combust. Or just crash your game.

===Dwarf vs. Computer===
Fall victim to the [[Catsplosion]] and even the mightiest computer may lose FPS to the point where the game becomes virtually un-playable. Or get too many Dwarves and pets in your fortress and the computer may crash. Problem can be solved, at least for the short term, by changing the priority of Dwarf Fortress in init.txt.

===Dwarf vs. Boredom===
Sometimes a fort's downfall comes not from fire and [[Fun]], but by the player deciding that enough's enough, and it's time to give in.

====Have I Won Yet?====
Even the most well-managed of forts will eventually fall. And if they don't, then what? Once you've fended off [[goblin]]s, [[bronze colossus]]es, and [[HFS|other]] [[Giant cave spider|fun]] [[Forgotten beast|things]], what's left to challenge your might defenses and legendary champions?

Eventually boredom takes its toll and you either hit abandon, or ease up on the impregnable defenses and effectively engineer your own doom.

====The Tantrum Fizzle====
So your dwarves are too busy punching each other to do any work, and the casualties are mounting while the goblins just point and laugh. Think the final chapter of your fort's saga will be a short one? Don't be so sure. Sometimes a little old-fashioned anarchy is enough to cripple a fortress, but not destroy it.

With good defenses and enough supplies, a well-managed fortress can run quite a while without any player input. And when you find this out the hard way, a few in-game months of fistfights might not be entertaining enough to offset the fact that you're not able to actually DO anything. If things don't calm down (or explode hilariously) soon enough, that "abandon fort" option will look awfully tempting...

{{Category|Guides}}

Main Page/Quote/list

2016-01-09T04:06:49Z

Saitama:

<noinclude>
To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line.
#{{#rreplace:</noinclude>
I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." --Toady One
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- Toady One
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Greetings. My name is TRANS_NAME].
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
<noinclude>|(\n)|$1#}}</noinclude>

Main Page/Quote/list

2016-01-09T04:01:59Z

Saitama:

<noinclude>
To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line.
#{{#rreplace:</noinclude>
I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." --Toady One
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- Toady One
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Greetings. My name is TRANS_NAME].
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argumnent with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
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