v50 Steam/Premium information for editors
  • v50 information can now be added to pages in the main namespace. v0.47 information can still be found in the DF2014 namespace. See here for more details on the new versioning policy.
  • Use this page to report any issues related to the migration.
This notice may be cached—the current version can be found here.

Difference between revisions of "Main Page/Quote"

From Dwarf Fortress Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
m (this number has to be the SAME as the highest quote)
(remove a few quotes that are somewhat out of place (including one of me, which was actually a serious response to a question about offering service to a Priest))
Line 8: Line 8:
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
----
 
----
</noinclude>{{#switch:{{rand|132}}|
+
</noinclude>{{#switch:{{rand|129}}|
 
|1=I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
 
|1=I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
|2=Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange_mood|mysterious]] construction!
+
|2=Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] construction!
 
|3=Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
 
|3=Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
 
|4=[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
 
|4=[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
 
|5=[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
 
|5=[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
 
|6=[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
 
|6=[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
|7=The critical question is this''':''' do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
+
|7=The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
 
|8="Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
 
|8="Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
 
|9=Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
 
|9=Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
Line 35: Line 35:
 
|25=The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
 
|25=The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
 
|26=[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
 
|26=[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
|27=Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!
+
|27=Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!<br>Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
 
 
|28="Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
 
|28="Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
 
|29="Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
 
|29="Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
Line 57: Line 56:
 
|46=Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers.  Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
 
|46=Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers.  Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
 
|47=Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
 
|47=Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
|48=Most vermin teleport, so nothing actually contains them. -[[User:Fuzzy|Fuzzy]]
+
|48=There are 5 articles in category Lore:  Armok, Cave Adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher, and Vomit.
|49=There are 5 articles in category Lore:  Armok, Cave Adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher, and Vomit.
+
|59=There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
|50=There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
+
|50=Bug #563: mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
|51=Bug #563: mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
+
|51=If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
|52=If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
+
|52=Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
|53=Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
+
|53="You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
|54="You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
+
|54='''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?"<br>'''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
|55='''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?"<br>'''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
+
|55=An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
|56=An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
+
|56=Bug #597: Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
|57=Bug #597: Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
+
|57='''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' <br> Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
|58='''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' <br> Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
+
|58=<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
|59=<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
+
|59="If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
|60="If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
+
|60="Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
|61="Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
+
|61=Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!  
|62=Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!  
+
|62=Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
|63=Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
+
|63=The carp has drowned.
|64=The carp has drowned.
+
|64=There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones.  And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
|65=There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones.  And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
+
|65="I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
|66="I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
+
|66=Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
|67=Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
+
|67="Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave."<br> --Toady One
|68="Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave."<br> --Toady One
+
|68=Bug #871: babies fall to death when born on stairs
|69=Bug #871: babies fall to death when born on stairs
+
|69=Bug #1031: a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
|70=Bug #1031: a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
+
|70="[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
|71="[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
+
|71=You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
|72=You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
+
|72=Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
|73=Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
+
|73=...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
|74=...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
+
|74=Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup.  He absolutely detests purring maggots."
|75=Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup.  He absolutely detests purring maggots."
+
|75="I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
|76="I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
+
|76=Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
|77=Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
+
|77=I added two levers.  One opens the magma.  The other sets free all the cats.  --Someone in Headshoots
|78=I added two levers.  One opens the magma.  The other sets free all the cats.  --Someone in Headshoots
+
|78="As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
|79="As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
+
|79="Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
|80="Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
+
|80=It has stats. It can be killed.
|81=It has stats. It can be killed.
+
|81=Bug #432: Bones pop out of coffins.
|82=Bug #432: Bones pop out of coffins.
+
|82=Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
|83=Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
+
|83=If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
|84=If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
+
|84=Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.  
|85=Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.  
+
|85="So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
|86="So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
+
|86=Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.  
|87=Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.  
+
|87=Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes.  I still wonder how you would drink from that.  
|88=Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes.  I still wonder how you would drink from that.  
+
|88=Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
|89=Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
+
|89=Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately.  He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently.  He took joy in slaughter lately.  He has lost a lover to tragedy lately.  He has witnessed death.  He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
|90=Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately.  He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently.  He took joy in slaughter lately.  He has lost a lover to tragedy lately.  He has witnessed death.  He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
+
|90=There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay.  --[[Toady One]]
|91=You haven't embarked on a quest - you've joined a religion. --Quietust
+
|91=Mew? <br />Chop!
|92=The alert statuses (i.e., "Stay Indoors") have been entirely redone. You may set several custom alerts with user defined [[scheduling]].
+
|92="If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microline and demons."
|93=There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay.  --[[Toady One]]
+
|93='They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
|94=Mew? <br />Chop!
+
|94=It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
|95="If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microline and demons."
+
|95=It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
|96='They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
+
|96=Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
|97=It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
+
|97=You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
|98=It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
+
|98=Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
|99=Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
+
|99=Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
|100=You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
+
|100=Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br>--The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
|101=Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
+
|101=I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
|102=Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
+
|102="Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br />-- Dwarven Philosopher
|103=Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br>--The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
+
|103=This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
|104=I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
+
|104=Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
|105="Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br />-- Dwarven Philosopher
+
|105=The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
|106=This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
+
|106=Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
|107=Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
+
|107=Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
|108=The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
+
|108=The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.  
|109=Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
+
|109=Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung!<br>''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
|110=Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
+
|110="You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
|111=The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.  
+
|111=All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
|112=Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung!<br>''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
+
|112=Do not taunt magma.
|113="You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
+
|113=I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
|114=All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
+
|114=[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
|115=Do not taunt magma.
+
|115=The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".  
|116=I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
+
|116="You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
|117=[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
+
|117="The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
|118=The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".  
+
|118="Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
|119="You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
+
|119=Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
|120="The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
+
|120=Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
|121="Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
+
|121=A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
|122=Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
+
|122=A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
|123=Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
+
|123=There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
|124=A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
+
|124=Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
|125=A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
+
|125=The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
|126=There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
+
|126=The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
|127=Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
+
|127=(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
|128=The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
+
|128=So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
|129=The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
+
|129=The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
|130=(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
 
|131=So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
 
|132=The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
 
 
}}
 
}}

Revision as of 04:01, 9 June 2011

Please limit quotes to ~135 characters or less (longest below are longer than that, but remain as "legacy" from Toady etc.). Longer quotes may be deleted.

Do not use equals signs or vertical bars in your quotes or they will break.

When adding a quote, be sure to update the {{rand|###}} number.


"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero