Dwarf Fortress Wiki - User contributions [en]

v0.31:Giant cave spider

2011-04-10T00:03:03Z

Drone:

{{Quality|Exceptional|20:09, 5 July 2010 (UTC)}}
{{Creaturelookup/0
|wiki=no
|contrib=no
|meat=19
|fat=18
|heart=1
|intestine=1
|brain=1
|skin=chitin
}}
{{av}}
{{creaturedesc}}

'''Giant cave spiders''' are far different from your regular {{L|cave spider}}s; those are just treats for your {{L|cat}}. Giant cave spiders are as big as {{L|grizzly bear}}s and will make treats ''of'' cats, dwarves and the occasional careless adventurer. You can find giant cave spiders in, obviously, caves, caverns and most underground areas. They are extremely dangerous as they feel no pain and thus cannot be stunned, can {{L|syndrome|poison}} creatures and have the ability to shoot {{L|web}}bing to ensnare their prey.

Giant cave spiders are fortunately (depending on your point of view) not a rarity anymore and there are dozens present in the underground caverns, deep below the surface. They can be extremely hard to kill. Due to the material changes, however, chitin is not as great as armour as it used to be, resulting in a few dwarves, on occasion, punching one to death within a few attacks by punching it's skull into it's brain, which can be a godsend on an unlucky cavern breaching excercise.

They are both a boon and a bane, the boon being their webs (whenever they aren't a part of the bane.) Giant cave spider {{L|silk}} is worth much more than ordinary {{L|cloth}} and given the proper setup and victims, they can produce endless amounts of it. Be aware that if they are tamed, Giant Cave Spiders will not spit webbing at enemies (or fight back at all) unless they are being attacked themselves.{{verify}}

If you see one in adventure mode, an announcement, "You've spotted a Giant Cave Spider!" will appear.

Giant cave spider venom appears to be a neurotoxin which causes progressive {{L|syndrome|paralysis}} and is ultimately fatal due to suffocation as the victim's diaphragm succumbs and ceases to function. The poison's effects set in relatively quickly with complete paralysis at phase 5 (360 seconds) and death usually occurs at around 1300 seconds.

==Capturing==
Due to the considerable value of giant cave spider silk, many players attempt to capture a live spider and set up a silk farm to boost their fortress's economy. While simply opening a path to the {{L|cavern}}s and lining it with cage traps may eventually work, a much more effective method is to take advantage of one peculiar behavior of {{L|building destroyer}}s - simply build a '''{{L|wood}}en''' {{L|door}} within the caverns and surround it with cage traps (to a distance of at least 2 tiles), and any giant cave spider (or {{L|giant toad}}, {{L|giant olm}}, {{L|cave crocodile}}, etc.) that enters the caverns will immediately charge toward it and be captured.

==Farming Silk==
Several setups have been devised to harvest giant cave spider silk in large quantities. One such design is as follows:
{{diagram|spaces=yes|color=#888|\
╔═══════════╗
║+++++++++++║
║+++++++++++║
║++++++[#080]╥[#CCC]╔[#CCC]═[#CCC]═[#00F]═╣
[#0F0][#080]≡++++++[#080]║[#F00]╬[#080]╞[#080]╡+║
║++++++[#080]║[#F00]╬+[#F00]╬[#CCC][#888]┼╣
║++++++[#080]║[#F00]╬[#CCC]g[#F00]╬[#CCC]S║
║++++++[#080]║[#F00]╬+[#F00]╬[#CCC][#888]┼╣
[#0F0][#080]≡++++++[#080]║[#F00]╬[#080]╞[#080]╡+║
║++++++[#080]╨[#CCC]╚[#CCC]═[#CCC]═[#CCC]═╣
║+++++++++++║
║+++++++++++║
╚═══════════╝
}}
# Dig out (and optionally smooth) a sufficiently large room (example shown is 11x11).
# {{L|Construction|Construct}} all of the light gray {{L|wall}}s and red {{L|fortification}}s.
# Build the 3 green {{L|bridge}}s, all raising lengthwise to form long walls.
# Construct a {{L|lever}} somewhere convenient in your fortress and link it to the 3 bridges.
# Build 2 '''non-wooden''' {{L|door}}s above and below the gray "S". Mark both doors as pet-inaccessible but leave them unlocked.
# Build a restraint underneath the gray "g". Assign a disarmed captured {{L|goblin}} soldier ('''not''' a thief or a wild animal) to the restraint.
# Pull the lever to raise the bridges (and hide the goblin from your mason), then construct the blue wall to seal the chamber.
# Build the 2 {{L|floodgate}}s and link them to the lever, then pull the lever again.
# Using a pit/pond {{L|activity zone}} on the Z-level above, drop a '''tamed''' giant cave spider into the gray "S" square. Place a 1-tile meeting zone on this tile to reduce lag when collecting webs.

At this point, the spider will begin blasting the goblin with webs, and most of the webs will fly through the fortifications and land on the floor to the left. Once enough webs have accumulated, pull the lever to open the chamber for collection and raise the 3 bridges - the bridge on the left will prevent the goblin from scaring your weavers away, and the 2 bridges on the right will block the path between the goblin and the spider, causing it to calm down and stop trying to shoot webs (in order to reduce lag). Once all of the webs have been collected, simply pull the lever again to reseal the chamber and start the spider webbing again.

{{gamedata}}
{{Creatures}}
{{Category|Animals}}

Main Page/Quote

2008-11-18T17:39:01Z

Drone: Some muppet didn't read the "how to edit this" properly.

{{Choose|c={{#if: {{{1|}}}|{{rand|71}}|{{#expr: ({{rand2|10}}+61)}} }}
|I think I'll stick to drowning dwarves and cooking puppies.
|Toady has created a masterpiece!
|I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
|Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange_mood|mysterious]] construction!
|Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
|[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
|[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
|[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
|[[Elephant]]s are like huge, wrinkly [[ambusher|ninjas]].
|The critical question is this''':''' do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
|“Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess.”
|Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
|Booze does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
|My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
|I can just imagine a wagon throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
|Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
|Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
|Only you can prevent fortress fires.
|The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
|Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
|"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
|(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
|[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
|"<nowiki>[B]</nowiki>oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
|"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
|"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
|"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
|Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
|So this pit has had 5/7 water in it for over a month now. How freaking deep do I need to make it to drown that damn kitten?
|Maybe Babies are like Pokemon for [[goblin|Goblins]]... You gotta snatch em all --Neonivek
|The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
|[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
|Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!
Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
|"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
|"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
|"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
|"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://tinyurl.com/6yruly Soup_alex]
|"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
|"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
|"DF taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
|"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
|"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
|"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
|''Belbezevost Närangagak Äkig:'' 
|"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
|It would be incredibly difficult and probably wouldn't work... In other words, it's absolutely Dwarven!
|Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
|Mill their bones to make some bread.
|I can't say what happened at Site 76. Ask the government. --[[Toady One]]
|"After I finished the last quest he had for me, he told me 'When you wake up in the morning, go with Bengel Trustbite the Feral Armors.' So now I'm carrying around the body as a backup throwing weapon." - [[Demonic Gophers]]
|"The wolf's nose has been pierced!"
|"Domesticating Giant Cave Spiders? Ha ha. Aha haha ha ha. No." --[[User:Idiom|Idiom]]
|I mean, how dangerous can an elephant be, anyway?
|Beware of the Elephant's greatest evolutionary trait: [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Talk:Elephant#Stealth_Elephants Stealth].
|Wolf cancels Breathe: Interrupted by ≡Ash Bolt≡.
|There's no wrong way to eat a [[Rhesus macaque|Rhesus]].
|"I started my fortress in preparation for the goblin invasion. To my dismay, they arrived instead with a trade caravan and a friendly wave. I'm thoroughly disappointed in their lack of genocide." --[[User:Idiom|Idiom]]
|Tobul Dumatfath, Fisherdwarf cancels Fish: Interrupted by [[carp]].
|Known bug #1000: Liaison with missing foot brings a new sock and shoe every time, dropping them at the map edge.
|Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
|"Oh, you worship Id Taughtletter The Age of Forever? Ha! I killed her last year! Small world!" --Dadamh
|Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
|"So they'd be shooting things, and suddenly they'd go STOP! HAMMERTIME!"
|There are 5 articles in category "Lore" :Armok, Cave adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher and Vomit.
| "Hey, you know all those trap components in Fortress mode? You can wield them in Adventurer Mode. I'm DRILLING THE SHIT out of SKELETONS AND ZOMBIES."
"You can wield anything in adventurer mode."
"I CANNOT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME DRILLING HOLES IN ELVES!"
|"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
|"Known bug #780: Town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body."
|"I have a dwarf who likes wizards for their wonderful beards. Personally I like them for their pointy hats." --[[User:Diabl0658]]
|"Because you can't make beer out of cats. Yet. " --[[User:RomeoFalling]]"
|"The numourous steel bars and fortifications I had installed to prevent river denizens entering my water supply turned out to be completely unnessary as the snakemen found the entrance to be rather... deeper... than they had expected. Dwarves began complaining about bits of snake in the well soon after."
|"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
}}<noinclude>[[Category:Humor and stories]]</noinclude>

40d:Children

2008-11-16T00:38:50Z

Drone: /* Military Children */

__NOTOC__
[[Dwarves]] are considered '''children''' for their first twelve years. They learn how to become a [[dwarf]] through living in and participating in dwarven society with no formal schools, apprenticeships or other formal learning; even parenting seems quite minimal.

In fortress mode, some migrant dwarves are married and may bring children. Children who immigrate to your fortress might be any age from 2 to 12, and there is no way to determine the age of a child.

"Resident" dwarves may also give birth to children. This can be stopped or reduced by editing the init file. Dwarves even can have miscarriages, which causes an unhappy thought for the mother but not for the father.

Some fortresses seem to have a higher fertility rate than others.

==Babies==

When children are born, they are looked after by their parents, who will continue working, leaving the baby in the [[workshop]] if they go to get materials. It is thought that babies sharing a tile with their parents always lie down, not the parent. Babies do not have to be born in [[bed]]s, but are born wherever the mother happens to be; the birth will interrupt the mother's current action. If the mother dies the baby will almost always head to the nearest ledge and throw itself off of it, they will continue to do this until they either die or they grow to be a child. Orphans are never adopted by other dwarves.

==Labor==
Children may not be assigned any labors, but perform some activities without any intervention:

* socialising, through arranging [[party|parties]] in [[meeting hall]]s;
* [[harvest|harvesting]] [[crops]], if the 'All dwarves harvest' order is on;
* removing [[construction]]s (such as [[wall]]s, [[floor]]s, [[ramp]]s);
* pulling [[lever]]s;
* filling designated ponds;
* [[hauling]] items to the [[trade depot]];
* eating, drinking, and sleeping as necessary.

Children may not be assigned to the [[noble|nobility]].

==Diet==
Children seem to eat and drink with similar preferences to adult dwarves, including a preference for [[alcohol]] over plain [[water]].

==Kidnapping==
Children are also the target of [[goblin|goblin snatchers]], who will sneak into your fortress and try to kidnap young dwarves by stuffing one in a sack and hightailing it out of there. Like stolen objects, children who are removed from the map are lost forever, for now. [[Toady]] has hinted that slaves can be freed in future version.

==Moods==
[[Strange mood]]s affect children in the same way as adults. [[Experience]] gained through a strange mood will lead to the dwarf having legendary skill in either [[woodcrafting]], [[bone carving]] or [[stonecrafting]], depending on the artifact made.

==Adulthood==
At the age of twelve, children become adult [[dwarf|dwarves]]. While most then become unskilled peasants, those who have successfully completed a strange mood other than possession will become legendary [[craftsdwarf|Craftsdwarves]]; those who help in harvesting plants throughout childhood may have built up sufficient experience points in the [[grower]] skill to become [[Planter]]s.

==Dwarven parenthood==

As an oversight in programming, children's parents can become so preoccupied with finding their children that they can die of thirst. This is aimed to be fixed at a later update.

==Military Children==

Although possibly not a bug, children with military mothers will be carried joyfully into battle and usually slaughtered wholesale. Deactivating the mother's military commission may be the best idea to keep the children alive and the parents from throwing [[tantrum]]s when a stray [[bolt]] hits the child. However, If the dwarven parent in question can be kept happy, Dwarven babies make ''excellent'' combat armour.
''
[[Category:Dwarves]]

Main Page/Quote

2008-11-15T23:08:11Z

Drone:

{{Choose|c={{#if: {{{1|}}}|{{rand|70}}|{{#expr: ({{rand2|10}}+60)}} }}
|I think I'll stick to drowning dwarves and cooking puppies.
|Toady has created a masterpiece!
|I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
|Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange_mood|mysterious]] construction!
|Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
|[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
|[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
|[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
|[[Elephant]]s are like huge, wrinkly [[ambusher|ninjas]].
|The critical question is this''':''' do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
|“Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess.”
|Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
|Booze does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
|My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
|I can just imagine a wagon throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
|Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
|Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
|Only you can prevent fortress fires.
|The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
|Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
|"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
|(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
|[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
|"<nowiki>[B]</nowiki>oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
|"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
|"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
|"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
|Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
|So this pit has had 5/7 water in it for over a month now. How freaking deep do I need to make it to drown that damn kitten?
|Maybe Babies are like Pokemon for [[goblin|Goblins]]... You gotta snatch em all --Neonivek
|The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
|[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
|Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!
Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
|"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
|"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
|"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
|"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://tinyurl.com/6yruly Soup_alex]
|"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
|"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
|"DF taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
|"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
|"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
|"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
|''Belbezevost Närangagak Äkig:'' 
|"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
|It would be incredibly difficult and probably wouldn't work... In other words, it's absolutely Dwarven!
|Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
|Mill their bones to make some bread.
|I can't say what happened at Site 76. Ask the government. --[[Toady One]]
|"After I finished the last quest he had for me, he told me 'When you wake up in the morning, go with Bengel Trustbite the Feral Armors.' So now I'm carrying around the body as a backup throwing weapon." - [[Demonic Gophers]]
|"The wolf's nose has been pierced!"
|"Domesticating Giant Cave Spiders? Ha ha. Aha haha ha ha. No." --[[User:Idiom|Idiom]]
|I mean, how dangerous can an elephant be, anyway?
|Beware of the Elephant's greatest evolutionary trait: [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Talk:Elephant#Stealth_Elephants Stealth].
|Wolf cancels Breathe: Interrupted by ≡Ash Bolt≡.
|There's no wrong way to eat a [[Rhesus macaque|Rhesus]].
|"I started my fortress in preparation for the goblin invasion. To my dismay, they arrived instead with a trade caravan and a friendly wave. I'm thoroughly disappointed in their lack of genocide." --[[User:Idiom|Idiom]]
|Tobul Dumatfath, Fisherdwarf cancels Fish: Interrupted by [[carp]].
|Known bug #1000: Liaison with missing foot brings a new sock and shoe every time, dropping them at the map edge.
|Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
|"Oh, you worship Id Taughtletter The Age of Forever? Ha! I killed her last year! Small world!" --Dadamh
|Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
|"So they'd be shooting things, and suddenly they'd go STOP! HAMMERTIME!"
|There are 5 articles in category "Lore" :Armok, Cave adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher and Vomit.
| "Hey, you know all those trap components in Fortress mode? You can wield them in Adventurer Mode. I'm DRILLING THE SHIT out of SKELETONS AND ZOMBIES."
"You can wield anything in adventurer mode."
"I CANNOT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME DRILLING HOLES IN ELVES!"
|"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
|"Known bug #780: Town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body."
|"I have a dwarf who likes wizards for their wonderful beards. Personally I like them for their pointy hats." --[[User:Diabl0658]]
|"Because you can't make beer out of cats. Yet. " --[[User:RomeoFalling]]"
|"The numourous steel bars and fortifications I had installed to prevent river denizens entering my water supply turned out to be completely unnessary as the snakemen found the entrance to be rather... deeper... Then they had expected. Dwarves began complaining about bits of snake in the well soon after."
}}<noinclude>[[Category:Humor and stories]]</noinclude>

Main Page/Quote

2008-11-15T23:05:09Z

Drone:

{{Choose|c={{#if: {{{1|}}}|{{rand|69}}|{{#expr: ({{rand2|10}}+59)}} }}
|I think I'll stick to drowning dwarves and cooking puppies.
|Toady has created a masterpiece!
|I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
|Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange_mood|mysterious]] construction!
|Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
|[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
|[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
|[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
|[[Elephant]]s are like huge, wrinkly [[ambusher|ninjas]].
|The critical question is this''':''' do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
|“Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess.”
|Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
|Booze does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
|My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
|I can just imagine a wagon throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
|Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
|Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
|Only you can prevent fortress fires.
|The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
|Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
|"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
|(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
|[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
|"<nowiki>[B]</nowiki>oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
|"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
|"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
|"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
|Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
|So this pit has had 5/7 water in it for over a month now. How freaking deep do I need to make it to drown that damn kitten?
|Maybe Babies are like Pokemon for [[goblin|Goblins]]... You gotta snatch em all --Neonivek
|The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
|[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
|Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!
Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
|"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
|"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
|"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
|"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://tinyurl.com/6yruly Soup_alex]
|"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
|"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
|"DF taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
|"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
|"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
|"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
|''Belbezevost Närangagak Äkig:'' 
|"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
|It would be incredibly difficult and probably wouldn't work... In other words, it's absolutely Dwarven!
|Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
|Mill their bones to make some bread.
|I can't say what happened at Site 76. Ask the government. --[[Toady One]]
|"After I finished the last quest he had for me, he told me 'When you wake up in the morning, go with Bengel Trustbite the Feral Armors.' So now I'm carrying around the body as a backup throwing weapon." - [[Demonic Gophers]]
|"The wolf's nose has been pierced!"
|"Domesticating Giant Cave Spiders? Ha ha. Aha haha ha ha. No." --[[User:Idiom|Idiom]]
|I mean, how dangerous can an elephant be, anyway?
|Beware of the Elephant's greatest evolutionary trait: [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Talk:Elephant#Stealth_Elephants Stealth].
|Wolf cancels Breathe: Interrupted by ≡Ash Bolt≡.
|There's no wrong way to eat a [[Rhesus macaque|Rhesus]].
|"I started my fortress in preparation for the goblin invasion. To my dismay, they arrived instead with a trade caravan and a friendly wave. I'm thoroughly disappointed in their lack of genocide." --[[User:Idiom|Idiom]]
|Tobul Dumatfath, Fisherdwarf cancels Fish: Interrupted by [[carp]].
|Known bug #1000: Liaison with missing foot brings a new sock and shoe every time, dropping them at the map edge.
|Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
|"Oh, you worship Id Taughtletter The Age of Forever? Ha! I killed her last year! Small world!" --Dadamh
|Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
|"So they'd be shooting things, and suddenly they'd go STOP! HAMMERTIME!"
|There are 5 articles in category "Lore" :Armok, Cave adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher and Vomit.
| "Hey, you know all those trap components in Fortress mode? You can wield them in Adventurer Mode. I'm DRILLING THE SHIT out of SKELETONS AND ZOMBIES."
"You can wield anything in adventurer mode."
"I CANNOT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME DRILLING HOLES IN ELVES!"
|"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
|"Known bug #780: Town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body."
|"I have a dwarf who likes wizards for their wonderful beards. Personally I like them for their pointy hats." --[[User:Diabl0658]]
|"Because you can't make beer out of cats. Yet. " --[[User:RomeoFalling]]"
|"The numourous steel bars and fortifications I had installed to prevent river denizens entering my water supply turned out to be completely unnessary as the snakemen found the entrance to be rather... deeper... Then they had expected. Dwarves began complaining about bits of snake in the well soon after."
}}<noinclude>[[Category:Humor and stories]]</noinclude>