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2018-10-30T23:34:19Z

Rufflikerex: 1 new quote

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I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --AlienChickenPie
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." Ben jamm1n
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." -- [[Toady One]]
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. -- [[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- [[Toady One|Toady the Great One]]
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. -- [[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--KingAuggie
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- [[Toady One]]
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- [[Toady One]]
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- [[Toady One]]
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted with magma.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argument with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6724410#msg6724410 martinuzz] (on the election of his sole elven-citizen to the position of mayor): 'I think I just lost the game. EDIT: wow, just wow. Her only social skill is "Master Intimidator" all other social skills are dabbling. "ELECT ME OR I EAT YOU AND EXCRETE YOUR DIGESTED REMAINS ON MY ANCESTRAL TREE AS FERTILIZER"'
Zebna ámbekat Rashedezif Ethba, Werecoyote: *kills a dwarf* "Death... This is truly horrifying..." *kills another dwarf*
Spearman: Greetings. My name is Kakpoth. This servant of TRANS_NAME] greets you.
"ERMAHGAWD IM SO DRUNK" - Some sober human in my tavern
Human Farmer: Is that a weapon? What's going on?! Human Animal Caretaker (to Human Farmer): Just now Dur Leaderevens was slain by Olum Senserampaged the Fords of Passing.
Where did all of these chinchilla corpses come from?
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already. --flabort
The mechanics and logistics of milking a kangaroo sound excruciatingly painful for everyone involved.
The Carpenter 'Jesus Christ' Thikutdesis and The Farmer 'Moses' Ezumethab have married!
In the early summer of 129, Ducim Stafftender married a hen.
OH GOD! THE BABIES ARE DEHYDRATING!
'David' Vabokkubuk felt euphoric due to inebriation.
I visited a town to kill a vampire with 98 kills. Every time I attempted to kill him he would run away and return after about 5 minutes. Every attempt caused locals to attack me and I ended up killing 12 people before getting my head impaled by a sword and died. The vampire was unharmed.
The mayor has made 9 mandates in a row requesting the construction of catapult parts. Now he is prohibiting the export of all catapult parts.
One of the children in my fortress became a legendary wood crafter due to a fey mood. He is also only 2 years old.
"Necromancy is sort of like Jaywalking. It's not illegal, just frowned upon." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.1785 Dwarfy]
Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla.
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic.
I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- [[Toady One]]
I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- [[Toady One]]
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint]
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip.
Is that npc humping a table?
Spill the intestines of your enemy, cut them off and keep as a stinking trophy. The smell makes you feel nausea? You are not even a half as nauseous as your victim is now.
a migrant with skills in surgery, butchery and bonecarving. i can see how thos skills suppliment each other. synergies --Scruffy, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=116045.msg6027592;topicseen#msg6027592 !!DRUNK FORTRESS!!]
A Goblin Siege? Good, we were starting to run out of clothes.
Prepared food! What do you mean prepared food?! You mean you aren't content with squatting in a dank cavern gnawing on a cold uncooked mushroom?
A book called ''Into the Elf,'' sounds like a rip off of ''Fifty Shades of Gabbro.''
As a necromancer, I realize not many people try cocaine, most of those people reincarnate for that very reason.
{{bugl|9371|cat=nocat}} [Adventure Mode -- Eating/Drinking] The Human Pikeman Necromancer drinks the «≡steel toy hammer≡».
{{bugl|2484|cat=nocat}}: Eight-legged quadruped
{{bugl|9832|cat=nocat}}: Overuse of casesura and reversal in poetic forms
BAHAHAHA, a goblin just got gelded by a copper mace, this game is the best.
[Bug fix] Made gorlaks able to open doors, stopped desizing of their heads.
{{bugl|4681|cat=nocat}}: A dwarf with a [[Strange mood|fell mood]] grabbed a ghost. It didn't get the required materials, so it grabbed another one.
"You read Misconceptions About Reproduction." The written portion consists of a 69 page manual entitled Misconceptions About Reproduction, authored by Lali Mobblazes. It concerns the reproductive behavior of creatures. The writing is quite self-indulgent. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either. --[https://youtu.be/OYnl4S10MTw?t=33m22s HUMAN ECHOES]
My adventurer found a horse. I knew you couldn't ride horses so I decided to attack it for its meat. {The horse hoof strikes Ehil Casketfrgrance in the head, and the severed part sails off in arc!}
Acik Citudubmith, Werewarthog: I have improved my wrestling. That was very satisfying! (...) The speardwarf stabs the werewarthog in the neck with her ({bismuth bronze spear}) and the severed part sails off in an arc! ~instant karma
Pre-alpha in-dev release. "Nobody on the DFHack team accepts any responsibility for anything that this program causes. It is liable to be very unstable." --japa
It is terrifying.
"Can you tell me where I can find me?" "I don't know, and I don't know anybody that could tell you."
While getting ground and pounded by a ranger, I seize him by the throat and place a chokehold, his response being to frantically punch and scratch me. Then, as we sit in a pool of our own blood frantically trying to kill one another, my opponent then looks me in the eyes and says: "Greetings. My name is Kamven Trustsystem. Let's not hurt anybody."
A horse just grabbed me by the nose with it's front leg and threw me. I wish I knew horse Judo...
Throwing a coat at an enemy tears their leg apart, bruising ligaments and tendons and forcing him to the ground, effectively doing more damage then if I had hacked him with an axe. Eh, seems legit.
Human 2 (to Human 1): I died. It was inevitable.
Dwarf Fortress isn't Dwarf Fortress unless your Trade Depot is inexplicably covered in vomit
[[Tantrum]]: If you can't stand your life anymore, come for treatment to the elephants. [[Unfortunate accident|They'll gladly understand.]]
These secret agents are overdoing it... "What can you tell me about yourself?" "Me? Who's that? I don't know myself." -- [[Toady One]]
Gelu Blossomedstenches the Ripe Sucker of Sacks is a marsh titan. It is the only one of its kind. A great one-eyed six-legged ankylosaurid, it has an austere look about it. Its periwinkle scales are round and close-set. Beware its fire! Gelu is associated with water, plants, nature, muck and animals.
{{bugl|3299|cat=nocat}}: [Animal Populations] Blind cave bears have front toes on both front and rear feet
{{bugl|2790|cat=nocat}}: [Creatures] Alligators needlessly use specific toes
{{bugl|6498|cat=nocat}}: [Adventure Mode -- Conversation] Zombies start conversation with necromancer adventurer who tries to sleep in their house
There's a cost to this movement, and the cost is, 'how much do I value my blood? -- [[Toady One|Tarn Adams]]
It's still a shock. People are playing a text game. That's weird. -- [[Toady One|Tarn Adams]]
[http://i.imgur.com/1A5Au.jpg You get used to it. I, I don't even see the ASCII. All I see is dwarf, *floodgate*, plump helmet spawn...]
{{bugl|9763|cat=nocat}} - [Dwarf Mode -- Immigration] Dwarf missing upper body, but still alive.
"I plan on breeding an entire race of subservient animal people, who will comprise the main workforce of my fortress (not to mention the military)." --[http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/416gqb/eugenics_a_proposal_for_breeding_a_slave_race/ High_king_of_Numenor]
"Whenever I torture someone [in Adventure Mode], I like to 'slug' them. I remove their ears, nose, teeth, and tongue, and break both of their legs. I call it "slugging" because all they can do is crawl around on the floor and cry. Then I like to follow them around and talk to them about the weather." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/2zilxr/the_treefondling_hippie_certainly_deserves_it/cpjoxa9/?context=1 paroonshark]
"My dorfs leave this world the way they came into it: naked, screaming, and on fire." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4ci1l8/ive_been_playing_the_best_game_in_the_world_for/d1iqlbg/?context=4 speedster217]
PROTIP: Make sure to melt all the fat off your body so fire-spewing enemies can't hurt you.
"I see no downside towards making your own child execution chamber." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/43180m/roomcarnage_the_consequences_of_mourning_spoilers/czesj2t/?context=2 aidantheman18]
"I feel like in DF that beating an elf to death with his own infant is considered polite discussion." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4rlr6y/my_mayor_became_king_of_a_different_civilization/d52qn1s/ loercase]
"My mayor just punched 20 zombies to death" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/61zadj/my_mayor_just_punched_20_zombies_to_death_he/ Madrawn]
"What's the easiest way to murder children?" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/pveuj/whats_the_easiest_way_to_murder_children/ Russki]
"I like to play with my food, starting with the fingers, toes, lips, ears, teeth, eyes, nose, then just randomly stabbing them until they bleed out" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4b5lw8/bandits_controlling_hillocks/d16qkym/?context=10000 DwarfTower]
Death... I am not upset by this.
An impressionable child, she inherited the goblin ethics of valuing power over others and her personal dream is to take over the world. I'm sure it'll be fine. -- [[Toady One]]
"I made a giant statue of a dog entirely out of dog soap. It took nearly 10 years." -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163866.msg7431473#msg7431473 Ironfang]
"A mix between Children of Men, City of Ember, and, uh, magma."
"If a sieging army wants to talk, there's an initial petition to arrange a parley, which is not delivered physically -- they hang back outside in relative safety, since you people have a tendency to drop magma on things." -- [[Toady One]]
"Spearmaster stabs the Troglodyte in the left eyelid from behind with his -bronze spear-, tearing the skin!"
This is a stack of 20 masterfully prepared plump helmet roast. The ingredients are masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet and masterfully minced plump helmet.
Once you have entire squads of legendary axedwarves, the game changes. When a forgotten beast attacks your fortress, your first thought is: 'Ooh, we're gonna get some NICE bone bracelets outta this!'
"So I embark. Immediately upon unpausing, the wagon bursts into flames and kills one of my miners." --_Naptune_
{{bugl|9267|cat=nocat}}: Traders bring magma in bags
{{bugl|1701|cat=nocat}}: HFS Critters attempting to clean self
My imprisoned expedition leader just walked home while still considered a prisoner due to some erroneous travel code exclusive to position holders. -- [[Toady One]]
If your vision of dwarves is less about crafting in the mountains, and more about a lone dwarf descending from the hills to attack a village with a pack of a dozen hounds, your vision is now a reality. That's how I tested it, anyway. Five of the dogs were struck down, but the humans will now think twice about whatever it was they were thinking about, that's for sure. -- [[Toady One]]
"Those rivers are out to get you. Why do you think you can't fast travel across them? Because it's an ambush!" -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=164558.msg7555694#msg7555694 Uzu Bash]
Uzol had orders, though, and he followed them to the letter. He broke into the temple and brought me back the relic... now I guess I have a save if I want to test being invaded by angry humans. -- [[Toady One]]
"Ok, so one of the merchants who does nothing in this fortress whatsoever is hunting, that's the one who's hunting, not the 50 hunters I have in the fortress but the useless merchant, of course." -[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash].
"If a site with outcasts hiding in it is conquered, the outcasts are treated like members of the defending site. This can lead to expected things like sewer werebeasts getting crucified. However, it can also make a giant alligator flee the attacking army, wandering the wilderness for a few years before deciding to become a dancer and moving to the city. The giant alligator later remembered itself and went back to attacking villages."[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=145317.msg7472982#msg7472982 -TheFlame52]
"Now, Throw it in the pile and get back to work." [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash]
"...go to reclaim artifacts that were either stolen by kobolds or something, or maybe weren't yours to begin with, and you can be bad dwarves. Start some shit." -- [[Toady One]]
"Horse is hopping up and down on your mutilated body. you are deceased."
"I went to a human town one day that had one of those open markets, and every one of the merchants there was a dingo man, and they are were all saying "In a time before time I attacked me." to every one around them." -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=164791.msg7554631#msg7554631 King Zultan]
“Still, I'm curious about just what exactly drives the cohesion and otherwise lack of dickery. Is a hatred of elves and love of mushrooms really enough? Could this be the foundation for world peace?” — [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=167881.msg7595536#msg7595536 Immortal-D]
Some uncommon situations have become hard to debug with a test adventurer, so world debug mode can now manifest the cursor as an adventurer. Lots of "Hello. My name is Manifestation. Why are you traveling?" today. They don't notice the cursor human is clothing-free yet. -- [[Toady One]]
I used my debug power to manifest as the Manifestation, holding the quest crossbow, which I immediately handed over. When I asked the quester about it, he said "An unknown creature has given an unknown creature <correct artifact name>. I don't care one way or another." -- [[Toady One]]
apparently some of my children like to play inside the barracks, upon inspection they were all skilled axedwarves.
"And there they go to the capital, with their wagons full of Delersholid's balls" [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA -Kruggsmash]
I want you to visualize the future. Toady and I are in the Bay 12 office somewhere in the woods west of Seattle. I, Threetoe, am poring over our notes, preparing for a presentation I'm giving in a couple days. Toady is slaving away at his computer, stopping every now and then to yell at [[Scamps]] after the little punk scratches his exposed elbow. -- [[ThreeToe]]
I wish there were tags to follow certain materials so I can mod in that thing from Stranger Things
{{bugl|10350|cat=nocat}}: Horses have objects of worship
Meanwhile, bugs used as melee weapons sustain no wear at all, having tested this by using a live slug to punch a dwarf in the stomach long enough to make him explode. [http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9920 - Bug Report #0009920]
{{bugl|8779|cat=nocat}}: Adventurer encounters naked, mute, hostile dwarven expedition leader
{{bugl|10485|cat=nocat}}: Dwarf recruit insane for 33 years standing around in the wilderness, formed friendship after insanity
Animals no longer become distracted from being unable to drink if they've experienced trauma, or from being unable to worship gods they shouldn't have been worshiping in the first place... -- [[Toady One]]
"STEALTH WEREMAMMOTHS??!!" -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=141173.0 Dunamisdeos]
High-cheekbones kobold wrestler (to the high-voiced kobold spearman): Identify yourself! High-voiced kobold spearman (to the high-cheekbones kobold wrestler): Identify yourself! High-cheekbones kobold wrestler (to the high-voiced kobold spearman): Identify yourself!
Dropping a boulder on somebody and then leaving my dwarves unattended outside with nothing to do for a year resulted in tantrums, depression and oblivious wandering, so it seems to be working (...) I wasn't aware of their relationship status when the boulder fell; that's just how it turned out, sadly. --[[Toady One]]
Goblins are meant to die violent deaths. -- [[Toady One]][http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=1104.msg14899#msg14899]
You drink the lye. You feel really full. You drink the lye. It's too much, you might not be able to keep it down! You vomit. You drink the lye.
I have some good saves I can look at and so forth, so hopefully I can pick some decent numbers if they are a problem, and if the numbers are fine, focus just on the ridiculous "scary teeth" part of it. Although I guess teeth are scary sometimes, but it takes like a whole horror movie to build up to why, and these are just random troll teeth. -- [[Toady One]]
Insurrections were such a problem in sites that I had to turn them off for your fortress's holdings; we'll get back to that later. It wasn't even the insurrections, really; the dwarves were bailing on the occupation immediately because they were afraid of insurrections. -- [[Toady One]]
I have a fort that is now a mountainhome. The king "doesn't really care about the law".
Currently I am being attacked by a giant 3-eyed stick insect and a scaly, winged, blue snail. What an awesome game!
In a siege I stationed my marksdwarves at the top of my wall to fire out of the fortifications. Everything was going great until they decided it would be a good idea to jump OVER the fortifications, off the wall, and into the enemy axedwarves.
In the middle of a fight with a forgotten beast my axelord walked off to "Store Item in Stockpile".
I may or may not have entirely filled the cavern with water. . .
Hey! Why can't I trade right now? Where is my trader? Oh. Unconscious with last thought being "Euphoric after drinking". Hangover?
The dwarven baby has long clean-shaven sideburns and a very long mustache and prefers dwarven beer or ale.
After producing three notable poems, Zicab was murdered by a goblin armorer in the pits (who was later devoured by a giant lion, so that has a happy ending.) -- [[Toady One]]
Artuk soon gave up on fighting, and became a poet like her father and grandmother, moving again to the goblin pits, where apparently all poetry in this world is written. -- [[Toady One]]
The plum wood logs strikes the woodcutter in the left upper leg and the injured part is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mess! An artery has been opened in the attack! The woodcutter slams into an obstacle!
No, that's disgusting.
There is a new King of Beasts, and its name is Badger. Tremble before it. -- Unintelligent
An ambush! Curse all friends of nature!
The last fortress I started under conditions this horrible ended with the last survivor going mad after a skeletal mandrill ate his pet kitten and going on a suicide charge into zombie elefants while naked and on fire.
For instance, a human trading company called the Present Hall was wildly successful trading various leathers and bones for crafting, and eventually had enough clout to open a branch warehouse inside a dwarf fortress for the first time. Can't resist that draltha leather. -- [[Toady One]]
This turned out to be a strategic error, as two short years later, a forgotten beast obliterated the fortress, the warehouse, and killed everyone inside. So, what's the correct response? Close the destroyed branch? No, no, you stimulate the (non-existent) economy by hiring local. Forgotten beast, you're the new (ruined) warehouse administrator, congratulations! -- [[Toady One]]
"I got into an argument with a cat. That was very exhilarating!"
It is a blessing as much as it is depressing that you can drink your own tears.
"One time, a horde of Monkeys doomed my Dwarves by stealing their supplies in mass. They died that night."
"So I had my brewer go out to pick some fruits from the nearby trees to use for some quick booze production to kick start my newest fortress, but while he was standing on his stepladder he suddenly became thirsty. / I did whatever I could to try and save him, but he inevitably died of dehydrated and then fell face-first into the ground off his stepladder." -Urist commenting on "Ladderbound".
"Dude, anything's possible with enough work, time, and lots of alcohol." -Dummy rambling about multiplayer.
<noinclude>|(\n)|$1#}}</noinclude>

Main Page/Quote/list

2018-10-28T20:42:44Z

Rufflikerex: Just some more funny quotes.

<noinclude>
To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line.
#{{#rreplace:</noinclude>
I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]!
Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
"Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
Wait, you're MAKING animals? —''Torak'' At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows. —''Spiders Everywhere''
"Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..." --[[Toady One]]
(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter. --Sowelu Very fitting to dwarves, I must add. --Sean Mirrsen
[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded. --AlienChickenPie
"[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats." --[[Toady One]]
"I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example." --[[Toady One]]
"You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!" --[[User:Savok|Savok]]
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
"Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
"Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
"...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
"This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex]
"The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
"Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
"Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
"Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
"There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
"Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
"It's never 'just a game' when you're losing." --George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
"Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." Ben jamm1n
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave Adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]].
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
"You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?" '''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
Bug 000597 [creatures] - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
'''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire. I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
The carp has drowned.
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
"I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
"Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave." -- [[Toady One]]
Bug 000871 [projectiles] - babies fall to death when born on stairs
Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
"[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. -- [[Toady One]]
Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots."
"I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- [[Toady One|Toady the Great One]]
Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots
"As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
"Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
It has stats. It can be killed.
Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] - Bones pop out of coffins.
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that.
Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. -- [[Toady One]]
Mew? Chop!
"If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and demons."
'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron! The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas! Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
Losing is [[Fun]]!!! --The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
"Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am." -- Dwarven Philosopher
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung! ''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
"You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
Do not taunt magma.
I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--KingAuggie
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
"The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
"Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- [[Toady One]]
Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- [[Toady One]]
The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood? [23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn.
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves.
{{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} - Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature
{{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} - Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range
Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. -- Exelixi
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target.
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts.
I also got started on jumping. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. -- [[Toady One]]
Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant. Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine!
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves!
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain.
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite.
{{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin
{{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode -- Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth"
{{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick
{{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids
"This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility." -- Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath
The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. -- [[Toady One]]
I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year).
They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. -- Urist Da Vinci
Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. -- [[Toady One]]
Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. -- [[Toady One]]
You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices.
Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care.
You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror.
{{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned
{{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag
{{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being."
It was inevitable.
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night.
I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. --Evil One
Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}.
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young.
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees
Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. --[[Toady One]]
The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. --Halfling
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified.
Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! --Garath
Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. --Sirbug
Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. -- [[Toady One]]
"I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died."
I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. -- [[Toady One]]
I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. -- [[Toady One]]
The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. -- [[Toady One]]
Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill.
The poor thing died with the message "<name> has condensed." -- [[Toady One]]
In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. -- [[Toady One]]
The titan was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. -- [[Toady One]]
Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. --[[Toady One]]
I have my little invisible help-wanted ads for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. --[[Toady One]]
You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2.
It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. --[[Toady One]]
Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die.
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge!
[[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. --[[Toady One]]
The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. --[[Toady One]]
Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!"
Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? --[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja]
You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay ''live bees''. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. --[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress TVTropes]
Ah well. Who knew the first Dwarf to go to space was a useless [[fisherdwarf]].
I launched 4 dwarves into the air with a bridge and only 3 came down.
If you are working with [[magma|central heating]], make sure the "hot" pipe and the "cold" pipe don't mix, or your heating system will likely not work as intended.
It's no longer called magma when it reaches the surface... and melts a hundred goblins.
Dwarves are like squirrels, but instead of acorns it's booze.
Carp are to be feared, worshipped, and roasted with magma.
It's easier to buy out a caravan than it is to take the time to shop.
I had a fortress where roughly 90% of the engravings were of buckets, buckets surrounded by dwarves, and buckets surrounded by screaming dwarves. --[http://dfstories.com/buckets/ taran]
Led Zanzustash dove into the rapids, and climbed out a day later. He had several injuries, some broken bones, and a missing finger, but he had done it: he saved a barrel of booze that was nearly destroyed (the baby died).
"In a time before time, I killed me." -Human with nothing else to [[Adventurer_mode#Talking|gossip]] about
There is currently a minor problem in that the veteran demons fighting in the corpse factory have failed to die in the 2 year battle and have become legendary unkillable gods of war. I may have misjudged this possible outcome. -- Loud Whispers
Added the Giant Adder to dwarven menu. --TheCrazyHamsteR
"What's the purpose of adding [[feather tree]]s to the game? To make good pillows", I think. --TheCrazyHamsteR
In a time before time, somebody attacked somebody.
Dwarf Fortress: [[Undead|Respawning after death]] is even more [[fun]].
"I tried to carve 'god hates this place' into the mountain. Unfortunately, Athlete's footnote got stuck in the 'a' of 'place' and starved to death"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.
If your dwarves start melting or slugmen explode whenever it rains, then it's a good indication it's too hot. --UberNube
What you see as an increase in population, the surrounding beasts simply see as a more stable food supply. --Taupe, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
That's right, the undead ravens killed the entirety of the hidden fun stuff. --Loud Whispers
"Astesh Savotsazir, Stray Kitten (Tame) has adopted Ingish Rimtaruzol, Siege Engineer."
Dwarf Fortress, flinging dwarves into space using a drawbridge since 2006.
Sometimes the best trophy is your own head.
I like to think that the other pole [of the world] was destroyed by a dwarven experiment gone right. --GMDev
Unfortunately for Urist McDeadman, the budget no longer allowed for personal mausoleums for every dwarf, as had previously been standard.
Nil Aliscatten cancels make Charcoal: dangerous terrain.
A Kobold Thief has made off with +Kobold Cage+!
OH GOD I'M BEING EATEN BY A SNAIL, WHAT AN UNEXPECTED AND SORT OF IRONIC TWIST! --Max, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=144852.0/ DoomForests]
"In the early spring of 500, the rain monster was struck down by the banshee of drought Scrapedrent in The Hellish Marshes."
Deler Kulinkeskal, Weaver is exhilarated after being attacked. "I was attacked. How exhilarating!"
I wonder how the elves can eat these... *licks a leaf*
Well, someone already managed to drink their sword.
How is my dining room possibly this full of badgers? -Skid
I just drafted a Llama into my army and it already killed a [[roc]] by itself. -Ashameron
Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves. --[[Toady One]]
{{bugl|8977|cat=nocat}} [Diplomacy] -- Merchant caravans get stuck in tree.
Each time a pile of wool becomes alive and attacks my dwarves I think it doesn't want to end as worn clothes. --TheCrazyHamsteR
Erith also gets kudos for killing a demon by eating it to death. --Loud Whispers
I (somehow) wield a marble coffin that I fill with the corpses of all I have slain (to make an already heavy object even heavier) in one hand, and the other holds a book made out out of fucking platinum. The book can crush skulls, and the coffin grows ever stronger and now that is has a few dead dragons in it, it sends people flying a mile backwards to explode in a pile of gore. Gore which I then place into the coffin. -- Wwolin
Jump into a deep pit and let your body experience overwhelming kinetic energy. --TheCrazyHamsteR
The Herbalist has become enraged! Kadol Imushothil, Herbalist: "I got into an argument with Kol Kissrazors. I am so angry!"
Stozu Ägusnodub, Goblin Woodcutter (to Dang Kutsmobnozam, Goblin Diagnoser): "Not a half hour ago I attacked me."
Some migrants have arrived, despite the danger.
"Mestthos Savotsazir, baby, has been mising for weeks!" And the babysitter still got paid.
My miner gets scared by a ghost, climbs a tree, the ghost cuts off his arm, he's stuck in the tree, my woodcutter cuts down the tree, and then my miner is crippled for the rest of his life.
Guys seriously, no food in the library! I'm mainly talking to you Urist McDonothingbutdrinkmyboozeandeatmyfood!
Losing is fun they said, it's the whole point they said.
[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=15096.msg6724410#msg6724410 martinuzz] (on the election of his sole elven-citizen to the position of mayor): 'I think I just lost the game. EDIT: wow, just wow. Her only social skill is "Master Intimidator" all other social skills are dabbling. "ELECT ME OR I EAT YOU AND EXCRETE YOUR DIGESTED REMAINS ON MY ANCESTRAL TREE AS FERTILIZER"'
Zebna ámbekat Rashedezif Ethba, Werecoyote: *kills a dwarf* "Death... This is truly horrifying..." *kills another dwarf*
Spearman: Greetings. My name is Kakpoth. This servant of TRANS_NAME] greets you.
"ERMAHGAWD IM SO DRUNK" - Some sober human in my tavern
Human Farmer: Is that a weapon? What's going on?! Human Animal Caretaker (to Human Farmer): Just now Dur Leaderevens was slain by Olum Senserampaged the Fords of Passing.
Where did all of these chinchilla corpses come from?
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already. --flabort
The mechanics and logistics of milking a kangaroo sound excruciatingly painful for everyone involved.
The Carpenter 'Jesus Christ' Thikutdesis and The Farmer 'Moses' Ezumethab have married!
In the early summer of 129, Ducim Stafftender married a hen.
OH GOD! THE BABIES ARE DEHYDRATING!
'David' Vabokkubuk felt euphoric due to inebriation.
I visited a town to kill a vampire with 98 kills. Every time I attempted to kill him he would run away and return after about 5 minutes. Every attempt caused locals to attack me and I ended up killing 12 people before getting my head impaled by a sword and died. The vampire was unharmed.
The mayor has made 9 mandates in a row requesting the construction of catapult parts. Now he is prohibiting the export of all catapult parts.
One of the children in my fortress became a legendary wood crafter due to a fey mood. He is also only 2 years old.
"Necromancy is sort of like Jaywalking. It's not illegal, just frowned upon." - [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=136384.1785 Dwarfy]
Urist McWimp, Hunter cancels Return Kill: Interrupted by a chinchilla.
Dear Urist McEngineer, If you become drowsy, please wait to finish constructing your hallway of large serrated disc death BEFORE you take a nap. Your bloody, gibbed corpse will be stowed away in the refuse stockpile. --bigjaredmonkey, in the "[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63417.msg6961519#msg6961519 Note to Urist]" topic.
I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative dacite figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning -- [[Toady One]]
I filled my fortress's temple with statues and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. -- [[Toady One]]
I once got sieged by an army of toads lead by a pyromancer. Not toadmen, not giant toads, but toads. The kind cats murder. -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=34430.msg6961973#msg6961973 Splint]
Giant cave toads may appear as mounts during a goblin attack, where they will happily swim their way into your fortress via any unprotected waterways. If the underwater path is short enough sometimes their goblin riders even survive the trip.
Is that npc humping a table?
Spill the intestines of your enemy, cut them off and keep as a stinking trophy. The smell makes you feel nausea? You are not even a half as nauseous as your victim is now.
a migrant with skills in surgery, butchery and bonecarving. i can see how thos skills suppliment each other. synergies --Scruffy, [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=116045.msg6027592;topicseen#msg6027592 !!DRUNK FORTRESS!!]
A Goblin Siege? Good, we were starting to run out of clothes.
Prepared food! What do you mean prepared food?! You mean you aren't content with squatting in a dank cavern gnawing on a cold uncooked mushroom?
A book called ''Into the Elf,'' sounds like a rip off of ''Fifty Shades of Gabbro.''
As a necromancer, I realize not many people try cocaine, most of those people reincarnate for that very reason.
{{bugl|9371|cat=nocat}} [Adventure Mode -- Eating/Drinking] The Human Pikeman Necromancer drinks the «≡steel toy hammer≡».
{{bugl|2484|cat=nocat}}: Eight-legged quadruped
{{bugl|9832|cat=nocat}}: Overuse of casesura and reversal in poetic forms
BAHAHAHA, a goblin just got gelded by a copper mace, this game is the best.
[Bug fix] Made gorlaks able to open doors, stopped desizing of their heads.
{{bugl|4681|cat=nocat}}: A dwarf with a [[Strange mood|fell mood]] grabbed a ghost. It didn't get the required materials, so it grabbed another one.
"You read Misconceptions About Reproduction." The written portion consists of a 69 page manual entitled Misconceptions About Reproduction, authored by Lali Mobblazes. It concerns the reproductive behavior of creatures. The writing is quite self-indulgent. Overall, the prose is not awful, but not very good either. --[https://youtu.be/OYnl4S10MTw?t=33m22s HUMAN ECHOES]
My adventurer found a horse. I knew you couldn't ride horses so I decided to attack it for its meat. {The horse hoof strikes Ehil Casketfrgrance in the head, and the severed part sails off in arc!}
Acik Citudubmith, Werewarthog: I have improved my wrestling. That was very satisfying! (...) The speardwarf stabs the werewarthog in the neck with her ({bismuth bronze spear}) and the severed part sails off in an arc! ~instant karma
Pre-alpha in-dev release. "Nobody on the DFHack team accepts any responsibility for anything that this program causes. It is liable to be very unstable." --japa
It is terrifying.
"Can you tell me where I can find me?" "I don't know, and I don't know anybody that could tell you."
While getting ground and pounded by a ranger, I seize him by the throat and place a chokehold, his response being to frantically punch and scratch me. Then, as we sit in a pool of our own blood frantically trying to kill one another, my opponent then looks me in the eyes and says: "Greetings. My name is Kamven Trustsystem. Let's not hurt anybody."
A horse just grabbed me by the nose with it's front leg and threw me. I wish I knew horse Judo...
Throwing a coat at an enemy tears their leg apart, bruising ligaments and tendons and forcing him to the ground, effectively doing more damage then if I had hacked him with an axe. Eh, seems legit.
Human 2 (to Human 1): I died. It was inevitable.
Dwarf Fortress isn't Dwarf Fortress unless your Trade Depot is inexplicably covered in vomit
[[Tantrum]]: If you can't stand your life anymore, come for treatment to the elephants. [[Unfortunate accident|They'll gladly understand.]]
These secret agents are overdoing it... "What can you tell me about yourself?" "Me? Who's that? I don't know myself." -- [[Toady One]]
Gelu Blossomedstenches the Ripe Sucker of Sacks is a marsh titan. It is the only one of its kind. A great one-eyed six-legged ankylosaurid, it has an austere look about it. Its periwinkle scales are round and close-set. Beware its fire! Gelu is associated with water, plants, nature, muck and animals.
{{bugl|3299|cat=nocat}}: [Animal Populations] Blind cave bears have front toes on both front and rear feet
{{bugl|2790|cat=nocat}}: [Creatures] Alligators needlessly use specific toes
{{bugl|6498|cat=nocat}}: [Adventure Mode -- Conversation] Zombies start conversation with necromancer adventurer who tries to sleep in their house
There's a cost to this movement, and the cost is, 'how much do I value my blood? -- [[Toady One|Tarn Adams]]
It's still a shock. People are playing a text game. That's weird. -- [[Toady One|Tarn Adams]]
[http://i.imgur.com/1A5Au.jpg You get used to it. I, I don't even see the ASCII. All I see is dwarf, *floodgate*, plump helmet spawn...]
{{bugl|9763|cat=nocat}} - [Dwarf Mode -- Immigration] Dwarf missing upper body, but still alive.
"I plan on breeding an entire race of subservient animal people, who will comprise the main workforce of my fortress (not to mention the military)." --[http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/416gqb/eugenics_a_proposal_for_breeding_a_slave_race/ High_king_of_Numenor]
"Whenever I torture someone [in Adventure Mode], I like to 'slug' them. I remove their ears, nose, teeth, and tongue, and break both of their legs. I call it "slugging" because all they can do is crawl around on the floor and cry. Then I like to follow them around and talk to them about the weather." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/2zilxr/the_treefondling_hippie_certainly_deserves_it/cpjoxa9/?context=1 paroonshark]
"My dorfs leave this world the way they came into it: naked, screaming, and on fire." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4ci1l8/ive_been_playing_the_best_game_in_the_world_for/d1iqlbg/?context=4 speedster217]
PROTIP: Make sure to melt all the fat off your body so fire-spewing enemies can't hurt you.
"I see no downside towards making your own child execution chamber." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/43180m/roomcarnage_the_consequences_of_mourning_spoilers/czesj2t/?context=2 aidantheman18]
"I feel like in DF that beating an elf to death with his own infant is considered polite discussion." -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4rlr6y/my_mayor_became_king_of_a_different_civilization/d52qn1s/ loercase]
"My mayor just punched 20 zombies to death" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/61zadj/my_mayor_just_punched_20_zombies_to_death_he/ Madrawn]
"What's the easiest way to murder children?" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/pveuj/whats_the_easiest_way_to_murder_children/ Russki]
"I like to play with my food, starting with the fingers, toes, lips, ears, teeth, eyes, nose, then just randomly stabbing them until they bleed out" -- [http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/4b5lw8/bandits_controlling_hillocks/d16qkym/?context=10000 DwarfTower]
Death... I am not upset by this.
An impressionable child, she inherited the goblin ethics of valuing power over others and her personal dream is to take over the world. I'm sure it'll be fine. -- [[Toady One]]
"I made a giant statue of a dog entirely out of dog soap. It took nearly 10 years." -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=163866.msg7431473#msg7431473 Ironfang]
"A mix between Children of Men, City of Ember, and, uh, magma."
"If a sieging army wants to talk, there's an initial petition to arrange a parley, which is not delivered physically -- they hang back outside in relative safety, since you people have a tendency to drop magma on things." -- [[Toady One]]
"Spearmaster stabs the Troglodyte in the left eyelid from behind with his -bronze spear-, tearing the skin!"
This is a stack of 20 masterfully prepared plump helmet roast. The ingredients are masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet, masterfully minced plump helmet and masterfully minced plump helmet.
Once you have entire squads of legendary axedwarves, the game changes. When a forgotten beast attacks your fortress, your first thought is: 'Ooh, we're gonna get some NICE bone bracelets outta this!'
"So I embark. Immediately upon unpausing, the wagon bursts into flames and kills one of my miners." --_Naptune_
{{bugl|9267|cat=nocat}}: Traders bring magma in bags
{{bugl|1701|cat=nocat}}: HFS Critters attempting to clean self
My imprisoned expedition leader just walked home while still considered a prisoner due to some erroneous travel code exclusive to position holders. -- [[Toady One]]
If your vision of dwarves is less about crafting in the mountains, and more about a lone dwarf descending from the hills to attack a village with a pack of a dozen hounds, your vision is now a reality. That's how I tested it, anyway. Five of the dogs were struck down, but the humans will now think twice about whatever it was they were thinking about, that's for sure. -- [[Toady One]]
"Those rivers are out to get you. Why do you think you can't fast travel across them? Because it's an ambush!" -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=164558.msg7555694#msg7555694 Uzu Bash]
Uzol had orders, though, and he followed them to the letter. He broke into the temple and brought me back the relic... now I guess I have a save if I want to test being invaded by angry humans. -- [[Toady One]]
"Ok, so one of the merchants who does nothing in this fortress whatsoever is hunting, that's the one who's hunting, not the 50 hunters I have in the fortress but the useless merchant, of course." -[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash].
"If a site with outcasts hiding in it is conquered, the outcasts are treated like members of the defending site. This can lead to expected things like sewer werebeasts getting crucified. However, it can also make a giant alligator flee the attacking army, wandering the wilderness for a few years before deciding to become a dancer and moving to the city. The giant alligator later remembered itself and went back to attacking villages."[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=145317.msg7472982#msg7472982 -TheFlame52]
"Now, Throw it in the pile and get back to work." [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA Kruggsmash]
"...go to reclaim artifacts that were either stolen by kobolds or something, or maybe weren't yours to begin with, and you can be bad dwarves. Start some shit." -- [[Toady One]]
"Horse is hopping up and down on your mutilated body. you are deceased."
"I went to a human town one day that had one of those open markets, and every one of the merchants there was a dingo man, and they are were all saying "In a time before time I attacked me." to every one around them." -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=164791.msg7554631#msg7554631 King Zultan]
“Still, I'm curious about just what exactly drives the cohesion and otherwise lack of dickery. Is a hatred of elves and love of mushrooms really enough? Could this be the foundation for world peace?” — [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=167881.msg7595536#msg7595536 Immortal-D]
Some uncommon situations have become hard to debug with a test adventurer, so world debug mode can now manifest the cursor as an adventurer. Lots of "Hello. My name is Manifestation. Why are you traveling?" today. They don't notice the cursor human is clothing-free yet. -- [[Toady One]]
I used my debug power to manifest as the Manifestation, holding the quest crossbow, which I immediately handed over. When I asked the quester about it, he said "An unknown creature has given an unknown creature <correct artifact name>. I don't care one way or another." -- [[Toady One]]
apparently some of my children like to play inside the barracks, upon inspection they were all skilled axedwarves.
"And there they go to the capital, with their wagons full of Delersholid's balls" [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaifrB5IrvGNPJmPeVOcqBA -Kruggsmash]
I want you to visualize the future. Toady and I are in the Bay 12 office somewhere in the woods west of Seattle. I, Threetoe, am poring over our notes, preparing for a presentation I'm giving in a couple days. Toady is slaving away at his computer, stopping every now and then to yell at [[Scamps]] after the little punk scratches his exposed elbow. -- [[ThreeToe]]
I wish there were tags to follow certain materials so I can mod in that thing from Stranger Things
{{bugl|10350|cat=nocat}}: Horses have objects of worship
Meanwhile, bugs used as melee weapons sustain no wear at all, having tested this by using a live slug to punch a dwarf in the stomach long enough to make him explode. [http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=9920 - Bug Report #0009920]
{{bugl|8779|cat=nocat}}: Adventurer encounters naked, mute, hostile dwarven expedition leader
{{bugl|10485|cat=nocat}}: Dwarf recruit insane for 33 years standing around in the wilderness, formed friendship after insanity
Animals no longer become distracted from being unable to drink if they've experienced trauma, or from being unable to worship gods they shouldn't have been worshiping in the first place... -- [[Toady One]]
"STEALTH WEREMAMMOTHS??!!" -- [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=141173.0 Dunamisdeos]
High-cheekbones kobold wrestler (to the high-voiced kobold spearman): Identify yourself! High-voiced kobold spearman (to the high-cheekbones kobold wrestler): Identify yourself! High-cheekbones kobold wrestler (to the high-voiced kobold spearman): Identify yourself!
Dropping a boulder on somebody and then leaving my dwarves unattended outside with nothing to do for a year resulted in tantrums, depression and oblivious wandering, so it seems to be working (...) I wasn't aware of their relationship status when the boulder fell; that's just how it turned out, sadly. --[[Toady One]]
Goblins are meant to die violent deaths. -- [[Toady One]][http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=1104.msg14899#msg14899]
You drink the lye. You feel really full. You drink the lye. It's too much, you might not be able to keep it down! You vomit. You drink the lye.
I have some good saves I can look at and so forth, so hopefully I can pick some decent numbers if they are a problem, and if the numbers are fine, focus just on the ridiculous "scary teeth" part of it. Although I guess teeth are scary sometimes, but it takes like a whole horror movie to build up to why, and these are just random troll teeth. -- [[Toady One]]
Insurrections were such a problem in sites that I had to turn them off for your fortress's holdings; we'll get back to that later. It wasn't even the insurrections, really; the dwarves were bailing on the occupation immediately because they were afraid of insurrections. -- [[Toady One]]
I have a fort that is now a mountainhome. The king "doesn't really care about the law".
Currently I am being attacked by a giant 3-eyed stick insect and a scaly, winged, blue snail. What an awesome game!
In a siege I stationed my marksdwarves at the top of my wall to fire out of the fortifications. Everything was going great until they decided it would be a good idea to jump OVER the fortifications, off the wall, and into the enemy axedwarves.
In the middle of a fight with a forgotten beast my axelord walked off to "Store Item in Stockpile".
I may or may not have entirely filled the cavern with water. . .
Hey! Why can't I trade right now? Where is my trader? Oh. Unconscious with last thought being "Euphoric after drinking". Hangover?
The dwarven baby has long clean-shaven sideburns and a very long mustache and prefers dwarven beer or ale.
After producing three notable poems, Zicab was murdered by a goblin armorer in the pits (who was later devoured by a giant lion, so that has a happy ending.) -- [[Toady One]]
Artuk soon gave up on fighting, and became a poet like her father and grandmother, moving again to the goblin pits, where apparently all poetry in this world is written. -- [[Toady One]]
The plum wood logs strikes the woodcutter in the left upper leg and the injured part is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mess! An artery has been opened in the attack! The woodcutter slams into an obstacle!
No, that's disgusting.
There is a new King of Beasts, and its name is Badger. Tremble before it. -- Unintelligent
An ambush! Curse all friends of nature!
The last fortress I started under conditions this horrible ended with the last survivor going mad after a skeletal mandrill ate his pet kitten and going on a suicide charge into zombie elefants while naked and on fire.
For instance, a human trading company called the Present Hall was wildly successful trading various leathers and bones for crafting, and eventually had enough clout to open a branch warehouse inside a dwarf fortress for the first time. Can't resist that draltha leather. -- [[Toady One]]
This turned out to be a strategic error, as two short years later, a forgotten beast obliterated the fortress, the warehouse, and killed everyone inside. So, what's the correct response? Close the destroyed branch? No, no, you stimulate the (non-existent) economy by hiring local. Forgotten beast, you're the new (ruined) warehouse administrator, congratulations! -- [[Toady One]]
"I got into an argument with a cat. That was very exhilarating!"
It is a blessing as much as it is depressing that you can drink your own tears.
"One time, a horde of Monkeys doomed my Dwarves by stealing their supplies in mass. They died that night."
"So I had my brewer go out to pick some fruits from the nearby trees to use for some quick booze production to kick start my newest fortress, but while he was standing on his stepladder he suddenly became thirsty. / I did whatever I could to try and save him, but he inevitably died of dehydrated and then fell face-first into the ground off his stepladder." -Urist commenting on "Ladderbound".
<noinclude>|(\n)|$1#}}</noinclude>

Dwarven language

2018-10-26T03:28:06Z

Rufflikerex: /* Vocabulary */

{{distinguish|l1 = Khuzdul|wikipedia: Khuzdul}}

The '''Dwarven language''' is one of the [[language]]s the player will come across. This language is used in-game for the names of the universe, continents, rivers, dwarven governments and settlements, dwarves, artifacts and engravings. However, as of yet, it lacks everything necessary for proper conversation, like grammar or personal pronouns.

==Alphabet==
The letters of the Dwarven alphabet are:
<center>
{|class="wikitable" style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|-

|width=2% align="center"|1||width=2% align="center"|2
|width=2% align="center"|3||width=2% align="center"|4
|width=2% align="center"|5||width=2% align="center"|6
|width=2% align="center"|7||width=2% align="center"|8
|width=2% align="center"|9||width=2% align="center"|10
|width=2% align="center"|11||width=2% align="center"|12
|width=2% align="center"|13||width=2% align="center"|14
|width=2% align="center"|15||width=2% align="center"|16
|width=2% align="center"|17||width=2% align="center"|18
|width=2% align="center"|19||width=2% align="center"|20
|width=2% align="center"|21||width=2% align="center"|22
|width=2% align="center"|23||width=2% align="center"|24
|width=2% align="center"|25||width=2% align="center"|26
|width=2% align="center"|27||width=2% align="center"|28
|width=2% align="center"|29||width=2% align="center"|30
|width=2% align="center"|31||width=2% align="center"|32
|width=2% align="center"|33||width=2% align="center"|34
|width=2% align="center"|35||width=2% align="center"|36
|width=2% align="center"|37||width=2% align="center"|38
|width=2% align="center"|39||width=2% align="center"|40
|-
|bgcolor="#EFEFEF" align="center" colspan="40" | '''Majuscule forms''' (also called '''uppercase''' or '''capital letters''')
|-
|width=2% align="center"|A||width=2% align="center"|À||width=2% align="center"|Á||width=2% align="center"|Â||width=2% align="center"|Ä||width=2% align="center"|Å||width=2% align="center"|B||width=2% align="center"|C||width=2% align="center"|D||width=2% align="center"|E||width=2% align="center"|È||width=2% align="center"|É||width=2% align="center"|Ê||width=2% align="center"|Ë||width=2% align="center"|F||width=2% align="center"|G||width=2% align="center"|H||width=2% align="center"|I||width=2% align="center"|Ì||width=2% align="center"|Í||width=2% align="center"|Î||width=2% align="center"|Ï||width=2% align="center"|K||width=2% align="center"|L||width=2% align="center"|M||width=2% align="center"|N||width=2% align="center"|O||width=2% align="center"|Ò||width=2% align="center"|Ó||width=2% align="center"|Ô||width=2% align="center"|Ö||width=2% align="center"|R||width=2% align="center"|S||width=2% align="center"|T||width=2% align="center"|U||width=2% align="center"|Ù||width=2% align="center"|Ú||width=2% align="center"|Û||width=2% align="center"|V||width=2% align="center"|Z
|-
|bgcolor="#EFEFEF" align="center" colspan="40" | '''Minuscule forms''' (also called '''lowercase''' or '''small letters''')
|-
|align="center"|a||align="center"|à||align="center"|á||align="center"|â||align="center"|ä||align="center"|å||align="center"|b||align="center"|c||align="center"|d||align="center"|e||align="center"|è||align="center"|é||align="center"|ê||align="center"|ë||align="center"|f||align="center"|g||align="center"|h||align="center"|i||align="center"|ì||align="center"|í||align="center"|î||align="center"|ï||align="center"|k||align="center"|l||align="center"|m||align="center"|n||align="center"|o||align="center"|ò||align="center"|ó||align="center"|ô||align="center"|ö||align="center"|r||align="center"|s||align="center"|t||align="center"|u||align="center"|ù||align="center"|ú||align="center"|û||align="center"|v||align="center"|z
|}
</center>

Of these 40 letters, 25 are vowels (A, À, Á, Â, Ä, Å, E, È, É, Ê, Ë, I, Ì, Í, Î, Ï, O, Ò, Ó, Ô, Ö, U, Ù, Ú, Û); the 15 others are consonants.

The letters J, P, Q, W, X, and Y of the [[wikipedia:ISO basic Latin alphabet|ISO basic Latin alphabet]] do not occur in the Dwarven alphabet.

===Letter frequency===

This lists the frequency of each letter (and digraph) found in the corpus of Dwarven:

{| class = "wikitable sortable"
! No. !! Letter
! colspan="2"| Frequency
|-
|1 || A || 883 || 8.45%
|-
|2 || À || 14 || 0.13%
|-
|3 || Á || 18 || 0.17%
|-
|4 || Â || 35 || 0.33%
|-
|5 || Ä || 33 || 0.32%
|-
|6 || Å || 31 || 0.30%
|-
|7 || B || 308 || 2.95%
|-
|8 || C || 54 || 0.52%
|-
|9 || D || 425 || 4.07%
|-
|10 || E || 697 || 6.67%
|-
|11 || È || 16 || 0.15%
|-
|12 || É || 14 || 0.13%
|-
|13 || Ê || 29 || 0.28%
|-
|14 || Ë || 30 || 0.29%
|-
|15 || F || 50 || 0.48%
|-
|16 || G || 336 || 3.21%
|-
|17 || I || 690 || 6.60%
|-
|18 || Ì || 16 || 0.15%
|-
|19 || Í || 17 || 0.16%
|-
|20 || Î || 38 || 0.36%
|-
|21 || Ï || 32 || 0.31%
|-
|22 || K || 489 || 4.68%
|-
|23 || L || 650 || 6.22%
|-
|24 || M || 524 || 5.01%
|-
|25 || N || 531 || 5.08%
|-
|26 || NG || 103 || 0.99%
|-
|27 || O || 733 || 7.01%
|-
|28 || Ò || 18 || 0.17%
|-
|29 || Ó || 20 || 0.19%
|-
|30 || Ô || 27 || 0.26%
|-
|31 || Ö || 32 || 0.31%
|-
|32 || R || 664 || 6.35%
|-
|33 || S || 664 || 6.35%
|-
|34 || SH || 295 || 2.82%
|-
|35 || T || 623 || 5.96%
|-
|36 || TH || 318 || 3.04%
|-
|37 || U || 619 || 5.92%
|-
|38 || Ù || 16 || 0.15%
|-
|39 || Ú || 13 || 0.12%
|-
|40 || Û || 30 || 0.29%
|-
|41 || V || 86 || 0.82%
|-
|42 || Z || 232 || 2.22%
|}

==Graphemics==
* [[wikipedia:digraph (orthography)|Digraphs]] ''sh'', ''th'', and ''ng''.
** ''h'' only occurs in the digraphs ''sh'' and ''th''.
* Common consonant cluster ''st''.
* Dwarven has no [[wikipedia:diphthongs|diphthongs]].
* ''c'', ''f'', and ''v'' are always followed by a vowel.
* Possible [[wikipedia: syllable structure|syllable structure]] either (C)2V(C)2 or (C)V(C).
===Diacritic meaning===
The Dwarven language has five diacritics ([[wikipedia:Grave accent|◌̀]], [[wikipedia:Acute accent|◌́]], [[wikipedia:Circumflex|◌̂]], [[wikipedia:Diaeresis (diacritic)|◌̈]], and [[wikipedia:Ring (diacritic)|◌̊]]) used on five vowels (''a'', ''e'', ''i'', ''o'', and ''u''). The ring accent only appears on ''a'' and the diaeresis accent doesn't appear on ''u''.

The use of diacritics in Dwarven could mean that vowels having different pronunciations like in some European languages such as French, German, Swedish, 
or that it's a tonal language that indicate pitch, such as Chinese languages, Thai, Vietnamese, etc. The pronunciation of the diacritics is currently unknown.

{|class="wikitable" style="border-collapse:collapse;"
! Diacritic
! Diacritic name
! Use in other languages
! Probable Tonal meaning
|-
| ◌
| None
| -
| Neutral pitch
|-
| ◌̀
| [[wikipedia:Grave accent|Grave accent]]
| Low pitch, stressed vowels, open vowels, short vowels.
| Low pitch
|-
| ◌́
| [[wikipedia:Acute accent|Acute accent]]
| High pitch, stressed vowels, close vowels, long vowels.
| High pitch
|-
| ◌̂
| [[wikipedia:Circumflex|Circumflex]]
| Used to represent falling pitch or long vowels.
| Falling pitch
|-
| ◌̈
| [[wikipedia:Diaeresis (diacritic)|Diaeresis (diacritic)]]
| Used to show that a vowel should be read separately (like in ''coöperate''). This is certainly not its use in Dwarven, because there are no diphthongs.
| Mid pitch
|-
| ◌̊
| [[wikipedia:Ring (diacritic)|Ring (diacritic)]]
| ''Å'' is a completely separate letter from ''A'' in various Nordic alphabets, and this diacritic is only used on ''a'' in Dwarven...
| Rising pitch 
|}

The coincidence of ''Å'' being a separate letter in the Nordic alphabets and the ring diacritic only being used on A in Dwarven is probably just that, a coincidence. If ''Å'' is distinguished from ''A'' in Dwarven, then it is quite strange that no other accents are ever applied to it.

==Vocabulary==
{{main|Template:Noun dictionary|l1=Noun dictionary|Template:Verb dictionary|l2=Verb dictionary|Template:Adjective dictionary|l3=Adjective dictionary|Template:Prefix dictionary|l4=Prefix dictionary}}

The average word in the Dwarven language is 5.088 letters long. The longest known word is ''ngathsesh'', meaning "puke".

The average word has 1.868 syllables. Words either have one or two syllables.

=== Notes ===
Interestingly, the language lacks words like dwarf (possibly bistök-udos, "hairy man", or duradudos, "bearded man"), human (technically they have ''udos'' ("man")), goblin or elf (though one could use ''dák-enur'' ("tree-hug") for that). However, it is not lacking words for "pearl" (''kovest'') or "pumpkin" (''elbost'') which do not even exist in-universe.

The letter W does not exist elsewhere in the Dwarven language, so it is unlikely that the word "dwarf" is the native moniker of dwarves for themselves. However, "dwarf" might be adopted from the original dwarven word for their own kind, and similarly they might call other races by their respective chosen monikers. "Dwarf" would then be some other language's approximation of the native Dwarven pronunciation, whose correct Dwarvish spelling could purely hypothetically resemble forms such as "dorf" or "dvôrfum".

{{D for Dwarf}}
Although dwarves are capable of creating massive and powerful fortresses, killing unimaginable beasts and demons, wiping out entire civilizations and becoming incredibly buff after hours of constant mining, they all develop a glaring weakness known as [[cave adaptation]] which causes dwarves to puke when exposed to the outdoors. It is because of these thousands of disturbances that the vile substance accelerating out of their guts had been given the <s>stupidly long name</s> incredibly intimidating title of "ngathsesh" due to the countless victims it had affected (including the poor bastards that have to clean the damned mess).

{{gamedata}}
{{Language}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[ru:Dwarven language]]

Bogeyman

2018-10-26T03:02:17Z

Rufflikerex: /* Fighting bogeymen */

{{Quality|Exceptional|21:35, 20 September 2016 (UTC)}}
{{av}}
[[File:Bogeyman Attack.png|thumb|286px|right|A group of bogeymen attacking a hapless adventurer.]]
A '''bogeyman''' {{Tile|ñ|0:1}} is a procedurally generated [[night creature]] which attacks unwary [[adventurer mode|adventurers]] who [[Adventurer mode#Fast Travel|travel]] or [[Adventurer mode#Sleep|sleep]] outside at night alone. Both fast travelling and travelling normally on the local map trigger bogeymen. The bane of many a young adventurer, bogeymen can prove to be deadly foes for the inexperienced and the unprepared.

== Characteristics ==
A number of different types of bogeyman are procedurally generated at every world creation, similar to [[night troll]]s. Their numbers are normally dependent on world size, but can be directly controlled with [[advanced world generation]] - if you prefer not having to deal with bogeymen, generating a world with "{{tt|Number of bogeymen types}}" set to {{tt|0}} in advanced world generation will ensure that no bogeymen exist in your world.

While procedurally generated, bogeymen all possess certain characteristics in common. They are all [[fanciful]], evil-aligned humanoids with either extra or missing features; for example, some bogeymen are generated with wings and thus have the ability to fly, but this doesn't usually affect adventurers unless they too can fly. Others might be generated with appendages such as horns which can be used to gore the bogeyman's prey. All bogeymen are intelligent creatures and reading their description will reveal the bogeyman "hurls vicious insults constantly". While evil, bogeymen are not restricted to evil regions and can appear anywhere.

Bogeymen are by far the smallest of all night creatures (save transformed small creatures), ranging from 10,000 cm³ to 20,000 cm³, making the largest bogeymen only as big as a [[kobold]]. However, this doesn't mean they should be underestimated; all bogeymen possess Expert [[skill]] in [[wrestling]], [[Combat skill|biting, fighting, striking, kicking, dodging]] and [[Observer|observing]], on top of being one of the most agile types of creature in the game, which makes them exceptionally hard to hit. Bogeymen can [[Amphibious|breathe underwater]], [[No Exert|feel no exertion]], [[No Stun|cannot be stunned]] and are [[No Pain|immune to pain]], nausea, dizziness and fevers. Bogeymen need no food, water or sleep to survive, nor do they need to breathe, meaning they cannot be drowned or strangled. Interestingly, their raws also reveal an [[Trapavoid|immunity to traps]], the ability of [[building destroyer|destroying buildings]] and a [[pet]] value of 2,000; due to not existing in [[fortress mode]], bogeymen never get to destroy buildings or interact with [[trap]]s, and they don't possess the necessary tokens to be [[Animal trainer|trained]] even if they did spawn in fortresses.

Bogeymen dissolve into harmless smoke shortly after being killed. Severed body parts can be picked up but they too vaporize quickly. However, it is sometimes possible to keep them if you pick them up and fast-travel away before they start smoking. They can't be animated by [[necromancer]]s.

During a bogeyman attack, the "give up" option in the {{k|Esc}} screen becomes {{DFtext|Give in to the night.|7:1}} Selecting this will end the game immediately. If you end the game in this way, or are otherwise killed by bogeymen, you will be described in [[Legends|Legends mode]] as having {{DFtext|died in the dark.|7:0}}

Some dwarves [[Preferences|like]] bogeymen for their ''terror-inspiring antics''.

== Avoiding bogeymen ==

Fortunately, adventurers are not doomed to face bogeymen every time night falls. In fact, bogeymen can be avoided entirely by:

#Being accompanied by at least one [[Adventure mode#Companions|companion]]. However, if you go to sleep, there is a chance the companions will wander, even if you ask them to wait. 
#Sleeping/waiting the night away inside a shelter (see below). 
#Sleeping/waiting/travelling [[Caverns|underground]] or in the more desolate [[biome|biomes]], such as [[mountain|mountains]], [[desert|deserts]], [[beach|beaches]], [[ocean|oceans]] and [[lake|lakes]].

When you are [[ambush|ambushed]] by bogeymen, you will get the message:
{{gametext|You are surrounded by incessant cackling.|5:1}}
A turn after receiving this message, 4-6 bogeymen will begin spawning around you.

If you try to travel or sleep/wait while at least one of the bogeymen is still alive, you will receive the message:
{{gametext|You are still surrounded by cackling.|5:1}}

Interestingly, bogeymen will be friendly towards creatures with the {{token|NOFEAR}} token. Playing as such a creature will make you totally safe from bogeymen; in the vanilla game, the available creatures with this trait are humanoid arachnid people: the [[bark scorpion man]], the [[brown recluse spider man]], and the [[jumping spider man]]. It doesn't prevent bogeyman encounters, however; sleeping in the wilderness may still result in getting surrounded by cackling, and the bogeymen will still teleport towards you, as well as prevent you from sleeping or travelling.

Bogeymen will ambush [[werebeasts]], and are as unfriendly as anyone else toward them, but will vanish on their own within the game hour.

== Dealing with bogeymen ==
If you're playing as an adventurer with a [[gait|speed]] of over 1000, you may be able to run away from bogeymen. However, there is no escaping the night. No matter where you run, the bogeymen will teleport near you if you ever get too far away. You can get rid of these pesky creatures in three ways:

=== Killing them all ===
The most obvious solution. However it is probably the most difficult one for inexperienced adventurers, and anyone who attempts to do this should be well prepared. Once your adventurer becomes skilled, this will become a trivial task. See the "Fighting bogeymen" section for more information.

=== Surviving until dawn ===
Bogeymen will be [[smoke|vaporized]] by the [[The Sun|morning sun]], so if you can't kill them but are able to run away from them or dodge/block their attacks well, you have another option:keep on doing that until dawn breaks. Unfortunately, this can take quite a while, depending on the time of night you were ambushed.

=== Entering a shelter ===
"Shelter" here refers to (non-ruined) buildings, (inhabited or uninhabited) lairs (including shrines and labyrinths) and [[cave|caves]]. Seeking refuge in such a place will make the bogeymen disappear in a puff of smoke. Incidentally, this is one of the reasons why townspeople encourage you to spend the night in their homes. You can find the nearest shelter by examining the map in your {{k|Q}}uest Log.

Once you succeed in doing one of the above, you'll get the message:
{{gametext|The cackling fades away.|5:1}}
and then you can get back to adventuring.

Note that even if you successfully defeat bogeymen using any of the three methods described above, you can never get rid of them permanently, as they will ambush you again some other night if you do not take precautions.

== Fighting bogeymen ==

Bogeymen are tough because they have very high agility, giving them a high speed and are naturally skilled in unarmed combat and dodging, so their punches hurt and they are difficult to hit. With low weapon skills you'll have a hard time hitting them, but once you can hit them they become very easy to kill. If you know how to fight them effectively, they will go down surprisingly easily. Here are a few tips for fighting them:

*Don't panic. Always know where your towel is. Carefully planned maneuvering is the key to survival.
*Use your [[size]] to your advantage. Bogeymen are surprisingly small relative to the playable races available in unmodded games. Set your combat preference to '''charge''', and you will knock them over every time you strike. This can easily give you the upper hand in battle, as being prone slows bogeymen down and gives you more time to act.
*Wrestling moves will usually work. Bogeymen are so small that they have a hard time breaking wrestling holds from the other races. They do not feel pain so breaking bones will not disable them, but breaking a leg will slow them down.
*Your [[speed]] is an important factor when it comes to fighting bogeymen. Whilst a slow adventurer can be swarmed and killed in seconds, one who is faster than the bogeymen has a distinct advantage.

Remember, prone bogeymen are much slower, so charge at them as often as you can, so you can knock them off their feet. You could also try to sever off feet or legs, as this will make them permanently prone. If you are carrying a lot of heavy objects, it might be a good idea to drop your backpack or, better yet, [[thrower|throw]] the [[weight|heavier]] and/or pointier objects at the bogeymen if they are not too close to you.

If you are really desperate for speed, you might also want to consider dropping your [[armor]] if it is slowing you down too much. Note that, while the extra speed might very well prove vital for your survival, you will also be more exposed to bogeymen attacks and will probably die faster if they manage to attack you and you are not a good [[dodger]]. You might want to consider keeping your helmet-a punch to the head by one of these creatures can easily ram your skull through your brain and end your life.

Despite what your imagination might imply, bogeymen are actually organic creatures. This means that they can be killed by damage to the brain, beheading, bisection (the separation of the lower body from the upper body) and excessive blood loss, and it is also generally easy to sever limbs and break bones. However, like a number of other night creatures, bogeymen do not feel pain and do not breathe, so they do not receive pain-related penalties or die from suffocation. This means that the most effective [[weapon]]s to use against them are edged weapons. With sufficient weapon skill, it is easy to score a hit that will sever a limb or puncture a vital organ such as the heart. Due to their small size, it is also easy to chop off the head or the lower body, killing the bogeyman instantly.

*Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to get surrounded. If a group a bogeymen are approaching you from one direction, move in the opposite direction. This generally leads to them approaching you in a line rather than a group, as the fastest bogeyman reaches you first. Thus you can fight them one at time if you are fast enough.
*Don't let bogeymen get the initiative. If you let the bogeyman attack you their skilled punches will likely break a bone and you'll be dead. So you should charge at one, attack it and run away before it has the chance to strike back.
*If the odds are against you, don't hesitate to flee. Remember that you don't need to kill bogeymen to get rid of them - you just have to survive the night or enter a shelter. Thus you should try to run in the direction of the nearest town, fortress, cave or lair. If you have a high enough speed, running away should actually be quite easy, as the bogeymen won't be able to catch up with you despite their constant teleportation. If a bogeyman manages to get too close to you, charge at it to knock it over and slow it down, and then continue running.
*Above all, remember that [[Losing|losing is fun]]!

{| {{listboxformat|class=gamedata}}
!colspan="2" style="border: 1px solid #72A329; font-weight:bold; background-color: #bd8; padding-left: 1em; padding-right: 1em; width:100%; display:table-cell" | Example raws (as extracted from world.dat)
|- style="text-align: left; display:table-cell; "
| <div style="overflow:auto; max-width:800px">[OBJECT:CREATURE]

[CREATURE:NIGHT_CREATURE_19]
[NAME:bogeyman:bogeymen:bogeyman]
[CASTE_NAME:bogeyman:bogeymen:bogeyman]
[GENERATED]
[ATTACK_TRIGGER:20:0:0]
[NIGHT_CREATURE_BOGEYMAN]
[NATURAL_SKILL:WRESTLING:9]
[NATURAL_SKILL:BITE:9]
[NATURAL_SKILL:MELEE_COMBAT:9]
[NATURAL_SKILL:GRASP_STRIKE:9]
[NATURAL_SKILL:STANCE_STRIKE:9]
[NATURAL_SKILL:DODGING:9]
[NATURAL_SKILL:SITUATIONAL_AWARENESS:9]
[CAN_LEARN]
[CAN_SPEAK]
[NO_GENDER]
[CLUSTER_NUMBER:4:6]
[PHYS_ATT_RANGE:STRENGTH:450:1050:1150:1250:1350:1550:2250]
[PHYS_ATT_RANGE:TOUGHNESS:450:1050:1150:1250:1350:1550:2250]
[PHYS_ATT_RANGE:ENDURANCE:450:1050:1150:1250:1350:1550:2250]
[PHYS_ATT_RANGE:RECUPERATION:450:1050:1150:1250:1350:1550:2250]
[PHYS_ATT_RANGE:DISEASE_RESISTANCE:700:1300:1400:1500:1600:1800:2500]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:ANALYTICAL_ABILITY:1250:1500:1750:2000:2500:3000:5000]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:FOCUS:1250:1500:1750:2000:2500:3000:5000]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:WILLPOWER:1250:1500:1750:2000:2500:3000:5000]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:PATIENCE:0:333:666:1000:2333:3666:5000]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:MEMORY:1250:1500:1750:2000:2500:3000:5000]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:LINGUISTIC_ABILITY:450:1050:1150:1250:1350:1550:2250]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:MUSICALITY:0:333:666:1000:2333:3666:5000]
[MENT_ATT_RANGE:SOCIAL_AWARENESS:700:1300:1400:1500:1600:1800:2500]
[PERSONALITY:ANXIETY_PROPENSITY:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:DEPRESSION_PROPENSITY:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:BASHFUL:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:STRESS_VULNERABILITY:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:FRIENDLINESS:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:ASSERTIVENESS:100:100:100]
[PERSONALITY:DISDAIN_ADVICE:100:100:100]
[PERSONALITY:CHEER_PROPENSITY:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:GRATITUDE:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:TRUST:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:ALTRUISM:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:SWAYED_BY_EMOTIONS:0:0:0]
[PERSONALITY:CRUELTY:100:100:100]
[PERSONALITY:HUMOR:100:100:100]
[NO_DRINK]
[NO_EAT]
[NO_SLEEP]
[BODY_APPEARANCE_MODIFIER:HEIGHT:90:95:98:100:102:105:110]
[BODY_APPEARANCE_MODIFIER:BROADNESS:90:95:98:100:102:105:110]
[LARGE_PREDATOR]
[EVIL]
[SUPERNATURAL]
[FANCIFUL]
[AMPHIBIOUS]
[PETVALUE:2000]
[GRASSTRAMPLE:20]
[BUILDINGDESTROYER:2]
[ALL_ACTIVE]
[SWIMS_INNATE]
[TRAPAVOID]
[NOPAIN]
[NOSTUN]
[NONAUSEA]
[NOFEAR]
[NOEXERT]
[NO_DIZZINESS]
[NO_FEVERS]
[LARGE_PREDATOR]
[SPHERE:MISERY]
[SPHERE:NIGHT]
[BODY_SIZE:0:0:12000]
[CREATURE_TILE:164]
[BODY:RCP_UPPER_BODY:RCP_LOWER_BODY:RCP_NECK:RCP_HEAD:RCP_TWO_PART_ARMS:RCP_TWO_PART_LEGS:RCP_2_HEAD_HORNS:RCP_1_EYE:RCP_LUNGS:RCP_HEART:RCP_GUTS:RCP_THROAT:RCP_SPINE:RCP_UPPER_SPINE:RCP_BRAIN:RCP:SKULL:RCP_MOUTH:RCP_TONGUE:RCP_RIBS:RCP_1_EYELID]
[CANOPENDOORS]
[EQUIPS]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:STANDARD_MATERIALS]
[REMOVE_MATERIAL:HAIR]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:STANDARD_TISSUES]
[REMOVE_TISSUE:HAIR]
[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:HORN:HORN_TEMPLATE]
[USE_TISSUE_TEMPLATE:HORN:HORN_TEMPLATE]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:VERTEBRATE_TISSUE_LAYERS:SKIN:FAT:MUSCLE:BONE:CARTILAGE]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:STANDARD_HEAD_POSITIONS]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:HUMANOID_HEAD_POSITIONS]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:HUMANOID_RIBCAGE_POSITIONS]
[BODY_DETAIL_PLAN:HUMANOID_RELSIZES]
[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:SINEW:SINEW_TEMPLATE]
[TENDRONS:LOCAL_CREATURE_MAT:SINEW:200]
[LIGAMENTS:LOCAL_CREATURE_MAT:SINEW:200]
[HAS_NERVES]
[NOBREATHE]
[HOMEOTERM:10040]
[SELECT_MATERIAL:SKIN]
[STATE_COLOR:ALL_SOLID:SLATE_GRAY]
[NO_UNIT_TYPE_COLOR]
[COLOR:0:0:1]
[SELECT_TISSUE_LAYER:HEART:BY_CATEGORY:HEART]
[PLUS_TISSUE_LAYER:SKIN:BY_CATEGORY:THROAT]
[TL_MAJOR_ARTERIES]
[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:BLOOD:BLOOD_TEMPLATE]
[BLOOD:LOCAL_CREATURE_MAT:BLOOD:LIQUID]
[ATTACK:PUNCH:BODYPART:BY_TYPE:GRASP]
[ATTACK_SKILL:GRASP_STRIKE]
[ATTACK_VERB:punch:punches]
[ATTACK_CONTACT_PERC:100]
[ATTACK_PREPARE_AND_RECOVER:2:2]
[ATTACK_FLAG_WITH]
[ATTACK_PRIORITY:MAIN]
[ATTACK:KICK:BODYPART:BY_TYPE:STANCE]
[ATTACK_SKILL:STANCE_STRIKE]
[ATTACK_VERB:kick:kicks]
[ATTACK_CONTACT_PERC:100]
[ATTACK_PREPARE_AND_RECOVER:2:2]
[ATTACK_FLAG_WITH]
[ATTACK_PRIORITY:MAIN]
[ATTACK_FLAG_BAD_MULTIATTACK]
[ATTACK:HORN:BODYPART:BY_CATEGORY:HORN]
[ATTACK_SKILL:BITE]
[ATTACK_VERB:gore:gores]
[ATTACK_CONTACT_PERC:5]
[ATTACK_PENETRATION_PERC:100]
[ATTACK_PREPARE_AND_RECOVER:2:2]
[ATTACK_FLAG_EDGE]
[ATTACK_PRIORITY:MAIN]
[ATTACK:BITE:BODYPART:BY_CATEGORY:MOUTH]
[ATTACK_SKILL:BITE]
[ATTACK_VERB:bite:bites]
[ATTACK_CONTACT_PERC:100]
[ATTACK_PREPARE_AND_RECOVER:2:2]
[ATTACK_FLAG_WITH]
[ATTACK_PRIORITY:MAIN]
[ATTACK_FLAG_CANLATCH]
[GAIT:SWIM:Maximum Swim Speed:725:10:3:2175:50:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:50]
[GAIT:SWIM:Faster Swim:1450:5:3:2175:10:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:20]
[GAIT:SWIM:Fast Swim:2175:NO_BUILD_UP:5:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:10]
[GAIT:SWIM:Swim:2900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:SWIM:Slow Swim:3900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:SWIM:Creeping Swim:5900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:WALK:Sprint:225:10:3:675:50:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:50]
[GAIT:WALK:Run:450:5:3:675:10:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:20]
[GAIT:WALK:Jog:900:NO_BUILD_UP:5:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:10]
[GAIT:WALK:Walk:800:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:WALK:Stroll:1900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:WALK:Creep:2900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:CRAWL:Scramble:225:10:3:675:50:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:50]
[GAIT:CRAWL:Faster Crawl:450:5:3:675:10:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:20]
[GAIT:CRAWL:Fast Crawl:675:NO_BUILD_UP:5:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:10]
[GAIT:CRAWL:Crawl:900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:CRAWL:Slow Crawl:1900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:CRAWL:Creep:2900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:CLIMB:Scramble:225:10:3:675:50:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:50]
[GAIT:CLIMB:Faster Climb:450:5:3:675:10:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:20]
[GAIT:CLIMB:Fast Climb:675:NO_BUILD_UP:5:LAYERS_SLOW:STRENGTH:AGILITY:STEALTH_SLOWS:10]
[GAIT:CLIMB:Climb:900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:CLIMB:Slow Climb:1900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[GAIT:CLIMB:Creep:2900:NO_BUILD_UP:0]
[DESCRIPTION:A small one-eyed humanoid. It has two broad horns and it hurls vicious insults constantly. Its slate gray skin is sleek and smooth. Now you will know why you fear the night.]
[PREFSTRING:terror-inspiring antics]
|-
|}

{{Creatures}}
{{Category|Amphibious}}
{{Category|Building destroyer}}
{{Category|Fanciful}}
{{Category|Learns}}
{{Category|No Exert}}
{{Category|No Pain}}
{{Category|No Stun}}
{{Category|Trapavoid}}
[[ru:Bogeyman]]

Health care

2018-10-24T00:07:22Z

Rufflikerex: /* Bugs */

{{Quality|Exceptional|07:35, 17 May 2015 (UTC)}}
{{av}}
{{buggy|bugsection=Bugs}}

A '''hospital''' is a [[Activity zone#Hospital|zone]] designated via the [[Activity zone|zone menu]]. Hospitals use any beds, tables, [[traction bench]]es, and coffers/bags that have been built within the zone. The hospital will requisition [[thread]], [[cloth]], [[splint]]s, [[crutch]]es, [[Gypsum plaster|plaster powder]] (for casts), [[bucket]]s, and [[soap]] for medical use. These will be stored within the hospital's coffers/bags; you may adjust the desired quantities.

'''Doctors''' are dwarves assigned to any of the five medical labors: [[wound dresser|dressing wounds]], [[diagnostician|diagnosis]], [[surgeon|surgery]], [[bone doctor|setting bones]], and [[suturer|suturing]]. All doctors in the fortress operate under the instruction of the [[Chief medical dwarf]], an appointed [[noble]]. Doctors perform medicine on a dwarf only after treatment has been prescribed by a diagnostician. Doctors do not perform any healthcare on animals, despite injured animals "requesting" diagnosis in the [[Health screen|z-health screen]].

All beds within a hospital zone are automatically hospital beds, where injured dwarves will go (or be brought) to recuperate. Tired healthy dwarves will occasionally camp there too if the hospital is close, even if they have their own bed.

==Setting up a Hospital==
* Hit {{k|i}} and set up a hospital [[zone]] in the area you plan on having your hospital. Be sure "Hospital" is highlighted. Proximity to [[water]] is a plus, since patients need to be washed and cannot drink alcohol.
* Place enough [[bed]]s in that zone to ensure you can keep all wounded dwarves in the hospital. Note that normal beds or [[bedroom]]s can and will accept wounded dwarves whether or not a hospital zone exists, though hospital beds will be preferred if they are free. Doctors do not need a hospital zone, though a lack of equipment will probably limit care options.
* Build [[container]]s ({{k|b}}-{{k|h}}) to store hospital supplies. A small hospital can manage with 2 containers, while a fully fledged fortress with an adventurous military may need as many as 8. (Containers are not strictly necessary; doctors can and will use supplies from anywhere. But dedicated hospital containers allow you to earmark some supplies for medical use - for example, to prevent the auto-looming of ''every'' last thread.)
* Build at least one [[table]] ({{k|b}}-{{k|t}}) for surgeons to perform surgery on. You may perform surgery without tables; it will be more messy.
** Multiple dwarves may undergo simultaneous surgeries on the same table.
* Build one or more [[traction bench]]es ({{k|b}}-{{k|R}}) to handle compound fractures when the dwarf requires "immobilization."
** Each traction bench can only accommodate one dwarf at a time, and the dwarf may be there for quite some time, so plan accordingly.
* Stockpiles are not needed but can be used instead of chests and bags in the hospital zone.
* Assign a [[chief medical dwarf]] (in the [[noble]]s screen) to enable the fortress-wide [[health screen]] as well as invidual dwarves' health summary screens ({{k|v}}-{{k|z}}-{{k|h}}).
* Pick one or more dwarves to be doctors, and enable the health labor(s) on them (through {{k|v}}-{{k|p}}-{{k|l}}). Be sure the diagnosis labor is well covered. Without a diagnosis, patients cannot be treated. If they cannot be treated, they will occupy the hospital area until they die, performing no function. (Any dwarf with the Diagnosis labor enabled can diagnose dwarves, but the Chief Medical Dwarf may impact the diagnosis job creation{{verify}}. Once a patient is diagnosed, you can see on the individual health screen what procedures are needed, for example washing or suturing.)
* If you use a [[burrow]] to keep doctors near the hospital zone, ensure that this burrow covers all needed materials or you could get job cancellations because of lack of material. Thread/cloth stockpiles, and items bought from caravans (e.g. plaster early in the game) are often the most troubling.

== Skills and Injuries==
'''Doctors''' have 5 specialized skills and 2 support healthcare labors.

[[Diagnostician]] -- [[Surgeon]] -- [[Suturer]] -- [[Wound dresser]] -- [[Bone doctor]] -- Feed patients/prisoners -- [[Labor|Recovering wounded]]

Those with the '''recover wounded''' labor will attempt to bring a wounded dwarf to the hospital zone, or, lacking one, to the nearest unoccupied bed. Note that recovering wounded appears to be an extremely low priority task. Since immobile patients will need to be carried to a hospital before diagnosis, it may be necessary to temporarily disable all other labors on another dwarf to move them first.

A '''diagnoser''' will then identify and prescribe a treatment which any doctor (including himself) may carry out. A dwarf cannot be treated without a diagnosis. Depending on the injury a treatment labor will occur. Diagnosis is often required between procedures as well.

[[Wound|Injuries]]
:{| border=0 cellpadding=0 cellspacing=1 style="background: black"
|-
| '''NONE: No recorded active wounds on the part.'''
|-
| '''MINOR: Any damage that doesn't have functional/structural consequences (might be heavy bleeding, though).'''
|-
| '''INHIBITED: Any muscular, structural, or functional damage, without total loss.'''
|-
| '''FUNCTION LOSS: An important function of the part is completely lost, but the part is structurally sound (or, at least partially intact). '''
|-
| '''BROKEN: The part has lost all structural integrity or muscular ability.'''
|-
| '''MISSING: The part is completely gone. '''
|}
If a chief medical dwarf is appointed, you can view your fortress' health using the {{k|z}}-status key), or individually by selecting a dwarf and using {{k|w}} for wounds section.
* '''Bones''' can be set and treated by bone doctors depending on severity using thread and cloth for fractures, splints and casts, or traction benches. Grasping is often impaired during healing. The {{DFtext|Immobilization Request}} status tag is an indication that a splint or plaster cast is required. Multiple overlapping and compound fractures require a surgeon. Caused by [[attack_types#Blunt_weapons|blunt]] trauma.
*'''Skin and muscle''' can be treated by a suturer using thread and cloth. The wound will continue to bleed until sutured, severe wounds impair grasping during healing. Closed wounds will be dressed by a wound dresser. Caused by [[attack_types#Edged_weapons|slashing]] injuries.
*'''Internal Organs''' can be treated or removed by a surgeon using tables and traction benches. Repair of infected or rotten wounds is treated similarly. Caused by [[attack_types#Piercing_weapons|piercing]] injuries.

Any dwarves with the Feed patients/prisoners labor will attempt to give food or a bucket of water to a hungry or thirsty patient. By default, all dwarves start with the non-doctor labors designated. These have no corresponding [[skill]]s - they do not cause experience gain, but merely are activities that can be turned on/off for each dwarf.

==Infection==
Every open wound can become infected. Infections may heal over time; however, many dwarves will die due to infection, often months after the actual wounding.

Causes of infection include:
* No cleaning of the wounds.
* Cleaning with water from a [[Water#Stagnant_Water|stagnant water]] source.
* Cleaning with [[Water#Water_laced_with_mud|water laced with mud]]. {{Verify}}
* Cleaning without [[soap]].
* Bad luck

== Equipment ==
=== Traction Benches ===

A '''traction bench''' is used by a [[bone doctor]] in a [[Hospital|hospital zone]] to immobilize a dwarf that has sustained complex or overlapping fractures.

It is constructed in the [[Mechanic's workshop]], and requires a [[table]], a [[mechanism]], and a [[rope]] or a [[chain]] to construct. The [[quality]] of each component is not reflected in the quality of the traction bench, and only the [[material]] of the table is used as the material for the bench. "Recycling" low-quality, low-value components into high-quality traction benches can provide a modest increase in [[value]]. Note that if any [[Stockpile|stockpiles]] have been linked to "Give" to the workshop, all of the resources needed to construct the traction bench must be found in the linked piles (e.g., linking only a stone stockpile may prevent access to the necessary tables/ropes/chains).

=== Casts ===

Casts are made out of [[Gypsum plaster|plaster powder]] and are used to keep broken bones in their proper place until healed. To store it in a hospital, build a chest or other container inside the hospital zone. Applying a cast also requires a bucket and cloth, and a water source.

Plaster powder is produced at a [[kiln]] or [[magma kiln]] from [[gypsum]], [[alabaster]], [[selenite]], or [[satinspar]] and an empty [[bag]] by a dwarf with the furnace operator skill enabled. They can also be bought at embark for 3 points per unit; each unit comes with a free bag.

=== Splints ===
Splints immobilize limbs that have sustained bone fractures. They allow the broken limb to be utilized until it is fully healed. Dwarves will be able to leave the hospital and resume their normal duties once securely splinted up since by this stage their wounds have already been cleaned, sutured and dressed. Applied by a bone doctor.

They can be made out of one [[wood]] at the [[carpenter's workshop]] or out of one metal [[bar]] at the [[metalsmith's forge]] or the [[magma forge]]. Splints seem to be an effective alternative to plaster casts, and are easier to obtain and prepare. Splints are categorized as [[finished goods]].

=== Other equipment===
*[[Crutch]]es {{DFtext|┬|770}} help a crippled dwarf walk again.
*[[Table]]s are used to conduct operations on.
*[[Bed]]s are used by patients to rest.
*[[Thread]] is used to suture closed wounds.
*[[Cloth]] is used to clean wounds, wash patients and dress wounds.
*[[Soap]] is used to clean wounds, sterilizing and preventing infection.
*[[Water]] is used to clean wounds, bathe patients and give drink. Patients do not drink alcohol.
*[[Bucket]]s are used to gather and hold the water for its uses.
*[[Container]]s are used to store hospital supplies.

==Tips for an Effective Hospital==
* Regularly use ({{k|i}}-{{k|H}}) to examine your hospital stockpile. Ensure your hospital is well-stocked. If you run out of materials regularly, increase the limits.
** Note that the quantities listed in the "Set Hospital Information" screen are different than those used in stockpiles.
*** 1 stockpile unit of thread = 15000 in the hospital
*** 1 cloth = 10000
*** 1 soap = 150
*** 1 gypsum powder = 150
* It is possible to do without soap in the hospital stockpile. Choosing to do so, however, increases the risk of infection, which most likely will kill your dwarf. Consult the [[soap]] page to understand that industry. Bring 1 lye on embark for one bar of soap, which translates to 150 units.
* Put a [[well]] inside (or near) the hospital for maximum efficiency. Doctors need to wash patients regularly, and clean water reduces infection.
* Do not place chairs next to your surgery tables. A chair is an invitation for rat-roast eating freeloaders to block the medical process.
* Consider making use of [[burrow]]s to ensure your healthcare workers stay in the area.
* You may wish to consider individual rooms for each bed if you find your doctors are choosing to treat Urist McPaperCut over Urist McBloodFountainTheGushing. A locked door minimizes the mess and thereby infection and allows you to prioritize.
* The Chief Medical Dwarf only enables the Health status screen. The position has no in-game use. Look after your CMDs if you rely heavily on this screen, but otherwise they can be treated as any other dwarf.
** Diagnosis skill level does not affect the diagnosis, only the time it takes for the diagnosis to happen. Embarking with a dwarf skilled in diagnosis (and other medical skills) is helpful, both to speed diagnosis and to stave off skill rust when long periods of time go between injuries.
** Also helpful is enabling medical skills on all dwarves in the fortress, which allows medical jobs to be picked up immediately so long as there is an idle dwarf.
* Create "nurses" by setting dwarves to only use the Recover wounded, Give food and Give water labors.
** It is important not to distract doctors from treating patients (or other medical helpers such as crutch haulers, or wounded recoverers).
** "Recover wounded", "Give food" and "Give water" are low priority jobs, so it is entirely possible for a patient to starve to death, dehydrate to death, or bleed to death if no one ever gets "unbusy" enough to bring them food or water, or move them to the hospital.
** Similarly, it is important not to put your doctors at risk by recovering wounded in the middle of a battle—if they become injured, they cannot treat themselves.
* You can select nurses who enjoy helping people to give them good thoughts. This also prevents dwarves that hate bringing others food from receiving unhappy thoughts.
* If you use Dwarf Therapist, try to select strong or large sized dwarves to recover wounded. Weak dwarves slowly inching back to the hospital from a hostile area with a dying patient can result in [[fun]].
* When a serious injury happens, don't exit (or save) the game until the injured are in the hospital zone, especially if a dwarf is immobile. "Bring crutch" and "Recover Wounded" jobs will be lost, keeping the patient away from the hospital, and doctors will NOT go to patients, even if burrowed with them, because a diagnose job hasn't been created. Sometimes a second "crutch required" or "recover wounded" request will be generated, but often too late for the patient's full recovery. Best bet is ensure someone (not burrowed) has "recover wounded" enabled at all times; burrow doctors doing non-medical tasks immediately; hope the patient makes it to the hospital.
* Long-term residents will seek medical care if injured. This includes non-dwarves. Doctors will treat them the same as dwarves and the different physiology doesn't seem to be an issue.
* Set the hospital zone to inactive and forbid everything in it when you don't have any real medical issues. Doing this will prevent adamantine thread and cloth from being stored. It will also prevent dwarves who have no real injuries from useless resting there (harmless evil weather syndromes can result in this, medics will cancel diagnose patient due to "not resting" because the resting phase usually ends very fast).
* You may want to disable the hospital if your dwarves are doing something physically dangerous like engaging in battle with a goblin army. Dwarves will go into "resting mode" at the slightest injury and "wait" to be recovered, being promptly struck down. They will continue to fight until they actually pass out from pain or exhaustion with the hospital temporarily disabled. You can enable the hospital once all hostiles have been dealt with.

Dwarves will prefer to store and use the most expensive thread and cloth. Yes, that includes special "[[raw adamantine|exotic]]" strands. You may want to forbid these during medical emergencies.

==Bugs==
* For a variety of reasons, an injured dwarf may leave the hospital and/or refuse to go to the hospital. {{Bug|309}}
* Wounded dwarves are not always recovered properly. {{bug|94}} Re-injuring the dwarf (with a [[minecart]] collision, dropped item, etc.) may trigger proper recovery.
* Adamantine thread used for suturing. {{Bug|1346}}
* The quality and value of a finished traction bench doesn't account for all of the inputs used to make it. {{verify}}
* Dwarves resting in bed may be starving/dehydrated and not being taken care of, deconstructing the bed to generate a new Recover Wounded task and force them to rest properly fixes this.

{{d for dwarf}}
Soap is the only item dwarves will use to sterilize a wound. While dwarves are of course aware that humans will pour perfectly quaffable alcohol over their bloody wounds and onto the filthy ground to get the same effect, dwarves understand that some things are more precious than a single life, and face oblivion with a bit more dignity. Application of extreme heat is also well known to prevent infections and seal a wound, but dwarves consider magma the only legitimate heat source, and the non-lethal application of magma as a sacrilege.

{{Category|Healthcare}}
{{Industry}}
[[ru:Health care]]