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− | <!-- ADD QUOTES AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS LIST, NOT HERE --> | + | <!--ADD QUOTES AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS LIST, NOT HERE--> |
<noinclude> | <noinclude> | ||
− | To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line | + | |
+ | {{D for Dwarf}} | ||
+ | |||
+ | This is the list of quotes which appear at the top of the wiki's [[Main Page]]. Many of them are musings from the developer notes, while others are forum posts made by ''DF'' players or simply anonymous game-related statements. Feel free to add any quotes you find particularly amusing or interesting. | ||
+ | |||
+ | To add a quote to this list, place it on its own line above the last line. | ||
#{{#rreplace:</noinclude> | #{{#rreplace:</noinclude> | ||
+ | "Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..."<br> — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "[B]oats are the enemy of [[tile]]s. And [[tile]]s are the enemy of boats."<br> — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example."<br> — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "Got rid of world gen crash during succession after [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdQ3JDLlmPI death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants]" — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "Sieging humans brought some war [[polar bear]]s, and one of them started a camp fire. [[Animal trainer|Highly trained]]!" — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might [[Entity token#TISSUE_STYLE|sh... shave]]."<br> — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold [[Creature token#BLOOD|blood]]." — [[Toady One|Toady the Great One]] | ||
+ | There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I also got started on [[Jump|jumping]]. My first jump was off by a factor of 100, so I flew against a cliff and blew apart. I'm still working on it. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The king of my dwarves appointed a visiting merchant's yak as the general of the army while I was trading. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Most of yesterday I spent trying to be robbed by bandits, but they kept looking away from me and forgetting I was there. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Today's success was to have a crying mother spit on me and call me a murderer. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Stopped dwarves from trying to clean their own missing or internal body parts. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Stopped zombies from interrupting your sleep to ask if they can help you with something. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "Stopped aerial births." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I had a dwarven hero try to kill a bronze colossus seven times, and each time he lost.... After the third duel, he began worshipping his enemy. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I also grabbed somebody's exposed guts and did the only thing you can do with them currently, which is pinch them. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The dabbling surgeon moved between repairing the compound fracture and trying to stop bleeding from malpractice. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The poor thing died with the message "[[Temperature|<name> has condensed.]]" — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | In addition, Atheli devoured three cows, four horses, five mules, a donkey, six dogs, two cats, and a rhesus macaque and fox while tormenting the elves. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The [[titan]] was given a position in their pantheon, though it would still show up every few years to kick down somebody's house. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Large animals can put an unskilled [[gelder]] in the hospital. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I have my little invisible [[Labor|help-wanted ads]] for [the dwarves] to look through now, followed by a little invisible pick-best-applicants procedure. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | It seems I've just delivered you into the arms of crashing and despair. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | [[Scamps]] added two lines of code today. They didn't compile. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The crash happened when the night creature tried to come up with things to say to potential shoppers. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Stopped cats from dying of alcohol poisoning [https://dwarffortressbugtracker.com/view.php?id=9195 after walking over damp tavern floors and cleaning themselves.] — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I filled my fortress's [[temple]] with [[statue]]s and tantruming dwarves to test out the desecration code. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | These [[Agent|secret agents]] are overdoing it...<br>"What can you tell me about yourself?"<br>"Me? Who's that? I don't know myself."<br> — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | There's a cost to this [[Magic|movement]], and the cost is, 'how much do I value my blood? — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | It's still a shock. People are playing a [[Tileset|text game]]. That's weird. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | An impressionable child, she inherited the goblin ethics of [[Personality traits, values, and dreams#Values|valuing]] power over others and her personal dream is to take over the world. I'm sure it'll be fine. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I've got a fort that has an export industry centered entirely around little commemorative [[dacite]] figurines of the starting seven dwarves in different poses. Eventually we'll have to make the merchants more discerning — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "If a sieging army wants to talk, there's an initial petition to arrange a parley, which is not delivered physically — they hang back outside in relative safety, since you people have a [[Stupid dwarf trick|tendency]] to drop [[magma]] on things." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | My imprisoned expedition leader just walked home while still considered a prisoner due to some erroneous travel code exclusive to position holders. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | If your vision of dwarves is less about crafting in the mountains, and more about a lone dwarf descending from the hills to attack a village with a pack of a dozen hounds, your vision is now a reality. That's how I tested it, anyway. Five of the dogs were struck down, but the humans will now think twice about whatever it was they were thinking about, that's for sure. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Uzol had orders, though, and he followed them to the letter. He broke into the temple and brought me back the relic... now I guess I have a save if I want to test being invaded by angry humans. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | "...go to reclaim artifacts that were either stolen by kobolds or something, or maybe weren't yours to begin with, and you can be bad dwarves. Start some shit." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Some uncommon situations have become hard to debug with a test adventurer, so world debug mode can now manifest the cursor as an adventurer. Lots of "Hello. My name is Manifestation. Why are you traveling?" today. They don't notice the cursor human is clothing-free yet. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I used my debug power to manifest as the Manifestation, holding the quest crossbow, which I immediately handed over. When I asked the quester about it, he said "An unknown creature has given an unknown creature <correct artifact name>. I don't care one way or another." — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Animals no longer become distracted from being unable to drink if they've experienced trauma, or from being unable to worship gods they shouldn't have been worshiping in the first place... — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Dropping a boulder on somebody and then leaving my dwarves unattended outside with nothing to do for a year resulted in tantrums, depression and oblivious wandering, so it seems to be working (...) I wasn't aware of their relationship status when the boulder fell; that's just how it turned out, sadly. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Goblins are [[Immortality|meant to die]] violent deaths. — [[Toady One]]<sup>[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=1104.msg14899#msg14899]</sup> | ||
+ | I have some good saves I can look at and so forth, so hopefully I can pick some decent numbers if they are a problem, and if the numbers are fine, focus just on the ridiculous "scary teeth" part of it. Although I guess teeth are scary sometimes, but it takes like a whole horror movie to build up to why, and these are just random troll teeth. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Insurrections were such a problem in sites that I had to turn them off for your fortress's holdings; we'll get back to that later. It wasn't even the insurrections, really; the dwarves were bailing on the occupation immediately because they were afraid of insurrections. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | After producing three notable poems, Zicab was murdered by a goblin armorer in the pits (who was later devoured by a giant lion, so that has a happy ending.) — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Artuk soon gave up on fighting, and became a poet like her father and grandmother, moving again to the goblin pits, where apparently all poetry in this world is written. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | For instance, a human trading company called the Present Hall was wildly successful trading various leathers and bones for crafting, and eventually had enough clout to open a branch warehouse inside a dwarf fortress for the first time. Can't resist that [[draltha]] leather. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | This turned out to be a strategic error, as two short years later, a forgotten beast obliterated the fortress, the warehouse, and killed everyone inside. So, what's the correct response? Close the destroyed branch? No, no, you stimulate the (non-existent) economy by hiring local. Forgotten beast, you're the new (ruined) warehouse administrator, congratulations! — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I've mainly been 'consolidating gains' this week (that is, finding horrible bugs and wondering how anything worked in the first place.) — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | He was imprisoned in a dwarf fortress for 20 years. He might have escaped, but a hydra came and ate him and everybody else. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I did have to fix a bug where the human and dwarven allies also ate the dead if the elves led the attack. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I'm not actually sure why he didn't try to start a zombie horde of his own instead, but this is okay. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Necromancers can pet their zombie animals too, and the living can try too if they are foolish. Hmm, I think a necromancer might also be able to pet their zombie humanoids, due to how it does the detection. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I went to a shrine, rolled a tin icosahedral die and it was a bad roll and I was cursed to be a snowy owl for a week. So I flew up to a nearby rooftop and pondered tangents. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | I intentionally accepted a petition to establish a temple for the ten worshippers from the Cult of Cats, and then ignored it for an entire year. The game announced that the agreement had been abandoned, and one of my fisherdwarves that belonged to the religion cancelled their job in dismay. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Now-corrected highlights include the game getting confused about who owned the tomb after a mummy came back from the dead, leading to the mummy's zombies sieging themselves, and two dwarven spies diligently maintaining their enemy cover identities even when they came to live in the player's fort, confusing the local soldiers and starting civil wars. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Fixed crash involving stressed out wilderness creatures wanting to complain to priests. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Ha ha, {{token|MAJOR_CURSE|interaction}} occurs 13 times in the code, and was the first usage hint added. MAJOR_BLESSING does not occur. Poor dwarves. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | There was a [[23a:Magic#Remnants|brief moment]] in DF history where armor had hair, swords whistled and elf arrows exploded wooden spikes inside of people. Someday we'll get back [[Magic|there]]. It's scheduled! — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | [[Giant rat]]s are classic beings, of course. We also have [[large rat]]s since it felt like there needed to be extra size gradations for ratdom. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | The [[platypus]] has poisonous spurs, as in real life, which can cause painful swelling. Perhaps your fortress would benefit by allowing a [[Playtypus man|platypus person]] adventurer to become a resident [[monster slayer]]? — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | Generally, the large monsters should be able to do larger things. Just squishing entire bodies, or even groups of dwarves all at once. Squish. — [[Toady One]] | ||
+ | ”He he he. Yeah, it almost looks done... alas... those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties... those in your twenties, your thirties... others, cling to life as you are able... It should be pretty fun though.” — [[Tarn Adams]], [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=2525.msg40940#msg40940 2004] | ||
+ | The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. — [[ThreeToe]] | ||
+ | If I had to pick a bird to apply to this situation, it wouldn’t be the phoenix, because nothing exploded. — [[ThreeToe]][http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=179293] | ||
+ | Everything is beginning to coalesce, to congeal, to coagulate. All that's left is the detritus that is required to bring us to the starting line, waiting for the crack of the pistol. What does that mean? It means that I took a creative writing class in college. — [[ThreeToe]] [http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/#2022-07-15] | ||
I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny. | I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny. | ||
Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]! | Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] [[Dwarf Fortress|construction]]! | ||
− | Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, | + | Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!" |
[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength! | [[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength! | ||
− | [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] | + | [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] — I had no idea elephants could bounce that high! |
[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer! | [[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer! | ||
The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf? | The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf? | ||
− | "Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess." | + | "''Dwarf Fortress''" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess." |
− | Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]]. | + | ''Dwarf Fortress'' has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]]. |
[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons. | [[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons. | ||
− | My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods. | + | My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just [[Mandate|mandated]] the construction of some goods. |
− | I can just imagine a wagon throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people. | + | I can just imagine a [[wagon]] throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people. |
Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal. | Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal. | ||
Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong! | Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong! | ||
The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me... | The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me... | ||
Wait, you're MAKING animals?<br>—''Torak''<br>At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows.<br>—''Spiders Everywhere'' | Wait, you're MAKING animals?<br>—''Torak''<br>At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows.<br>—''Spiders Everywhere'' | ||
− | + | (Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter.<br> — Sowelu<br>Very fitting to dwarves, I must add.<br> — Sean Mirrsen | |
− | (Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter.<br> | + | [[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.<br> — AlienChickenPie |
− | [[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.<br> | + | "You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!"<br> — [[User:Savok|Savok]] |
− | |||
− | |||
− | "You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!"<br> | ||
"What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred." | "What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred." | ||
− | Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds | + | Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds — Shandrunn |
− | + | {{token|FIREIMMUNE|c}} makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them [[Fire-safe|fireproof]]. This can lead to some rather interesting results. | |
− | + | Endok Cerolneth has [[Strange mood|begun a mysterious construction]]!<br>Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl. | |
− | Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!<br>Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl. | + | "Incendia sunt socia vestra, [[Armok|armaque]] vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your [[Armok|weapon]], the strength of the Mountain-Home." — Eita |
− | "Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." | + | "...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" — Zero |
− | + | "This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." — [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=21449.msg239558#msg239558 Soup_alex] | |
− | "...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" | + | "The default [[Thought|mental state]] of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition — a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" — [[User:Fedor|Fedor]] |
− | "This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." | + | "Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." — Yanlin |
− | "The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition | + | "''Dwarf Fortress'' taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name." |
− | "Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." | + | "Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" — [[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]] |
− | "Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name." | + | "It's never 'just a game' when you're [[Fun|losing]]."<br> — George Carlin (if he played ''Dwarf Fortress'') |
− | |||
− | |||
− | "Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" | ||
− | "It's never 'just a game' when you're losing."<br> | ||
Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway. | Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway. | ||
Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit. | Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit. | ||
− | Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle | + | Tosid Idenarzes likes [[40d:tentacle demon]]s for their corrupt intentions.<br>"There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins." |
"Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death." | "Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death." | ||
− | Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] | + | {{bugl|416|cat=nocat}}: Rain kills everything it lands on |
− | "Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." | + | Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] — town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body |
+ | "Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." Ben jamm1n | ||
Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious. | Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious. | ||
− | Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy. | + | Sizir the Snail of Bait is a [[deity]] of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy. |
− | Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels. | + | Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their [[Stonecutter|lack of quality levels]]. |
− | There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave | + | There are 5 articles in category Lore: [[Armok]], [[Cave adaptation]], [[Elephant]], [[Philosopher]], and [[Vomit]]. |
There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe. | There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe. | ||
− | Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] | + | Bug 000563 [dwarf mode][justice] — mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects |
− | If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of? | + | If cow [[cheese]] is made from [[cow]]'s [[milk]], what is dwarven cheese made of? |
− | Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. | + | [[Known bugs and issues|Bugs]] are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. — Zorgn |
− | "You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+." | + | "You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+." — [[User:Destor|Destor]] |
'''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?"<br>'''Yanlin:''' "Magma." | '''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?"<br>'''Yanlin:''' "Magma." | ||
An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls. | An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls. | ||
− | Bug 000597 [creatures] | + | Bug 000597 [creatures] — flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy. |
− | '''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a | + | '''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a [[glumprong]] blowgun!''' <br> Urdim, you are a freaking idiot. |
<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing. | <Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing. | ||
"If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." | "If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." | ||
"Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead." | "Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead." | ||
Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!! | Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!! | ||
− | Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are | + | ''Dwarf Fortress'': Because burning elves are [[fun]]ny. |
The carp has drowned. | The carp has drowned. | ||
There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones. | There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones. | ||
− | "I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream." | + | "I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being [[Attribute|Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough]]... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream." |
− | + | Bug 000871 [projectiles] — babies fall to death when born on stairs | |
− | + | Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] — a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes | |
− | Bug 000871 [projectiles] | + | "[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." — sonerohi |
− | Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] | + | Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. — PTTG?? |
− | "[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." | + | ...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has [[Mandate|mandated]] the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. — PTTG?? |
− | + | Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume [[purring maggot]], [[Pig tail|Dwarven ale]] and [[Dwarven syrup]]. He absolutely [[Hateable|detests]] purring maggots." | |
− | Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. | + | Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost [[Grudge|an annoying friend]] to tragedy lately. |
− | ...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. | + | I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. — Someone in Headshoots |
− | Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots." | + | "As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!"<br>"Muskox has gone stark raving mad!"<br>I think something is wrong with the human caravan... |
− | + | "Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." — Boksi | |
− | Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately. | + | It has [[Creature#Reading the Table|stats]]. It can be killed. |
− | I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. | + | Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] — Bones pop out of coffins. |
− | "As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan... | ||
− | "Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." | ||
− | It has stats. It can be killed. | ||
− | Bug 000432 [dwarf mode][items] | ||
Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago. | Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago. | ||
If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...> | If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...> | ||
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"So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??" | "So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??" | ||
Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf. | Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf. | ||
− | Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that. | + | Once saw a water skin with [[red beryl]] spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that. |
− | Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying. | + | Watching a kobold thief be chased by [[Bat man|batman]] is very satisfying. |
Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently. | Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently. | ||
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Mew? <br />Chop! | Mew? <br />Chop! | ||
− | "If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microcline and | + | "If ''Dwarf Fortress'' geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of [[microcline]] and [[demon]]s." |
− | 'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' | + | 'They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' — Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8 |
It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing. | It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing. | ||
It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow. | It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow. | ||
− | Bug introduced in the latest version: | + | Bug introduced in the latest version: [[Fire men]] can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place. |
− | You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas. | + | You stab [[Iron Man]] in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas. |
Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature | Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature | ||
− | Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path. | + | Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find [[path]]. |
− | Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br> | + | Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br> — The motto of ''Dwarf Fortress'' |
− | I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things. | + | I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many [[Trap#Weapon trap|mechanized crossbows]] they have hidden underneath those damn things. |
− | "Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br /> | + | "Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br /> — Dwarven Philosopher |
This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron. | This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron. | ||
Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses. | Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses. | ||
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The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest. | The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest. | ||
Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung!<br>''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"'' | Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung!<br>''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"'' | ||
− | "You must construct additional barrels!" | + | "You must construct additional barrels!" — [[User:Speed112]] |
− | All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal. | + | All I want is a major river next to a volcano with [[flux]], [[sand]] and [[bituminous coal]]. |
Do not taunt magma. | Do not taunt magma. | ||
− | I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say. | + | I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say. — KingAuggie |
[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground | [the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground | ||
− | The fortress' randomly generated name was " | + | The fortress' [[Language|randomly generated name]] was "Greatest[[Fun|failure]]". |
"You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!" | "You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!" | ||
− | "The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is | + | "The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is — [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]" |
− | "Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" | + | "Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" — Ted Usmokatra, law-giver |
− | Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung | + | Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung made an [[artifact]], became mayor and promptly [[Mandate|mandated]] the construction of [[slade]] goods. |
− | Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost. | + | ''Dwarf Fortress'': You've already lost. |
A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live. | A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live. | ||
A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident. | A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident. | ||
There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma. | There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma. | ||
− | Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!. | + | Portal and ''Dwarf Fortress'' share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!. |
− | + | The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. — Fredd | |
− | The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. | + | (On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. — Nyxalinth |
− | (On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. | + | So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. — Samuel |
− | So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. | ||
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Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen. | Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen. | ||
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The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down! | The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down! | ||
[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood?<br>[23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river? | [22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood?<br>[23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river? | ||
No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn. | No, you're not getting that leg back. In fact, that creature over there is going to pick your leg up and beat you to death with it. You won't respawn. | ||
My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves. | My refuse pile just woke up and ate my dwarves, who in turn got up themselves and started eating the other dwarves. | ||
− | {{bugl|2264}} | + | {{bugl|2264|cat=nocat}} — Adv. Mode travel (near oceans) teleports player underground and turns them into an underground creature |
− | {{bugl|5921}} | + | {{bugl|5921|cat=nocat}} — Biting dwarves in minecarts infinitely increases combat range |
− | Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. | + | Fort flooded. So that's what an aquifer is. — Exelixi |
Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target. | Axedwarf looks surprised by the ferocity of Spearmasters onslaught. Spearmaster charges at Axedwarf. Spearmaster stabs axedwarf in the left eye with his +Adamantine spear+, lightly tapping the target. | ||
In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts. | In 4, the Castle of Fortune of the Tombs of Gold constructed the Hell of Taxing in Entrancedcrafts. | ||
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Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant.<br>Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine! | Mukca: Seek this place and kill Cenäth Certaindrives the giant.<br>Knowing no mercy, Cenäth stole Fisher berry wine! | ||
We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves! | We shall build a tower so tall, we will mine the very stars themselves! | ||
Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain. | Ingish Såkzulbomrek, Miner cancels Report Crime: Dangerous terrain. | ||
You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite. | You have struck limonite! Oddom Nishdanman, Furnace Operator cancels Smelt Limonite Ore: needs limonite. | ||
− | {{bugl|4753}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin | + | {{bugl|4753|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Rodent men have no skin |
− | {{bugl|0040}} [Dwarf Mode | + | {{bugl|0040|cat=nocat}} [Dwarf Mode — Jobs, Items]: "Dwarf cancels Make Cloth Item: Needs 10000 plant cloth" |
− | {{bugl|5531}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick | + | {{bugl|5531|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Legless animal men can kick |
− | {{bugl|1588}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids | + | {{bugl|1588|cat=nocat}} [Creatures]: Creature with 1 eye and 2 eyelids |
− | "This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility."<br /> | + | "This is my reward for not letting us all die. I have to deal with the Nobility."<br /> — Captain Ironblood, the mayor of Nist Akath |
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I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year). | I'd like to think they bonded over their sinister ancestors (or the strange childhood coincidence of having younger siblings gobbled up by different werebuffalo in the same year). | ||
− | They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. | + | They just walk around without a head until they realize that they should suffocate. — Urist Da Vinci |
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You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices. | You monster! Killing too many children at once will make everyone sad. You need to kill them slowly so nobody notices. | ||
− | Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and less care. | + | Dwarven... "Child Care": It's like regular childcare, except with more dogs, and [[Fun|less care]]. |
− | You: How have things been? Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror. | + | You: How have things been?<br>Tulon Tunlikot, Mayor: Well, let's see... we've got the army on the march, beasts, bandits and bone-chilling horror. |
− | {{bugl|6722}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned | + | {{bugl|6722|cat=nocat}}: Manager climbs a tree instead of going to office when management jobs are assigned |
− | {{bugl|5971}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag | + | {{bugl|5971|cat=nocat}}: Fat dwarves eating causes lag |
− | {{bugl|6817}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being." | + | {{bugl|6817|cat=nocat}}: "Behold, mortal. I am a diving being." |
It was inevitable. | It was inevitable. | ||
Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night. | Weresquirrel Ceru Uzushimdo has come! A large Squirrel twisted into humanoid form. It is crazed for blood and flesh. Its eyes glow orange. Its sandy taupe hair is very curly. Now you will know why you fear the night. | ||
− | I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've modded them so that their body temperature causes nearby trees to burst into flames. | + | I don't think the Elves in my DF game are too happy... I've [[Modding|modded]] them so that their [[Creature token#FIXED_TEMP|body temperature]] causes nearby trees to burst into [[Fire|flames]]. — Evil One |
− | Dwarf Fortress: Teaching methods of genocide against merpeople because their bones are worth 6000{{db}}. | + | ''Dwarf Fortress'': Teaching [[Drowning chamber|methods]] of genocide against [[Merperson|merpeople]] because their bones are worth [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=25967.0 6000{{db}}]. |
No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young. | No one has gone missing or died. The year is still young. | ||
From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees | From release notes 0.40.11: Stopped overuse of plant structure tag causing people to say they preferred to eat trees | ||
− | + | The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a [[wagon]]. — Halfling | |
− | The game actually has a first-person message about being scuttled, just in case you should happen to be playing as a wagon. | ||
Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified. | Engraved on the wall is a well-designed image of a dwarf and hamsters. The dwarf is surrounded by the hamsters. The dwarf looks terrified. | ||
− | Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! | + | Spring is coming, oh no, prepare the coffins! — Garath |
− | Welcome to Dwarf Fortress. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. | + | Welcome to ''Dwarf Fortress''. Where peaceful death of old age is something nobody sees coming. — Sirbug |
− | + | "I died."<br>"The Weather looks to be fine today."<br>"I heard that I died." | |
− | "I died." "The Weather looks to be fine today." "I heard that I died." | ||
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Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill. | Large mobs of groundhogs can still kill things they wouldn't normally kill. | ||
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You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! <br>Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2. | You punch Human 2 in the right eye from behind with your left hand and the injured part explodes into gore! <br>Human 2: Greetings. My name is Human 2. | ||
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Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die. | Chopping down the tree [is] effective, insofar as you do not care whether the dwarves live or die. | ||
Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge! | Knowing no mercy, [http://imgur.com/hoGQZoX Nikot] stole a cherry! This vile fiend even murdered Mafi Fanggorge! | ||
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Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!" | Obok Kelzokum is interested near his own fine [[Bed]]. "I was near to my own Bed. How incredibly interesting!" | ||
− | Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? | + | Wait, wait, wait. Why the hell do you have a raven stockpile? — [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=108371.msg3235825#msg3235825 peskyninja] |
− | You can modify chickens so that, instead of laying eggs, they lay live bees. Dwarf Fortress: crimes against nature simulator. |