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[[Category:Humor and stories]] | [[Category:Humor and stories]] | ||
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==[[User:Abby Ratso Lee|Abby Ratso Lee]]== | ==[[User:Abby Ratso Lee|Abby Ratso Lee]]== | ||
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“It is time,” said the dwarf, “for revolution.” | “It is time,” said the dwarf, “for revolution.” | ||
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==Alluvian_Est-Endrati== | ==Alluvian_Est-Endrati== | ||
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"No one will die today," said Thafor, "that hasn't died before." | "No one will die today," said Thafor, "that hasn't died before." | ||
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==Angry Licker== | ==Angry Licker== | ||
Line 430: | Line 273: | ||
“Squawk your last,” shouted Fidon, stepping out from behind a giant | “Squawk your last,” shouted Fidon, stepping out from behind a giant | ||
mushroom. “For tonight you die.” | mushroom. “For tonight you die.” | ||
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==[[User:Bott Maggot|Bott Maggot]]== | ==[[User:Bott Maggot|Bott Maggot]]== | ||
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opened above and a torrent of lava fell from the ceiling, incinerating | opened above and a torrent of lava fell from the ceiling, incinerating | ||
them both in a cloud of steam. | them both in a cloud of steam. | ||
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==[[User:Caeonosphere|Caeonosphere]]== | ==[[User:Caeonosphere|Caeonosphere]]== | ||
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"Forget that old goblin," said Aliz. | "Forget that old goblin," said Aliz. | ||
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==[[User:crash2455|crash2455]]== | ==[[User:crash2455|crash2455]]== | ||
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Death's dance. True heroism would be awoken that day, a shaft of | Death's dance. True heroism would be awoken that day, a shaft of | ||
light into the heart of darkness. | light into the heart of darkness. | ||
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==[[User:Davion|Davion]]== | ==[[User:Davion|Davion]]== | ||
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"You must take us to the library," said Banesa. | "You must take us to the library," said Banesa. | ||
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==DreamThorn== | ==DreamThorn== | ||
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"The egg hatched the night after it was brought here," said the king | "The egg hatched the night after it was brought here," said the king | ||
to Kognar. "It has devoured every dwarf that has challenged it." | to Kognar. "It has devoured every dwarf that has challenged it." | ||
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==Eagleon== | ==Eagleon== | ||
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"Animal people!" cried the elf. "Shoot them down!" | "Animal people!" cried the elf. "Shoot them down!" | ||
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==[[User:Ergot|Ergot]]== | ==[[User:Ergot|Ergot]]== | ||
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before it took his scalp. | before it took his scalp. | ||
− | ==[[User: | + | ==[[User:Darksaiyan|Darkie]]== |
− | '' | + | ===(14 September 2008)=== |
− | ===( | + | <pre>,.,.O@T,...</pre> |
− | <pre> | + | |
+ | Surrounded by a troll on one side and an ogre on the other, dwarf | ||
+ | master Alrin knew these could be the last seconds of his life. As he | ||
+ | gripped the handle of his axe he recalled the teachings of Azrom, god | ||
+ | of war. Matters of great importance should be given the slightest | ||
+ | thought. It was only the minor matters that must be given the most | ||
+ | delicate care. So, without conscious thought, Alrin slammed his axe | ||
+ | handle into the ogre's toe. Swiftly, the dwarf ran between the | ||
+ | monster's legs and delivered a swift kick to its backside. As the | ||
+ | ogre toppled over, the hairy troll launched over the fallen monster | ||
+ | and leaped toward Alrin. As time slowed in an adrenalin rush, Alrin | ||
+ | readied his axe. | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:Draigh|Draigh]]== | ||
+ | ===(13 Augustus 2008)=== | ||
+ | <pre>.@@|,-.-.kk,k,.k,.</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Malgar, warrior dwarf woman, fought on against the onslaught of | ||
+ | kobolds, her newborn baby still strapped to her back. She lifted her | ||
+ | shield to block another volley of poison darts. She had been hunting, | ||
+ | far from the entrance of the fortress, when she stumbled upon the | ||
+ | skulking trash, no doubt planning a cowardly raid on the fortress | ||
+ | vault. She had to warn the others. With one hand she held the bugle | ||
+ | to her lips, while with the other she parried another deadly strike. | ||
− | + | ==[[User:AbuDhabi|AbuDhabi]]== | |
+ | ===(5 February 2009)=== | ||
+ | <pre>CCCCCCC,.,.,.|||@+@+></pre> | ||
− | + | Fires burned at the edge of the vast grassland, holding back the | |
+ | darkness before the dwarf fortress. All night baleful howls could be | ||
+ | heard on the plain, undead cows brought back to life by the evil | ||
+ | wizard Maxelman. He had allowed the dwarves to live in his domain of | ||
+ | evil, if they but bestowed on him one artifact a year. Nothing, | ||
+ | however, could measure the greed of a dwarf. Nothing, that is, save | ||
+ | his thirst for strong whiskey. | ||
− | + | A dwarf stood atop the battlement, laughing drunkenly. "Get down | |
+ | Twan," whispered his fellow guardsman. "The night-wings will snatch | ||
+ | you off the wall!" Twan threw his stein off the wall in defiance. | ||
+ | Such was his vanity that he thought that they only need live through | ||
+ | the night. Little did he know, the dawn would never come. | ||
− | + | ===(24 February 2009)=== | |
+ | <pre>DgDgg%@@%@~~++++++>>>>^+^+^+^+^%%%%%@</pre> | ||
− | + | Twan held his helmet over his eyes and screamed. Fireballs smashed | |
+ | into the walls, shot from the gullets of a dozen dragons circling in | ||
+ | the smoke-choked sky. Marksdwarves dove from the walls and smashed | ||
+ | into the courtyard below. "Stand and fight!" shouted Captain Krandle. | ||
+ | "Fear no devil!" Twan reached the courtyard just as the gate broken | ||
+ | open wide. Pike-wielding goblins poured through the opening. Captain | ||
+ | Krandle threw his great braided beard over his shoulder and called | ||
+ | forth his squad of elite axe-lords, The Chosen. | ||
− | + | Pike and axe clashed again and again as Twan crawled between the legs | |
+ | of the combatants. A head dropped onto the ground before him. It was | ||
+ | the head of Captain Krandle. Twan pressed on. He would not be | ||
+ | paralyzed with fear. It seemed that the power of Maxelman knew no | ||
+ | bounds, but not even he could breach the inner mines. Dodging the | ||
+ | deadly weapons, and slithering over the bodies, Twan made his way the | ||
+ | center of the fortress. | ||
− | + | A dark tunnel lay beyond the entrance to the keep. Twan danced down | |
+ | the corridor in the intricate steps that avoided the complex mass of | ||
+ | triggers and tripwires that guarded the entrance. Inside were the | ||
+ | mines, stocked with enough dwarven wine to keep them in the cups for | ||
+ | ten years. Twan reflected for a moment on those above who had died. | ||
+ | It wasn't important. He was alive, and would remain so, so long as he | ||
+ | avoided the king and any quests he might have in store. | ||
− | <pre>@ | + | ===(13 May 2009)=== |
+ | <pre>%@/%+++@+@@@</pre> | ||
− | + | "That blasted wizard Maxelman," came a booming voice. "He shall not | |
− | + | have my artifact staff!" | |
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− | + | Curses, thought Twan from his hiding in the cellar, the king! The | |
− | + | dwarf lord paced back and forth, followed by a pleading train of | |
+ | aristocrats, tears of rage streaming from his eyes. The staff, the | ||
+ | cause of all the suffering the dwarves now endured, was only ten short | ||
+ | steps away. In near berserker rage, the king threw the staff down, | ||
+ | startling the nobles. Twan saw his chance. He shot between the | ||
+ | nobles and snatched up the artifact. | ||
− | + | "Scoundrel," roared the king, "unhand the magic staff!" | |
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− | + | Twan leapt onto a keg, holding the staff high. | |
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− | + | "Maxelman will burn this fortress to the ground to gain this staff," | |
+ | said the rude dwarf. "I will have this power for myself!" | ||
− | + | The king growled, plucking the gold rings from his fingers. He hurled | |
+ | them at Twan, one striking the dwarf in the teeth. "Seize him!" | ||
+ | shouted the besieged ruler. Twan jumped from barrel to barrel as the | ||
+ | purple clad nobles chased him. As he ran from the cellar he heard | ||
+ | king's cry, "Guards, guards!" | ||
− | + | In the enemy camp, the vile wizard Maxelman puzzled over his battle | |
+ | plans. A dwarf fortress is always a hard nut to crack. One of his | ||
+ | generals, a skeletal shade from the netherworld, summoned him from his | ||
+ | tent. The wizard straightened his aching back, brushed his long black | ||
+ | beard, and stepped to the door. There, standing between two fierce | ||
+ | goblin guards, was Twan, holding the king's staff. | ||
− | + | ===(29 Aug 2009)=== | |
+ | <pre>+U+G-@+GG+</pre> | ||
− | + | "You bring me the staff," said the evil sorcerer, "as a traitor to your people?" | |
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− | + | The dwarven rogue took a step back and leveled the staff at his arch-nemesis. | |
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− | + | "You will have the staff," said Twan. "Have it through your black | |
+ | shriveled heart!" | ||
− | + | The dwarf pressed a secret button and a blade emerged from the end of | |
− | + | the staff. The wizard called on his generals. The skeletal ghoul | |
+ | drew his saber and charged. Twan spun with expert skill and took out | ||
+ | the phantom's knees, such was the power that the staff bestowed. Two | ||
+ | more undead warlords entered the tent. Twan thrust the staff at | ||
+ | Maxelman but a undead general threw himself in front of the blade, | ||
+ | impaling himself and collapsed into dust. | ||
− | + | The legless fiend below snatched Twan's ankles and pulled Twan to the | |
− | + | floor. The staff spilled onto the ground. The dwarf felt his courage | |
+ | suddenly fading. The wizard snatched up the artifact and cried out | ||
+ | with joy. The long campaign was finally at an end. The skeleton put | ||
+ | its bony arm around Twan's neck and pulled him upright. The wizard | ||
+ | noticed the dwarf and walked toward him, pointing the staff. | ||
− | + | "Nice try, dwarf," said Maxelman. "Now feel the true power of the | |
+ | artifact staff!" | ||
− | + | Twan caught the thrust between his palms. As the wizard snarled, Twan | |
− | + | took the staff in one hand and with several quick motions, activated | |
− | + | the secret switches along its length. The dwarf released the staff as | |
+ | saw blades swept out of the shaft and sliced off the wizard's hands. | ||
+ | Twan jammed his helmet into the skull of the phantom general and | ||
+ | smashed all the bones in its face. | ||
− | + | The dwarf picked up the blood covered staff and chased the wizard from | |
− | + | the tent. Dozens of goblins blocked his way, but he dispatched them | |
− | + | with mighty slashes of his weapon. Just as he came within a spear's | |
− | + | throw of his enemy, a huge dust cloud blocked his way. Wind blew down | |
− | + | as a giant dragon landed before the dwarf. At last, thought Twan, a | |
− | + | worthy opponent. |