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− | {{Quality|Exceptional}} | + | {{Quality|Exceptional|08:26, 18 July 2010 (UTC)}} |
{{D for Dwarf}} | {{D for Dwarf}} | ||
{{Translation | {{Translation | ||
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| human = ob-jalew kepfu | | human = ob-jalew kepfu | ||
}} | }} | ||
− | [[Noble]]s are | + | [[Noble]]s are fragile, delicate, put-upon beings, burdened with responsibilities which are far more taxing than any lowly commoner could ever hope to wrap their [[Alcohol|booze]]-soaked brains around. However, your dear friends at Happy Fun Surprises Incorporated (Stock Exchange Symbol: "HFS") have prepared a wide variety of [[Losing|Fun]] activities to help your administrators unwind. |
==Lever of mystery== | ==Lever of mystery== | ||
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==Dwarven Spaceheater== | ==Dwarven Spaceheater== | ||
− | Are your nobles abusing their mandate privileges? Perhaps they find their quarters to be on the chilly side. Simply construct one of the newest innovations in comfort, the Dwarven Spaceheater! | + | Are your nobles abusing their mandate privileges? Perhaps they find their quarters to be on the chilly side. Simply construct one of the newest innovations in comfort, the Dwarven Spaceheater! Simply build a [[Minecart|radiator base]] directed towards an adjacent lever. then, order the lever hooked up and pulled ''once'', to confirm its function, and ''then'' place a [[Magma|fueled]] [[Minecart|radiator]] |
+ | on it. Your nobles will now bask in the tropical warmth of their quarters. Should they continue with their demands for adamantine socks and steel buckets, the most likely scenario is that the device has malfunctioned and their pleas for repair work are being interpreted as demands for yet another crystal glass window. The solution is simple, simply have the lever repeatedly pulled until it resumes operation. It is recommended to have the noble perform this themselves alone, to preserve their privacy and so that they may repair it themselves if it malfunctions again, through this is yet to occur. | ||
+ | The resumption of heating should be easily discernible. Your noble will be bathed with [[Magma|warm air]] and will be [[Death|contented]] to cease their demands. NOTE: the device and the furniture in the room should be of [[Magma safe|high-melting point]] construction, as the device can leak, particularly during 'maintenance'. An alternate method is to direct the airflow toward a bed, with maintenance controlled from a central control room. | ||
− | + | TLDR: Put a minecart full of lava in their room on a track stop, with a lever to douse then. | |
==Underground safari== | ==Underground safari== | ||
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Your ever-loyal cadre of nobles have to make hard decisions every day that affect the economic and social future of your fortress. Debating psychosocial theory in front of the less-gifted working class may frighten and demoralize them. For this reason, place your [[Noble|Magenta Magnates]] inside a room with plenty of seating. Once all of your people are inside, lock the door behind them while they hash out a plan. To assist in the discussion, you may wish to place a bin of [[Weapon|debating tools]] in the room with them. Nobles under pressure think quickly, particularly on an empty stomach. | Your ever-loyal cadre of nobles have to make hard decisions every day that affect the economic and social future of your fortress. Debating psychosocial theory in front of the less-gifted working class may frighten and demoralize them. For this reason, place your [[Noble|Magenta Magnates]] inside a room with plenty of seating. Once all of your people are inside, lock the door behind them while they hash out a plan. To assist in the discussion, you may wish to place a bin of [[Weapon|debating tools]] in the room with them. Nobles under pressure think quickly, particularly on an empty stomach. | ||
− | == | + | ==Speartiful== |
− | + | Your wonderful nobles love the beautiful weapons that come out of your forges. Why else would they ask for weapon racks? Maybe you should make them happy and give them some weapons. Simply lay a bunch of upright spears or [[Trap component#Menacing_spike|other beautiful things]] on the floor of their room and they'll come begging for more. Now, you may want to link those spears to a lever and pull it so they can actually walk around their room, remember to leave it on repeat so they'll be able to see the wonders that your [[weaponsmith]]s made every passing second. Just make sure they '''are'''n't in the room while the spears are in motion, or your nobles may become dwarven Swiss cheese and die before their screams can even be heard. And, if possible, whatever you do, '''do''' not use adamantine spears! | |
− | Your wonderful nobles love the beautiful weapons that come out of your forges. Why else would they ask for weapon racks? | ||
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==Exotic housing== | ==Exotic housing== | ||
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==Grave(n) image== | ==Grave(n) image== | ||
− | The nobles serve everyday, day after day, to tirelessly [[syndrome|serve]] your fort. All they demand | + | The nobles serve everyday, day after day, to tirelessly [[syndrome|serve]] your fort. All they demand are some [[slade|nice]] [[artifact|furniture]] for their personal rooms and some recognition. Symbolizing their eternal bond with the mountains, be sure to sculpt it from obsidian. What could be better? Make sure it's fresh by casting it <s>on</s> near the noble. To ensure that the image is special, arrange for the likeness to be created by only the finest mason. If done correctly, the noble will be forever invested in the fortress, to the delight of the workers. |
==Artifact== | ==Artifact== | ||
− | What could possibly | + | What could be possibly better than a big, imposing artifact made <s>from</s> for a noble, as a tribute to how special the noble is? Simply house a noble next to a craftsdwarf's, leatherworker's, or butcher's workshop, and house as well the unhappy, disgruntled hauler next to it. Wait. And when [[Mood#Fell|a beautiful laughter]] is heard, make sure the happy dwarf is next to the noble, so he can share the [[losing|fun]]! Make also sure the resulting artifact is made so it records the noble's life! |
==Immortality== | ==Immortality== |