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[[Category:Humor and stories]] | [[Category:Humor and stories]] | ||
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==[[User:Hellzon|Hellzon]]== | ==[[User:Hellzon|Hellzon]]== | ||
Line 740: | Line 53: | ||
"Durgal!" cried the dwarf girl, Gula. With all his strength, he | "Durgal!" cried the dwarf girl, Gula. With all his strength, he | ||
stretched to reach her in the crashing water. | stretched to reach her in the crashing water. | ||
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==[[User:Janus|Janus]]== | ==[[User:Janus|Janus]]== | ||
Line 978: | Line 104: | ||
Rogar was still stunned. Shalthidon, the Bringer of Ruin, murderer of his parents, lord of the evil of the creeping wastes that had engulfed half the world, was an elf. Dispelling the cloud over his mind, the warrior focused. That will only make killing him all the more satisfying, he thought. Rogar lifted his blade and advanced. | Rogar was still stunned. Shalthidon, the Bringer of Ruin, murderer of his parents, lord of the evil of the creeping wastes that had engulfed half the world, was an elf. Dispelling the cloud over his mind, the warrior focused. That will only make killing him all the more satisfying, he thought. Rogar lifted his blade and advanced. | ||
− | == | + | ==[[User:John Tait|John Tait]]== |
− | ===( | + | ===(4 November 2007)=== |
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− | + | <pre>+@++\M+</pre> | |
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− | + | The young adventurer stepped up to the statue, torch in hand. After a quick inspection he grasped the stone minotaur's horn. He gave it a sharp yank and just as Albert foretold, the rock hand opened dropping the Sword of Fire into the adventurer's waiting hands. The stones in the ceiling above began to rumble, as if the temple itself was being rocked from its foundations. Throwing his cloak over his head, the young man made his way to the entrance, dodging the falling stones. | |
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==[[User:Jevon|Jevon]]== | ==[[User:Jevon|Jevon]]== | ||
Line 1,133: | Line 152: | ||
and massive claws. Mokez stared into the creature's third eye and | and massive claws. Mokez stared into the creature's third eye and | ||
dropped his stone. There was a connection. | dropped his stone. There was a connection. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:JoystickHero|Joystick Hero]]== | ||
+ | ===(14 September 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre>%W%%W% ,.,."","@@@@".,@</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Fires burned on the high mountain. The wind carried the cries of the | ||
+ | dwarves as all they ever cared about was destroyed. But one dwarf had | ||
+ | not given in to despair. It was Malvedar, slayer of dragons and | ||
+ | veteran of a thousand famous battles. He watched the dwarf fortress | ||
+ | burn from his hiding place in the wooded slope. There would come a | ||
+ | time when the enemy was not so lucky, when his schemes failed. That | ||
+ | would be when they remember what they did to the dwarves this day and | ||
+ | would expect no mercy. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Lord Malvedar," said a dwarf soldier, "I think the werewolves have | ||
+ | caught our scent." | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarf warlord nodded. Together, the ragged band of dwarven | ||
+ | survivors made their way down the slope. The road back to the | ||
+ | mountain homes was long and full of danger, but there was nowhere else | ||
+ | left to go. While others cried, Malvedar resisted the urge to throw | ||
+ | himself on the enemy. He would kill many, but not enough before he | ||
+ | was brought low. No. It would be a hard time, and a long time, but | ||
+ | he would have his satisfaction. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:Kosmos|Kosmos]]== | ||
+ | ===(11 September 2007)=== | ||
+ | <pre>T+TT@C +</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Twist my arm, why don't you? You louse," Doran had complained as Bomtek continued to bother him. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Come on, Doran! It's just a bottle of whiskey. The Baron won't miss it. When you deliver his table, just take a little something for yourself. And share it with me." | ||
+ | |||
+ | Now Doran was standing in the Baron's dining room. It already had a fine granite table at its center; the noble had just wanted an obsidian corner piece as an accent. As the dwarf set the table down, Bomtek's repeated needling suggestions still echoed in his mind. It was just one bottle. There are so many in the cabinet. The Baron won't miss just one of them. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarf had to pass the cabinet on the way out. With every step toward it, he felt the whiskey within calling in his heart. Doran's face flushed hot and his stomach felt as if it were being squeezed and twisted. Maybe I'll just look, he thought. Just look and go. He reached out his hand and gently opened the cabinet's door. There was only one bottle inside. Bomtek, you fool, he thought. Yet the whiskey still beckoned him forward, and he continued to gaze on the bottle in silence as it drew him ever closer. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:Laod|Laod]]== | ||
+ | ===(15 October 2006)=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>T..o..T</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Trolls are playing dodgeball with a boulder! Who will win?! | ||
==[[User:.Jim|Jim]]== | ==[[User:.Jim|Jim]]== | ||
Line 1,202: | Line 264: | ||
harms a hair on Dolphin's head, there won't be enough of you left to | harms a hair on Dolphin's head, there won't be enough of you left to | ||
fill your god forsaken tomb!" | fill your god forsaken tomb!" | ||
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==[[User:Kuroneko|Kuroneko]]== | ==[[User:Kuroneko|Kuroneko]]== | ||
Line 1,642: | Line 290: | ||
and the air was filled with wicked laughter. In the end only Johns | and the air was filled with wicked laughter. In the end only Johns | ||
and Toolsman remained. There was no sign of the spiritual guide. | and Toolsman remained. There was no sign of the spiritual guide. | ||
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==Lord Herman== | ==Lord Herman== | ||
Line 2,099: | Line 562: | ||
It had been bitten and stung a thousand times. | It had been bitten and stung a thousand times. | ||
− | ===( | + | ==Insanity Prelude== |
− | <pre>@@@@,.,.@,=,.,.? | + | ===(1. I forgot, sometime in 2009)=== |
+ | <pre>c@,.ccccccccccc@ccccc@ccc@cccccccccc</pre> | ||
+ | Kittens roamed through the halls, as dwarf tanner Kramer worked the | ||
+ | cat skins. It seemed his work would never end. The uncounted vermin | ||
+ | in the fortress made the cat bellies full, and they bred out of | ||
+ | control. Baron Zarkin issued a final order: "Suffer no cat to live." | ||
+ | Death squads searched the corridors for felines, and brought the | ||
+ | bodies to Kramer. It was a tough job; Kramer admired cats for their | ||
+ | aloofness. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was cat-lord | ||
+ | Tainaria. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Who are you?" asked Kramer. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Who I am is not important," said the beast-woman. "Don't you feel | ||
+ | that what you are doing is wrong?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Yes," said the dwarf, "but…" | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(2. December 10, 2009)=== | ||
+ | <pre>cccc,c,.C@.</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Stomer," said Tainaria, snapping her clawed fingers, "take him." | ||
+ | |||
+ | An enormous walking cat emerged from the shadows. It was striped and | ||
+ | grey with a round golden belly. In its paws it held a large brown | ||
+ | sack. The cat people pounced on Kramer, tackling him to the ground. | ||
+ | They kicked and stomped him until he was knocked senseless. Tainaria | ||
+ | looked on as Stomer poured the dwarf into the sack. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Kramer awoke, suffocating in the damp confines of the sack that was | ||
+ | his prison. The sack bounced up and down as the cat ran. At last | ||
+ | Kramer was thrown down onto the mud. He peered out of the bag into | ||
+ | the nauseating sunlight. He felt a sharp kick to his ribs. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Come out, killer!" shouted Tainaria. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarf crawled out onto the mossy ground. He looked around as the | ||
+ | tall trees and thick green ferns. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "This is the elf forest," said Kramer. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Stomer drew his lips back across his teeth in a grotesque mockery of a smile. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "You," said Kramer, "you're not going to leave me out here!?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==Kittah_Khan== | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(12th January, 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre>,.,~E/~..,.@,..@g@@@</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Doom approached with the morning light. At any moment, Thun expected | ||
+ | the elves to come along the high branch to his wooden cage. He had | ||
+ | been taken while drinking with his dwarves at a fortified position | ||
+ | along the southern front. The elves pounced on them like hungry lions | ||
+ | and disarmed them before they could fight back. Staring through the | ||
+ | bars of his cage at the ground so far below, Thun remembered how his | ||
+ | friends had been taken from the cage and dragged away, lost to hope. | ||
+ | The elves appeared before the cage bars. The door swung open and Thun | ||
+ | struck, spraying the air with a fine red mist. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Ninzul, he called it, the Wooden Axe of Freedom. Possessed by a | ||
+ | strange mood, Thun worked all night in the cage, carving the | ||
+ | master-work weapon from the wood of the bars with his fingernails. | ||
+ | With scant effort, Thun hacked his way through the elven guards. The | ||
+ | crazed dwarf swung from tree to tree, knocking arrows out of the air | ||
+ | with Ninzul. The elves close behind him. Something gave way, and | ||
+ | Thun looked up to see an elf cutting away his vine. Thun let out a | ||
+ | hoot as he plunged toward the forest floor. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "We must have him," said the elf prince, "to lose him, after what he | ||
+ | has done, would disgrace us to the Forest Spirit." | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Yes, Prince Altera," said the elf woman. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The elf ruler called for his Jay. Two elves dragged the giant blue | ||
+ | bird from his pen. Altera mounted the great bird. His woman, elf | ||
+ | mistress Renere, leapt onto the saddle behind him. She held in her | ||
+ | hands Creneri, the bow of courage. Prince Altera knew there was no | ||
+ | hope for the dwarf but, not being the kind to leave things to chance, | ||
+ | he called for the chipmunk men. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Soon the tree was crawling with small, hairy creatures, vaguely humanoid. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "You will tell every animal person in the kingdom to hunt for this | ||
+ | dwarf," ordered the prince. "Every needle of the forest will turn | ||
+ | against him." | ||
+ | |||
+ | The heart in his chest felt as though it would beat right out of him. | ||
+ | His lungs burned like forge fire. He looked to his side to see a man | ||
+ | in green hopping along next to him. It turned to him revealing a | ||
+ | horribly distorted insectoid face. A grasshopper man. Thun skidded | ||
+ | to a halt and wielded the axe over his head. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "I yield, great warrior," said insect in his clicking way. "I come, | ||
+ | show you not all creatures follow the elf prince." | ||
+ | |||
+ | "What have you to gain from aiding my escape?" asked Thun, lowering his weapon. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "The dwarves in the south," said the grasshopper man. "If you lead | ||
+ | them back this way, they will put an end to the elves?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarf looked down at his new green friend. "That," he said, "I | ||
+ | promise you." | ||
+ | |||
+ | -- | ||
+ | |||
+ | Explosions rocked the southern fortifications as the giant hawks | ||
+ | dropped great boulders and bags of poison gas. Thun looked through a | ||
+ | slit in the fortress wall. The elf forest was only a ballista shot | ||
+ | away. Already the sky was traced with fiery shots from the siege | ||
+ | engines, slamming into the trees beyond. The dwarf warlord approached | ||
+ | the hero. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "It will take three more weeks before our fortifications are close | ||
+ | enough to strike the heart of the forest," said the warlord. "I'm | ||
+ | told you could put an end to this contest." | ||
+ | |||
+ | "I can lead your vanguard to the heart of the forest," said Thun. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarven leader looked at the legendary axe and back at Thun. He nodded. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The air was quiet as Thun and his dwarves approached through the tall | ||
+ | grass. The barrage had been called off to lure the elves into a false | ||
+ | sense of security. The smell was sweet with burning wood. The ground | ||
+ | was covered with smoldering craters where the elves had quenched the | ||
+ | dwarven fireballs. Further inside, the grasshopper man was waiting. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Through a dry creek the dwarves marched. They held their crossbows at | ||
+ | the ready. The grasshopper man signaled for them to stop. He pointed | ||
+ | with one of his arms. Thun saw them at once, five elves and a jaguar | ||
+ | man, waiting to ambush them. The dwarf did not fail to notice one of | ||
+ | the elf women was carrying a masterpiece bow of dwarven design. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarves made their way up out of the stream bed and encircled the | ||
+ | elves. The jaguar man smelled them and tried to cry out but was | ||
+ | silenced by a dwarven bolt. Shots fired in all directions. The elves | ||
+ | split and fought to break away. Thun marked the elf leader's bow and | ||
+ | ran after her. She turned and loosed an arrow at his face. He ducked | ||
+ | just in time and looked behind to see a young sapling torn in two by | ||
+ | the shot. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "You cannot defeat Renere," said the elf. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Thun drew back the wooden axe and flung it at the elf's head, but it | ||
+ | smashed into the tree behind her after striking off her ear. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "My ear!" cried Renere. "You will pay for this insult." | ||
+ | |||
+ | The elf threw down the bow and yanked Ninzul out of the tree trunk. | ||
+ | The other dwarves filed into the clearing. Thun held up his hand. | ||
+ | The elf was his. Silently, the fighters circled. The dwarves never | ||
+ | wanted this war, just logs for the furnaces. Now, looking at this | ||
+ | bleeding fanatic, Thun knew that the feud could only end by final | ||
+ | victory. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:Hazmat|Hazmat]]== | ||
+ | ===(24 April 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre> ||U+++WWWbbbbWb </pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Night, thief of all cheer. When has the sun set on a happy soul in | ||
+ | Bonverland? Everyone knows the terror that lurks behind every shadow, | ||
+ | ever since the evil knight Galrod took up residence in Highthorn | ||
+ | castle. Werewolves and blendecs were at his command. It was said | ||
+ | that only one thing could end his cursed life, the Golden Shank of | ||
+ | Allmine. The people wailed with misery, for the shank was said to be | ||
+ | in the deep dungeon of a dwarf fortress many leagues to the east. It | ||
+ | was a time of mass panic. That was until the hero Mandack arrived. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:Kaltor|Kaltor]]== | ||
+ | ===(30 April 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre> ,E..U~~~ </pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Ash rained from the sky for ten years. Few were alive that could | ||
+ | retell the story of that dreadful day, the day the dragon came. | ||
+ | Through the dusty haze of the burned forest, one could often see elves | ||
+ | moving about, hopelessly searching the ground for seeds of the sacred | ||
+ | trees. Death ruled that mirthless place, and all who dwelt there did | ||
+ | so in mourning and at the mercy of the dragon. | ||
+ | |||
+ | It was then, ten years since the massacre, that the hero Brandish | ||
+ | arrived. He followed the clear stream from the mountain into the | ||
+ | ravaged valley. It was then that he stopped to fill his jug. He | ||
+ | found the stream water had a strange taste. It was not water -- it | ||
+ | was tears. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "What are doing in this wasted valley?" came a voice. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Brandish turn to see an elf girl, starving and covered in rags. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "I come to slay the dragon," said the hero. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(2 March 2012)=== | ||
+ | <pre>~~~~~~~U~~~~~~ ?D?</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | The elf threw her head back and laughed as a man would at a fool. | ||
+ | Brandish, angered, threw down his jug. Deep in his heart he was | ||
+ | terrified of the little girl, for she was a tool of the dragon. He | ||
+ | cursed himself for a coward and stepped forward. The elf looked at | ||
+ | him with tired eyes filled hate. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Sometimes I hope you would kill me," said the dragon through the | ||
+ | girl's lips. "It has been a long ten years with nothing to chew on | ||
+ | but dry bones." | ||
+ | |||
+ | "If it's death you want," said Brandish, "you shall have it." | ||
+ | |||
+ | Taken by a sudden fit of tremors, the girl moved this way and that, | ||
+ | then collapsed into a pile of dust. After a minute, Brandish let his | ||
+ | hand fall from the hilt of his weapon. He wondered if this whole | ||
+ | valley was peopled only by ghosts and monsters. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Deeper into the wastes he traveled. Here were the black outlines of | ||
+ | buildings and the ashen shadows where people and animals fell. Doubt | ||
+ | took his heart once more. He had braved death a thousand times, but | ||
+ | this was different. It was said that the dragon could look into your | ||
+ | very soul. Brandish did not want to know what weakness the monster | ||
+ | would find. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==Kaelis Ebonrai== | ||
+ | ===(22 June 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre>###UH/###,.,..UH,g.gg,g.ggggg</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | The fierce warrior brushed the feathers out of his face as the battle | ||
+ | hawk circled for another dive. He slapped the neck of his winged | ||
+ | steed and leaned low, one hand on the reins, the other on his deadly | ||
+ | javelins. Since the time of the first legends, Geldrix and his men | ||
+ | had been bird riders. The ground rushed by as the hawk dove. The | ||
+ | goblins never knew what hit them. Spears fell from the sky like rain. | ||
+ | Talons tore and beaks pecked. Seeing the enemy commander, Geldrix | ||
+ | took the dagger from his teeth and launched from his saddle. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The enemy general rode proud in the saddle. His dark metal armor was | ||
+ | festooned with black roses. Geldrix tackled him off his horse with | ||
+ | the force of a meteor. Sitting astride the evil knight, Geldrix | ||
+ | marked the spot for the death stroke. As his knife plunged toward the | ||
+ | knight's neck, a gauntlet seized him by the wrist. Geldrix smiled. | ||
+ | There is still some fight in this one, he thought. He flipped back | ||
+ | the enemy's visor and was shocked by what he saw. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Beneath him lay by far the most beautiful woman in the world. Pain | ||
+ | shocked Geldrix's system as he suffered a blow to the lower body. He | ||
+ | rolled to the side, his eyes shut tight in pain. He could hear the | ||
+ | woman knight curse him as she kicked him about the neck and head. | ||
+ | Others came, and he was bound. He opened his eyes and found himself | ||
+ | lashed to the back of a horse. There was nowhere they could take him | ||
+ | that the hawkmen could not find him, but would he be whole when he was | ||
+ | found? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(6 September 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre>+u~+U++U+UUUUUU</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | |||
+ | Geldrix returned to Hawkvir half a man. Something was missing. He | ||
+ | moved like a shadow, avoiding the company of his fellow warriors. A | ||
+ | fair lass came to him, offering a cup of wine. He knocked it away, | ||
+ | spilling dark liquid onto the carpet of the royal hall. All went | ||
+ | silent as the king rose from his throne. Geldrix hid his face with | ||
+ | his cloak, staring at the king with a single maddened eye as he | ||
+ | approached. The guards opened a door and the king ushered Geldrix | ||
+ | outside, into a narrow passage. Once they were alone, he spoke. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "What happened to you out there?" asked the king. "What was it like | ||
+ | to be a prisoner of the goblins?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | "I was defeated," said Geldrix, sobbing. "I can never be a hawk rider | ||
+ | again. I did not escape, as I told the others. I was traded to the | ||
+ | dwarves for a crate of dimple-dyed cloth." | ||
+ | |||
+ | The king looked down on the broken man that was once captain of the | ||
+ | riders and shook his head slowly. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Surely there is something you can live for," shouted the king. | ||
+ | "Revenge, perhaps?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | Geldrix found it difficult to take the saddle, having spent so long on | ||
+ | the earth. Now in the air, he watched the trails for Zona, warrior | ||
+ | princess of the goblins. It was all her fault, he kept telling | ||
+ | himself. He would strike her down and his manhood would be restored. | ||
+ | His hand trembled at the reins. Memories of his time underground came | ||
+ | flooding back. Then his eye caught something on the road below, two | ||
+ | riders heading for the dark mountain. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(26 September 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre>.,.".,"~~,.".,.@,.g||,.</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Flying low over the road, Geldrix pulled the hood over his head. With | ||
+ | a double flip, he launched through the air and landed before the | ||
+ | riders. The two goblins sat upon their beak dogs glancing at each | ||
+ | other. Geldrix drew his sword and turned his head to the side, | ||
+ | staring out of the hood with one hateful eye. The goblins dismounted | ||
+ | and took up their heavy iron spiked clubs. One of the goblins stepped | ||
+ | forward. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Show your face," it said, "so we can tell tales of which mighty hero we slew." | ||
+ | |||
+ | Geldrix's face burned with anger and shame. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Coward?" said the mocking goblin. "Is that it?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | At last, he could take it no more. He threw back his hood, his blond | ||
+ | curls blowing in the wind. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Geldrix?" laughed the goblin. "You have a lot of nerve showing your | ||
+ | face around here." | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Boo!" shouted the goblin. Overwhelmed by fear, Geldrix dropped his | ||
+ | sword and ran. His hawk landed before him but died instantly as a | ||
+ | crossbow bolt struck its eye. Geldrix collapsed onto the carcass, | ||
+ | openly weeping. The goblins approached, chuckling and calling out | ||
+ | cruel jokes. Geldrix screamed out to the heavens. He stood, ripping | ||
+ | out two handfuls of feathers. When the goblins reached him, he threw | ||
+ | the feathers in their faces and ran, to where the gods only knew. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Breaths came hot and stinging, his boots ankle deep in the forest | ||
+ | swamp. Geldrix felt his extreme shame. He was not a warrior, not | ||
+ | even a man. He was the ultimate traitor to all the hawk men, his | ||
+ | cowardice now a thing of legend. He planted his butt in a muddy | ||
+ | puddle and looked up to see a gremlin sitting on a high tree branch. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Don't worry, son," said the creature. "We all have a little rabbit in us." | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==Japa== | ||
+ | ===(27th December, 2010)=== | ||
+ | <pre>llllllllllllllllllll,.@,.@@@@@@@@@@@@</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | There was a beast called the Strangler that lived deep in the forest. | ||
+ | No one knew what forces woke it, but one night it scaled the walls of | ||
+ | the dwarf fortress with its four long arms and caught the dwarf king | ||
+ | as he was star gazing on the royal balcony. Without a moment's | ||
+ | hesitation, the monster pitched the king over the side to meet a | ||
+ | violent death at the base of the mountain. | ||
+ | |||
+ | At dawn's light the dwarves set out in search of the creature. | ||
+ | Captain Aliz, who had been trusted with the safeguarding of the king's | ||
+ | life, now sought vengeance. He lead his posse of a dozen dwarves, | ||
+ | with twenty gray langurs leading the way. As they entered the forest | ||
+ | Aliz pounded his chest and prayed the Forge Father for victory. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(4th February, 2011)=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>lllllTS-@,lllll,.@@@@</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | At the base of an ancient tree, a langur called out. As the dwarves | ||
+ | came rushing, swords drawn, more gray langurs scaled the tree. The | ||
+ | strangler stirred from its den. Its four muscular arms flexed as it | ||
+ | crawled from the knot in the tree. It blinked its three black eyes | ||
+ | and gave out a loud hoot through its shark-like teeth. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The monkeys pounced one after another and the strangler knocked them | ||
+ | away. They kept coming and even the four hands of the monster were | ||
+ | not enough to swat them all. The langurs grabbed onto the monster's | ||
+ | legs. Others mounted the strangler's head and poked its eyes as the | ||
+ | dwarves cheered below. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Branches cracked and snapped as the strangler fell. With a mighty | ||
+ | crunch, the monster slammed into the forest floor. As the dwarves | ||
+ | closed in, the strangler coughed up blood, clearly dying. Aliz | ||
+ | prodded his sword under the creature's chin. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Who sent you?" demanded the dwarf. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "You know very well who," said the monster as it died. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(23rd May, 2011)=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>++Ao@++</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | It could only be Malfacto, the evil necromancer. Once Malfacto was a | ||
+ | greedy dwarf with his eyes on the throne. Universally loathed, the | ||
+ | wretched dwarf wandered the wilds, finding that not even the animals | ||
+ | would tolerate him. He wasted his days away, scavenging meat like a | ||
+ | jackal and playing with bare bones. | ||
+ | |||
+ | It was at the depths of his insanity that a vision came to him. It | ||
+ | was an angel clothed in darkness, a spirit of some foreign religion. | ||
+ | It beckoned to him and he came, through the jungle and to a lost | ||
+ | temple. As he neared the temple's entrance he had to do his best to | ||
+ | avoid stepping on the human bones that littered the ground. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The entire time he was in the temple, Malfacto couldn't shake the | ||
+ | feeling that the ever-present skulls turned to watch him. The shade | ||
+ | lead him to the altar at the center of the ossuary. On top was a | ||
+ | table marked with dashes and dots, some alien language. The angel | ||
+ | moved its hand over the markings and they became words in the dwarven | ||
+ | tongue. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Such were the beginnings of Malfacto, and Aliz knew he had to stop | ||
+ | him. No dark wizard would sit on the throne. He ordered the monkeys | ||
+ | made ready. There would be more than jungle monsters to hunt tonight. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ===(24th April, 2012)=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>@/+++ahssGccbGshggg</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | The forest was creepy, dark and deep, but Aliz had far to go before he | ||
+ | reached Malfacto's temple. The monkeys fanned out, beating the bushes | ||
+ | and trees and howling as Aliz loaded a bolt into his crossbow. How | ||
+ | low could a dwarf sink?, he thought. Malfacto the dark wizard. | ||
+ | Malfacto the cannibal cultist. It would all end tonight. | ||
− | + | Something rushed through the bushes, excited by the grey langurs. | |
− | + | Aliz aimed his weapon. It was a rhesus macaque, the eyes of the | |
− | the | + | enemy. The animal just barely dodged the bolt shooting past its left |
− | + | ear. Aliz hooted to his monkeys and they gave chase. | |
− | |||
− | + | When the dwarf monkey master reached the macaque, it wasn't in good | |
+ | shape. Aliz came to it and grabbed it by the chin. He raised its | ||
+ | head to him and stared into its remaining eye. | ||
− | + | "Malfacto," said Aliz, "I know you are in there. Know you will pay | |
− | + | for the life you took, your rightful king." | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | + | - | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | + | "Master?" asked the australopithecus. "Did you have the dream again?" | |
− | + | "The hero is near," said Malfacto, rising from his sarcophagus. | |
− | + | "Ready the apes." | |
− | + | The creature ran from the room panting as the evil wizard brushed the | |
− | + | dust from his robes. Once the champion was dead, nothing would stand | |
− | + | between him and the crown. Slowly, he made his way to the top of the | |
− | + | pyramid. Venomous plants snaked their way all over the stone slabs. | |
− | + | Once at the top, he surveyed his army. Hundreds of simians of all | |
− | + | types and descriptions jumped and howled before the temple. A homo | |
+ | habilis arrived with Malfacto's staff. Taking it, he spoke. | ||
− | + | "Soon they will know to fear our power!" shouted Malfacto. | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | + | A siamang began to hoot and soon all the apes were howling and beating | |
+ | their chests. The jungle was alive with hatred. Aliz could hear them | ||
+ | from almost a league away. It was clear now that the wizard must be | ||
+ | stopped. Aliz could very well be the only dwarf standing between the | ||
+ | fortress and oblivion. | ||
− | + | ==[[User:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]]== | |
+ | ===(7 January 2011)=== | ||
+ | <pre>aa,.a,.W,.%,%%,.T</pre> | ||
− | + | The wizard walked barefoot along the sandy lake bottom, schools of | |
+ | axolotls swimming around his toes. Through the murky water, the | ||
+ | wizard could see the remains of a wrecked ship. The salamanders | ||
+ | guided him through a hole in the wooden hull. In the darkness the | ||
+ | wizard noticed the faintest light. It was coming from a chest half | ||
+ | buried in the sand. | ||
− | + | Before the wizard could open the treasure chest a shock wave shot | |
− | + | through the water, knocking the wizard flat on his back. The ship | |
− | + | tore in half revealing a huge monster covered in waving aquatic | |
− | + | plants. It was the titan of the lake. The axolotls scattered in all | |
− | + | directions. The wizard scuttled backward. He could not speak, making | |
+ | his charms useless. It was to be a battle of flesh and steel. | ||
− | + | ==[[User:Haggle|Haggle]]== | |
+ | ===(18 January 2011)=== | ||
+ | <pre>@@@@++U+%++||,.,.MU,.MU,.MU</pre> | ||
− | + | "Toward the light," cried Sot, master of the moth riders. The | |
− | + | squadron descended in wild corkscrews, falling toward the dwarf | |
− | + | fortress. But Sot had dived too soon. Flaming arrows shot up from | |
− | + | the castle walls, confusing the giant insects. Sot's mount took three | |
− | + | hits and died in mid air. The moth leader took the reins hard and | |
− | + | tried to pull the moth out of a death spiral. He hit the ground hard | |
+ | and rolled across the paved stone, jumping up in a combat stance. | ||
+ | When he saw the two dozen dwarves that approached him, he took off his | ||
+ | chitin helmet, pointed at the closest dwarf and spoke. | ||
− | + | "Let's see what you've got, half-man." | |
− | <pre> | + | ==[[User:Haedrian|Haedrian]]== |
+ | ===(11 August 2011)=== | ||
+ | <pre>++@=@++++</pre> | ||
− | + | Inside or outside, the dwarf fortress was an ugly place. Black smoke | |
− | + | rose from its misshapen stacks, and beneath the menacing gatehouse, | |
− | + | poor hill-dwarves moved under armed guard to bring their offerings to | |
− | + | Count Agak. | |
− | |||
− | + | The Count had long been allergic to light. His case of cave | |
− | + | adaptation was more pronounced than any ever known. His skin was pale | |
− | + | and shot through with spidery veins. His eyes were red and bloodshot. | |
− | + | Even in the dark, he looked sickly, and he never touched a morsel on | |
− | were | + | the feast days. |
− | |||
− | |||
− | The | + | "The Count is a vampire," said Roder. |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | " | + | "Silence," said fair Nel. "What if the guards hear you?" |
− | " | + | "Tell me you aren't suspicious," said Roder. "Have you ever seen the |
+ | Count eat or drink? Or his guards? I don't know if I would even | ||
+ | recognize them underneath their plated armor. No. We need proof. | ||
+ | Then we need deliverance." | ||
− | + | ==[[User:jmullan|jmullan]]== | |
− | + | ===(2 March 2012)=== | |
− | + | (I donated in honor of my friend Zach J's birthday, since he is too afraid to play DF) | |
− | + | <pre>@@||,.,,..,.,U..,uuuuUuu</pre> | |
− | |||
− | + | The dwarf fortress at Mount Hope was once the pride of the empire. | |
− | + | Pilgrims came from every corner of Allsphere to glory in its great | |
− | + | halls and carved pillars. But years pass, and all that shines goes | |
− | of | + | dim. The empire was overthrown and monsters roamed freely through the |
+ | land. Some sought shelter at Mt. Hope and were always turned away. | ||
+ | It was this discourtesy that would spell the doom of the fortress. | ||
− | + | "Will you let us in?" shouted the monk. | |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | + | "No, sir!" laughed the dwarf from the high wall. "Find somewhere else to die." | |
− | + | "Why not just take the little ones?" pleaded the monk. "Even if they | |
+ | were vampires, they couldn't do much harm." | ||
− | + | "Take your lying, no good carcass of my property," said the dwarf, "or | |
+ | I will shoot you down." | ||
− | + | The monk was still for a moment. | |
− | + | "You will find," said the holy man, "that your walls don't protect you | |
+ | from the evils of this world. They were built to hold a greater evil | ||
+ | inside. In time you beg to be let out." | ||
− | They | + | The dwarves pelted the refugees with rocks until they fled. They did |
+ | not give a single thought to the monk's warning, but they would all | ||
+ | remember it when the time came. It was only a matter of days before | ||
+ | the killings started. A dwarf would go missing for a week, then a | ||
+ | body would turn up drained of blood, and that was only the beginning. | ||
− | + | ==[[User:Jupotter|Jupotter]]== | |
+ | ===(3 March 2012)=== | ||
− | + | <pre>////+++U\N+\\\\</pre> | |
− | + | At the top of the great stone temple, the high priest vampire held a | |
+ | bone dagger over the victim under the light of the full moon. The | ||
+ | evil spirit rose over the altar, changing the moonlight to a blood red | ||
+ | hue. Another heartbeat and the victim's eyes snapped open. A scream | ||
+ | tore the night as the final blow fell. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "If it is spring, Grandfather," said the kid, "why are the days getting colder?" | ||
+ | |||
+ | Old man Udma patted the boy on the shoulder. This could only mean one | ||
+ | thing. Gonra had returned. Upon reaching to his hut, Udma found his | ||
+ | hiding place and retrieved the sword Sangrak, the vampire slayer. But | ||
+ | he could no longer wield it. If the world was to be saved, a true | ||
+ | hero must be found. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:Hellrider|Hellrider]]== | ||
+ | ===(12 April 2012)=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>++g+++@@@</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | Goblin master thief Garu picked his way through the irrigation ditch | ||
+ | of the dwarf fortress. The dwarves were fools to leave the floodgate | ||
+ | open during the dry season. There were fewer traps down there. It | ||
+ | wasn't long before he reached the mushroom fields. There were a few | ||
+ | gardeners here and there but nothing that proved much of a challenge. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Once inside, Garu shed his black cloak in exchange for the robes of a | ||
+ | monk of Alak. He passed silently by the dwarves, a long hood hiding | ||
+ | his face. Slowly, he made his way to the meeting hall. There were a | ||
+ | bunch of dwarf youths posing and trying to look tough. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "You are impressive," said Garu. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "What's it to you, holy dwarf?" said the most obnoxious of the dwarves. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "It's just that I heard from Zuglar that you were a weakling and a | ||
+ | coward," said Garu. "He said he'd wait for you in the lower warehouse | ||
+ | if you were dwarf enough." | ||
+ | |||
+ | "You tell that son of an elf I'll be there," shouted the dwarf. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:kurtss|kurtss]]== | ||
+ | ===8 May 2012=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>U|,,.UH-,.,-Bg,,.|</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | The riders aimed their lances. It was to be a contest of skill and | ||
+ | righteousness. The goblin's beak dog chirped and kicked, pawing up | ||
+ | the dirt of the jousting track. Sir Benefact lifted his lance in | ||
+ | salute of Princess Marmalade. Just then the goblin charged. Benefact | ||
+ | had just enough time to wheel around and face his opponent. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Wood snapped as the lance found its mark. Blood shot like a fountain | ||
+ | from Benefact's chest. He collapsed in the saddle, and fell from his | ||
+ | horse. The goblin rode before the princess and gave his salute. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "What is your name, Sir knight?" asked Marmalade. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Masterdad," said the goblin. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Then, Sir Masterdad," said the princess, "you are the new champion." | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==[[User:landrus|landrus]]== | ||
+ | ===25 May 2012=== | ||
+ | |||
+ | <pre>gggg,.-,.@.==@,.@,-.ggggg</pre> | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Death comes with the sun," was the call. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Goblins lined every hill and tree line. Evil impulses made their | ||
+ | muscles pop and twitch. It had been weeks since they had any fresh | ||
+ | flesh, longer still since they had any loot to fight over. The bigger | ||
+ | ones imagined the things they would take. The smaller ones imagined | ||
+ | stabbing the bigger ones in the back and taking it for themselves. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The dwarf caravan had come to a halt in Wicked Forest as one of the | ||
+ | wagons had broken down. They hadn't the parts so Kobem ordered the | ||
+ | wood cutters to fashion some from the local trees. As the day dragged | ||
+ | on the dwarves began to see a night in Wicked Forest as a real | ||
+ | possibility. They worked into the night, all the while coyotes and | ||
+ | other spooky animals called and brayed. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "I have never been so grateful to see the sun," said Sigun. | ||
+ | |||
+ | No kidding, thought Kobem. He had been working underground, | ||
+ | organizing this caravan for seven weeks. When he finally saw daylight | ||
+ | he was sick for two days. Now in the predawn light, Kobem was indeed | ||
+ | grateful. Who knows how many night creatures haunted this ill-named | ||
+ | forest. The first rays of the sun fell across the wagons. Sigun | ||
+ | turned, smiling at his master. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Blood splattered across Kobem's chest. Kobem froze as Sigun's body | ||
+ | sank to the ground in slow motion. Firebrands and sling bullets | ||
+ | landed among the dwarves. Kobem collected his wits and dove under the | ||
+ | nearest wagon. It couldn't be kobolds. They were never this brazen. | ||
+ | Goblins then. Their leader had guile to attack when they least | ||
+ | expected it. | ||
− | + | Now all Kobem needed was a crossbow. He looked out from beneath the | |
+ | wagon at the body of a fallen marks-dwarf still clutching his weapon | ||
+ | in his dead hands. Kobem launched from his hiding place, racing past | ||
+ | struggling goblins and dwarves. Almost there, Kobem was blocked by a | ||
+ | stocky goblin in full plated armor. Angry eyes burned behind the | ||
+ | visor. | ||
+ | |||
+ | The evil knight struck first, bringing his iron mace down onto Kobem's | ||
+ | skull. It was a glancing blow, but messy. Kobem fell to one knee. | ||
+ | The knight sucked in a breath and raised his weapon once more. That | ||
+ | was when Kobem drove his fist into the fighter's lower body, smashing | ||
+ | vital organs. Kobem grabbed him by the chest plate and slammed him to | ||
+ | the ground. He picked up the mace and flipped the knight's visor | ||
+ | open. | ||
+ | |||
+ | "Urist?" asked Kobem. |