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[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
{{unversioned}}
 
  
 
==[[User:Geoffrey|Geoffrey]]==
 
==[[User:Geoffrey|Geoffrey]]==
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but maybe they would make an exception for the bravest warrior the
 
but maybe they would make an exception for the bravest warrior the
 
world had to offer.
 
world had to offer.
 
 
==[[User:Goblin Cookie|Goblin Cookie]]==
 
===(21st September 2014)===
 
<pre>NN|+++MD+++|</pre>
 
 
Fire blasted from the great reptile's nostrils.  The minotaur wasted
 
no time and lifted the tree trunk it used as a club and charged the
 
dragon.  It smashed the dragon's chest before it could breathe fire.
 
The dragon latched onto the minotaur's arm with its teeth and the two
 
fell to the ground and rolled across the floor of the arena.
 
 
“All your pets are terrible, my lord,” said Destra.  “It is because
 
you teach them to fight from the moment they are born.  They know
 
nothing of love.”
 
 
“How does one love a minotaur or a dragon?” asked dread wizard Suffar.
 
 
“I would find a way,” said Destra, “or you will surely pay for
 
populating the world with monsters.”
 
 
The minotaur snapped the dragon's neck with a twist of its muscular
 
arm.  Suffar would reward it with a feast and then send it back to the
 
labyrinth before nightfall.  The wizard had invited the witch, Destra,
 
to the contest thinking she would be impressed enough to share the
 
secret of her magic with him.
 
 
“I would like to visit the labyrinth,” said Destra.
 
 
“You have an eye for the magical,” said Suffar.  “The labyrinth was
 
once the dungeon of a great dwarf fortress.  I have yet to explore all
 
of its mysteries.”
 
 
===(3rd February 2016)===
 
<pre>kN|####  +++N++M+</pre>
 
 
The ruins of the dwarf fortress stood on a hill at the center of the Forbidden Forest.  Great columns of stone stood alone, holding up nothing but the uncaring sky.  The gate was smashed open, inviting the adventurous to their deaths.  Destra looked down into the depths with excitement.  She loved Suffar's monsters.  Perhaps more than even he did.  The minotaur could be heard breathing inside his blackened maze.  Suffar invited the witch inside then collapsed the tunnel behind her!
 
 
“You will pay for this, Suffar!” cried Destra.
 
 
All she heard outside was laughter.  The great stone blocks were too heavy for her to move, even with magic.  The minotaur had awakened and was hunting her now.  Destra had to think quickly or she would become the meal of a carnivorous human cow.  She ran through the labyrinth, trying to picture the twists and turns in her mind.  It was no use.  Soon she was face to face with the minotaur.
 
 
Far away, Suffar had just arrived at his tower on the back of a giant nuthatch.  He slid off of the bird's saddle and leaped through the window and into his secret laboratory.  It was a shame that he had to feed Destra to the minotaur, but she was not cooperating.  Not fast enough for his designs anyway.
 
 
“Bacabadabis!” shouted Suffar.
 
 
Out from a crevice in the wall came the wizard's pet kobold.  It carried the latest scroll the kobolds had pilfered from the dwarves' trade caravan.  Soon all the pieces would come together.  He was trying to learn the ancient language of Axolar, the foundation of all magic in this dimension.  The key was the dwarves.  They had all the clues, but were unwilling, or too stupid, to put them to use.
 
 
Soon Suffar would be the last wizard left in the world.  Once he had the power, the dwarves would bend to his will and create for him the ultimate artifact.  He wanted to create life, not another monster, but a companion worthy enough to be his partner.  Only then would he be at peace.
 
 
===(27th March 2018)===
 
<pre>kN|kN|####  +++N++M+</pre>
 
 
“Yes,” said Destra, “I promise you revenge.”
 
 
“I will eat him,” said the minotaur.  “Then I will eat you.”
 
 
“It's a deal!” said Destra.
 
 
The monster guided the witch out of the cave.  With all its strength, the minotaur pushed the boulders aside and he and the witch stepped out into the night air.  The witch cast a spell and traced the wizard's path through the ether.  They followed the magical trail north.
 
 
Over stream and under the trees the pair closed in on the wizard's tower.  Meanwhile Suffar order his kobold to hunt for dwarven treasure once more.  He was on the brink of a breakthrough.  All he needed was one more artifact, one more vision into the true nature of magic.
 
 
It had been several days, and the kobold had yet to return.  Suffar was becoming concerned.  Then there was a knock at the door.  The wizard made his way down the long spiral staircase.  “I'm coming.  I'm coming!  Settle down!” grumbled the wizard as he reached to door at last.  Opening it, he saw a tall, cloaked figure.
 
 
“I have come for you,” said the stranger.
 
 
===(3rd January 2020)===
 
<pre>kN|++N+M+U+N+k</pre>
 
 
“Oh Lady of Darkness,” whimpered Suffar.  “I meant to summon you earlier, but it was my kobold's birthday and I...”
 
 
“Enough excuses!” said the demon mistress.  “I knew you were collecting magic powers to bind me, but you are too late.  I have arrived.”
 
 
“But how?” asked Suffar.
 
 
The kobold appeared from behind the demon's robes.  That rascal had intoned the rites of summoning without him.  Now all was lost. 
 
 
The wizard groveled before Mistress of All Evil.  Maybe there was still a way out of this nightmare, something in the contract he had signed to make the legal mumbo-jumbo null and void. 
 
 
He had to think.  Then to answer came to him.
 
 
It was the nature of demons to play the long game.  Their machinations took decades to resolve.  Suffar didn't have that kind of time. 
 
 
He knew that sooner than latter the demon would find him of no use and send him spiraling down into the Netherworld.  His only chance was to find Destra, if she still lived. 
 
 
So when the demon locked the door to the library behind her, Suffar slipped out of castle.
 
 
The ruined dwarf fortress was only around the next bend in the road.  Suffar began going over the language that he would use to convince Destra that feeding her to the minotaur was just a big mistake. 
 
 
When he arrived at the entrance to the labyrinth he found the the stone had been rolled away.  Now he was in serious trouble.  Someone behind him cleared their throat.
 
 
“You have a lot of nerve coming back here.”
 
 
It was Destra alright, and with her was the hulking minotaur looking hungry as ever.  His jaw jabbering, Suffar tried to quickly describe the trouble he was in. Nay, the trouble they were all in.
 
 
“Your kobold summoned the Princess of Darkness?” asked Destra.
 
 
The pair of magic users and the reluctant minotaur returned to the castle.  The cow man was none to happy to arrive back at the place where he had been created. 
 
 
The minotaur wiped the tears from his eyes and promised himself he was have his revenge.
 
 
“Bacabadabis,” said the demon, as she stirred the thick goo inside the magic cauldron, “I think this is the start of a magical friendship.”
 
 
Yapping with alarm, the kobold pointed over the demon's shoulder.  Before she could react, the monster lifted her up by the neck and tossed her into the black metal bowl. 
 
 
Suffar was relieved that he was now free, until he looked up to see the cow monster standing over him.
 
 
“Your bones will make a good stew,” said the minotaur as he mixed the substance that was Suffar and the demon with a giant ladle.
 
 
Watching with horror, the kobold bolted toward the door.  Destra pointed her finger and a bolt of lightning struck the tiny monster.  After the dust cleared there was nothing left behind but a long, pink-tailed rat.
 
 
“Are you going to eat that?” asked the minotaur.
 
 
THE END
 
  
 
==[[User:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]]==
 
==[[User:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]]==
Line 217: Line 101:
  
 
Dressing himself in his magic robe, the wizard stepped out of the tower window.  He let himself fall for a few seconds, letting the refreshing breeze blow through his long gray hair.  Then he transformed into a red tailed hawk.  His idea was to travel to the capital of Assura and hire a hero or two to slay the titan.  Just getting to the city would prove a task difficult enough to call on his considerable skills.
 
Dressing himself in his magic robe, the wizard stepped out of the tower window.  He let himself fall for a few seconds, letting the refreshing breeze blow through his long gray hair.  Then he transformed into a red tailed hawk.  His idea was to travel to the capital of Assura and hire a hero or two to slay the titan.  Just getting to the city would prove a task difficult enough to call on his considerable skills.
 
===(13 June 2015)===
 
<pre>""",.Gm,."",</pre>
 
 
It was impossible, even for a hawk, to reach the capital before nightfall.  It was suicide to stay in the air after sundown.  The titan, Hetain, controlled an armada of flying night creatures.  Instead, the wizard dove into the trees and landed in the jungle.  There he took the shape of a mighty gorilla.  The night creatures would be foolish to mess with him now.
 
 
“Hey, gorilla,” said a voice in the evening wind.  “I know what you are carrying.”
 
 
“Show yourself,” growled the wizard.
 
 
A tiny rodent scurried out of the brush and onto a patch of moss next to one of the wizard's impressive forearms.  Closer inspection revealed that it was actually a mouse man, servant of one of the other three titans.  The wizard told the mouse man to speak his piece quickly, for any minute they would be mobbed by vengeful night creatures.
 
 
“I serve almighty Domon and his chariot in the sky,” said the mouse man.  “Lend me the pearl and I will ensure your victory.”
 
 
===(22 July 2015)===
 
<pre>""."",.G->g.,.,~~~~~</pre>
 
 
So, Domon sought the pearl as well.  The wizard should not have been surprised that the word of his conquest had spread so quickly.  Now the wizard must be doubly careful.  While Hetain controlled the night, Domon ruled everything under the sun and the eternal vault of sky. 
 
 
The giant gorilla shifted his weight unto his knuckles and howled at the mouse man. It was clear that the wizard had made his decision.  He would trust no titan.  The mouse man ran for his life.  This move would not go unanswered, for Domon was a vengeful titan. 
 
 
The wizard couldn't stay in the jungle forever, hiding from the angry rays of the sun.  He moved to the edge of the final treeline and looked out over the rolling plains of Slusia.  Assura was there, just beyond the horizon.  Stopping to think for a moment, the giant gorilla scratched its forehead.  At last the wizard decided on a shape, transforming himself into a speedy gazelle.
 
 
===(20 August 2015)===
 
<pre>ccc.,\W,|@</pre>
 
 
Not one.  Not two.  But, three cheetahs took off running after the wizard as he bounded across the plain.  The titan, Domon, meant business.  As Hetain controlled the night, Domon ruled the day.  None of it would matter if he reached the dwarf fortress of Assura.  Jumping just in time to avoid a pouncing wild cat, the wizard narrowly avoided death.  He ducked and rolled and transformed once again into human shape, wielding a longsword.  The cheetahs stopped where they were as the wizard had reached the gates of Assura.
 
 
“Open the gates, I say,” boomed the wizard.
 
 
“Who gives a command to free dwarves?” answered the guards-dwarf.
 
 
“It is I,” said the wizard, “Suffar the Mighty.”
 
 
Even the dwarves of Assura had heard tales of the great Suffar.  Not all good, it must be said.  Suffar was a rogue and a trickster.  The dwarves watched as the cheetahs circled the wizard, waiting for the moment to strike.  Maybe they wouldn't have to open the gates after all.
 
 
 
===(23 September 2015)===
 
<pre>Wo+++@|</pre>
 
 
Holding up the magic pearl, Suffar demanded to be let in a third time.  The greed of the dwarves was not easy to measure.  It seemed they would do anything to acquire the smallest treasure.  Suffar stepped through the gates with a final sneer at his pursuers.  As the gates shut, the cheetahs disappeared in puffs of smoke.
 
 
“Is that Hetain's magic pearl?” demanded the noble dwarf.
 
 
“One and the same,” said Suffar, dropping the pearl back into his pocket.
 
 
“The titans would offer a king's ransom for that treasure,” said the dwarf.
 
 
“And I will offer twice that amount to the hero that slays Hetain,” countered Suffar.
 
 
It was much to consider, coming between titans and wizards.  It meant almost certain death to the dwarves involved.  This mattered little to the hero class, a group of dwarves raised since birth to laugh at danger.  It was at the Temple of Bravery that Suffar met Kogan, the mightiest of the dwarves.
 
 
“Will you kill Hetain for me?” asked Suffar.
 
 
“I have been waiting for a challenge worthy of my blade,” said Kogan.
 
 
===(24 October 2015)===
 
<pre>###NB######|W+@|##</pre>
 
 
The two never actually agreed on a price.  Kogan instead offered to go with Suffar if he led him to glory and death.  The wizard agreed, knowing it was not a quest for a hero who still possessed reason.  There would be no coming back from the titan's lake.  All Suffar could do was help his new friend along his final journey.
 
 
“Is it far?” asked Kogan.  “These legs weren't made for walking.”
 
 
“Fear not, little one,” said Suffar, “I will summon the appropriate steeds.”
 
 
Standing on the tallest tower of the castle, Suffar spoke to the wind, whilst Kogan watched with interest.  After a time, the wizard pointed to the horizon.  To specks appeared which grew steadily larger.  They were a pair of giant birds.  One was an enormous female nuthatch, while the other was a bushtit, the size of a bull.  The dwarf stood back, wielding his axe.
 
 
“Fear not,” said Suffar.  “These creatures will take us to the hated lake of Hetain.”
 
 
“Fear is not in my vocabulary,” said Kogan.  “I will do anything to speed the march of doom and final destiny.”
 
 
===(30 November 2015)===
 
<pre>,.@*W,.    ?D?</pre>
 
 
It was more than a day's journey back to the titan's lake and the giant birds would be no good against the creatures Hetain had prepared for them.  Kogan watched the terrain unfolding beneath him with wonder.  The world seemed so much smaller than it had been.  The birds flew quickly, knowing that at any moment, Domon might spy them from his chariot in the sky.
 
 
“Dive for those trees, Kogan,” said Suffar.  “I fear that Domon has found us.”
 
 
The dwarf kicked the sides of his giant bushtit and the bird dove for the forest canopy.  Kogan looked behind him to see a bright green dragon pursuing him.  Suffar was nowhere to be found.  Jumping off his steed before the jet of flames hit him, Kogan grabbed at tree branches as he fell through the air.
 
 
“Wake up, brave dwarf,” said the wizard.
 
 
Opening his eyes, Kogan found that he had indeed survived.  Suffar had built a fire in a small clearing beneath the stars.  Here they waited for Hetain's creatures to attack.
 
 
===(18 December 2015)===
 
<pre>,A.,\@*W</pre>
 
 
The first night creature to attack was an ape-like creature with a single eye in the center of its forehead.  Kogan was ready, battleaxe in hand.  The creature huffed and puffed.  Its issue was not with the dwarf, but with the scheming wizard, but Kogan would not allow the creature to advance.  Finally, the creature sat back on its haunches and held its arms in a pose of tranquility.
 
 
“Shall you let us pass?” asked Suffar.
 
 
“You have my master's property,” said the ape.  “You must die for your crimes.”
 
 
“What if we returned the treasure in person?” asked the wizard.  “I'm sure my friend here would love to meet the great and mighty Hetain.”
 
 
The ape struck like a snake, but Kogan was faster.  The night creature hit the ground, bleeding from a savage and mortal wound.  The adventurers watched with wonder as the creature's body transformed into the body of a dead dwarf.
 
 
“What have I done?” asked Kogan.
 
 
===(22 January 2016)===
 
<pre>W@.T"T"~~~~~~~~~</pre>
 
 
“It is because of Hetain that this poor dwarf suffered,” said Suffar.  “You have only done him a mercy.”
 
 
“You said nothing of killing my own kind,” protested Kogan.
 
 
“It will get worse before the end,” said the wizard.  “You must be strong.  Don't let Hetain's evil confuse your heart and mind.”
 
 
That night they buried the dead dwarf and Kogan prayed for his soul.  Strangely, no more creatures attacked.  It was as if Hetain knew he now had the upper hand and would toy with the adventurers.  Suffar wondered if he had made a mistake enlisting the help of a dwarven hero.  Maybe a true mercenary was called for.
 
 
“Hetain will pay for what he has done,” said Kogan.  “You can rest assured of that.”
 
 
The lake was just on the other side of a screen of trees.  Kogan had the look of grim determination but Suffar wasn't entirely sure he trusted him.  Taking on the titan was an act for the insane brave.  While Kogan was clearly not stable, Suffar still didn't know which way his blade would cut.
 
 
===(28 February 2016)===
 
<pre>W..@.,.,NNNNN~~~~A~~~~~</pre>
 
 
“Who are they?” asked Kogan.
 
 
“They are the dwarves of the once powerful fortress of Etwersbrot,” said Suffar.  “They worship Hetain now.”
 
 
A horde of misshapen monsters ringed the lake, holding hands.  Some them had three arms.  Some had two heads.  They were all monstrous and terrifying.  Kogan knew that they were once dwarves.  He wished with all his might that he could forget that knowledge and slay them cleanly.  Now every dead monster was simply murder.
 
 
The chanting of the monsters intensified with the rising of the moon.  There was a bubbling vortex at the center of the lake.  Soon the giant axolotl appeared, rising magically above the water.  The monsters prostrated themselves before the titan.  It was Kogan's chance.  Suffar tapped him on the shoulder and he rose, stepping out into the moonlight.
 
 
“Hetain,” shouted Kogan, “why are you trying to control my people?”
 
 
===(26 March 2016)===
 
<pre>W,.NNNN,.@/(((((A)))))</pre>
 
 
“The pearl belongs to me,” said the giant salamander.  “The villain you work for is no more than a thief.  I stand on the side of the righteous.”
 
 
“It is righteous to turn my kin into monsters?” shouted Kogan.  “I have shed the blood of my blood because of you.  Are you listening, oh dwarves of Etwersbrot?  Serve not this coward and let him fight his own battles!”
 
 
The monsters stopped their chanting and stepped aside as Kogan approached the water's edge.  Hetain looked nervous.  His slaves had never rebelled before.  The dwarf stood before the titan, holding his battle axe at the ready.  Hetain called on the power of the outer darkness, creating a vortex in the water below him.  Suffar saw the danger and began chanting to counter the spell.  The little dwarf was in more danger than he knew.  Hetain was opening a portal to a dimension of ultimate evil.
 
 
===(27 April 2016)===
 
<pre>W,..,~~~@/~~&&&&&&&</pre>
 
 
Seeing that now was the time to act, Kogan charged passed the confused looking monsters and into the lake.  Suffar spoke a charm and the water became solid as ice where Kogan stepped.  He ran across the lake toward the giant salamander.  The vortex at the center of the lake was growing larger.  A strange howling could be heard from within, like the terrible screams of all of those being tortured in the underworld.
 
 
“You have done my kin ill,” pronounced Kogan as he raised his axe.  “Prepare to die.”
 
 
Entrails poured into the dimensional portal as Kogan gutted the monstrous titan with a great stroke of his blade.  The guts acted as chum, attracting the most hungry of demons up from the depths.  Kogan staggered backward as the monsters blasted up and out into the world of the living.
 
 
“What have you done?” muttered Suffar.
 
 
===(30 May 2016)===
 
<pre>@.,@.,@@,.@.&&&&&&&&&&&&&&.W~~@~~</pre>
 
 
Hundreds of dwarves, finding that they now wore their own bodies, had to quickly stop celebrating and run for their lives.  A black fountain of evil blasted up from the center of the lake where Kogan had been standing seconds before.  Dark, winged shapes gathered in the sky above.
 
 
“Mul-o-rom, Sul-o-rom,” chanted Suffar as he dragged Kogan's body away from the water.
 
 
The demons had not noticed the wizard yet, choosing instead to fly after the fleeing dwarves.  Suffar could not help but think that this was all his fault.  The mess he had created was bigger than just a stolen pearl.  The entire world was in peril.  He had to seek out Domon, in the Palace of the Rising Sun.
 
 
===(1 July 2016)===
 
<pre>N%,..W@,.</pre>
 
 
“Where is the sun?” asked Kogan as he awoke.
 
 
“There has been a lasting darkness since Hetain died,” said Suffar.
 
 
“Then we have won,” exclaimed Kogan.
 
 
A dizzy spell forced Kogan to lie back down.  “It's a bit more complicated than that,” said Suffar.  The stars twinkled as giant bat-like creatures passed through the sky.  Kogan turned to witness a horrible sight just a stone's throw away.  Three demons were feasting on the body of a dead dwarf.  They were more horrible than the night creatures of Hetain.
 
 
“They can't see us,” said Suffar.  “Rest, my friend.”
 
 
“There must be a way to stop them,” whispered Kogan.  “You said something about Domon, and the sky chariot.”
 
 
“I'm afraid the sun has set forever,” said Suffar.  “The four titans cannot help us now.”
 
 
“There must be something we can do?” asked the dwarf hero.
 
 
“Yes,” said Suffar.  “As long as we hold the pearl there is hope.”
 
 
===(31 July 2016)===
 
<pre>.,,.NN..,</pre>
 
 
“The magic doorway will close,” said Suffar, “if we cast Hetain's magic pearl back through the demon gate.”
 
 
“Then do it,” exclaimed Kogan, suffering from another fainting spell.
 
 
“Who ever should cast in the pearl shall die,” said Suffar.
 
 
“Then give it to me,” said Kogan.  “I care not for my own life.”
 
 
“That much in obvious,” said Suffar, “but you cannot be the one.  Look at your body.”
 
 
Straining to sit up, Kogan was horrified to see that his body was a mere skeleton, barely held together by bits of sinew.  Suffar used his magic to keep Kogan alive, but it was only a kind of half-life.  Once the pearl was cast, Kogan too would die.
 
 
“Then if you will not stand up and save the world,” asked Kogan, “who will?”
 
 
“We must find the fourth titan,” said Suffar.  “He lives in a tower deep in the Garum.”
 
 
“Not Darquan the Deadly,” shouted Kogan.  “That wicked old man would never make the sacrifice.”
 
 
“We have no other choice,” said Suffar.
 
 
===(20 September 2016)===
 
<pre>""N"N.".,|N+++|</pre>
 
 
Deep in the Garum it was unusually cold.  The sun hadn't risen for three days and the plants were beginning to die.  Kogan could see the light of a candle in the top room of the tower a way's off in the marsh.  Suffar explained to the skeletal dwarf that he should do the talking.  The master of the tower was Darquan the Deadly, one of four cosmic titans that had existed since the dawn of time. 
 
 
The wizard of the tower was twisted and evil.  He had exhausted every physical pleasure in a search for the ultimate experience.  The truth was, now he was bored and wished for the eternal nothingness that awaited his extinction.  But if there was one thing that kept Darquan breathing it was his jealous hatred for all living things.
 
 
“Who dares disturb my meditation?” came a voice from above.
 
 
Looking up the dark wet stones of the tower, Kogan could see a pale bald head trailing long white whiskers.  Suffar shouted back, explaining the death of Hetain and the demon gateway.  The wizard's head disappeared and there was a click at the solid wood door before them, which swung open by itself.
 
 
===(1 October 2016)===
 
<pre>|NCN+++?N?|</pre>
 
 
The snake was fast, but Suffar was faster.  As the door opened, a king cobra snake man shot his long neck out toward the wizard's face.  He dodged to the right and seized the serpent man's throat.  Darquan was a coward to leave his minions in charge of greeting the adventurers.
 
 
“Come forth, dark titan,” said Suffar, “or I will break your pet's neck.”
 
 
While Suffar shouted at the open door, the snake man reached with his long articulated arm and pulled a dagger from one of its many belts.  Just as it was about to push the blade in, the skeletal dwarf stepped out from behind the wizard and chopped at the snake man's wrist.
 
 
“That'sss cheating!” complained the cobra man.
 
 
“Save your whining for your master,” said Suffar.  “That is, if the coward is brave enough to show his face.”
 
 
“You have the pearl?” came a voice from above.  “Show it to me!”
 
 
===(7 November 2016)===
 
<pre>|No+N+++N<|</pre>
 
 
“Only you can save the world now,” shouted Suffar as he held the pearl over his head.
 
 
“Hetain's Pearl,” said Darquan.  “You are a naughty wizard.”
 
 
The candlelight vanished from the window as Darquan descended the hundreds of steps of the dark tower.  It seemed like ages later when he appeared in the doorway.  “Let Anthony go,” commanded the evil wizard.  Suffar released the cobra man who disappeared back into the tower.
 
 
“Who is your friend?” asked Darquan, indicating the skeletal dwarf.
 
 
“This is Kogan,” said Suffar, “Slayer of Hetain.”
 
 
“You can do better for a titan slayer than this, surely,” said Darquan.
 
 
The serpent wizard began chanting in the ancient tongue of magic.  The wind began to blow and stir up muddy water and dead vegetation.  The muck attached itself to Kogan's skeleton and soon he began to resemble a living dwarf.
 
 
“Now, Kogan,” said Darquan, “your body belongs to me.  Take the pearl from Suffar and give it to me!”
 
 
===(11 November 2016)===
 
<pre>CNoNN</pre>
 
 
Using his bracers to block a series of strikes and thrusts, Suffar desperately resisted as Kogan tried to wrestle the pearl from him.  Anthony returned wielding a pair of swords.  The dwarf grabbed the wizard around the legs and tackled him to the ground.  The snake man held his blades to Suffar's throat.  It was over.
 
 
“And now,” said Darquan, “the pearl, if you please?”
 
 
Reaching into his robe, Suffar withdrew the shining pearl.  Darquan's eyes lit up with joy.  Whoever possessed the pearl held sway over the hand of Fate.  Having exhausted the frivolous pleasures of this world, Darquan would use the pearl to enhance his hedonistic lifestyle.  With glee, he snatched the pearl out of Suffar's hand.
 
 
“You will know, before the end,” said Suffar, “what you have to do.”
 
 
===(5 January 2017)===
 
<pre>NB,B..,N+C</pre>
 
 
“Slay him,” commanded Darquan.
 
 
Anthony the snake man brought his sword blade down onto the wizard's neck, but recoiled when his weapon clashed against the stone floor of the tower.  Suffar's robes lay empty on the ground, but the wizard was nowhere to be found.  Darquan hollered with disapproval.  Kogan stood up and brushed the dirt off his chest.
 
 
“You, dwarf!” shouted Darquan.  “Stop standing around like a moron and find the wizard.”
 
 
A pair of giant bats landed at the base of the tower.  They were fitted with saddles and Kogan had the impression that his new master, Darquan, wanted him to ride.  He climbed up the hairy bat and sat astride its back.
 
 
“That rascal can't get far without the pearl,” said Darquan.  “Find him, and snuff out his life!”
 
 
===(9 February 2017)===
 
<pre>k####@B##CB##</pre>
 
 
The pair of giant bats launched out of the tower with Kogan and Anthony the snake man on their backs.  The dwarf's vision was excellent at night, due to a long life underground.  However, he could see nothing in the marsh but wildlife.  He called over to Anthony and the snake man replied.
 
 
“He has changed himself into a bird or beast,” shouted Anthony.
 
 
“How will I know him?” asked Kogan.
 
 
“He is the only beast that does not fear the power of Darquan,” said Anthony.
 
 
The snake man held up his staff and the end began to glow an ominous red.  All around, beneath them, the animals froze in place, the birds so much as freezing in mid flight and falling into the murky water.  There was one that still flew, a kingfisher!
 
 
“That's him!” cried Kogan.
 
 
===(12 March 2017)===
 
<pre>~~@%%~~</pre>
 
 
Cackling with glee, Darquan watched through his crystal ball as the two giant bat riders chased down the tiny bird.  They dove and pounced on the bird at once and there was a scuffle as the group splashed into the water.  Darquan was giddy with anticipation.  When the fight subsided, Kogan stood up holding the body of a dead bird, but Anthony was stricken dead.  The snake man had been in Darquan's employ for many years, but the evil old man could not find it in himself to shed a single tear.
 
 
“Bring me the carcass,” commanded Darquan.  “We will feast on kingfisher tonight!”
 
 
Throwing a cloth over the crystal ball, Darquan retired to his private chamber to contemplate the pearl.  Something was wrong.  The pearl had taken on a dim brown color.  Gone was its magical luster.  The wizard was furious.  He charged back into his laboratory and awaited Kogan's return.  There had to be some sort of explanation, and without question, someone would pay.
 
 
===(13 April 2017)===
 
<pre>++@+=%=N+++</pre>
 
 
The dwarf met Darquan in the feast hall below the wizard's tower.  The old man commanded that the dead bird be plucked and roasted on a spit.  As Kogan made himself busy preparing the meal, Darquan returned to fuss over the blackened pearl of Hetain.  A short time later, Kogan announced that the meal was ready.
 
 
“Here's to you, Suffar,” said Darquan, raising his stein glass.  After chewing on a few strange tasting morsels, the wizard realized he had been tricked.  He stood up from the table and threw his arms out to the side, calling on his power to reveal the treachery.  There, on the table, was the partially devoured body of Anthony the snake man.
 
 
“Suffar,” shouted Darquan, “you will pay for this if I must strike at you with my last breath!”
 
 
===(16 May 2017)===
 
<pre>@N...N(OOO)</pre>
 
 
The was a ringing sound coming from the laboratory.  Darquan stomped into the room and pulled the cloth from the crystal ball.  There was Suffar, standing on the beach near the portal to the dimension of ultimate evil.  Beyond words and consumed with hatred, Darquan could only stand and stare as Suffar beckoned to him.  The evil wizard called for Kogan and had the giant bats made ready for takeoff once again.
 
 
“It's a trick, boss,” said Kogan.
 
 
“Don't speak,” said Darquan.  “You know nothing save what I have taught you.”
 
 
They were airborne a short time later.  There was still a huge maelstrom over Hetain's lake and the pair had to land their bats far from shore.  Darquan landed behind a grassy hill which he scuttled up to spy on the portal from afar.  There was Suffar, strutting back and forth before the portal as freely as you please.
 
 
“You will never have the pearl,” said Darquan under his breath.
 
 
===(18 June 2017)===
 
<pre>@.N.o.(OOO).oN</pre>
 
 
"He means to trick you," said Kogan.  "All he wants is the pearl!"
 
 
"I have had enough of your talk!" shouted Darquan.
 
 
There was a flash of light and where once stood Kogan the dwarf, there was now a statue made of stone.  Darquan instantly regretted his action.  Not only had he lost a needed ally, but he had also given away his position.  He stood up and saw Suffar down by the lake, beckoning to him.
 
 
"You will never have the pearl!" declared Darquan as he stalked down to where Suffar was standing, near the portal to ultimate evil.
 
 
"You mean this pearl?" asked Suffar, withdrawing the shiny pearl from his pocket.
 
 
With a sudden sinking feeling, Darquan reached into his robe and held out the clouded brown pearl.  Driven by anger and outrage, Darquan cast the pearl into the maelstrom.  Suffar twirled, flaring out his cloak and disappearing in a puff of smoke.  The portal began to disappear.  Darquan could feel his heart sputtering and giving its last beat.  He had been tricked for the final time.
 
 
===(29 July 2017)===
 
<pre>..N%..</pre>
 
Suffar rested by the lake, meditating on all that had passed. The pearl was gone, but so were the malevolent titans that sought to use it for evil. Now the stars could resume their course through the sky and Domon could chase the moon in his fiery chariot. After a good long time, Suffar stood and noticed the statue of Kogan for what seemed like the first time. The stoney eyes seemed to follow him as he approached.
 
 
“Darquan used the power of the pearl to keep you alive,” said Suffar. “If I restore you, you will die.”
 
 
The statue blinked once.
 
 
Calling on all his power, Suffar reversed Darquan's curse. Kogan began to move, struggling to breathe, then collapsed. Suffar held his hand as he died. It was as it should be. Kogan had taken the life of a titan and had to pay the price. He would be with the heroes in Nullset now.
 
 
Darquan would be there too, no doubt struggling to return. Suffar would be there to meet him. It was to this end that Suffar had made his vow. The harmony of Nature must be preserved.
 
 
THE END
 
 
===New Story (27 August 2017)===
 
<pre>@&\@H...UH.</pre>
 
 
Who would throw away such a beautiful baby?  The basket had come down the Apagan river.  From Etwersbrot.  Ever since the outbreak of hostilities, people had looked to the magic city for hope and inspiration.  Now they were flinging their offspring into the river.  It was a time that would one day be called the Second Nightmare Apocalypse.
 
 
“More demons ahead, Omak,” said the old knight.
 
 
“I see them!” shouted Omak as the pair charged down the caravan trail.
 
 
The most promising rider Sir Twan had ever seen, Omak was a dwarf from the south. He served in the garrison of Akkadin before the Evil One came.  In the chaos that followed, Omak stole a pony and ran for the hills.  That was where Twan found him.
 
 
“Don't worry Master,” said Omak.  “This one is mine.”
 
 
The monster wasn't used to the rules that governed this world.  Its ungainly limbs smacked against the dirt as it struggled to get away.  Omak smacked the flanks of his dark pony and then lifted his blade to strike.  The creature looked back just in time to get a face of steel.  A fountain of black blood shot up from the ruined head of the monster.
 
 
“I did it,” cried Omak.
 
 
“Excellent,” said Twan.  “I'll make a Beast Maimer of you yet!”
 
 
“What's it got in its arms?” asked Omak
 
 
“A dwarven child!” shouted Twan.
 
 
===(25 September 2017)===
 
<pre>!!@!!</pre>
 
 
“Do you think the babe is from that village, yonder?” asked Omak.
 
 
“If so, all her kin are dead,” said Sir Twan.
 
 
The beast maimers returned to the city of Otla, to seek a home for the child.  There were electrical storms all night.  Unforeseen to all knights of the realm, the evil Cenaster had been slain, and with his death the Earth had been cast adrift in the cosmic ether.  The child cried and cried.  At last, the warlord would see them.
 
 
“You say you rescued the babe from a demon?” asked Lord Saster.
 
 
“She is marked with magic power,” said Sir Twan, “and destined for greatness!”
 
 
“Then you and Omak will raise her as a Beast Maimer,” said Saster.
 
 
It was a great honor, and a great responsibility.  Omak found a room for the baby in the castle.  There was still the need for a name.  Sir Twan sought to name her after the great city where she was found.
 
 
“She shall be named Otilla,” said the knight.
 
 
===(28 October 2017)===
 
<pre>.@.@..</pre>
 
 
As great a fighter as master Omak was a rider, Otilla had grown up and found her place among the Beast Maimers.  Every morning at dawn the Maimers would sally forth from Otla Castle and search for demons to slay.  The creatures may have stopped pouring into this world since the death of Cenaster, but enough had made their through that a special effort was required to wipe them off the face of the Earth.
 
 
“Grandfather Twan?” asked Otilla as she arrived at the meeting place.  “Where is Master Omak?”
 
 
“Omak has gone to speak with the head of our order,” said Twan.  “He has yet to return.”
 
 
“He has gone to see mighty Bram?” asked Otilla with excitement.  “Is the champion coming here?”
 
 
The monster of Otla Hill was the Maimers' greatest shame.  They had cleared out the Forbidden Forest and slain enough demons to keep the King's Highway open from Etwersbrot to Akkadin.  Still, no knight was brave enough, or skilled enough in the martial arts, to take on the Otla Hill monster. 
 
 
“He has come to slay the monster,” said Otilla.  “I know it!”
 
  
 
==[[User:Haedrian|Haedrian]]==
 
==[[User:Haedrian|Haedrian]]==
Line 740: Line 224:
 
"Durgal!" cried the dwarf girl, Gula.  With all his strength, he
 
"Durgal!" cried the dwarf girl, Gula.  With all his strength, he
 
stretched to reach her in the crashing water.
 
stretched to reach her in the crashing water.
 
==[[User:HYBRID BEING|HYBRID BEING]]==
 
===(3 June 2014)===
 
<pre>@.@@.,--.,-,..-.,.,eeeee</pre>
 
Sword and axe clashed again and again as the combatants fought and
 
bled.  You and I remember Tasan fortress in the days before the elves
 
emerged from the hated forest.  At one time Fortress Tasan was second
 
only to the mountain homes in wealth and power.  Now it was the front
 
line in a war to end the age.
 
 
"Aim low, marks-dwarves," said Kraton.  "Make every shot count."
 
 
It was the height of the Plump Helmet festival when Kraton first
 
learned of the elven invasion.  An arrow struck his sweetheart dead in
 
the chest.  The ambush was over in seconds.  The castle guard were
 
able to chase down the archers before they escaped into the woods.
 
 
As captain of the guard, Kraton was in charge of interrogation.  There
 
was no need in his mind.  Elves were not rational.  Their reasons for
 
acting made no sense.  He ordered that they be hammered immediately
 
and prepared the fortress for the assault to come.
 
  
 
==Insanity Prelude==
 
==Insanity Prelude==
Line 826: Line 289:
 
as she could remember.  It made it all the more tragic when he finally
 
as she could remember.  It made it all the more tragic when he finally
 
fell to Darkmaster's henchmen.  But let us talk of happier times...
 
fell to Darkmaster's henchmen.  But let us talk of happier times...
 
==[[User:JakobTheGreat|Jakob Zaborowski]]==
 
===(22 July 2015)===
 
 
<pre>U,.(&),,.,.(&),.U</pre>
 
It had been a century since the last Dulchari wizard had been crowned. Most of the old wizards had retired to remote towers to continue their studies, having abandoned the city of Etwersbrot and the council chamber. There simply was no need for them anymore. All the dimensional rifts had been sealed and reality had been restored to a liveable state.
 
 
The wizards that lived in the capital were a new breed. The only demons they had ever seen were the ones that the Dulchari summoned themselves. Thamian was one of these. He longed to cross the boundaries between worlds like the old heroes did. Once the world had been filled with monsters. Now it was impossible to prove oneself.
 
"I have an idea," said Thamian. "Meet me behind the tower after class."
 
 
The sun was sinking behind the mountains when Thamian met his friend Nesco in the dry field. What he had planned was a contest of magic. They would each summon a demon and they would fight to see which one was more fierce. Standing across the field from one another they drew pentagrams in the dirt. Thamian began summoning a creature from the world of Brepotog, the Bowels of the Universe. Nesco called his demon from Urmoro, the Land of the Undead. Somehow neither of them grasped that this was a bad idea.
 
 
===(3 January 2015)===
 
 
<pre>&,<U>,,.<U>.N</pre>
 
 
Thamian's monster was the first to appear.  About an hour after the ritual began there was a distinct smell on the western breeze.  It smelled like Brepotog, the sewer of reality.  Nesco flinched, but remained inside his protective pentagram.  Off to the right, the shadows darkened.  An arm, perhaps more tentacle than solid limb, protruded from the ground.  It struck the ground with a splat and pulled the rest of the demon up.
 
 
“I've done it, Nesco,” shouted Thamian.  “Admit it!  I've won.”
 
 
“Wait,” said Nesco.  “Look there!”
 
 
Out of the trees, a figure stumbled.  Once it came into the sunlight, the young wizards could see it for what it was, alive undead.  It was the animated body of another young wizard.  He had probably died during the trials which had taken place earlier that week.  Its neck was clearly broken and its head lolled crazily to the side.
 
 
“I command you, oh demon,” shouted Thamian, “attack!”
 
 
===(3 December 2015)===
 
 
<pre>N|+UUUUUU+U|</pre>
 
 
Nesco was late to class.  The always-nosey Smesma was there at the door to greet him.  The first thing she noticed was the overpowering smell of filth.  They had been summoning demons again!  Nesco had the stink of Brepotog on him.  Where was Thamian?  The two rascals were usually inseparable.  Smesma stood in the doorway and would not let Nesco pass without an explanation.
 
 
“Where is your friend, Thamian?” asked Smesma.
 
 
“Don't worry.  He still lives,” muttered Nesco, “after a fashion.”
 
 
The witch let Nesco in, more overcome by his stench than his flimsy excuses.  As Nesco took his seat at the desk the other wizards scooted away, annoying the professor with their squeaky chairs.  The instructor for this term was Lord Domoran.  He was an incompetent teacher, just serving out his time until retirement.  Most young wizards never learned from class anymore.  The only ones who improved used the forbidden arts like Nesco and Thamian.
 
 
“You summoned a demon from the bowels of the universe,” whispered Smesma.  “I smell it!”
 
 
“Not me,” said Nesco.  “It was that fool Thamian.  But I got him back!”
 
 
“If you have something to share,” boomed Lord Domoran, “you can share it with the whole class!”
 
 
“Very well,” said Nesco.  “Watch this!”
 
 
The young punk stood up and clapped his hands.  Suddenly the room felt very cold and still.  Outside the room, the students could hear footsteps.  Whoever it was, they didn't sound all that healthy.  The mystery person dragged one leg and moaned when he took a step.  The closer he got, the more loud and painful the moaning became.  At last there was a knock at the door.
 
 
“Only students are allowed in the classroom,” shouted Domoran, clearly shaken.
 
 
“But it is one of your students,” said Nesco.  “Thamian!  Come inside.”
 
 
The doorknob turned ever so slowly, and the door swung open to reveal a horrible sight.  It was Thamian, or more accurately, what was left of him.  His clothing was bloody and torn, and his body was beset by a dozen mortal wounds.  The fact that he was walking was clearly an infernal miracle.
 
 
“Nesco,” said Domoran, “what have you done?”
 
 
“Only what you are too weak and afraid to do,” shouted Nesco.  “I used magic!”
 
 
The zombie trudged forward.  Nesco laughed.  He was truly a Dulchari wizard now.  The monster came closer and the young wizards stood and backed away, leaving Domoran to face the ghost of Thamian alone.
 
 
“Stop it!” shouted Smesma.
 
 
“I,” said Nesco, suddenly flustered, “I can't!”
 
 
===(19 December 2015)===
 
 
<pre>!!NU!!!!!!UU++UU</pre>
 
 
Thamian's corpse caught hold of Domoran and plunged its fangs into his neck.  The young wizards cut and ran, leaving Nesco and Smesma to face the threat alone.  Blood poured from Domoran's wound.  There wasn't much hope for him now and Nesco knew it.  Still, Smesma wouldn't let Nesco flee.
 
 
“You did this,” shouted Smesma.  “Now undo it!”
 
 
“But if Domoran lives,” explained Nesco, “we will be expelled from school.”
 
 
“What?” asked Smesma, having heard the most ignorant excuse spoken in years.
 
 
The zombie dropped the professor's body on the floor and advanced on the delinquent wizard.  Nesco grabbed Smesma by the arm and ran out of class.  Outside the classroom, the disaster containment squad had assembled.  The wizards in the tac-squad wore robes lined with adamantine and wielded special flame throwing wands.
 
 
“They are in there,” shouted Nesco.  “Two of them!”
 
 
“Villain!” cried Smesma.  “Domoran may yet live!”
 
 
Nesco pushed Smesma to the side as the wizards stormed the classroom, blasting away indiscriminately with their flame throwers.  The evil Nesco chuckled into his cloak.  No one was paying attention but Smesma.  She knew now that something must be done to stop him.
 
 
===(20 January 2016)===
 
 
<pre>,.U!,.U".</pre>
 
 
Alone in her alcove, Smesma said a prayer to the gods and began her meditation. There was a buzzing sound deep in her throat.  She concentrated on the sacred syllables of the forbidden language.  The time had come to use her power.  She shouted the word and punched a hole through the brick wall of her room.  Such was the power of Axolar.
 
 
“Where is Nesco?” asked Smesma.
 
 
“He has been hanging around Thamian's grave,” said one of the students.  “It's horrible that all of this happened.”
 
 
“He has to be stopped before anyone else gets hurt,” said Smesma.
 
 
She meant to kill Nesco before he could raise any more zombies.  Domoron had been a hero to Smesma, and she blamed Nesco alone for his death.  Outside the city gate, hidden behind a screen of trees, Nesco waited for Smesma in the cemetery.  He was alone dressed in the gray robes of mourning.
 
 
“You had better call to Urmoro for help,” shouted Smesma, “for I will have no mercy.”
 
 
Nesco just stood there, knowing that Smesma would probably just kill herself with a magic spell.  He had gained some perspective since the trouble started.  He could hear the sound welling up from Smesma's throat as she charged up for the killer blow.  She ran at Nesco, releasing the spell with a shout.  There was an explosion of gore and a terrible gargling sound.  No one knew what happened until the undertaker came across the bodies the next day.
 
  
 
==[[User:Janus|Janus]]==
 
==[[User:Janus|Janus]]==
Line 1,244: Line 606:
 
The young adventurer stepped up to the statue, torch in hand.  After a quick inspection he grasped the stone minotaur's horn.  He gave it a sharp yank and just as Albert foretold, the rock hand opened dropping the Sword of Fire into the adventurer's waiting hands.  The stones in the ceiling above began to rumble, as if the temple itself was being rocked from its foundations.  Throwing his cloak over his head, the young man made his way to the entrance, dodging the falling stones.
 
The young adventurer stepped up to the statue, torch in hand.  After a quick inspection he grasped the stone minotaur's horn.  He gave it a sharp yank and just as Albert foretold, the rock hand opened dropping the Sword of Fire into the adventurer's waiting hands.  The stones in the ceiling above began to rumble, as if the temple itself was being rocked from its foundations.  Throwing his cloak over his head, the young man made his way to the entrance, dodging the falling stones.
  
===(26 October 2015)===
 
 
<pre>.,pU/,.></pre>
 
 
The young man emerged from the smoking ruin and lifted up his arm.  Out of the sky, a peregrine falcon swooped and landed on his wrist.  Although it looked at first to be a bird, only the adventurer knew it was really a baby dragon.  He looked once again at the Sword of Fire.  At first glance it didn't look like much.  The metal was dim and scratched, covered with grime.  The peregrine falcon had a comment.
 
 
“That is a fine weapon,” said the bird who was really a monster.  “Do you plan on slaying my mother with it?”
 
 
“Hush,” said the young man.  “Good birds don't speak.”
 
 
Mounting his black stallion, the adventurer rode back to Assura, home of his master.  Albert was busy learning from every book his pupils had gathered.  He didn't expect the prize that young Joson had acquired for him.  The Sword of Fire was forged by dwarves when the the world was young.  It was the only weapon fated to end the reign of Trigonometra and her dragons.
 
  
 
==[[User:JoystickHero|Joystick Hero]]==
 
==[[User:JoystickHero|Joystick Hero]]==
Line 1,663: Line 1,014:
  
 
"Then, Sir Masterdad," said the princess, "you are the new champion."
 
"Then, Sir Masterdad," said the princess, "you are the new champion."
 
==[[User:LaChouette|LaChouette]]==
 
===(26 January 2016)===
 
 
<pre>@@@@@@++@/|N</pre>
 
 
Joyous song rose up from the midnight tavern.  As sweet as the notes were, painful they were to the creature of the night.  The dwarves of the fortress had no idea that the troglodyte was down there, swimming through the underground river.  The monster hated happiness and was jealous of those who lived normal lives.  The bards seemed to be doing their best to anger the trog.  Tonight he would change their tune.
 
 
“Who's there?” asked Kogan.
 
 
The knock had come from the inner door of the fortress.  There were no miners down there tonight.  It was the day of the Plump Helmet Festival and all dwarves were making merry.  So who could it be?  Kogan picked up a spare sword just in case and opened the door.
 
 
===(28 February 2016)===
 
 
<pre>|@+@+++|</pre>
 
 
“Trog in the mine!” screamed Kogan.
 
 
Before he could shout again, the troglodyte brought a thigh bone down onto Kogan's skull.  The dwarf was knocked senseless.  He could sense motion as a pair of dwarves dragged his body away.  He tried to protest but his vision was a blur.  The trog was real.  He had to warn the others.
 
 
“It's alright,” said the doctor.  “You took a nasty blow to the head.”
 
 
“The trog!” exclaimed Kogan.  “We must kill it!”
 
 
“Time has passed, I'm afraid,” said the doctor.
 
 
“What are you talking about?” asked Kogan.  “Did I miss the festival?”
 
 
“It has been some years,” said the doctor.  “You have been in a deep sleep.”
 
 
===(27 March 2016)===
 
 
<pre>|@+@|,..,????</pre>
 
 
Pain as Kogan opened his eyes.  There was sunlight coming through one of the windows.  How long had it been since Kogan had had to bear the sun?  How long had it been since he had seen a window?  The warrior rolled out of bed and found he could barely stand.  Had it really been years since the night of the Helmet Festival and the horrid trog?
 
 
“Kogan,” said squire Dorkin, “you shouldn't be out of bed.”
 
 
“Where is Aliza?” asked Kogan.
 
 
“She thought you would never wake up,” said Dorkin, “and married another.”
 
 
Looking out over the rolling green hills, Kogan was filled with disgust.  His old life was over and all he had now was a life under the hated sun.  He asked what had happened to the fortress, but no one had the courage to tell him.
 
 
“Take me to Aliza,” said Kogan.  “Now.”
 
 
===(27 April 2016)===
 
 
<pre>@,.,.,.M@.,.,</pre>
 
 
“I thought you would never wake up,” said Aliza, holding a babe in her arms.
 
 
“Is it my child?” asked Kogan, barely able to contain his rage.
 
 
Coming just in time, Dorkin guided Kogan away from the hillside hovel.  Kogan would never forgive the trog for what had been taken from him.  He made up his mind that very moment to return to the dwarf fortress.  There was nothing left for him here. 
 
 
“The fortress?” asked Dorkin.  “You don't want to go back there.  It's a horror show.”
 
 
“Don't ever dictate to me,” said Kogan, “what I want.”
 
 
After saddling his mule, Dorkin strapped Kogan into his armor and helped him mount his steed.  The squire bid Kogan farewell.  No one was insane enough to join him on his hopeless quest for revenge.
 
 
===(30 May 2016)===
 
 
<pre>@?*%*%+@++  AAA</pre>
 
 
The world had been on fire and the universe was filled with embers and ash.  Most deities blamed the meddling dwarves for the cataclysm.  Deep in the mountain fortress the dwarven monks toiled over the arcane machine, a device that would count down the days until the end of the world.  Its gears and mechanisms were strung together in such a complex way that even Trigonometra, the wisest of the goddesses, couldn't predict what the machine would do next.
 
 
“We must turn it off,” said Brother Glorm.  “Holy Apexus has refused to mount the sun chariot.”
 
 
“The gods cannot hold the world hostage,” said Brother Famba.  “We will work in darkness.  What, after all, does it matter here, under the ground?”
 
 
“The god below, Nadir, also has his misgivings,” said Glorm.
 
 
“We will deal with the god of death when the time comes,” said Famba.
 
 
Having nothing to say to that, Glorm just stood back and watched the machine grind away.  Famba adjusted the settings and stood back with Glorm to watch.  There was a horrible screeching sound and the machine ground to a halt.  Famba ran to where the output was written mechanically on a scroll.  It wasn't good news.
 
 
“We have three days,” said Famba.
 
 
===(2 July 2016)===
 
 
<pre>NNNNNNNNNNNNNN,.,|@@</pre>
 
 
“Tell me,” asked Sir Sula, “how can you count the days left on Earth when the sun refuses to rise?”
 
 
“You aren't listening,” shouted Brother Famba.  “We have to get far away from here!”
 
 
The castle guard was on alert since Apexus had not appeared in the sky.  They stared out over the battlements and into the darkness.  The night looked back. There was a sea of night creatures waiting outside the dwarf fortress.  Sula was summoned from the library.  Brother Famba followed him, eager to see how the world would end.
 
 
“Is there any hope at all?” asked Sula.
 
 
“Call for the riding birds,” said Famba.  “We still might be able to get the princess to safety.”
 
  
 
==[[User:landrus|landrus]]==
 
==[[User:landrus|landrus]]==
Line 1,816: Line 1,074:
  
 
Trolls are playing dodgeball with a boulder!  Who will win?!
 
Trolls are playing dodgeball with a boulder!  Who will win?!
 
==Latta==
 
===(20 April 2016)===
 
 
<pre>@@@@,.@/~.@@@.|@</pre>
 
 
He just took it.  The adamantine artifact was on display in the great hall.  It was the night of the Plump Helmet Festival and no one was paying attention.  No one would notice if a dwarf slipped the magic knife into his pocket.  That's what Kogan thought as he took the dagger by the handle and dropped it into the fold of his tunic.  What he didn't count on was the infinite sharpness of the blade itself.
 
 
“What the forge?” asked Kogan as the pain struck him.
 
 
The blade cut through the fabric of his pocket and plunged down into his foot.  He tried to play it off cool as the young dwarves danced all around him.  He bend down during a lute solo when everyone was watching the stage and pulled the knife out of his foot.  He winced and smiled a fierce smile.  Now all he had to do was limp out of here without being noticed.
 
  
 
==Lord Herman==
 
==Lord Herman==

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