Editing Stupid dwarf trick

{{Quality|Fine}}

A '''stupid dwarf trick''' is any project that requires a large amount of time and/or effort. They may provide a practical benefit, but are frequently done for the sake of doing them; they exist primarily as a [[challenge]] for experienced players.

'''Usefulness:''' Limited.  They'll sleep through <s>'''anything'''</s> the noise. Although they have been known to awaken when drenched in water, possibly due to thinking it's alcohol. This means an alarm clock is not impossible if carefully prepared.

'''Usefulness:''' Absolutely none whatsoever. Even less if using sprites. (Easy reminders in case you're too lazy to use notes?)

'''Difficulty:''' High.  Anything to do with draining aquifers is very [[Fun]]. It is now very rare to find a powerful enough aquifer.

'''Usefulness:''' High.

A Fortress in the Caverns, built by the first dwarf tribes. Build the Fortress however you see fit for those prehistoric Dwarves (e.g. only primitive metals, elaborate tombs for the chieftains with burial objects, cave art, etc.) and abandon it. Then, embark with modern Dwarves, and excavate the ancient Fortress. Sort of like the Adventure Fortress above, only for Reclaim Mode

'''Usefulness:''' Variable. Carving a premade fort or building controlled access to caverns can potentially be useful for a Reclaim effort, effectively making the first wave dispoable setup so your would-be archologists to dig up and exploit their new home. The more Fun you leave behind, the harder it will be for your second wave to repurpose the place.

The '@' is any number of marksdwarves standing on a down stair. You may want to use a defend burrow order to restrict them to that tile. The 'g' is a goblin or any other creature your marksdwarves will normally fire at upon encounter (pitted from 2 z-levels above). The 'O' is a well, which is suspected to be preventing dwarves from plunging in and starting brawling with the creature. Marksdwarves will be able to see the goblin or whatever creature below and will loose all bolts in their quivers on them. Curiously, nearly all the bolts will fail to cross the bend in the middle and will fall onto the tile '/' where they can be collected. This disregards crossbow and archery skills and the only difference they make is the speed at which the bolts are split. This design has the advantage of taking less space and being easier to set up, however it is reported that sometimes the dwarves will not miss some of the bolts. If you are only stationing one marksdwarf in the tower, stationing another one may help the first one miss all of his bolts, even after the newly added one is then removed. Sometimes dwarves will spam job cancellation on the bolt collection level, and it is also reported that sometimes some dwarves will start firing when they are on the bolt collection level. In such cases you may want to seal the collection level off and open it once in a while to retrieve the bolts.

A room where you put all your dwarf children so they cannot be kidnapped by snatchers, or get into accidents. Make a room with beds and tables and stuff, then turn it into a burrow, then add all your children to it. Remember to include a food chute to [[quantum stockpile]] a huge amount of food and alcohol on a 1x1 stockpile (so it doesn't rot) in the room. High quality food, furniture, toys, clothing, and socializing should keep them happy. Note that the children will no longer be able to perform certain useful tasks like hauling, crop harvesting and deconstruction, and will not level up their skill in miscellaneous professions like an otherwise vulnerable child, but this is a small trade-off if they usually get kidnapped before maturing anyway. This is probably obvious, but make sure this room is guarded, otherwise it will turn into a Dwarf Orphanage (Dorfanage) (with Goblins and Minotaurs welcome!)

'''Usefulness:''' Varies, depending on the bonuses built. With v50, children are a lot easier to mentally scar for life, making them prone to fell moods and tantrums, so having a safe form of daycare allows them to grow up into adults whose stress levels are usually easier to manage

*SchoolBonus: Make the daycare a guild hall, and add a highly skilled dwarf and another adult to the burrow. The two will give demonstrations that the kids will occasionally watch, gaining experience in a profession of your choice

*OlympicBonus: Build a swimming pool of 4/7 between critical parts of the daycare, so the kids have to go through the water for their everyday tasks, gaining swimming skill and associated stats.

*ChildSoldierBonus: Make the daycare a barracks, and have your crack squad of dwarves spar and demonstrate there to train up the military skills of your dwarven children

***MegaDwarfBonus: Use [[giant cave spider]]s, [[cave dragon]]s, [[blind cave ogre]]s, [[jabberer]]s or something really dangerous and rare.  

****UltraMagmaArmokBonus: Use one (or more!) of the following list: [[dragon]]s, [[bronze colossus]]es, [[forgotten beast]]s (bonus points for flesh-melting secretions), an [[undead]] [[giant sponge]], or [[Hidden Fun Stuff|Clowns of Hidden Funland]].

'''Usefulness:''' Your mechanics will level up very fast.  Manual pumps give something for your haulers to do.  Try and make a clock to trigger different mechanisms in different seasons.  See if enemies actually blunder into your intricate traps.  Watch all hell break loose as water freezes and building destroyers (''bugs, perhaps?'') enter your computer.

'''Usefulness:''' Limited, because you could just dig the things underground and save yourself the hassle. However it is much harder to flood a tower than a cave, in case you're prone to [[Losing|fun]] by water. Additionally, if you have the time and resources to train a sizable force of marksdwarves, placing a few "security rooms" (with barracks, ammunition store, ration cache, armory, etc.) at appropriate floors, complete with fortified balconies, will allow you to take advantage of the higher vantage point.

*MegaDwarfBonus: Create a network of self-sufficient communities per shaft, allowing them to be sectioned off in case of disaster. (I plan on colonizing HFS eventually on this paradigm, creating a mining team of soldiers to extract, manufacture and ultimately use adamantine products without being connected to the main colony in order to take on the [[Demon|clowns]] while keeping the rest of the burrow safe.)

'''Usefulness:''' Medium. [[Dragonfire]] can kill almost anything, but will be blocked by a [[shield]] greater than 99% of the time. Adding a combustible floor (such as a paved [[lignite]] [[road]]) will significantly increase lethality for shield-toting targets. Also, any protective bridges in front of the fortifications may melt under sustained fire, leaving you with a bunker that ''nobody'' can safely approach; ensuring the bridge center tile isn't near the fire, or building the bridges (and mechanisms) from [[ash]], dragon [[soap]], [[divine metal|divine]]{{version|0.43.03}} [[metal]] (or [[slade]]) will make them immune to the fire. Additionally, a skilled enemy archer can easily kill your dragon with a lucky shot, if line-of-sight access is available.

*WhereTheBeardedLadiesAtBonus: Enforce as many <s>pointless</s> quaint human quirks as feasible, for instance: nominating officials per wealth/popularity/relationships instead of merit and suitedness, coddling Nobles, burrowing farmers, miners, brewers, craftsdwarves and other backbones of society into the most tattered ridings, enforcing a specific religion upon the populace, and so forth.

*MegaArmokEntombment<s>'''Bait&Switch'''</s>Diplomatic+Bonus: Set the highest level up on another switch, with a particularly <s>'''demanding and annoying noble'''</s> skilled diplomatic representative is waiting at the very bottom to <s>'''lure'''</s> invite them all down for a nice meal on <s>'''his flesh'''</s> the stockpile of food and booze that's keep him ever so happy. Then you can wait for the entire army to flow into the stairwell before flipping the switches. Don't forget to carve a statue out of the block of the noble! What noble doesn't want their grand <s>'''sacrificial defense'''</s> diplomatic skills to be immortalized in volcanic glass?

**UltraArmokBonus: Defeat all your invasions this way, and build a temple to Armok full of the once noble, now obsidian statues, as well as only the highest of quality (and value) memorial slabs.

Build a mini fortress with everything your dwarves could need deep underground. Stock it with enough food, drinks, and materials to last your small band of survivors for years or alternatively make it self-sufficient with its own food production. Lastly, add a bridge that allows you to seal off the bunker from the rest of the world.  

'''Usefulness:''' High. If your fort is threatened by some particularly nasty disaster (be it zombie goblin horde or Bronze Colossus) simply rush your best and brightest dwarves down to the Nuclear Fallout Bunker and raise the bridge, sealing it off from the rest of the world.

*MutallyAssuredDestructionBonus: Have a self-destruct lever in the bunker that is pulled once everyone is safely inside.

'''Usefulness:''' Negative

A huge tower with floodgates at the bottom on one side. When opened, the pressurized water fires out and instantly submerges anything in the way of the flow. Depending on size, can be surprisingly powerful. You can see an example tower [http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-7485-griffonwind here].

* Bonus: Fill it with Magma instead (though it won't flow out nearly as quickly).

 

 

 

 

''' Usefulness:''' medium to low. The same trick can be used to move large amounts of items via minecart, but ultimately the QBC is excessive for even the HFS.

*ExtraFunBonus: do as many of these bonuses as you please (as long as they still function together) AND unleash a whole lot of dwarves throwing tantrums near the lever when you wish to set the fun things off.

'''Usefulness:''' Low/None. As of Premium, the lunar phase is permanently affixed to the user interface, making a werewolf clock frankly redundant.