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Difference between revisions of "40d Talk:Stories/Goblin entryism: A threat to Dwarfkind"
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m (removing my concerns which no longer apply) |
m (moved Talk:Stories/Goblin entryism: A threat to Dwarfkind to 40d Talk:Stories/Goblin entryism: A threat to Dwarfkind) |
Latest revision as of 13:04, 23 April 2010
Content[edit]
The core concept is clever. It reminds me a lot of The Manchurian Candidate; I wonder if this article might benefit from some more explicit references to it (perhaps titling it, "The Goblin CandidateMigrants"?).
--HebaruSan 22:37, 8 November 2009 (UTC)
Style[edit]
The writing's pretty good. I felt it was too wordy in places and could have gotten to the point more quickly, though. Earliest and most obvious example, this whole phrase could be cut without impacting the clarity or meaning of the surrounding text: "concerning their means of attack and defence in times of war". --HebaruSan 22:37, 8 November 2009 (UTC)