User:Dark T Zeratul/Glentreaties

Journal of Brewmaster Vegdrasil

Year 1050

17th of Sandstone

Exiled. Can you believe it? Me. Vegdrasil. Brewmaster of Shorast Nar, exiled because of some stupid whiny elf bastard who got all uppity because the ale keg I gave him was made of wood "cruelly slain by cave-dwelling savages." How was I to know that he was the prince? Anyway, since King Outhalast apparently really wanted to make good diplomatic ties with those tree-dwelling pricks, he's thrown me in with the latest expeditionary force. Of course, everyone knows that these so-called "expeditions" to construct new fortresses are really just a way of getting rid of the undesirables. Most of the fortresses are never heard from again, and those that are usually don't bear good news. The caravan to Angelpeace reported nothing but bones only two years after its founding. The caravan to Bronzedawns never even returned at all. And Headshoots? Well, the less said about Headshoots the better, really.

So anyway, this batch of ingrates that I'm stuck with is a real piece of work. Our self-appointed leader, Brumbol, hates our mason, Id, who hates our cook, Cali. Our planter, Sarvesh, is a kleptomaniac. Our carpenter Anga seems to be made entirely out of muscle, and I'm fairly certain our engineer, Nil, is secretly planning our deaths. I swear, if I live through this, it will be a miracle.

Year 1051

1st of Granite

Well, we've finally arrived at this godforsaken place. A river valley at the edge of the East Swamp, in the foothills of the Mountains of the Invisible Tower... This is where we've been told to build our fortress. Snow still covers much of the ground, and the river (more of a stream, really) looks like it's frozen solid. There aren't even any wild animals around that I can see, although depending how you look at it that's not necessarily a bad thing. If there were elephants here, it would be... Bad. There was another fortress that had problems with elephants. It ended with a single half-crazed warrior walking away from a barren field filled with naught but bones and ash, and a dire warning to never go there again.

I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that I was stuck here, then turned to our "fearless leader" Brumbol. I figure if he's gonna call himself leader then dammit I'm going to make sure he acts like one. "What shall we call it?" I asked. "Glentreaties," he replied after a moment. Wow, with a name like that, we will surely strike fear into the hearts of our potential enemies. Which, by the way, are pretty fucking numerous. I snuck a look at the records before we left, and apparently there are known serpent men and antmen colonies in the area. We're also very near to the territory of a particularly vicious goblin kingdom, not to mention the elves who I'm sure are going to be THRILLED that the dwarf who pissed off their prince is living in the area.

There's absolutely no way we have enough alcohol to get me through this. Once we get a farm set up, priority ONE for me is building a still.

1st of Slate

A month into spring and the snow still hasn't melted yet. We also had an oh-so-fun snowstorm that lasted about a week and a half. In that month, we've managed to accomplish all of digging a single tunnel and a trade depot. Brumbol at least managed to demonstrate that he's not a complete tactical idiot, using the stream (brook, actually, now that I've had a closer peek at it) as a moat and walling off the sides to funnel our inevitable foes into a single chokepoint. Still no sign of any wildlife beyond a sizable hoard of marmots, but I refuse to let my guard down for even a second. If some sort of horrible forgotten beast doesn't kill me, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if my compatriots did...

11th of Slate

While most of us have been digging out temporary storage for food and goods, Brumbol asked Anga to dismantle the wagon and chop down some trees, a task she has taken to with a disturbing amount of enjoyment. In other news, the brook just unfroze. Not a gradual thaw, it was simply ice one moment and then FWOOSH. Water. I hate this place.

7th of Felsite

We've almost finished hauling everything across the valley and into our fortress. Now Brumbol wants us to make craftsdwarf workshops and start churning out the little rock figurines and toys that everyone loves so much. I must admit, I've always found the crafts we imported from the fortresses to be gaudy and poorly constructed, but I suppose now that I'm on the other end of things I can see the appeal of trade goods that are cheap and easy to make from an overabundant resource. In other news, Brumbol has officially made Anga our militia commander... And our chief medical dwarf. I dare not question this decision, for fear that he might declare me insane and ask Anga to practice her "art" to "cure" me. Truly these are terrifying times we live in. I fear for the safety of any dwarf who goes to war with Anga and gets injured.

5th of Hematite

Well it's summer now, and Brumbol seems to have reached the limits of his creativity. We've dug out stockpiles for everything, but he seems unsure of how to proceed. He has the miners digging out ore veins OUTSIDE THE FORTRESS because he doesn't know what to do INSIDE of it. I try telling him to just "keep going down" but it's like talking to a brick wall. Morale is dwindling rapidly and I suspect there will be bloodshed soon if something isn't done to raise our spirits.

22nd of Hematite

Half a dozen migrants and their pets showed up yesterday. Just what we need, another bunch of useless dwarves taking up space, eating our food, and drinking our MY booze. Meanwhile, Brumbol is still managing to do very, very little as expedition leader, aside from appointing Anga to be the sheriff as well. I swear, if things continue like this, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

3rd of Malachite

Well I'll be damned. Those inbred miscreant immigrants are actually DOING THINGS. One of them build a carpenter's workshop and is starting to make beds (at long last, no more sleeping on the floor!) and some of the rest went straight for the craftsdwarf's workshops and began churning out trinkets that, when the caravan from the mountainhome shows up next season, can be traded for more booze to keep me blissfully hammered while the fortress goes to hell around me.

9th of Galena

Our "brilliant" leader, Brumbol, just decided it would be a good idea to mine completely through the bottom of a rock pillar next to the river, heedless of the fact that there would be nothing left to hold up the top, which promptly fell and seriously injured him. His left arm is rather badly broken, and I'm pretty sure the big rock lying on top of his chest is causing some internal bleeding. A small part of me wonders if he'll survive under Anga's "tender" ministrations... And most of me just doesn't really care.

18th of Galena

After lying on the ground for three days, Brumbol finally picked himself up, washed off the blood and gravel in the river, and ran out into the valley and up the hills. He crawled back four days after that, climbed into bed, and promptly passed out. With our leader thusly incapacitated, I've taken over leadership in the interim. And by my father's beard, I will see this fortress thrive!

11th of Galena

It's autumn now, and the last month has been going well. Brumbol woke up and has agreed to let me run things behind the scenes while he takes all the credit, which I suppose isn't TOO terrible. Besides, during my phantom leadership the fortress has seen a massive increase in productivity. We're mining out massive deposits of coal and magnetite ore a few levels down, and we've already constructed a forge and smelter to begin turning it into weapons and armor. Our stockpile of crafts is steadily growing every day, and I remain confident that we will be able to acquire everything we need from the caravan, which is due in about two months. I'm also seeing how our growing animal population might eventually become a problem; I'm ordering the construction of a butcher's shop and a tanner's shop to deal with it before it gets out of control.

18th of Sandstone

The brook froze today. Since I know from experience that it won't unfreeze for about another six months, I'm taking this opportunity to dig through the ice to get at some coal lining the brook that was previously unavailable. We should have plenty of time to dig it out and build up a wall before it unfreezes and floods the fortress. In other news, Sarvesh came back screaming that he was attacked by a mountain goat. I've had Brumbol ask Anga to deal with it. Since Brumbol's hands are still broken, rendering him completely unfit for labor of any kind, I've asked him to help her, mostly out of curiosity as to how it will play out.

10th of Timber

All this time I've been just a little bit scared of Anga. My fear was misplaced. I should have been scared of Brumbol. While Anga dallied around the fortress trying to gather up some armor, Brumbol left the fortress with no weapons or armor and charged screaming at the mountain goat, knocked it over, and then laid into it WITH HIS TEETH. With no weapons, and no armor, and no training, Brumbol killed a mountain goat, by himself, without even a scratch. Covered in the blood of his fallen enemy, he has gone off to hunt down and destroy the rest of them. I can only hope that I can successfully direct this unholy strength at our foes, and that he doesn't decide to kill the rest of us instead.

18th of Timber

The caravan finally arrived today. As Brumbol has been transformed from a brilliant leader into a psychotic goat slayer, I have appointed Kethry as our broker, mostly on the basis that she's very good at making us laugh. The rest of the dwarves are hauling our massive collection of crafts to the trade depot, hopefully earning us more food for the coming year.

23rd of Timber

The dwarven caravan brought considerable less than I was expecting; do they really expect us to survive on just two barrels of alcohol? Evidently they want to piss us off as much as possible; they even sent Thob Osedineth, that filthy goblin leech that's been living in the mountainhomes for the past several years, to be our liaison. I said some rather unflattering things about her mother, then sent her to talk to Brumbol. She may or may not survive the meeting. Fifty-fifty chance, I'd say.

8th of Moonstone

Well, some other idiot wasn't watching where he was digging and caused a collapse again. This time the injured party wasn't the miner himself (evidently a particularly dim-witted dwarf named Tobul), but our poor cook, Cali, who was crushed beneath a large piece of rock and died shortly thereafter. I suspect Tobul is going to meet with a rather unfortunate accident in the near future...

21st of Moonstone

I am a genius. For some time now I have been pondering the problem of irrigation for farming. All this time the solution has been staring me in the face! Mine out the frozen river, then transport the ice blocks to our farming cavern. When it thaws in a few months, BAM! Instant farming space. It can't possibly go wrong!

26th of Opal

As the caravan left last month, they mentioned something about "less friendly goblins" nearby. I've decided not to take any chances, and thus I'm appointing Anga and Brumbol to permanent military status and setting up a training area for them. With the iron weapons and armor that our forges will soon be producing, we will hopefully be able to fend off any potential attack.

Year 1052

1st of Granite

So over the past few months, I've been taking advantage of the frozen brook to mine out the precious minerals alongside it. Unfortunately, it seems that part of the brook unfreezes a whole month in advance of the other part. Fortunately the part that unfroze was not directly connected to the rest of the fortress, but I've had to seal off an access tunnel until next year just in case the rest were to thaw suddenly. The only downside is that Id seems to be trapped in a steadily filling pool of water. However, no one seems inclined to help her. See, when Cali died it was initially assumed that it was Tobul's ineptitude that caused her death. However, Id was working in the same area at the time, and it's well-known that she had a grudge against Cali for something that happened back at the mountainhomes. So a rumor started spreading that Id was the real culprit, and that she did it in such a way as to make it look like Tobul's fault. Since everyone else loved Cali and her cooking, it's not unsurprising that there would be little enthusiasm to save Id from a watery grave (similarly, when everyone suspected Tobul, it was not unsurprising when he suddenly died of "mysterious causes"). What do I think? Well, I think that the order has been given to dig her out "eventually," and I guess we'll just have to find out when "eventually" happens to be.

23rd of Granite

Apparently "eventually" means "fucking never," because Id has been dead for a week now and nobody's done anything about it. I'm hoping someone will at least fish her corpse out of the pool so we can give her stuff to someone else. Maybe one of the new migrants that just arrived will be willing to do it...

11th of Slate

Brumbol finally snapped. He's been muttering to himself more and more over the past few days, but today in the middle of combat practice he just started screaming incoherent gibberish and stripped off his clothing, then began running naked around the fortress babbling endlessly. Now with a true lack of leadership, I have thrown my vote behind a new migrant named Mafola. She has no leadership skills of her own, but will be easy to manipulate. Thus will I continue to run Glentreaties from behind the shadows...

21st of Slate

Our jeweler, Domas, was stricken by a mood and, after we made a workshop for him, crafted a rather unimpressive looking moss agate scepter. In other news, the brook is now completely unfrozen, as is the ice I had stockpiled in the farming cavern. Unfortunately, it failed to create mud, putting us back at square one irrigation-wise. Meanwhile, Id's corpse was never fished out of the water, and I've no idea where it's gotten to now, along with all of her stuff. Clearly, she was not well-liked during her final days here.

18th of Felsite

The elven caravan arrived today! I'm honestly not entirely sure what I'm going to do about it when they get here; I might trade with them, or I might just have them killed. Fifty-fifty chance I'd say, depending on my mood and what goods they've brought. I've also ordered every single tree within a hundred yards of the fortress door cut down, just to spite those pointy-eared pricks.

11th of Hematite

Brumbol finally keeled over and died today. The fortress is mourning his death, although I think not so much as they would have had his end been a bit more dignified. In other news, I decided to let the elves live after all. Instead, I just told our animal trainer Urdim to check out their goods, and then take anything useful-looking by force. The elves, like the sissies that they are, gave up their goods without a fight, packed up what we let them keep, and left. On the whole, today is turning out to be a very good day.

21st of Malachite

With the seeds we appropriated from the elves, I've ordered a farm to be constructed since our previous irrigation plans have proved disastrous. I've also come to the conclusion that the current state of the fortress is an irredeemable mess; the only solution at this point is to start fresh. To that end, I have begun drawing up plans for a new fortress; once made habitable, the existing fortress will be turned into a quarry. There can be no going back.

19th of Galena

Since the miners are getting interrupted by hoary marmots, I've sent our military off to deal with them. Some say it's too heavy-handed for a bunch of "oversized squirrels." I say (or rather, Mafola says) that nothing is too heavy-handed when the well-being of our citizens is concerned, and if the squirrels are preventing them from working then they've got to go. In other news, the human traders arrived today; unlike the elves, I have no problems with trading with humans; their craftsmanship is superb and they don't overreact about a few chopped down trees.

7th of Limestone

As I said, I like the humans. They don't bullshit around where trading is concerned (although they did seem to know somehow when we attempted to offer them some items that we "liberated" from the elves; I'll have to figure out an alternate method of getting rid of that junk now), and they were more than happy to take our rock crafts and old clothing in exchange for food, booze, and armor. Initial tunneling has commenced on the site of our new fortress, and it is my hope that we will be able to move in before the end of the year. In the meantime, I'm going to assign more dwarves to the military; if the goblins decide to attack, I want us to be prepared.

25th of Limestone

The humans have departed back to their city of Dur Kawe. Having made a rather tidy profit, they've agreed to bring more goods next year. Construction on the new fortress is making significant headway; "phase one" is already nearly complete. Soon we will be ready to begin "phase two," which I have nicknamed "the bridge of death." I am hesitant to put to pen too many details before it is complete, lest I be slain by goblins and my journal appropriated, but it should be the ultimate in fortress defense. I may even activate it against the elves someday if I'm in a particularly hilarious mood when they show up.

11th of Sandstone

Our woodcrafter, Leda, claimed a craftsdwarf's workshop a week ago. Today, I finally saw the fruits of her labor: a grand wooden vuvuzela covered in leather and gemstones. I've had Mafola forbid it from ever being played, for the good of the fortress's continued sanity.

Work progresses on the Bridge of Death. We found another layer of silt, and so are continuing to dig further down to find a layer of rock to carve it out of. Our militia is now up to eight dwarves; hopefully they will be ready by the time the goblins arrive, or things are going to go very very badly for us, if the tales the human and dwarven merchants have told about the nearby goblin tribe are true. In other news, the brook partially froze today. I hope we have enough booze to get us through the winter, or the goblins may be the least of our worries.

19th of Timber

The dwarven caravan has returned! Soon we will be able to restock and resupply (assuming those bastards in charge of the mountainhomes have stopped treating us like a joke). We have almost finished shoring up the last tunnel segment before the Bridge of Death, and our militia has been training hard for the last couple months, into what I hope will prove to be an unstoppable killing force. With luck, we will prevail in this accursed place.

26th of Timber

It's official: I absolutely despise those credits in charge at the mountainhomes. Last year, they supplied us with a whopping two barrels of booze. This year, they've bumped it up to a massive three. The remainder of their wares left a lot to be desired, too, in terms of both quality and usefulness. We bought all the food and booze they brought, as well as their armor, and a decent number of crossbow bolts, and several gems, and we still have a considerable number of trade goods. I mean, by the cosmic beard of Anriz Giginlun Udar Himself, the humans brought more with them! They brought that smug goblin asshole Thob Osedineth with them again, so I sent Mafola to go talk to her. As for myself, I'm gonna go hit some rocks with a sharp piece of metal until they crack into tiny pieces. That usually makes me feel better. If that doesn't work, then I'm going to get good and drunk and forget all of this ever happened.

9th of Moonstone

Today was the annual flash-freezing of the brook. I'm fully expecting that sooner or later someone is going to have their hands in the water when it freezes, resulting in a rather messy but probably hilarious accident.

6th of Opal

Lilith is possessed, claims forge.

13th of Opal

Creates a steel splint of all things, studded with steel, decorated with alder, menaces with spikes of horse bone.

18th of Obsidian

As of today, the Bridge of Death is, at last, complete! We still need to mine out the area under it so that when it retracts those stupid elves goblins will actually fall to their deaths instead of just onto their butts, but hey, it's progress. We're also mining out a quarry alongside our new fortress, which should provide an abundance of minerals and ore.

Year 1053

8th of Slate

Fortress has been progressing steadily. Mebza possessed, claims forge.

10th of Slate

Migrants arrive. Mebza demands blocks. Brook unfreezes.

16th of Slate

Nearly twenty migrants in the end. Mebza stars working.

21st of Slate

Gimost Twistfolds, an iron table! It's inlaid with a picture of that damn legendary splint from last season.

15th of Felsite

The bridge of death is complete! It doesn't yet open, but the bridge is there. Phase two is to start digging down and create a pit. The elves have returned! This time they will simply be robbed. But once the bridge of death is rigged to open...

28th of Felsite

Those damn smarmy elf bastards brought nothing. Evidently they just wanted to say "hi" by sending merchants with no goods. Next time they're going in the pit for sure.

2nd of Malachite

Yet more migrants! Because that last bunch was SO useful.

10th of Galena

There's been an accident. While digging out the old fortress, someone caused a collapse. Domas and Kulet were crushed to death instantly, and Tula, Alath, Karalin, Kol, and Firble were pinned under the water and drowned.

17th of Galena

Evidently "inspired" by the recent mayhem, our mason Ushrir has claimed the Mason's Workshop and is working fiercely on some sort of mysterious construction. Human caravan also arrived.

22nd of Galena

I guess inspired was the right word; Ushrir has made a floodgate adorned with images of dwarves working, although he has morbidly named it the "Perfection of Humor."

15th of Limestone

The humans have departed, having provided us with a great deal of food, drink, livestock, cloth, leather, and other miscellaneous items. Truly, we look forward to their caravan even moreso than the one from the mountainhomes.

21st of Sandstone

Now that the brook has frozen, trying to dig out the corpses and gear that were lost in the collapse.

18th of Timber

The dwarven caravan returns. Will they do better this time?

23rd of Timber

Shorast is possessed!

10th of Moonstone

He makes the most intricately detailed earring ever. Also, it seems the dwarven caravan finally got their act together and set plenty of booze, food, armor, and weapons. That goblin's still being a jerk though.

16th of Moonstone

Another cave-in. Ustuth, one of the new migrants, proved his uselessness and got himself and Sibrek killed, badly wounding Lokum, Tun, Erib, and Erin in the process.

19th of Obsidian

Both Lokum and Erin have died of thirst in the past week, as with the brook frozen over there was no water to give them while they lay bedridden. We may need to make causing mining accidents punishable by death.

20th of Obsidian

Goblins! They've ripped apart a couple dogs. Our military has been mobilized to eliminate the threat.

22nd of Obsidian

Tuellan is first on the scene, and first to die horribly. The brook starts to unfreeze, and more goblins arrive.

24th of Obsidian

Lor is slain! Athar, Dodd, and Mafola are caught out in the open and killed. The military seems to be running around in chaos. At last, Anga charges out and disembowels a goblin, evidently being the only one smart enough to actually grab some armor.

28th of Obsidian

The "siege" continues, though it can best be described as chaos. The military spends most of their time running back and forth in the lower hallways as though they forgot something. Meanwhile everyone else is scrambling about getting killed by goblins. Melvin, Urist, Vabok, Erith, Sarbek, and Nil are the latest casualties, along with some stray dogs.

Year 1054

1st of Granite

The siege is still carrying on through the new year. Mebza the fish cleaner just died of a spear through the liver, Lilith the Blacksmith got stabbed in the face, and it seems the goblins don't like the goblin liaison to the mountainhomes much because they've battered her up a fair bit. Scouts report that in all of this mess we've so far managed to kill a whopping TWO goblins.

3rd of Granite

At last, the invaders have been repelled. Two goblins fled, and the other seven were slain - six by Anga and one by Danika. There was two final civilian casualties, Momuz and Monom, and several military casualties: Urdim, Leda, Dakkon, and Tirist. Maybe that will teach them to equip some armor next time. All in all, we lost 29 dwarves in the assault. Since the previous puppet leader, Mafola, was slain, Kethry has stepped in to fill the void. She isn't as easily manipulable as Mafola was, but with her lack of patience I've convinced her that I can be a good advisor.

9th of Slate

A goblin snatcher was discovered! The military was dispatched, but he escaped. Then the brook unfroze. No trace was found of the unfortunates caught in the collapse several months ago.

14th of Slate

23 migrants! Set to work on mining, and military.

14th of Felsite

After the bodies were secured, the next step was gathering up all the clothing of our dead and the armor of the goblins. After a month this is still going on.

19th of Felsite

The elven caravan has arrived! It is time to test the Bridge of Death...

22nd of Felsite

Well, the Bridge of Death test was a failure. Instead of catching the elves, we mistimed it and caught Tun (who broke several bones) and Ilral (who was impaled on a sharp rock and died shortly thereafter). It did, however, show that the bridge is not yet ready due to its current lack of guaranteed lethality.

1st of Hematite

We let the elves sit for a time, then snatched everything we wanted and sent them on their way. I also finally got around to asking why none of the military were picking up armor. Turns out they need an "arsenal dwarf" to sign it out for them. I yelled at them to "get their own damn armor!" When they kept starting at me, I begrudgingly appointed myself arsenal dwarf, then yelled at them again until they left.

26th of Hematite

Tun succumbed to whatever infection it was that was plaguing him. I don't know what it was, since no one wanted to touch him. On the other hand, ten more migrants!

12th of Malachite

Maldoth is our bookkeeper now. Someone needs to keep our records in order, and it sure as hell won't be me!

12th of Galena

The humans are here!

19th of Galena

Finally, payoff! After hanging around for almost a year, Thob Osedineth finally told Kethry that he wished to turn Glentreaties into an official barony of the mountainhomes. Of course, it was obvious who the choice of baron was, hahaha! At last, I'm going to get my dues!