User:Jpwrunyan

I like waterfalls.

Fortresses Past and Present

Dreadwood Fortress and the Combined Luck of Fools

Biome

Dreadwood is located in a temperate broadleaf forest. To the south is a small stream and hills gently roll to the north. The entire forest and vegetation are utterly dead, hence the name. Likewise, the animal life are also mostly undead: foxes and deer, skeletal and zombie. The fortress is located on top of a small bluff with nearby pools of water where toads and turtles are the only legitimately living things. The fortress was founded directly adjacent to the ruins of a previous fortress that was abandoned a year prior.

Group

The Combined Luck of Fools are seven dwarves from the extreme south east (data incomplete):

• Weaponsmith (lvl 5); Appraiser, Judge of Intent; Novice Persuader
• Armorsmith (lvl 5); Novice Furnace Operator
• Blacksmith (lvl 5); Novice Cook, Brewer, Grower
• Metalsmith, Gem Encruster (lvl 5)
• Carpenter (lvl 5); Novice Axedwarf, Wrestler, Armor User, Shield User
• Mechanic, Glassworker (lvl 5)
• Mason (lvl 5); Novice Hammerdwarf, Wrestler, Armor User, Shield User, Woodburner

We departed with large quantities of bismuthine, copper nuggets, cassiterite, and bituminous coal. The plan is to smelt these into our initial wealth the first year until native resources are found. Other resources include an anvil, two loads of bauxite, and 5 turtle. A mere 1 or 2 seeds of each underground crop will have to be planted immediately upon arrival.

History

Year 302

We took very little food and since the surrounding vegetation is all dead, there were no plants to be foraged. This meant that in the spring, while still waiting for the first harvest of plump helmet, The Fools had to tighten their belts and reign in the howling of their hunger. The less busy dwarves fished the nearby ponds and a fishery was temporarily installed to process the turtle that was caught. Since none of us were fisherdwarves by trade, this was an unhappy solution.

Obnoxious Things That Have Happened to Me

Here I will keep a list of some of the more attrocious things Dwarf Fortress does either to me directly or to my dwarves by proxy. Unless noted explicitly otherwise, the following incidents have resulted in abandoning the fortress.

Dwarf cancels drink: unconscious

My mason, while fleeing from a skeletal fox took a kidney punch in the back, lightly wounding her lower spine. Naturally, I retaliated by drafting her so she'd fight back. Grabbing a nearby war-hammer (that was convenient!) she pulverized the fox into so many skeletal bits. Unfortunately, some of the shards must have gotten into her eyes as one was bleeding and the other completely ruined. At this point, my dwarf is falling over unconscious. Why? You have vanquished the skeletal fox! Stand up! Only one eye? That just means you have to turn your head more! Come on, are you a man or a dwarf! She does, eventually, get up and then must have a drink for her efforts have parched her throat, I guess. She makes her way to the barrels of wine below, falling over repeatedly--I assume by running headlong into walls she can't see. By the time she is hunkering over the beer barrels she is now suffering from pain as well as thirst, and yes, the pain is so bad it knocks her unconscious. This has the obnoxious effect of aborting her beer drinking and guaranteeing a slow death by dehydration (which conveniently exacerbates her already intense pain). This process plays out repeatedly. I despair.

None of the other dwarves can be bothered to help her, of course, because in Dwarf Fortress, you're not really injured unless you're dead.