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User:Kydo
Who I Am
I am Kydo, a DF player who enjoys this website a lot and is interested in helping. Mostly with grammatical corrections. (If you see any issues on my page, please point them out to me. Everyone makes mistakes. That's why I'm here.) My real name is Jeff. Not that it matters. In rl, I'm an artist with two years of college under his belt... And no money to complete the rest of the degree. I'm a gamer, I play D&D and dabble in tabletop RPG design, I play videogames excessively, and it all tends to get in the way of my art, really. This is probably just another diversion, I suppose. Oh. And I'm a MAN. Let's make that clear.
I have a DA page if you wish to talk to me about art or what-not. Kydo
Observations
Just a collection of things I've noticed. Read it or not, I don't care. Basically just stuff I want to add as little side-notes to other articles, but am too shy to actually do. I think I'll wait until I understand the editor a bit lot more.
Dead Wagons
Okay, so this illustrates something a little off.
The wagon you start off with is stationary. All it can do is be deconstructed. It doesn't do THAT when you take the thing apart. You just get two pieces of wood.
The wagons traders use are obviously different. For one thing, they move, with two horse-like animals pulling them. (Sometimes they're camels, oxes, donkeys, etc.) They have a width of 3x3 tiles, and cannot pass over a great many objects in the environment. The Depot Accessibility Display shows only the places the center tile can pass over. So long as there's green, the wagon can get there.
The difference between trade wagons and the starting wagon becomes more apparent, in that upon entering the depot, they can be stacked two high, and seem to completely deconstruct themselves from existence.
In the trading article, it claims you can steal from a caravan without marking the objects as stolen, by deconstructing the depot with the traders inside. And it works! Very well! Someone noted that surrounding nations keep track of sent and returned wealth and will still probably invade. I'm tempted to note that dwarfs will never siege dwarfs, meaning you can HEAVILY exploit the trade caravan by deconstructing every time they show up, with NO repercussions... But it also causes the above glitchyness. The wagons, which at the time of depot deconstruction didn't even appear to exist, are now listed as dead, and still do not appear on the map.
When the caravan leaves, the wagons will reappear from the location they originally disappeared on, and wander off the field, leaving their goods behind, and for some reason, remaining in your units list as deceased creatures, despite already having watched them leave your map!
Reconstructing the depot, before or after they leave, even if it's in the same spot, will not "revive" them. Nor will it remove the "deceased" status.
The reason is that the starting wagon is a building, while the wagons the traders use are a creature.
creature_equipment.txt
[OBJECT:CREATURE]
[CREATURE:EQUIPMENT_WAGON]
- [NAME:wagon:wagons:wagon]
- [TILE:'W'][COLOR:6:0:0]
- [EQUIPMENT_WAGON][COMMON_DOMESTIC]
- [NOT_BUTCHERABLE]
- [HAS_RACEGLOSS:WOOD]
- [ITEMCORPSE:WOOD:NO_SUBTYPE:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
- [NOSMELLYROT]
- [BODY:WAGON]
- [SIZE:12]
- [ALL_ACTIVE]
- [NO_GENDER]
- [MATERIAL:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
- [TRADE_CAPACITY:15000]
- [MUNDANE]
TADA! That's why, when you press D to check depot accessibility, it only shows where that center tile can step. That center tile IS the wagon!
Projects
Just whatever things I might be working on. Geology Chart is the only REAL concern at the moment. Whether DFWiki wants it or not; I do.
Industry Flowchart
Yeah, I'm making a flowchart describing the flow of all of the industries together, and how they interact. No easy task. The image is far too large to be reasonably uploaded at the moment, and I'm nowhere near done. Of course, that was kind of predicted.
Requisite Industries
These are industries which produce goods needed to produce other goods, and don't really fit inside any of the other industries.
Fuel Industry: 100%
Gem Industry: 0%
Primary Industries
These are overarching industries which usually contain several related or overlapping sub-industries. They mostly define the overall branching of where your production effort will be going.
Wood Industry: 0%
Stone Industry: 0%
Metal Industry: 40%
Glass Industry: 70%
Food Industry: 0%
Secondary Industries
These are industries which are generally built upon the primary industries, usually more than one.
Crafts Industry: 0%
Clothing Industry: 0%
Soap Industry: 0%
Furniture Industry: 0%
Sub-Industries
These are sub-industries within the overall branchings.
Meat Industry: 0%
Plant Industry: 0%
Alcohol Industry: 0%
Weapons Industry: 0%
Armor Industry: 0%
Geology Chart
This is the WIP Geology chart. It's purpose and intent is to describe the relationships between different kinds of minerals and metals as they appear in the environment of Dwarf Fortress. In constructing this, I have learned a lot about the commonalities, and the differences, between the contents of certain kinds of layers. This is partially due to the layout of the wiki as it stands, and partially due to paying attention.
When I started this project, I originally felt that the overall presentation of the stones and such to be absolutely wretched. However, as I've worked with them, I've learned why they were arranged that way. Even so, the whole thing needs massive cleanup for sure, and I think this would be a good first step. This is still mainly for my personal use.
| Stone | ||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sedimentary | ||||||||||||||
| Name | State | Found In | Contains Stone | Contains Ore | Contains Gems | |||||||||
| Chalk | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Chert | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Claystone | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Conglomerate | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Dolomite | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Flint | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Limestone | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Mudstone | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Rock Salt | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Sandstone | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Shale | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Siltstone | Sedimentary | Layer |
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| Igneous Intrusive | ||||||||||||||
| Name | State | Found In | Contains Stone | Contains Ore | Contains Gems | |||||||||
| Diorite | Igneous Intrusive | Layer |
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| Gabbro | Igneous Intrusive | Layer |
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| Granite | Igneous Intrusive | Layer |
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| Igneous Extrusive | ||||||||||||||
| Name | State | Found In | Contains Stone | Contains Ore | Contains Gems | |||||||||
| Andesite | Igneous Extrusive | Layer |
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| Basalt | Igneous Extrusive | Layer |
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| Felsite | Igneous Extrusive | Layer |
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| Obsidian | Igneous Extrusive | Layer |
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| Rhyolite | Igneous Extrusive | Layer |
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| Metamorphic | ||||||||||||||
| Name | State | Found In | Contains Stone | Contains Ore | Contains Gems | |||||||||
| Gneiss | Metamorphic | Layer |
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| Marble | Metamorphic | Layer |
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| Phyllite | Metamorphic | Layer |
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| Quartzite | Metamorphic | Layer |
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| Schist | Metamorphic | Layer |
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| Slate | Metamorphic | Layer |
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Design Ideas
Standard key
Key: symbol tile · - Empty space + - Constructed floor, or top of wall section from lower level 0 - Isolated wall section ╔╦═╗ ╠╬═╣ - Connected wall ║║ ║ ╚╩═╝ ╬ - Fortifications X - Up/down stairs < - Up stair > - Down stair ▲ - Up ramp/slope ▼ - Down ramp/slope , - natural ground ☺ - dwarf
Anti-Hauling Animal Trainer
I recently noticed that my animal trainer doesn't really need the animal next to him to train it. Specifically, if a dog, (Or any other trainable animal) is on the floor below or above the kennel, the animal trainer can simply walk to the kennel and train it, without hauling the animal or even bothering with uncaging/unrestraining it! I believe the effect only works in a 3x3x3 cube around the center tile of the kennel, where training is actually done. So, theoretically, you could cage all of your animals in a single room directly below the kennels, and be able to train any trainable animal therein without hauling it or releasing it at all. One less job to eat time.
Entry Hall
For an underground trading depot...
A six z-level entry hall, 5 wide, 40 long, filled with traps. It is open through all levels, but has a ceiling at the very top. It is lined with fortifications, which are then lined by staircases, which are then lined by platforms full of food, alcohol and bolts. The end result is that my marksdwarves can move almost any direction they want up and down a fortification wall, firing down into a chamber of whatever threat may appear.
z0
╔════════════════════╗
║++++++++++++++++++++║
║XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX║
╔╩════════════════════╣
║▲ ╚═══
║▲ ·····
║▲ Bridge To Depot ->
║▲ ·····
║▲ ╔═══
╚╦════════════════════╣
║XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX║
║++++++++++++++++++++║
╚════════════════════╝
z+1 and up
╔═══════════════════════╗
║+++++++++++++++++++++++║
║XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX+║
╔══ ╩╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬X+║
║▲· ·····················╬X+║
║▲· ·····················╬X+║
║▲· ·····················╬X+║
║▲· ·····················╬X+║
║▲· ·····················╬X+║
╚══ ╦╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬X+║
║XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX+║
║+++++++++++++++++++++++║
╚═══════════════════════╝
I generally have the fortress guard barracks underneath this, separating my fortress from my prison, which is underneath THAT.
z-1
╔════════════════════╗
║XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX║
║ ║
║ ║
╔═╝ ╚═══
║> Room full of beds To Fortress Spine ->
╚═╗ ╔═══
║ ║
║ ║
║XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX║
╚════════════════════╝
Then, because the ceiling of my murderous entry hall is generally also the floor of the great outdoors, I also build the keep directly up out of the entrance form. The bottom floor of the keep is usually my barracks for my standing military, but it's also occasionally used for my control room, as there's a bridge at the entrance, and a bridge before the depot, to keep things from getting out. Or in. There's also usually lots of other things I have, like atom smashers and spikes. My keep is generally surrounded by the usual gauntlet of traps and marksdwarves from above. The whole thing can, of course, be streamlined for traders by the pull of a lever! I plan to line their path with statues to show how much cooler than them I am.
Jail Design
I've been looking at better ways of designing prisons in such a way as to more effectively rehabilitate prisoners and catch tantrumers before they cause too much damage. Some things I've noticed...
- A restraint allows a dwarf a 3x3x3 cube of movement. This means you can have your jail "cells" have 3 rooms on three levels, increasing the number of nice things you can put around your prisoners.
- Building a well somewhere in your prison complex will decrease the time it takes for water to be delivered to any tantrumers who may have been hurt prior to or during the imprisonment process.
- Putting a barracks full of soldiers between your prison and the rest of your fortress may help. There are ways of escaping, and I like to be careful.
- If a dwarf is unhappy for long enough, they'll go insane. Nearing the end of a fortress, dwarves tend to stay sad for a fair while. Any imprisoned dwarves who go nuts can be locked away (somewhat) safely if you put each restraint in it's own chamber with a door.
- Expanding on the insanity thing, trapping your prison may be helpful, as could guard dogs. Although, I did that more because I had too much of everything. Mostly overkill by that point.
- Expanding on the "too much of everything" tangent, I also designed my prison with a COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOCKDOWN lever. Just in case of an inmate uprising the game isn't normally capable of generating.
- Just for the hell of it, I have been thinking about making a specific execution chamber for prisoners I particularly dislike. Is there any way to control what cell a prisoner is placed in? Aside from locking all but one?
- To reduce the number of dwarves grabbing food/drink/bedding from your prisoners, you can put long hallways with restricted traffic designations. Then only dwarves who are way closer than (random large number) steps from the normal stockpiles or beds will go into the prison.
- Another surefire way to prevent beds from being inappropriately occupied, is to assign a single low-value bed to all of your dwarves. This, of course, becomes a little silly when the economy activates, but it'll help until then.
- If you want to be SUPER accurate, you could simply lock the prisoner's cell until he's free to go, but you'll have to keep track of the sentence, or you may find yourself with a pile of miasmiating dwarf-jerky in your prison, pissing off your guards.
- If I were better at Dwarven computing, I'd try to make a giant adjustable timer that can open a prisoner's cell once their sentence is up.
Ramaban Prison
(Ramaban = Prison Construct)
I am currently making a very large fortress dedicated to the study of dwarven justice, prison, dwarven criminal psychology and general engineering. Mostly, I'm having a lot of bad luck in setting up a functioning fortress to support this, but I guess that just means I'll have guinnae pigs to work with. The current goals were designed to answer questions I've found in regards to prisons and their components from around the wiki. This list is still in the making, and says nothing about the tests I want to run on the military/guard. For example, what would happen if I were to... Say... Free twenty criminals at the same time? Also, I'm working on making the dwarven tantrum engine. It is essentially a sealed off chamber designed to make dwarves angry, commit crimes, and be taken to prison safely, without risking any harm to my fortress.
- How many bars/rocks/sandbags/logs does it take to make a cage of different materials?
- Can creatures breed in cages? (I already know this- No, but they can give birth if they were already pregnant.)
- Do caged criminals need to eat/drink/sleep? If not, this may show an added BENEFIT to using cages in favor of restraints, due to the low maintenance required.
- Will caged prisoners drown?
- Will prisoners caged in magma safe materials melt? or burn, for that matter?
- I must try to get a prisoner to break free from a rope. Beyond that, I've heard a chain of lead can be broken. I want to see if non-weapon-grade chains are breakable.
- Will prisoners re-tantrum while imprisoned? If they do, what happens next? Do they just get a longer sentence?
- Find ways of keeping the hammerer buisy.
- Does a cheery prison actually make any difference at all? I think so, because if they have just a ton of negative thoughts, then the "is happy to be free" thought will become irrelevant as soon as it disappears, leaving the dwarf with nothing but hatred and anger.
- Outdoor prison, to prevent cave adaptation from long sentences?
- Prison security control room.
- The execution chambers. For nobles mostly.
- Communal prison designs, for the efficient use of food and furniture for prisoner happiness, their benefits, and their drawbacks.
- If dwarves do retantrum, see if they'll attack other dwarves within reach.
- Can creatures breed while on restraints? (Yes, absolutely, and excessively.)
- Can restrained creatures fight?
- Can prisoner dwarves fight? I don't care if they fight WELL, I just want to know if they can fight spontaneous attacks.
- That bug where a restraint can be deconstructed, but is still somehow designated to it's animal, and cannot be interacted with any further. Can I replicate it? Can I replicate it on a DWARF?
- If you put an animal in a cage and deconstruct it, the animal stays in the cage. Does a dwarf?
Fort Okilor (testdrink)
Okay, after reading this, I'm curious as to the exact details on a number of things. I'm setting up an experiment fortress, and putting the results here. I'll be uploading the save file elsewhere, for anyone who wants to see working examples of different well types. It is dedicated to one thing only. Wells. Okay, not just wells, but different ways of building and managing wells, and their properties.
- The super-deep well. Because of alligator infested above-land, I cannot yet make a well tower to fully test it, but as far as I can tell, there is no limit to the functional depth of a well. The current super-deep well is 13 levels from bottom to top. The bottom level is at 6/7 depth. The well at the top? Perfectly functional. This kind of bothers me, because if I tied a dog to the chain, it wouldn't be able to go any father than 1 tile away. It means a rope's length is defined by it's function, rather than it's own properties.
- I decided to build another well half way down the same shaft, directly in the path of the one above. It does not block the well above. Both function just fine.
- I constructed a hatch cover even further below, again, on the same shaft as the first two wells. this, of course, blocked the wells, preventing them from functioning. I then connected the hatch to a lever, and pulled the lever, to see if the wells would suddenly become functional again. They did. That means we could use a one-shot pressure plate to close a hatch directly under a well when it senses overflowing water, preventing further flooding. I guess wells don't obscure because they're just a special hole in the ground. I read that grates, though they do allow water to pass through, will also obstruct a well. This is also confirmed. Personally, I'd say it's because a bucket can't fit between the bars, and leave it at that. Even so, grates can be connected to a lever, like a hatch. Don't know why you'd want grates in a well, but okay!
- I've made a single large reservoir underneath the residential district, and put a well in several of the larger bedrooms. Multiple wells can draw from one source, no concerns. All a well considers is whether there is a single tile of 7/7 water somewhere below it in a straight line, with nothing obscuring. Also, a wide well reservoir takes FOREVER to fill. It's virtually impossible to accidentally flood your fortress, when it takes a half hour to go from 0/7 to 5/7. Oh also, in doing this, I've discovered that if you leave any stone on the floor of a well, and it accessible to your dwarves, it is elligible to be selected as an item for construction, from workshops AND architecture. My dwarves have been repeatedly opening the side door my miners used to dig out the well, grabbing stone for construction, and getting out before they drown. My dwarves are quickly becoming excellent swimmers, though my fortress' main stairwell is flooding. I've dug a huge sump to deal with that, and once the stone's been cleared out, I'll just lock the door. (hey, if they aren't drowning, why the heck not?)
- I made a single-tile reservoir for a well, and just filled it from the large one with buckets. Just to see whether even such a small well is functional, given the rate of evaporation. With such a simple well literally directly next to it's source, yes, absolutely. It spams your dwarves with hauling tasks, but it will always be full to what your dwarves need, it will never overflow, it takes up almost no space, dwarves can't die from falling in, (Unless they REALLY suck) and you don't have to mess around with all kinds of complicated things with levers and floodgates and safely mining out filling pipes.
- I tried to get a dwarf to try and fill a pond well from it's own reservoir. I simply forbade all the other wells' buckets. Sure enough, the carpenter came along with a bucket, took water from the only available well, the one he was filling, walked to the other side of the well, and dumped the water back in. To confirm, if your dwarves are filling a well from it's own reservoir, forbid that well's bucket AND rope. If the rope is still usable, they'll still use the well... Somehow.
- By this point, a lot of the alligators had just... Kind of... Left? I dunno. There were five, now there's one. None deceased. In any case, it's much safer to go above ground now, even with the carp, so I'm going to make the super deep well into a super deep, super tall well tower. While making the well tower, the remaining alligator was killed by the carp. Okay, so, at 30 levels above water, I'd say wells have no depth limit, because this thing's still active.
- In doing all of this, I've found a pretty effective way of avoiding flooding your well. Digging out and filling the reservoir first, and not even channeling a hole for the well, completely prevents the well from flooding. So long as you have something, like a flood gate, that can then be used to prevent further flow into the reservoir, it will be filled to 7/7 depth, with no pressure behind it, totally safe to mine into with a channel and build a well on top. It's making sure that there really is no force behind it that gets tricky.
- Okay, my next idea is just sillyness. I'm going to make a well with a running water fall going down through the well into it's reservoir. Usually, I fill my wells from the side of the bottom level of their reservoir, but I've never filled one directly from above the well opening itself. If this works, it'll be a perpetual motion machine, waterfall and well, all-in-one. Oh, and of course I hit Hematite and lignite in the process of mining this out... Oh well, not like I really plan on playing this fort outside of well construction experiments... Okay, that didn't work. I'm-a gonna' save this now, and put it on DFFD, if anyone wants to see examples of what I've made. (Or if they want to make my perpetual motion machine work) Okilor Example
Preventing dwarves from falling down a well is actually fairly easy, from what I can see. I've had a well in my dining room and nobody's ever (to my knowledge) fallen in. Even so, that's mostly just luck. (And short-lived forts) So, to prevent dwarves and animals from falling into wells:
- Put it somewhere out of the way. If your dwarves don't have any reason to path over it, they won't fall into it.
- Surround it with restricted traffic control. Then dwarves will be less likely to actually walk over it, even if they do go through that area.
- Don't make it a meeting hall, or people will throw parties at it, and dwarves don't really care about traffic, when they're on break/partying/nojob, because they aren't trying to find the fastest rout to their task, because they don't have a task. Also, animals like to ignore traffic control.
- For the same reasons, don't put it in a meeting hall.
- Don't put it in a barracks, or around other places where dwarves may be fighting for any reason, as dwarves don't look before they leap. Though, now that I'm thinking about it, it would be funny to watch a bunch of goblins go tumbling down a well... Hm... I'll have to think on that.
- Making a well so it's at the end of a hall, with only one tile dwarves can stand on next to it, will dramatically decrease the chances of anything ever falling in. because then the only reason anything could have to go there, is to use the well, which does not involve standing ON the well.
- Making a well's reservoir shallow, but wide, is also a good idea, I think. A wider reservoir holds a LOT of water, and takes a LONG time to dry out. If a reservoir is shallow, that means a dwarf will only fall one level or so, which can only cause momentary unconsciousness at the worst, from what I've seen of simple cave-ins. That means your dwarves won't fall down the well, break their leg and drown. Making an escape rout from a well is probably also a good idea, I think.
I noticed in the Well guide it says murky pools and brooks can be used as water sources for wells. This should probably be stated there, but just building a well over such a thing is a bad idea. Any dwarf who drinks from a well over stagnant water gets a negative thought about the nasty water. That water only becomes not-bad when you channel it to some other place. On the same line, I've also experienced that simply building a well makes salt water drinkable. Which means that desalinating by pump is not a particularly valuable bug, by comparison, though it makes a tiny bit more sense.
Miscellaneous Writing
This is just... Stuff... I wrote about DF.
Who Were The Seven Dwarves?
From the Perspective of Dwarf Fortress
Okay, so, in Dwarf Fortress, you always start with seven dwarves to build the foundation for your fortress. So, I was looking at the way the seven dwarves in Snow White were set up, just because of the reference. Around this point, I thought to myself, "Hey! I should RE-MAKE the house of the seven dwarves! That sounds like a challenge"
As I went, I noticed that the dwarves in Snow White behave a lot like the dwarves in DF. When they noticed their house was disturbed, their first thoughts were "A ghost, or a goblin, maybe a dragon?" which are, of course, present in DF, and fairly well-renowned dwarf-threateners. And when Dopey came hurtling at them covered in pots and pans, I could just imagine Doc shouting "A Bronze Colossus!"
I love the lyrics of High Ho, as well. They speciffically state that they mine thousands of rubies and diamonds to become rich quick, just because they can dig very well... But they don't really know why. They're just dwarves, is all! Which is exactly how the game plays! You try and build the best, most expensive place out there! Why? Because they're dwarves!!!
Doc inspects jewels and seems to be the leader, so I'm thinking he'd be the expedition leader. He probably also has skill as a gemcutter and gemsetter, which is probably his actual profession. Doc's also kinda' rough. He may have been more of a miner than the rest. Or maybe he was a bit of a soldier? He's good at holding a group together, maybe he was just Fortress Guard for a while?
Grumpy is the dorfiest of them all, opposing all things clean, soft, friendly and non-alcoholic. Which leads me to believe that he's probably their head miner, or perhaps their soldier if the need arises, or maybe he was supposed to be the leader and was later replaced by Doc due to a lack of social skills. In fact, I'm almost certain he was a soldier at one point or another.
I'm thinking sneezy is the grower. Just because that'd be hilarious. The guy who has hay-fever being the one who has to grow all of the plants.
Sleepy's probably their mason. Why? Because whenever I actually need my masons to do something, they're all sleeping, eating, drinking or off on break. So, who else would be better suited for the job? Besides, the only "stone" stuff they have is ceramic, which is a pretty hypnotic craft in and of itself. The guy probably makes masterwork cups in his sleep.
Bashful is extremely undwarvenly. But, I suppose I've had a few dwarves who could be seen as socially awkward. He doesn't seem to have any clear or obvious associated craft, so I think he might be a general craftsman, probably the source of all their instruments and fancy engraved furniture.
Happy's probably the woodcutter, just because woodcutters are almost never at the fortress, and no dwarf could stand someone that sunny all the time. Besides, he probably likes long strolls in the wilderness.
Dopey's probably the hauler, as all he ever does is carry things for them. He seems to lack any other skills. Though he may be a cook or a brewer. Perhaps a trapper or fisher. Maybe he just fills in the easy jobs when everyone else is too buisy? In any case, he lacks a beard, which kind of says a LOT.
Dwarves NEED beards. Without a beard, they're like... Not dwarves or something. The community generally responds to the concept of a beardless dwarf, by referring to him as a sexual deviant, a heretic, a rebel, an elven trickster, a goblin spy, or something to those sorts.
Also, these dwarves actually play the instruments they make. Which is a little off. It may be added to DF later, but for the time being, this sets these seven apart from the rest of dwarven culture. And it isn't like one of them plays it as a craft or something, they ALL do it. They sing, too. It's yodeling, which is mildly appropriate, but it's still singing and dancing. Which is... Kinda'... Elf-y...
And the ease at which six of the seven go along with Snow White's human cleanliness is also unnatrually undwarvenly. Dwarves are known to be quite happy, even extatic, when doused in blood, mud, soot and vomit! Also, Grumpy's opposition is part of my basis for him being the dorfiest of the group.
The whole lot of them are cowards to boot. Not a drawbridge or fortification. Not even a trap! It's like they have no interest in combat or self-defense of any sort, aside from running away from their problems!
In fact, it's also rather strange that they all live in a wooden house above ground, a fair distance away from their mine. Dwarves live underground, under the mountains and in volcanos! They come from the MOUNTAINhomes! Why do these seven choose to live, in fact seem delighted to live, beneath the bewildering blue expanse of the sky?
And they all sleep in one, single, oversized bedroom, which is actually some distance above ground! And not a single chest or cabinet, just their beds, lined right up shoulder-to-shoulder. The beds are assigned, so they must each stand as several overlapping rooms. Or perhaps they're rooms of a single tile?
There's something definitely off about this bunch...
So, here's what I think.
These seven were the weirdos in the fortress. The social deviants. One of them shaves, which is a HUGE deal, one of them's always cheery and laughing, one of them's always wasting time, laying around, one of them doesn't have a backbone to stand with, and the grower is definitely in the wrong profession. And the whole lot of 'em sing and dance around and shit. So, what do they do with 'em?
"Hey, guys! Why don't you head out and start a new settlement east of the human city! If you do a good job, it'll improve trade relations, 'cause they won't have to travel so far! Here's a bunch of picks and axes... And some wood! Have a nice day! GET THE FUCK OUT."
And then, aside from the rest of the group...
"Hey, uh... "Grumpy..." We know you're a pretty good guy, so you pro'lly know we're just givin' you bunch the boot, right? Yeah, we're real sorry 'bout that, but... You hang out with them all the time, and you do play that fruity wood organ, so... We're kinda' thinkin there's a little something wrong in that skull o' yours too. At the very least, watch that bunch and help them do a good job. If you do it right, you might be able to make the place a successful trading camp! ...Er... Yeah... Please put that warhammer down..."
The seven dwarves! A bunch of social freaks and their half-normal friend! Grumpy was supposed to be the leader, and wanted to make their settlement into a proper dwarven keep, so as he might go home. However, when the humans responded better to Doc, and Grumpy lost his position, everything changed. They left the mines, built a house and started living a perfectly unnatural lifestyle with a human woman. That's why Grumpy keeps trying to boss poor ol' Doc around. He still wants to make it work right.
So, what IS wrong with Grumpy? Well, first off, he's a friend with each of these other screwy dwarves. Which means he likes something about each of them. Which, in itself, is undwarfy, even if his own behavior is very dwarfy. For another, he's a master of the butt-accordion-flute-organ, which looks like a ridiculously convoluted instrument to play at all, let alone well. It's also the biggest, most attention-catching instrument they have. Also, Grumpy is quite opposed to anything female. He doesn't seem to have anything against Snow White being a human, but is almost outraged by the fact that she's a woman... Which is strange, because there's nothing manlier than a dwarven woman. So, perhaps he's the only dwarf in the universe to be divorsed? Maybe he's always been turned down for dates? He isn't gay, considering his reaction to Snow White's kiss. Maybe he's just like the rest of them, but is trying his damndest to be normal?
The Value and Nature of Dwarven Justice
Eventually, some dwarf is going to get it in his head that he's going to break shit and hurt people to make himself feel better. When he does, things can go VERY wrong. Early on, it could be the only dwarf with a weapon! Later on, it could be a legendary soldier, or perhaps the dwarf winds up killing the world's most popular cheese maker, making everyone quite upset. What do you do with such a dwarf?
Most fortresses have some form of military presence. But remember; these are not friendly people. They're soldiers! Hired murderers! Violent, dangerous, extremist even! If some tantruming dwarf gets on the bad side of your elite marksdwarf, well, Urist McAngrypants isn't going to be walking away from that encounter. And if the dead tantrumer happened to be the world's most popular cheese maker, that will spread an aweful lot of unhappiness through the fortress!
Dead dwarves make angry dwarves, who make dead dwarves. One way or another.
So, a good way of protecting your dwarves from your army is to have some form of justice running.
It starts with your sherrif. At 20 dwarves, you can assign him. He will work alone in his duties, watching over your small settlement.
The next thing you'll want is a jail. A place to put angry dwarves. You can use cages or restraints. Cages are the easiest to make, as it just requires wood. However, they make dwarves EXTREMELY unhappy, which would kind of perpetuate the problem. Restraints allow the dwarves a 3x3x3 CUBE of movement around their restraint. This gives you the ability to make prison a pleasant place, one which fills your dwarf's mind with comfort and wonder, pushing away the anger, hatred, sadness, depression, spite and other vile memories, and bringing the criminal back to a state of productivity.
So justice becomes a method of protecting your angry dwarves from the military, getting tantruming dwarves away from things they could damage, and turning them back to a happy state.
One should take note that chains, though more difficult to construct, are stronger than ropes, which tantruming dwarves have been seen to break free from... Occasionally.
Keep in mind, also, that without any form of prison, justice will be dispensed in the form of a beating, negating the value of making a sherrif at all.
The number of prison cells required is 1 for every 10 dwarves, rounded down to the nearest ten.
Later, at 50 dwarves, your sherrif will be upgraded to captain of the guard. He now has the training and knowledge needed to control a small army of soldiers dedicated to dispensing justice. This is a good idea. As a fortress grows, so does it's army, and it's problems. The faster your fortress guard can get to a problem that's gotten out of hand, the better off you are. A large fortress guard will respond to any problem before it gets truly out of control.
The fortress guard is a pseudo-military organization. They mostly wander your fortress and train in the barracks. Because they have no active duty, and basically only train, they can become pretty capable. Should your military and defenses fail in halting intruders, your fortress guard will attack them inside the fortress. So, in a way, the guard becomes a sort of failsafe for your active defense. Of course, if they happen to be near a military event, they will assist your soldiers in the defense of the fortress. Being less trained in real combat, they're less likely to survive, but every blade helps.
The hammerer is a noble dedicated to enforcing the fortress guard. If your guard is unable to adequately deal with a crime, the hammerer will seek out the troublemaker and beat them with the warhammer. This will most likely kill them. If it does, all of their friends will become upset. If it only injures him, it will make him EVEN MORE upset than he was before, and thus more of a problem.
The hammerer will only act if your fortress guard doesn't respond to a problem for a fair while. If you have no guards, no justice task will be assigned, and the hammerer will have nothing to respond to. However, any major problems WILL result in military action, which basically means death.
So! Make sure your fortress guard is of an adequate scale, are fairly well trained, and have adequate prison space. Make sure your prison is a very nice place. Do these things, and any violent dwarves will be safely imprisoned and rehabilitated rather than killed.
You need 1 fortress guard for every 10 dwarves, not including the captain, who functions as a soldier, meaning you can control him somewhat.
The Royal Guard is made available when you get blueblooded nobles. Barons, Counts, Dukes, Kings and their consorts. The royal guard's purpose is to defend these people specifically. They are a military organization and WILL kill anyone who causes trouble for them. Of course, they will by association, protect anyone around the nobles as well. So they end up becoming an additional full military presence inside your fortress. They also become another reason to keep your fortress guard in tip top order.
You need 1 royal guard for every 20 dwarves.
Nobles like seeing a well-oiled justice system. It makes them feel safe and confident. They couldn't care less about the army, so long as you have enough fortress guard, enough prison space and enough royal guard. Keeping nobles happy is a good idea, as they are dwarves like any other, and will tantrum if made unhappy enough. Of course, the value in this is questionable. Nobles do nothing but the most menial of tasks, which any and all other dwarves can and will do. They eat your food and drink your booze. They demand expensive lodgings. They make export bans and demand specific things be produced. If a banned item is traded, even if by accident, or a production order ignored, even if it's base materials are imposible to procure, the offending dwarf will be given a sentencing. If your gaurd doesn't have enough prison space, or is too buisy to respond in a timely manner, the dwarf may be beaten, or worse, attacked by the hammerer should he be present. Nobles control the economy, demanding taxes from the people who actually do the work, while they themselves do nothing but lounge about, fuck, eat and drink. If a dwarf has little work in his position, he may lose his home, or even the ability to pay for his meals. This makes said dwarf extremely unhappy. It also means that hard-working dwarves may be evicted from the lovely rooms you've built for them ages ago. All in all, it's best to have a fortress guard, but the royal guard and nobles?
Give them a lever to pull, and watch the gore fly.
What Good is Wood?
Early players tend to quickly realize that it is MUCH easier to dig out everything you need, than it is to build walls and floors and the like, and even then, it's easier to build things from the stone you recieved from mining out your accomodations anyways. This leads a lot of newbies to think, "What's wood really for, anyways, aside from beds?"
So, here's what wood is good for.
1. Beds. No, seriously, it's pretty important. You can't assign bedrooms without beds, and nobles want them. The value of nobles, well, that's up to you. At the very least, keep the useful (appointed and dungeon master) nobles happy.
2. Fuel. Again, I'm not kidding. Not every map has magma, and magma has lots of issues. You have to be very careful with it, or you could melt everyting in your fortress. You have to take care when finding it, to avoid flooding. You also need to worry about the creatures that live in magma, and the vermin that appear by finding it. Also, magma tends to be present in rather rugged, difficult areas to survive in, not exactly suitable for newbies. It's pretty hard to farm on a mountainside with no soil or water.
3. In HEAVILY forested areas, wood and stone can essentially become interchangeable, even if you're turning half of it into fuel and trade crafts!
4. Another kind of craft you can make and sell. Also useful if you want to start elven war due to bored soldiers.
5. Makes good training equipment.
6. Good for temporary shit like scaffolding, or stuff you intend to smash into oblivion. Also good if you want to start a controlled fire of some sort.
7. ASHES.
8. Why would anyone want ashes, you ask? Ashes can be made into lye, which is an ingredient in soap.
9. More importantly however, ash and lye can be turned into potash, which can be used to furtilize your farm plots! Keep in mind that you can store more lye in a stockpile than you can potash.
10. Potash can be made into pearlash at a kiln, which is pretty awesome if you have sand. Why?
11. With sand, pearlash and fuel, you can make clear glass. In a heavily forested, sandy area, this means INFINITE WEALTH, as you'll virtually never run out of trees, and CERTAINLY won't run out of sand. Sand bag production can be sped by weaving pigtails grown in the sand and fertilized with extra potash, into bags.