User:Jpwrunyan

I like waterfalls.

Obnoxious Things That Have Happened to Me

Here I will keep a list of some of the more attrocious things Dwarf Fortress does either to me directly or to my dwarves by proxy.

Dwarf cancels drink: unconscious

My mason, while fleeing from a skeletal fox took a kidney punch in the back, lightly wounding her lower spine. Naturally, I retaliated by drafting her so she'd fight back. Grabbing a nearby war-hammer (that was convenient!) she pulverized the fox into so many skeletal bits. Unfortunately, some of the shards must have gotten into her eyes as one was bleeding and the other completely ruined. At this point, my dwarf is falling over unconscious. Why? You have vanquished the skeletal fox! Stand up! Only one eye? That just means you have to turn your head more! She does, eventually, get up and then must have a drink for her efforts have parched her throat, I guess. She makes her way to the barrels of wine below, falling over repeatedly--I assume by running headlong into walls she can't see. By the time she is hunkering over the beer barrels she is now suffering from pain as well as thirst, and yes, the pain is so bad it knocks her unconscious. This has the obnoxious effect of aborting her beer drinking and guaranteeing a slow death by dehydration (which conveniently exacerbates her already intense pain). This process plays out repeatedly. I despair.

None of the other dwarves can be bothered to help her, of course, because in Dwarf Fortress, you're not really injured unless you're dead.