Editing ASCII art reward/G-L

{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center; margin: 1em auto 1em auto"
! colspan=4 | [[ASCII Art Reward]]s (alphabetically by contributor)
|-
| [[ASCII Art Reward/A-F|A &ndash; F]]
| [[ASCII Art Reward/G-L|G &ndash; L]]
| [[ASCII Art Reward/M-S|M &ndash; S]]
| [[ASCII Art Reward/T-Z|T &ndash; Z]]
|}

[[Category:Humor and stories]]

==[[User:Geoffrey|Geoffrey]]==
===(14 July 2014)===
<pre>@+U+++,,..,,.?S?</pre>
"You must save us, Gunnar!" cried the dwarf Aliz.  "We of the fortress
lack the military discipline that you have."

"The Plump Helmet festival is in three days time," said Gunnar.  "If I
slay the giant cave spider, I would have my pick of the dwarven
maidens to be my bride."

"Of course, Sir Wuulfhelm," said the dwarf after a moment's pause.
"You will have whatever you want!"

The threat to the dwarf fortress was that great.  The spider must have
eaten half a dozen dwarven miners once it emerged from the underground
layers.  It was a sign of desperation that the dwarves had turned to a
human.  But all of the dwarf heroes had already been eaten!  Gunnar
Wuulfhelm was their only hope.

Sir Wuulfhelm had come from the great magician's city of Etwersbrot,
but he knew little of the Art.  What he did know was how to slaughter
giant monsters, a talent for which he was known far and wide.  Aliz
knew that none of the dwarf girls would be thrilled to marry a human,
but maybe they would make an exception for the bravest warrior the
world had to offer.

==[[User:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]]==
===(7 January 2011)===
<pre>aa,.a,.W,.%,%%,.T</pre>

The wizard walked barefoot along the sandy lake bottom, schools of
axolotls swimming around his toes.  Through the murky water, the
wizard could see the remains of a wrecked ship.  The salamanders
guided him through a hole in the wooden hull.  In the darkness the
wizard noticed the faintest light.  It was coming from a chest half
buried in the sand.

Before the wizard could open the treasure chest a shock wave shot
through the water, knocking the wizard flat on his back.  The ship
tore in half revealing a huge monster covered in waving aquatic
plants.  It was the titan of the lake.  The axolotls scattered in all
directions.  The wizard scuttled backward.  He could not speak, making
his charms useless.  It was to be a battle of flesh and steel.

<pre>|oW++|#######N#N#N#NN#NN#NN</pre>

Many of you remember the tale of the lake.  Your dwarf mothers and
fathers warned you not to go near, lest the giant axolotl eat you.
Now that the wizard had tempted fate by entering the lake titan's
domain, all were in danger.  The wizard was clever, transforming
himself into a fish and gobbling up the magic pearl, then swimming
away before the giant salamander could find him.  When he emerged from
the waters, he changed his shape into that of a pelican and flew away.
The titan was furious and took out its frustrations on people who
lived near the shore.

“Forgive us, mighty Hetain,” screamed the villagers.

It was too late and they knew it.  The poor people hardly protested as
Hetain transformed them into horrible, bloodthirsty monsters and sent
then on their way to find the thieving wizard.  They stretched their
new wings and launched into the night's sky.  There wasn't much time
before dawn, and the newly reborn night creatures could not travel
during daylight.

“Father,” asked one of the night creatures, “do you think that mighty
Hetain will allow us to die after we return the pearl?”

“Our lives,” said the older night creature, “have always been those of
service and toil.  Before Hetain, we served the dwarven king.  All we
can do is serve our betters faithfully.  Then, perhaps, we shall
receive our just reward.”

Arriving at his tower, the wizard threw off his bird shape and reached
into his mouth, withdrawing the magic pearl.  The old man had spent
most of his life searching for enchanted artifacts such as this.  It
was a goal of his since youth to be the greatest wizard the world had
ever known.  For this end, he had to take chances.  Stealing the pearl
was no small thing.  In belonged to one of the Four Titans who had
existed since the world was young.  He knew the pearl was cursed, but
it had to be his all the same.

==[[User:Haedrian|Haedrian]]==
===(11 August 2011)===
<pre>++@=@++++</pre>

Inside or outside, the dwarf fortress was an ugly place.  Black smoke
rose from its misshapen stacks, and beneath the menacing gatehouse,
poor hill-dwarves moved under armed guard to bring their offerings to
Count Agak.

The Count had long been allergic to light.  His case of cave
adaptation was more pronounced than any ever known.  His skin was pale
and shot through with spidery veins.  His eyes were red and bloodshot.
Even in the dark, he looked sickly, and he never touched a morsel on
the feast days.

"The Count is a vampire," said Roder.

"Silence," said fair Nel.  "What if the guards hear you?"

"Tell me you aren't suspicious," said Roder.  "Have you ever seen the
Count eat or drink?  Or his guards?  I don't know if I would even
recognize them underneath their plated armor.  No.  We need proof.
Then we need deliverance."

==[[User:Haggle|Haggle]]==
===(18 January 2011)===
<pre>@@@@++U+%++||,.,.MU,.MU,.MU</pre>

"Toward the light," cried Sot, master of the moth riders.  The
squadron descended in wild corkscrews, falling toward the dwarf
fortress.  But Sot had dived too soon.  Flaming arrows shot up from
the castle walls, confusing the giant insects.  Sot's mount took three
hits and died in mid air.  The moth leader took the reins hard and
tried to pull the moth out of a death spiral.  He hit the ground hard
and rolled across the paved stone, jumping up in a combat stance.
When he saw the two dozen dwarves that approached him, he took off his
chitin helmet, pointed at the closest dwarf and spoke.

"Let's see what you've got, half-man."

==[[User:Hazmat|Hazmat]]==
===(24 April 2010)===
<pre> ||U+++WWWbbbbWb </pre>

Night, thief of all cheer. When has the sun set on a happy soul in
Bonverland? Everyone knows the terror that lurks behind every shadow,
ever since the evil knight Galrod took up residence in Highthorn
castle. Werewolves and blendecs were at his command. It was said
that only one thing could end his cursed life, the Golden Shank of
Allmine. The people wailed with misery, for the shank was said to be
in the deep dungeon of a dwarf fortress many leagues to the east. It
was a time of mass panic. That was until the hero Mandack arrived.

==[[User:Hellrider|Hellrider]]==
===(12 April 2012)===

<pre>++g+++@@@</pre>

Goblin master thief Garu picked his way through the irrigation ditch
of the dwarf fortress.  The dwarves were fools to leave the floodgate
open during the dry season.  There were fewer traps down there.  It
wasn't long before he reached the mushroom fields.  There were a few
gardeners here and there but nothing that proved much of a challenge.

Once inside, Garu shed his black cloak in exchange for the robes of a
monk of Alak.  He passed silently by the dwarves, a long hood hiding
his face.  Slowly, he made his way to the meeting hall.  There were a
bunch of dwarf youths posing and trying to look tough.

"You are impressive," said Garu.

"What's it to you, holy dwarf?" said the most obnoxious of the dwarves.

"It's just that I heard from Zuglar that you were a weakling and a
coward," said Garu.  "He said he'd wait for you in the lower warehouse
if you were dwarf enough."

"You tell that son of an elf I'll be there," shouted the dwarf.

==[[User:Hellzon|Hellzon]]==
===(17 December 2007)===
<pre>,.@@~~o~~~</pre>

A rock plopped into the cave river from the platform above.  There
Durgal and the dwarf girl sat, above the murky waters.  Durgal
explained, in great detail, his plans for the future.  When the riches
of the mountain were plundered, he would diagram the plans for a
second fortress himself.  How the dwarves would love him!

"But in your haste for riches," asked the girl, "would you have time
for the ones you love?"

Durgal's face became red as a cave turnip.  He looked quickly away
from her and stared into the dark water.  There, eyes gazed up to meet
him.  Durgal reached for his axe, telling the girl to warn the others.
A pale, slimy hand reached out of the depths and pulled the creature
upward.  It was an olmman!

===(3 September 2008)===
<pre>ff,@,.@,o~~~~~</pre>

"Back!" cried Durgal, "back to the hall!"  The dwarf girl turned and
screamed.  Two blind cave fish men blocked the way out.  Durgal turned
and swung his axe at the olmman, now completely out of the water.  It
deftly dodged his panicked swings.  The dwarf girl screamed as the
cave fish men crawled toward her, arms outstretched, feeling their way
along the floor.

"By the power of the Lordaxe!" screamed Durgal, holding his axe aloft.
The dungeon rumbled.  The sound of water crashed through the tunnel.
The fighters were swept away.  The olmman grabbed Durgal's axe arm as
they were washed through the watery tunnel.  The dwarf pulled a dagger
from his belt and jammed it into the monster's guts.

"Gula!" cried Durgal, bursting above the surface of the water.  He
pulled the axe free of the olmman's grasp and brought the pommel down
on its head, knocking it senseless.  "Gula!" he cried again.  With
sudden terror, Durgal recalled where this tunnel led -- the chasm.
Only a few seconds until the ultimate terrible plunge.

"Durgal!" cried the dwarf girl, Gula.  With all his strength, he
stretched to reach her in the crashing water.

==Insanity Prelude==
===(1. I forgot, sometime in 2009)===
<pre>c@,.ccccccccccc@ccccc@ccc@cccccccccc</pre>
Kittens roamed through the halls, as dwarf tanner Kramer worked the
cat skins.  It seemed his work would never end.  The uncounted vermin
in the fortress made the cat bellies full, and they bred out of
control.  Baron Zarkin issued a final order:  "Suffer no cat to live."
Death squads searched the corridors for felines, and brought the
bodies to Kramer.  It was a tough job; Kramer admired cats for their
aloofness.  Someone tapped him on the shoulder.  It was cat-lord
Tainaria.

"Who are you?" asked Kramer.

"Who I am is not important," said the beast-woman.  "Don't you feel
that what you are doing is wrong?"

"Yes," said the dwarf, "but…"

===(2. December 10, 2009)===
<pre>cccc,c,.C@.</pre>

"Stomer," said Tainaria, snapping her clawed fingers, "take him."

An enormous walking cat emerged from the shadows.  It was striped and
grey with a round golden belly.  In its paws it held a large brown
sack.  The cat people pounced on Kramer, tackling him to the ground.
They kicked and stomped him until he was knocked senseless.  Tainaria
looked on as Stomer poured the dwarf into the sack.

Kramer awoke, suffocating in the damp confines of the sack that was
his prison.  The sack bounced up and down as the cat ran.  At last
Kramer was thrown down onto the mud.  He peered out of the bag into
the nauseating sunlight.  He felt a sharp kick to his ribs.

"Come out, killer!" shouted Tainaria.

The dwarf crawled out onto the mossy ground.  He looked around as the
tall trees and thick green ferns.

"This is the elf forest," said Kramer.

Stomer drew his lips back across his teeth in a grotesque mockery of a smile.

"You," said Kramer, "you're not going to leave me out here!?"

==[[User:jaccarmac|jaccarmac]]==
===(19 November 2013)===

<pre>,%.%.@.%@/%ggggg</pre>

Nothing save dragon's fire was hotter than Cendra's fury at the goblin
invaders.  Limbs and heads bounced along the mining tunnel as the
dwarf warrioress chopped them left and right.  Ever since Darkmaster
the Evil mounted his campaign against the dwarf fortress, no one was
safe.  It was to dwarves like Cendra that all owed their freedom and
probably their very lives.

“To the right!” shouted Kogan.

Ducking just in time, Cendra twirled around and planted her axe dead
in the goblin's chest.  Kogan had been Cendra's blade brother as long
as she could remember.  It made it all the more tragic when he finally
fell to Darkmaster's henchmen.  But let us talk of happier times...

==[[User:Janus|Janus]]==
===(12 October 2006)===

<pre>BgB
B@g
gBB</pre>
Beak dogs and goblins surround the adventurer!  What will happen next?!

===(13 February 2007)===
<pre>gg...
.B.B=
..BB.
.%B@/
.-...</pre>
One of the five beak dogs pounced.  Rogar leapt, planting a foot on the beast's head and propelling himself toward the tattoed goblin.  Just as they collided, Rogar planted his dagger through the goblin's left eye.  They hit the ground hard, and Rogar rolled forward to his feet, spinning to face the remaining eight opponents.  The beak dog he had jumped on was still shaking its head, wincing.  Behind them stood a wiry goblin with a wild mane of maroon hair, brandishing a scimitar, and a lardy goblin holding an iron-studded club.

The beak dogs charged Rogar in unison.  His dagger was stuck back in the twitching goblin's face, but weaponless he stood his ground before them.  The first dog to reach him received Rogar's knee under its chin, the long cruel spike at the top of the warrior's half-greave piercing the creature's throat.  Two more beak dogs reached him as he twisted his leg in the air, trying to free it from his bleeding adversary.  The beasts slammed into him, one getting a hold of his right arm above the elbow, the other gnashing at his face.  Before it could tear his nose off, Rogar grabbed it by the neck with his left hand and held it back.  The other dog sank its beak deeper into the flesh of Rogar's arm.  Could this be the end?!

===(5 May 2007)===
<pre>|+@g+++</pre>

Rogar awoke in pain, his wrists in chains, his wounded arm throbbing.  He opened his eyes only to be greeted by an all-encompassing darkness.  This must be Shalthidon's dungeon, which meant that he was locked inside the Tower of Hate from which no man had ever returned.

A dim light flickered some distance away, and he could see the silhouetted bars of his prison.  Beyond them, shadows danced, and he heard a grating sound.  The bars slid aside, and the lardy goblin waddled into the chamber holding a torch.

The foul creature stood below Rogar where he hung, an idiot grin perking up the otherwise sagging jowls of its bloated face.

"The master says you are to be entertained," it croaked as it continued to smile.

"I do not desire such pleasures as Shalthidon has to offer," Rogar answered.  "Be off with you.  The larder has grown lonely."

"The master says you are to feel the fire," the thing chortled.  The goblin lifted the torch and took a step toward Rogar.

It was enough.  Rogar lashed out with his legs, hooking them around the goblin's neck.  In a feat of strength that would become legend, Rogar strained against the chains on his arms, lifting the massive goblin and all its corpulence from the floor.  There was a sickening crack, and the fixtures in the ceiling gave way.  Rogar fell into the goblin's lardy folds, pushing away desperately until he regained his feet, ready to fight, but the goblin was already dead with a broken neck.

Fortunately, the torch had not been smothered.  The warrior picked it up and held it high.  There was nothing else in the cell.  Aside from the chains, the torch was his only possession.  Now it's the master who'll be entertained, Rogar thought, as he strode out into the passageway.

===(7 August 2007)===
<pre>@+++"E"</pre>

Rogar strode toward the great iron doors, leaving a trail of blood that was not his own.  In his hand he held a scimitar and from each of his wrists the chains still hung.  All of the servants of Shalthidon that lurked within the Tower of Hate were now dead, save whatever was in this room at the pinnacle of the tower.  The sword he had seized from the maroon-maned goblin, who had led the goblins in the tower barracks.

The warrior pushed hard on the iron doors and they opened inward with a groan.  There, surrounded by brightly colored flowers, was an elf.  The sun shone down on the tower top through windows in the elegant curved ceiling.  The entire room sparkled.

"Are you a prisoner here?  Where is Shalthidon?" Rogar asked urgently.

The elf chuckled pleasantly.  "Child, Rogar, I am Shalthidon.  My parents named me Lilarilqua, but my attempts to hold the goblins under my sway with that name met with disaster.  Are you cold?  Let me fetch you something warm."  Shalthidon fished around under a dresser and pulled out a plush cloak with lacy frills.  "The material was all offered freely from the feather trees, Rogar.  You don't have to worry about the animals."

Rogar was still stunned.  Shalthidon, the Bringer of Ruin, murderer of his parents, lord of the evil of the creeping wastes that had engulfed half the world, was an elf.  Dispelling the cloud over his mind, the warrior focused.  That will only make killing him all the more satisfying, he thought.  Rogar lifted his blade and advanced.

==Japa==
===(27th December, 2010)===
<pre>llllllllllllllllllll,.@,.@@@@@@@@@@@@</pre>

There was a beast called the Strangler that lived deep in the forest.
No one knew what forces woke it, but one night it scaled the walls of
the dwarf fortress with its four long arms and caught the dwarf king
as he was star gazing on the royal balcony.  Without a moment's
hesitation, the monster pitched the king over the side to meet a
violent death at the base of the mountain.

At dawn's light the dwarves set out in search of the creature.
Captain Aliz, who had been trusted with the safeguarding of the king's
life, now sought vengeance.  He lead his posse of a dozen dwarves,
with twenty gray langurs leading the way.  As they entered the forest
Aliz pounded his chest and prayed the Forge Father for victory.

===(4th February, 2011)===

<pre>lllllTS-@,lllll,.@@@@</pre>

At the base of an ancient tree, a langur called out.  As the dwarves
came rushing, swords drawn, more gray langurs scaled the tree.  The
strangler stirred from its den.  Its four muscular arms flexed as it
crawled from the knot in the tree.  It blinked its three black eyes
and gave out a loud hoot through its shark-like teeth.

The monkeys pounced one after another and the strangler knocked them
away.  They kept coming and even the four hands of the monster were
not enough to swat them all.  The langurs grabbed onto the monster's
legs.  Others mounted the strangler's head and poked its eyes as the
dwarves cheered below.

Branches cracked and snapped as the strangler fell.  With a mighty
crunch, the monster slammed into the forest floor.  As the dwarves
closed in, the strangler coughed up blood, clearly dying.  Aliz
prodded his sword under the creature's chin.

"Who sent you?" demanded the dwarf.

"You know very well who," said the monster as it died.

===(23rd May, 2011)===

<pre>++Ao@++</pre>

It could only be Malfacto, the evil necromancer.  Once Malfacto was a
greedy dwarf with his eyes on the throne.  Universally loathed, the
wretched dwarf wandered the wilds, finding that not even the animals
would tolerate him.  He wasted his days away, scavenging meat like a
jackal and playing with bare bones.

It was at the depths of his insanity that a vision came to him.  It
was an angel clothed in darkness, a spirit of some foreign religion.
It beckoned to him and he came, through the jungle and to a lost
temple.  As he neared the temple's entrance he had to do his best to
avoid stepping on the human bones that littered the ground.

The entire time he was in the temple, Malfacto couldn't shake the
feeling that the ever-present skulls turned to watch him.  The shade
lead him to the altar at the center of the ossuary.  On top was a
table marked with dashes and dots, some alien language.  The angel
moved its hand over the markings and they became words in the dwarven
tongue.

Such were the beginnings of Malfacto, and Aliz knew he had to stop
him.  No dark wizard would sit on the throne.  He ordered the monkeys
made ready.  There would be more than jungle monsters to hunt tonight.

===(24th April, 2012)===

<pre>@/+++ahssGccbGshggg</pre>

The forest was creepy, dark and deep, but Aliz had far to go before he
reached Malfacto's temple.  The monkeys fanned out, beating the bushes
and trees and howling as Aliz loaded a bolt into his crossbow.  How
low could a dwarf sink?, he thought.  Malfacto the dark wizard.
Malfacto the cannibal cultist.  It would all end tonight.

Something rushed through the bushes, excited by the grey langurs.
Aliz aimed his weapon.  It was a rhesus macaque, the eyes of the
enemy.  The animal just barely dodged the bolt shooting past its left
ear.  Aliz hooted to his monkeys and they gave chase.

When the dwarf monkey master reached the macaque, it wasn't in good
shape.  Aliz came to it and grabbed it by the chin.  He raised its
head to him and stared into its remaining eye.

"Malfacto," said Aliz, "I know you are in there.  Know you will pay
for the life you took, your rightful king."

-

"Master?" asked the australopithecus.  "Did you have the dream again?"

"The hero is near," said Malfacto, rising from his sarcophagus.
"Ready the apes."

The creature ran from the room panting as the evil wizard brushed the
dust from his robes.  Once the champion was dead, nothing would stand
between him and the crown.  Slowly, he made his way to the top of the
pyramid.  Venomous plants snaked their way all over the stone slabs.
Once at the top, he surveyed his army.  Hundreds of simians of all
types and descriptions jumped and howled before the temple.  A homo
habilis arrived with Malfacto's staff.  Taking it, he spoke.

"Soon they will know to fear our power!" shouted Malfacto.

A siamang began to hoot and soon all the apes were howling and beating
their chests.  The jungle was alive with hatred.  Aliz could hear them
from almost a league away.  It was clear now that the wizard must be
stopped.  Aliz could very well be the only dwarf standing between the
fortress and oblivion.

==[[User:Jevon|Jevon]]==
===(13 June 2011)===

<pre>,.gg,.\@,.ggg</pre>

Waves of arrows rained down on Aliz's machine.  It was not a machine, in truth, but a suit of armor, powered by its user to great strength. Aliz himself wore the machine now, wading into the goblin ambush to check the kinks in the system.  Once he returned the king would reward him handsomely and he could continue his research well-funded.

The goblins came out from behind the rocks to inspect the curiosity. The thing was the shape of a dwarf, but made of metal.  It held an axe but was far from threatening because it moved so slowly.  The lead goblin snatched the axe out of the dwarf's hand.  As the other goblins laughed, the chief kicked the contraption on its side.  Aliz wondered how he might escape alive.

==[[User:Jibz|Jibz]]==
===(25 December 2011)===
<pre>###N,.,.o@,.@</pre>

Far below the pond grabbers in the underground seas in the depths long
forgotten, a beast awoke.  Scratching, itching, biting.  It was the
little ones again.  The beast put a claw over its aching head.  Didn't
they remember the last time they pulled this?  The beast was still
trying to get the taste out of its mouth.  With a turn of its tail,
the monster rose from the murky water.

"Are you going to the mead hall after work?" asked Aliz.

"Nah," said Mokez, chipping off another piece of microcline, "I don't
think those guys understand me anymore."

Suddenly, a crack formed in the end of the tunnel.  Mokez started.  It
was unlike him to miss cues like this.  Call it ‘female trouble,' he
thought.  Aliz scuttled up to see.  A hole was forming before them.
Quickly the dwarves rushed back up the mineshaft.

"You saw it," said Aliz.

"Re-wall," replied Mokez.  "Dwarves have been here before."

"But it must have been an age ago," started Aliz.  "You saw the rock…"

Crash!  A huge claw shot up through the shaft and landed in between
the miners.  Aliz ran to call the guard, while Mokez stayed behind
throwing rocks.  The monster was a giant black newt with external ribs
and massive claws.  Mokez stared into the creature's third eye and
dropped his stone.  There was a connection.

==[[User:.Jim|Jim]]==
===(29 December 2008)===
<pre>,.U\U,.....M,.UUH..</pre>

So unsteady was the rule of the land that no one walked the halls of
Castle Sanazar alone.  It had become fashion for the lords to stab
each other in the back, or perhaps poison each other's beer steins.
Not even a squire was safe.  Rumors of war spread as did the news of
Sanazar's weakness.  The king called an audience of all the knights of
the realm.  A quest was called for -- something to prove the kingdom's
legitimacy.

The tables of the great hall filled with mighty knights as squires
rushed back and forth filling cups.  The king looked on silently
through sunken eyes, having recently lost his ability to speak.  He
motioned his consort to stand forth to deliver his proclamation.  She
was a handsome woman, recently bound to the king, from a kingdom far
to the north.

"The flower that is Sanazar," she said, "is wilting and sick.  While
we fight amongst ourselves, hungry jackals vie for their part of the
carcass.  What we need is a hero, and what better to prove a hero than
a mighty quest!  Far to the east lays Forgotten Quilts, an ancient
dwarf fortress abandoned long ago.  It is said that within can be
found Gilded Lunch, the golden artifact boot.  Return with the boot,
and return a hero!  Who will take the challenge?"

"I shall!" boomed a voice from the end of the hall.

Through the door came Bram, mighty barbarian warrior, a squire
following behind, eyes downcast.  The hall erupted into Chaos.  How
could this outsider be given the quest?  The king's consort looked on
the barbarian, heart racing.  "What makes you think you are up to the
task?" she said.

"May I know thy name Madame?" asked the barbarian.

"Scandala," said the consort, brushing a blond hair from her face.

"Lady Scandala," said Bram, "I have slain dragon, cyclops, and ogre.
There is nothing under the sky that I fear."

That same day, Bram found himself on a horse on the road to Forgotten
Quilts, his squire Dolphin on a mule trailing behind.  The lords of
the realm had not taken it well.  Without the Mandate of the King,
returning with the boot would be useless.  Bram must die.  No knight
knew this better than Crusier, cruel black night of Petoun.  That very
night he left the castle with his squire, taking the fast roads to
arrive on the trail before the hero.

"Help!" cried the boy, "Oh help!"

"Don't trust it Bram," said Dolphin.  "I recognize that boy, a squire
from the hall."

"A countryman in distress is just that," said the hero dismounting his
horse and drawing his sword.

As he approached, he found the boy laughing.  "Let's see how fast you
can complete your quest without horses!" yelled the boy.

Bram spun around to see Crusier leap upon Dolphin and, a knife to the
boy's throat, ride away on Bram's horse.  The evil squire laughed
until Bram turned and brought his sword across the boy's face, leaving
a deep gash in his cheek.  "I have marked you," said the barbarian,
"for you are mine now.  Lead me to your master's den.  Know that if he
harms a hair on Dolphin's head, there won't be enough of you left to
fill your god forsaken tomb!"

==[[User:jmullan|jmullan]]==
===(2 March 2012)===
(I donated in honor of my friend Zach J's birthday, since he is too afraid to play DF)
<pre>@@||,.,,..,.,U..,uuuuUuu</pre>

The dwarf fortress at Mount Hope was once the pride of the empire.
Pilgrims came from every corner of Allsphere to glory in its great
halls and carved pillars.  But years pass, and all that shines goes
dim.  The empire was overthrown and monsters roamed freely through the
land.  Some sought shelter at Mt. Hope and were always turned away.
It was this discourtesy that would spell the doom of the fortress.

"Will you let us in?" shouted the monk.

"No, sir!" laughed the dwarf from the high wall.  "Find somewhere else to die."

"Why not just take the little ones?" pleaded the monk.  "Even if they
were vampires, they couldn't do much harm."

"Take your lying, no good carcass of my property," said the dwarf, "or
I will shoot you down."

The monk was still for a moment.

"You will find," said the holy man, "that your walls don't protect you
from the evils of this world.  They were built to hold a greater evil
inside.  In time you beg to be let out."

The dwarves pelted the refugees with rocks until they fled.  They did
not give a single thought to the monk's warning, but they would all
remember it when the time came.  It was only a matter of days before
the killings started.  A dwarf would go missing for a week, then a
body would turn up drained of blood, and that was only the beginning.

==[[User:John Tait|John Tait]]==
===(4 November 2007)===

<pre>+@++\M+</pre>

The young adventurer stepped up to the statue, torch in hand.  After a quick inspection he grasped the stone minotaur's horn.  He gave it a sharp yank and just as Albert foretold, the rock hand opened dropping the Sword of Fire into the adventurer's waiting hands.  The stones in the ceiling above began to rumble, as if the temple itself was being rocked from its foundations.  Throwing his cloak over his head, the young man made his way to the entrance, dodging the falling stones.


==[[User:JoystickHero|Joystick Hero]]==
===(14 September 2010)===
<pre>%W%%W%    ,.,."","@@@@".,@</pre>

Fires burned on the high mountain.  The wind carried the cries of the
dwarves as all they ever cared about was destroyed.  But one dwarf had
not given in to despair.  It was Malvedar, slayer of dragons and
veteran of a thousand famous battles.  He watched the dwarf fortress
burn from his hiding place in the wooded slope.  There would come a
time when the enemy was not so lucky, when his schemes failed.  That
would be when they remember what they did to the dwarves this day and
would expect no mercy.

"Lord Malvedar," said a dwarf soldier, "I think the werewolves have
caught our scent."

The dwarf warlord nodded.  Together, the ragged band of dwarven
survivors made their way down the slope.  The road back to the
mountain homes was long and full of danger, but there was nowhere else
left to go.  While others cried, Malvedar resisted the urge to throw
himself on the enemy.  He would kill many, but not enough before he
was brought low.  No.  It would be a hard time, and a long time, but
he would have his satisfaction.

==[[User:Jupotter|Jupotter]]==
===(3 March 2012)===

<pre>////+++U\N+\\\\</pre>

At the top of the great stone temple, the high priest vampire held a
bone dagger over the victim under the light of the full moon.  The
evil spirit rose over the altar, changing the moonlight to a blood red
hue.  Another heartbeat and the victim's eyes snapped open.  A scream
tore the night as the final blow fell.

"If it is spring, Grandfather," said the kid, "why are the days getting colder?"

Old man Udma patted the boy on the shoulder.  This could only mean one
thing.  Gonra had returned.  Upon reaching to his hut, Udma found his
hiding place and retrieved the sword Sangrak, the vampire slayer.  But
he could no longer wield it.  If the world was to be saved, a true
hero must be found.

===(14 May 2012)===

<pre>T"TT"TT"",U,.,\U==,.TTTT"TT"T</pre>

“I’ll have another,” said Atho.

“You drink like a dwarf,” said the old man.

“What of it?” grunted Atho.

In the dim light of the tavern, Atho could barely see the stranger.
He had been wasting his life away in dives like this for the last year
or more.  It seemed that years of peace meant slim business
opportunities for a mercenary such as he.  As he threw back his last
gulp he slammed the goblet back onto the table.  The color of the wine
reminded him of blood.

“You look ill,” said the stranger.  “You should take better care of yourself.”

“Who are you?” shouted Atho.

“Forgive me,” said the old man.  “I am Udma, a master of secrets.  It
is no secret you are in need of work.  Your skill is known to many.  I
would have you for myself before my neighbors seek you out.”

Atho had met his share of strange employers, but this was the weirdest
by far.  He was to meet Udma in the forest at midnight.  There, at the
shrine of Domon, he would receive his instructions.  The woodland
creatures grew quiet as he approached.  Just ahead was the blackened
shrine.  Udma was there, holding a weapon in his outstretched hands.

“It is the vampire Gonra I would have you kill,” said Udma.

“Vampires are the stuff of legend,” said Atho.

“Then your task should be easy,” laughed Udma, “but I suggest you take
this weapon.  It is Sangrak the vampire slayer.  Take it, and go to
the old dwarf fortress of Firesign.  It is there the fiend can be
found.”

==Kaelis Ebonrai==
===(22 June 2010)===
<pre>###UH/###,.,..UH,g.gg,g.ggggg</pre>


The fierce warrior brushed the feathers out of his face as the battle
hawk circled for another dive.  He slapped the neck of his winged
steed and leaned low, one hand on the reins, the other on his deadly
javelins.  Since the time of the first legends, Geldrix and his men
had been bird riders.  The ground rushed by as the hawk dove.  The
goblins never knew what hit them.  Spears fell from the sky like rain.
Talons tore and beaks pecked.  Seeing the enemy commander, Geldrix
took the dagger from his teeth and launched from his saddle.

The enemy general rode proud in the saddle.  His dark metal armor was
festooned with black roses.  Geldrix tackled him off his horse with
the force of a meteor.  Sitting astride the evil knight, Geldrix
marked the spot for the death stroke.  As his knife plunged toward the
knight's neck, a gauntlet seized him by the wrist.  Geldrix smiled.
There is still some fight in this one, he thought.  He flipped back
the enemy's visor and was shocked by what he saw.

Beneath him lay by far the most beautiful woman in the world.  Pain
shocked Geldrix's system as he suffered a blow to the lower body.  He
rolled to the side, his eyes shut tight in pain.  He could hear the
woman knight curse him as she kicked him about the neck and head.
Others came, and he was bound.  He opened his eyes and found himself
lashed to the back of a horse.  There was nowhere they could take him
that the hawkmen could not find him, but would he be whole when he was
found?

===(6 September 2010)===
<pre>+u~+U++U+UUUUUU</pre>


Geldrix returned to Hawkvir half a man.  Something was missing.  He
moved like a shadow, avoiding the company of his fellow warriors.  A
fair lass came to him, offering a cup of wine.  He knocked it away,
spilling dark liquid onto the carpet of the royal hall.  All went
silent as the king rose from his throne.  Geldrix hid his face with
his cloak, staring at the king with a single maddened eye as he
approached.  The guards opened a door and the king ushered Geldrix
outside, into a narrow passage.  Once they were alone, he spoke.

"What happened to you out there?" asked the king.  "What was it like
to be a prisoner of the goblins?"

"I was defeated," said Geldrix, sobbing.  "I can never be a hawk rider
again.  I did not escape, as I told the others.  I was traded to the
dwarves for a crate of dimple-dyed cloth."

The king looked down on the broken man that was once captain of the
riders and shook his head slowly.

"Surely there is something you can live for," shouted the king.
"Revenge, perhaps?"

Geldrix found it difficult to take the saddle, having spent so long on
the earth.  Now in the air, he watched the trails for Zona, warrior
princess of the goblins.  It was all her fault, he kept telling
himself.  He would strike her down and his manhood would be restored.
His hand trembled at the reins.  Memories of his time underground came
flooding back.  Then his eye caught something on the road below, two
riders heading for the dark mountain.

===(26 September 2010)===
<pre>.,.".,"~~,.".,.@,.g||,.</pre>

Flying low over the road, Geldrix pulled the hood over his head.  With
a double flip, he launched through the air and landed before the
riders.  The two goblins sat upon their beak dogs glancing at each
other.  Geldrix drew his sword and turned his head to the side,
staring out of the hood with one hateful eye.  The goblins dismounted
and took up their heavy iron spiked clubs.  One of the goblins stepped
forward.

"Show your face," it said, "so we can tell tales of which mighty hero we slew."

Geldrix's face burned with anger and shame.

"Coward?" said the mocking goblin.  "Is that it?"

At last, he could take it no more.  He threw back his hood, his blond
curls blowing in the wind.

"Geldrix?" laughed the goblin.  "You have a lot of nerve showing your
face around here."

"Boo!" shouted the goblin.  Overwhelmed by fear, Geldrix dropped his
sword and ran.  His hawk landed before him but died instantly as a
crossbow bolt struck its eye.  Geldrix collapsed onto the carcass,
openly weeping.  The goblins approached, chuckling and calling out
cruel jokes.  Geldrix screamed out to the heavens.  He stood, ripping
out two handfuls of feathers.  When the goblins reached him, he threw
the feathers in their faces and ran, to where the gods only knew.

Breaths came hot and stinging, his boots ankle deep in the forest
swamp.  Geldrix felt his extreme shame.  He was not a warrior, not
even a man.  He was the ultimate traitor to all the hawk men, his
cowardice now a thing of legend.  He planted his butt in a muddy
puddle and looked up to see a gremlin sitting on a high tree branch.

"Don't worry, son," said the creature.  "We all have a little rabbit in us."



==[[User:Kaltor|Kaltor]]==
===(30 April 2010)===
<pre> ,E..U~~~ </pre>

Ash rained from the sky for ten years.  Few were alive that could
retell the story of that dreadful day, the day the dragon came.
Through the dusty haze of the burned forest, one could often see elves
moving about, hopelessly searching the ground for seeds of the sacred
trees.  Death ruled that mirthless place, and all who dwelt there did
so in mourning and at the mercy of the dragon.

It was then, ten years since the massacre, that the hero Brandish
arrived.  He followed the clear stream from the mountain into the
ravaged valley.  It was then that he stopped to fill his jug.  He
found the stream water had a strange taste.  It was not water -- it
was tears.

"What are doing in this wasted valley?" came a voice.

Brandish turn to see an elf girl, starving and covered in rags.

"I come to slay the dragon," said the hero.

===(2 March 2012)===
<pre>~~~~~~~U~~~~~~  ?D?</pre>

The elf threw her head back and laughed as a man would at a fool.
Brandish, angered, threw down his jug.  Deep in his heart he was
terrified of the little girl, for she was a tool of the dragon.  He
cursed himself for a coward and stepped forward.  The elf looked at
him with tired eyes filled hate.

"Sometimes I hope you would kill me," said the dragon through the
girl's lips.  "It has been a long ten years with nothing to chew on
but dry bones."

"If it's death you want," said Brandish, "you shall have it."

Taken by a sudden fit of tremors, the girl moved this way and that,
then collapsed into a pile of dust.  After a minute, Brandish let his
hand fall from the hilt of his weapon.  He wondered if this whole
valley was peopled only by ghosts and monsters.

Deeper into the wastes he traveled.  Here were the black outlines of
buildings and the ashen shadows where people and animals fell.  Doubt
took his heart once more.  He had braved death a thousand times, but
this was different.  It was said that the dragon could look into your
very soul.  Brandish did not want to know what weakness the monster
would find.

==Kittah_Khan==

===(12th January, 2010)===
<pre>,.,~E/~..,.@,..@g@@@</pre>

Doom approached with the morning light.  At any moment, Thun expected
the elves to come along the high branch to his wooden cage.  He had
been taken while drinking with his dwarves at a fortified position
along the southern front.  The elves pounced on them like hungry lions
and disarmed them before they could fight back.  Staring through the
bars of his cage at the ground so far below, Thun remembered how his
friends had been taken from the cage and dragged away, lost to hope.
The elves appeared before the cage bars.  The door swung open and Thun
struck, spraying the air with a fine red mist.

Ninzul, he called it, the Wooden Axe of Freedom.  Possessed by a
strange mood,  Thun worked all night in the cage, carving the
master-work weapon from the wood of the bars with his fingernails.
With scant effort, Thun hacked his way through the elven guards.  The
crazed dwarf swung from tree to tree, knocking arrows out of the air
with Ninzul.  The elves close behind him.  Something gave way, and
Thun looked up to see an elf cutting away his vine.  Thun let out a
hoot as he plunged toward the forest floor.

"We must have him," said the elf prince, "to lose him, after what he
has done, would disgrace us to the Forest Spirit."

"Yes, Prince Altera," said the elf woman.

The elf ruler called for his Jay.  Two elves dragged the giant blue
bird from his pen.  Altera mounted the great bird.  His woman, elf
mistress Renere, leapt onto the saddle behind him.  She held in her
hands Creneri, the bow of courage.  Prince Altera knew there was no
hope for the dwarf but, not being the kind to leave things to chance,
he called for the chipmunk men.

Soon the tree was crawling with small, hairy creatures, vaguely humanoid.

"You will tell every animal person in the kingdom to hunt for this
dwarf," ordered the prince.  "Every needle of the forest will turn
against him."

The heart in his chest felt as though it would beat right out of him.
His lungs burned like forge fire.  He looked to his side to see a man
in green hopping along next to him.  It turned to him revealing a
horribly distorted insectoid face.  A grasshopper man.  Thun skidded
to a halt and wielded the axe over his head.

"I yield, great warrior," said insect in his clicking way.  "I come,
show you not all creatures follow the elf prince."

"What have you to gain from aiding my escape?" asked Thun, lowering his weapon.

"The dwarves in the south," said the grasshopper man.  "If you lead
them back this way, they will put an end to the elves?"

The dwarf looked down at his new green friend.  "That," he said, "I
promise you."

--

Explosions rocked the southern fortifications as the giant hawks
dropped great boulders and bags of poison gas.  Thun looked through a
slit in the fortress wall.  The elf forest was only a ballista shot
away.  Already the sky was traced with fiery shots from the siege
engines, slamming into the trees beyond.  The dwarf warlord approached
the hero.

"It will take three more weeks before our fortifications are close
enough to strike the heart of the forest," said the warlord.  "I'm
told you could put an end to this contest."

"I can lead your vanguard to the heart of the forest," said Thun.

The dwarven leader looked at the legendary axe and back at Thun.  He nodded.

The air was quiet as Thun and his dwarves approached through the tall
grass.  The barrage had been called off to lure the elves into a false
sense of security.  The smell was sweet with burning wood.  The ground
was covered with smoldering craters where the elves had quenched the
dwarven fireballs.  Further inside, the grasshopper man was waiting.

Through a dry creek the dwarves marched.  They held their crossbows at
the ready.  The grasshopper man signaled for them to stop.  He pointed
with one of his arms.  Thun saw them at once, five elves and a jaguar
man, waiting to ambush them.  The dwarf did not fail to notice one of
the elf women was carrying a masterpiece bow of dwarven design.

The dwarves made their way up out of the stream bed and encircled the
elves.  The jaguar man smelled them and tried to cry out but was
silenced by a dwarven bolt.  Shots fired in all directions.  The elves
split and fought to break away.  Thun marked the elf leader's bow and
ran after her.  She turned and loosed an arrow at his face.  He ducked
just in time and looked behind to see a young sapling torn in two by
the shot.

"You cannot defeat Renere," said the elf.

Thun drew back the wooden axe and flung it at the elf's head, but it
smashed into the tree behind her after striking off her ear.

"My ear!" cried Renere.  "You will pay for this insult."

The elf threw down the bow and yanked Ninzul out of the tree trunk.
The other dwarves filed into the clearing.  Thun held up his hand.
The elf was his.  Silently, the fighters circled.  The dwarves never
wanted this war, just logs for the furnaces.  Now, looking at this
bleeding fanatic, Thun knew that the feud could only end by final
victory.

==[[User:Kosmos|Kosmos]]==
===(11 September 2007)===
<pre>T+TT@C +</pre>

"Twist my arm, why don't you?  You louse," Doran had complained as Bomtek continued to bother him.

"Come on, Doran!  It's just a bottle of whiskey.  The Baron won't miss it.  When you deliver his table, just take a little something for yourself.  And share it with me." 

Now Doran was standing in the Baron's dining room.  It already had a fine granite table at its center; the noble had just wanted an obsidian corner piece as an accent.  As the dwarf set the table down, Bomtek's repeated needling suggestions still echoed in his mind.  It was just one bottle.  There are so many in the cabinet.  The Baron won't miss just one of them. 

The dwarf had to pass the cabinet on the way out.  With every step toward it, he felt the whiskey within calling in his heart.  Doran's face flushed hot and his stomach felt as if it were being squeezed and twisted.  Maybe I'll just look, he thought.  Just look and go.  He reached out his hand and gently opened the cabinet's door.  There was only one bottle inside.  Bomtek, you fool, he thought.  Yet the whiskey still beckoned him forward, and he continued to gaze on the bottle in silence as it drew him ever closer.

==[[User:Kuroneko|Kuroneko]]==
===(29 October 2009)===
<pre>.,.UUOW.,</pre>

Thunder shook the crumbling shack as the old crone stirred the
steaming black cauldron.  Across from her sat mighty warrior Johns,
resplendent in his shining armor.  Behind and to the side squatted his
squire, Toolsman.  The metal pot began to glow.  Images began to form
above the bubbling stew.  Fighters and monsters danced in the wispy
smoke.  Toolsman gasped and took Johns's arm.  The knight lord drove
his elbow into the squire's cheek.  The warrior leaned close and
questioned the shriveled hag.

 "Tell me of black knight Scroder," commanded Johns, "as you promised to do."

The witch woman raised her face to stare into Johns's eyes.

 "He waits for you," she said, "in the Valley of Ultimate Despair.
You shall not live to see him though, for you are already betrayed."

Toolsman looked fearfully to his master, but the crusader's eyes were
ever on the crone.  "It is you who betray!" shouted Johns as he seized
the old woman and forced her into the pot.  Black smoke billowed forth
and the air was filled with wicked laughter.  In the end only Johns
and Toolsman remained.  There was no sign of the spiritual guide.

==[[User:kurtss|kurtss]]==
===8 May 2012===

<pre>U|,,.UH-,.,-Bg,,.|</pre>

The riders aimed their lances.  It was to be a contest of skill and
righteousness.  The goblin's beak dog chirped and kicked, pawing up
the dirt of the jousting track.  Sir Benefact lifted his lance in
salute of Princess Marmalade.  Just then the goblin charged.  Benefact
had just enough time to wheel around and face his opponent.

Wood snapped as the lance found its mark.  Blood shot like a fountain
from Benefact's chest.  He collapsed in the saddle, and fell from his
horse.  The goblin rode before the princess and gave his salute.

"What is your name, Sir knight?" asked Marmalade.

"Masterdad," said the goblin.

"Then, Sir Masterdad," said the princess, "you are the new champion."

==[[User:landrus|landrus]]==
===25 May 2012===

<pre>gggg,.-,.@.==@,.@,-.ggggg</pre>

"Death comes with the sun," was the call.

Goblins lined every hill and tree line.  Evil impulses made their
muscles pop and twitch.  It had been weeks since they had any fresh
flesh, longer still since they had any loot to fight over.  The bigger
ones imagined the things they would take.  The smaller ones imagined
stabbing the bigger ones in the back and taking it for themselves.

The dwarf caravan had come to a halt in Wicked Forest as one of the
wagons had broken down.  They hadn't the parts so Kobem ordered the
wood cutters to fashion some from the local trees.  As the day dragged
on the dwarves began to see a night in Wicked Forest as a real
possibility.  They worked into the night, all the while coyotes and
other spooky animals called and brayed.

"I have never been so grateful to see the sun," said Sigun.

No kidding, thought Kobem.  He had been working underground,
organizing this caravan for seven weeks.  When he finally saw daylight
he was sick for two days.  Now in the predawn light, Kobem was indeed
grateful.  Who knows how many night creatures haunted this ill-named
forest.  The first rays of the sun fell across the wagons.  Sigun
turned, smiling at his master.

Blood splattered across Kobem's chest.  Kobem froze as Sigun's body
sank to the ground in slow motion.  Firebrands and sling bullets
landed among the dwarves.  Kobem collected his wits and dove under the
nearest wagon.  It couldn't be kobolds.  They were never this brazen.
Goblins then.  Their leader had guile to attack when they least
expected it.

Now all Kobem needed was a crossbow.  He looked out from beneath the
wagon at the body of a fallen marks-dwarf still clutching his weapon
in his dead hands.  Kobem launched from his hiding place, racing past
struggling goblins and dwarves.  Almost there, Kobem was blocked by a
stocky goblin in full plated armor.  Angry eyes burned behind the
visor.

The evil knight struck first, bringing his iron mace down onto Kobem's
skull.  It was a glancing blow, but messy.  Kobem fell to one knee.
The knight sucked in a breath and raised his weapon once more.  That
was when Kobem drove his fist into the fighter's lower body, smashing
vital organs.  Kobem grabbed him by the chest plate and slammed him to
the ground.  He picked up the mace and flipped the knight's visor
open.

"Urist?" asked Kobem.

==[[User:Laod|Laod]]==
===(15 October 2006)===

<pre>T..o..T</pre>

Trolls are playing dodgeball with a boulder!  Who will win?!

==Lord Herman==
===(Early 2009)===
<pre>=&]RR,...\@@@,.,.++++||\^^^^^</pre>

The chariot roared through the battle plain, towed by two giant black,
slathering rats and carrying the dread lord Sarumak, kingdom smasher
and orphaner of children.  The dwarves held out the pikes but Sarumak
swept them aside with his cursed broadsword, Emilplec.  So he reached
the gates of the dwarf fortress.  The dark lord stepped down from his
chariot and surveyed the masterwork of architecture.  The gates were
tall and wide, braced from behind, and no doubt rigged with dozens of
traps.

It wasn't long before the dwarves were swept from the field.  Now only
their citadel remained.  Sarumak ordered his siege engines brought
forward.  As they reached the wall the dwarves dropped down fiery
liquid and forced them back.  The evil king was growing frustrated.
He ordered his sappers to dig under the wall.  It was turning into a
long campaign, and his army of evil beasts wouldn't hold together long
without a victory.

===(5 December 2009)===
<pre>,..,..@.@@@@@@@@@@@,.||+++++</pre>

"Eat lead goblin scum!" shouted dwarf warrior Joan as he overturned a
bucket of heavy metal blocks.

It would seem that terror would strike the hearts of dwarves like
Joan, now trapped in their fortress tomb.  This was far from the
truth.  Joan grew bolder the harder he was pressed.  The deeper the
goblins forced their way in, the more horrible their deaths would be.
Joan's father had devised most of the traps in the south market
burrow.  A dwarf shouted in his ear and beckoned him to come off the
wall.

"The goblins have dug under the wall," said the guard captain.

"That's impossible," said Joan, "The rock beneath the wall descends
into the root of the mountain.  It would take hundred years to breach
that way."

"None the less," said the captain, "It is said that Sarumak has power
over giant moles and possesses the secret of dragon fire.  We have
analyzed the threat, and there is a danger.  We need an elite unit of
dwarven commandos to sally forth, determine the nature of the enemy's
plans, and put an end to them."

"You can count on me, Captain," said Joan.

"Good show," said the officer in command.  "Assemble the squad before
the gate at the day's last light."

Torches and campfires sprang to life in the invader's camp as the sun
sank behind the mountains.  The captain passed in front of a line of a
dozen dwarves dressed in black, strapped with all manner of weapons.
They were a mixed bunch.  A few were adventurers looking for glory.
Some were drunken toughs looking for a brawl.  The rest were released
fresh from prison, where they were promised freedom if they fought for
the king.  Joan stood at the end of the line, his right arm across his
chest.

"My axe is yours," said Joan.

The captain looked at Joan, appraising the dwarf hero.  "Keep it," he
said.  "You will surely need it before the night is through."

The captain signaled the catapults to begin their barrage.  The
raining balls of fire were just enough to distract the goblins as the
gate opened just enough to let a dozen dwarven soldiers out into the
night.

===(15 January 2010)===
<pre>[,.&]TT,..@,.</pre>

Silently the dwarves wound their way between the campfires around
which danced the goblins in their orgies of bloodlust.  Ahead was the
grand tent of Sarumak, six-armed demon from the pit of Thamusula.  Two
trolls guarded the entrance.  Joan looked to his dwarf Hogan, a
professional soldier, just let out of prison for failing to meet a
noble's mandate.  Summoning him closer, Joan whispered his plan into
the warrior's ear.  Hogan stared into his leader's eyes and blinked
once.  They both understood the seriousness of the situation.

Hogan had been born the tallest of eight dwarven children.  Freakish
in size, he was shunned by the others and spent all his spare hours in
the barracks, smashing sparring dummies.  Now he stepped in front of
the enemy's headquarters.  Two giant furry trolls stared down at him.
Hogan threw down his helmet and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Where is that coward Sarumak?" he said.  "Dare he come forth and face
a true opponent!"

A huge black head appeared through the opening in the tent.  Its
nostrils snorted fire.  Hogan's jaw went slack and he ran for his
life.  The huge six-armed demon ran after him and the trolls ran close
behinds.

===(23 April 2010)===
<pre>++@@@+@/++@||</pre>

The dwarven commandos watched as the demon ran after the intruder, the
two troll guards following soon after.  Joan ordered the dwarves into
the tent.  Inside, the ceiling was hung with all manner of bones and
rotting meat.  Joan stared at a pyramid of severed heads and wondered
if he had known any of them.  A commando took him by the arm and
pointed to the table at the center of the tent.  On it were Sarumak's
battle plans!

"Master Joan," said a scruffy looking commando, "what do we do with
this?"  In the dirty ex-prisoner's hands lay Emilplec, the infamous
broadsword of the demon prince.

Smiling Joan snatched up the blade.  He was sure to be named Champion
now.  With a great sweep of his arm, Joan gathered up the battle plans
and led the dwarves on a mad dash out of the tent.  All around,
goblins cried out in alarm.  Halfway on the slope, a runner joined
them.  It was Hogan.

"How did you fare?  Where is Sarumak?" asked Joan.

Hogan breathed hard and said, "Not far behind Sir!  The mission, did
we succeed?"

Joan held up the sword and smiled.  Hogan looked at him, questioning.

--

Stones fell from the ceiling of the great hall as the enemy
bombardment pounded on.  It had been a relentless barrage ever since
the commandos returned.  The dwarf king stared out into the empty
room, deserted save for the commandos and their captain.  The old king
lifted his heavily lidded eyes and spoke.

"You have news, Captain Willard?"  said the king.

"We have raided the enemy camp," said the captain.

The king raised an eyebrow.  "What have you brought me?" he asked.

Joan stepped forward and threw down the blade.

"We have captured Emilplec, hated sword of the enemy!" he shouted.

"Fool!" yelled the king.  "Now he will never loosen his grip on our fortress!"

===(16 September 2010)===
<pre>##||+@/&+||##</pre>

Joan hung his head, deeply shamed.  He wanted nothing more than to
sink into the cracks of the mountain, never to be remembered.  He had
dealt the enemy a blow so humiliating now there was no chance of
peace.  A dwarf at his side rose to his feet and stepped before the
king.  The rest of the commandos watched in wonder.  It was tall
Hogan.

"It matters not what we do," shouted the dwarf.  "Sarumak will come
for us all the same."

"Who is this dwarf?" asked the king.

"Hogan Longstride," said Captain Willard from his place at the king's
side, "a common criminal.  I shall cut him down, should you wish it."

"No," said the king.  "We will hear what this young dwarf has to say."

Hogan took a breath and fell to his knee, holding the dread sword
Emilplec out before him.

"To stay behind these walls is to die," said Hogan.  "Sarumak would
have us driven into the Underworld, living like goblins in the grimy
dark.  We must attack!  Drive this sword into the demon's black
heart."

"Joan?" asked the king.  "Do you plan to lead this attack?"

It was certain death and Joan knew it.  He had seen the enemy horde up
close and there was no way to win, but with the help of this fearless
dwarf, he now had a way to restore his honor.  Grinding his teeth, he
took the sword from Hogan and stood before the throne.

"I will strike the demon dead."

Great rocks and balls of flaming matter passed each other in the sky,
arching down and smashing tall towers and the siege works below.  No
one even noticed when the commandos emerged from the front gate.  Joan
looked up to see Sarumak atop one of his siege towers, directing the
barrage.  The dwarves fought their way to the tower, cutting through a
host of unsuspecting goblins and trolls.  One by one, the dwarves were
struck down.  When they reached the tower, only Joan and Hogan
remained.  The tall dwarf held off a dozen enemies while Joan climbed
the wooden structure.

"Burn them!" screamed Sarumak.  "Burn them all!"

The demon turned to see a dwarf behind him, holding a long curved sword.

"That is mine!" cried the demon.  "Give it to me!"

With a flick of the wrist, Joan brought the sword down onto the wrist
of an outstretched hand, lobbing it off in a bloody arch.  But the
demon had five more and was said to be devious.  This proved not to be
the case.  In his bloody rage, Sarumak threw himself onto the
outstretched sword.  Joan tore the blade from Sarumak's stomach and
severed the demon's head.

The tower began to shift and rock.  Below, the magic creatures
disappeared in clouds of dust and bursts of flame.  As Joan tried to
lower himself down the side of the tower, the headless body of Sarumak
grabbed him by the wrist.  Joan lifted the demon sword, but it became
glowing hot.  As he dropped it, the sword disintegrated in a spark of
flame.  The claw released him, and Joan found himself plunging through
the air.

Hogan caught the hero as he fell.  Together they made their way
through the army of fleeing goblins, back to the fortress gate.  There
they were met by much fanfare.  The war was over.  Joan was indeed
crowned champion, and Hogan became Captain of the Guard, replacing
Willard, now recently retired.

===(24 December 2010)===
<pre>,.bb@bdbb@bb@ddbbb.,k,.</pre>

Ganagus ran as fast as he could, turning this way and that to throw
off the posse of dwarves tailing him.  He was close to the kobold
nest, and if he didn't stop them now, he would bring the dwarves right
to it.  Looking down the trail, he could see the dwarves coming, their
blood hounds leading the way.  Ganagus looked up into the canopy to
see if the old trap was set and hid behind a tree.

"She's got him now!" said a dwarf.  "Looks like a whole mess of them.
They'll be sorry they ever stole from fortress Heartwears!"

The kobold chopped through the rope with his short sword.  A hive of
bees fell from the sky, crashing amongst the dwarves.  Ganagus leapt
out from behind the tree and began to chatter and cackle with glee.
One of the meaner dwarves saw him and charged out of the chaos,
brandishing an axe.

"Bacabadabis," said Ganagus as he turned and fled, a wide grin across his fangs.

===(5 February 2012)===
<pre>~~~~~k~~kk~~~~~~..,.,@%@,.,</pre>

That night, when the beaten dwarves returned to the fortress, the king
pronounced his doom.  The forest would be burned and every living
thing in it would die.  Someone brought up the elves, but the dwarves
laughed him down.  The magma pumps were made ready just in time for
dawn.

When the sun rose that day, it was not the only thing bringing warmth
to the world.  Rivers of molten rock poured down either side of
Heartwears Fortress.  Birds and animals ran, squawked and flew as the
fire spread through the forest.

Ganagus howled as the flames came closer to his home.  Some of the
kobolds ran, others sought shelter in the nest.  The nest, and all its
lovely dwarven toys.  There was no time.  Ganagus gathered what
kobolds would follow and ran to the lake they called Bagadagus.

Floating in the center of the lake with two of his friends, Ganagus
was surrounded by a ring of fire.  It was possible other kobolds made
it out, but not likely.  He thought of all that was lost and grew
angry.  The dwarves think they can hoard all those lovely things from
us.  They will be made to give all.

"What happened here?" asked the dwarven sheriff.

The two dwarves stood in an ashen field, burnt tree trunks standing
all around.  At their feet was a body, hardly recognizable as a dwarf.
It had been bitten and stung a thousand times.

===(22 April 2013)===
<pre>@@@@,.,.@,=,.,.?k?</pre>

The kobold looked over the smoking pit that once was home.  Everyone
Ganagus had loved or cared for was dead.  Those that didn’t perish in
the nest were picked off by dwarven sharpshooters in the days
following the great fire.  All that was left was Ganagus and his
incomprehensible oath of vengeance.

“Isn’t that my old end table?” asked Brutus.

The fat dwarf slipped off his pony and made his way through the burnt
tree trunks to the metal table, half covered in ash.  Sheriff
Constaban called out, but it was too late.  With a shriek, the dwarf
disappeared.

Quickly loading their weapons, Sheriff Constaban and the other
marks-dwarves cautiously made their way toward the shining piece of
furniture.  They could still hear Brutus from the pit some ways ahead.
He screamed, sucked in a few breaths and screamed again.  When the
first dwarf reached the lip of the pit, an arrow flew out of nowhere
and struck a marks-dwarf in the neck.

“Sniper!” shouted Constaban.

===(2 January 2014)===
<pre>..,,.ko,,.,.@.,|@@++++</pre>

It was the end of the year and the Plump Helmet Festival was in full
swing.  Even in a war-ravaged fortress like Heartwears, the young
gathered, dressed in their finest.  For some, it would be a new dawn
as they came into adulthood and were married off in a way to appease
the families of each young adult.  For others it was just another long
night drinking or playing tacticus in a side chamber somewhere below.

Sheriff Constaban climbed the many steps of the watch tower and looked
out over the wasted landscape.  There was still some green poking up
from the frozen lava field.  It looked quiet, but Constaban knew
better.  A dwarf couldn't take more than five steps without catching a
chest full of arrows from kobolds or cannibal elves.

“It's down there,” said the guards-dwarf.  “At the gate.”

“Then why haven't you killed it?” asked Constaban.

“I don't think its armed,” said the guard, pointing with his crossbow.

The gate swung open and Constaban emerged, flanked by castle guards
and covered from above by a squad of elite marks-dwarves.  The kobold
looked incredibly small and pathetic in the face of certain death.  It
was holding something in its hands which it placed at Constaban's feet
as the dwarf approached.  The sheriff bent and retrieved the package.

“Where did you get this?” asked the sheriff.

The kobold responded with the typical indecipherable chatter, but the
meaning was clear.  Constaban held in his hands the crown of
Spearspark, the lost fortress of old.  The war was over.  The dwarves
cheered for joy.  But there was something more.  If the kobolds had
found the ancient fortress, they knew the location of the adamantine
mother-lode.

===(19 July 2014)===

<pre>@@@@@@=@H~~~~k</pre>

The only dwarf that trusted the kobold was Constaban, so it was no
surprise when he was made expedition leader.  The dwarves meant to
reclaim the ancient fortress Spearspark, the last known mine to bear
adamantine.  Constaban picked six of the heartiest dwarves to go with
him.

First among them was the miner woman, Ashke.  If anyone could find
adamantine, it was her.  Next were the battling brothers, Kogan and
Aliz, who had never lost a fight.  Sasno was a master of tacticus and
probably the smartest dwarf Constaban knew.  The last two adventures
were more domestic.  Kiloc was a master carpenter and chef, while Olek
was a master brewer.  Behind the wagon was a train of hill dwarf
bearers.

The reclaim caravan was so large that they were not bothered by
bandits or vengeful elves.  Ganagus was made to run ahead of the wagon
on a leash.  Constaban knew the kobold was leading them into a trap,
but the promise of adamantine was too good to pass up.  The expedition
leader trusted in his strength of arms.  Along with the six fortress
heroes, he had a small legion of battle hardened hill dwarves.

"That has to be it," said Ashke.

"Yes," said Constaban.  "I think you are right."

The reached the mountain on the dawn of the third day.  The rays of
the morning sun were shining on the mountainside.  At the base of the
cliff was a jumble rocks.  Ganagus pointed to the boulders and chirped
excitedly.  Constaban ordered the hill dwarves to roll the stones to
the side.

A smelly blast of air rushed out of the cavern as if the mountain had
been holding its breath.  Constaban called for volunteers and then
picked two of the hill dwarves to enter the cave.  Who knew what kind
of night creature could have made the abandoned mine their home?

The kobold, Ganagus, watched as the dwarven soldiers entered the cave.
Ten years previously, Ganagus himself had broken into the ruin and
stolen the golden crown.  The horrors he saw there were worse than any
kobold had language to describe.  With any luck, all the dwarves would
die horribly.