v50 Steam/Premium information for editors
  • v50 information can now be added to pages in the main namespace. v0.47 information can still be found in the DF2014 namespace. See here for more details on the new versioning policy.
  • Use this page to report any issues related to the migration.
This notice may be cached—the current version can be found here.

Editing ASCII art reward/G-L

Jump to navigation Jump to search

Warning: You are not logged in.
Your IP address will be recorded in this page's edit history.

About

If you are creating a redirect to the current version's page, do not use any namespace. For example: use #REDIRECT [[Cat]], not #REDIRECT [[Main:Cat]] or #REDIRECT [[cv:Cat]]. See DF:Versions for more information.

The edit can be undone. Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then save the changes below to finish undoing the edit.

Latest revision Your text
Line 9: Line 9:
  
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
{{unversioned}}
 
  
 
==[[User:Geoffrey|Geoffrey]]==
 
==[[User:Geoffrey|Geoffrey]]==
Line 85: Line 84:
  
 
Soon Suffar would be the last wizard left in the world.  Once he had the power, the dwarves would bend to his will and create for him the ultimate artifact.  He wanted to create life, not another monster, but a companion worthy enough to be his partner.  Only then would he be at peace.
 
Soon Suffar would be the last wizard left in the world.  Once he had the power, the dwarves would bend to his will and create for him the ultimate artifact.  He wanted to create life, not another monster, but a companion worthy enough to be his partner.  Only then would he be at peace.
 
===(27th March 2018)===
 
<pre>kN|kN|####  +++N++M+</pre>
 
 
“Yes,” said Destra, “I promise you revenge.”
 
 
“I will eat him,” said the minotaur.  “Then I will eat you.”
 
 
“It's a deal!” said Destra.
 
 
The monster guided the witch out of the cave.  With all its strength, the minotaur pushed the boulders aside and he and the witch stepped out into the night air.  The witch cast a spell and traced the wizard's path through the ether.  They followed the magical trail north.
 
 
Over stream and under the trees the pair closed in on the wizard's tower.  Meanwhile Suffar order his kobold to hunt for dwarven treasure once more.  He was on the brink of a breakthrough.  All he needed was one more artifact, one more vision into the true nature of magic.
 
 
It had been several days, and the kobold had yet to return.  Suffar was becoming concerned.  Then there was a knock at the door.  The wizard made his way down the long spiral staircase.  “I'm coming.  I'm coming!  Settle down!” grumbled the wizard as he reached to door at last.  Opening it, he saw a tall, cloaked figure.
 
 
“I have come for you,” said the stranger.
 
 
===(3rd January 2020)===
 
<pre>kN|++N+M+U+N+k</pre>
 
 
“Oh Lady of Darkness,” whimpered Suffar.  “I meant to summon you earlier, but it was my kobold's birthday and I...”
 
 
“Enough excuses!” said the demon mistress.  “I knew you were collecting magic powers to bind me, but you are too late.  I have arrived.”
 
 
“But how?” asked Suffar.
 
 
The kobold appeared from behind the demon's robes.  That rascal had intoned the rites of summoning without him.  Now all was lost. 
 
 
The wizard groveled before Mistress of All Evil.  Maybe there was still a way out of this nightmare, something in the contract he had signed to make the legal mumbo-jumbo null and void. 
 
 
He had to think.  Then to answer came to him.
 
 
It was the nature of demons to play the long game.  Their machinations took decades to resolve.  Suffar didn't have that kind of time. 
 
 
He knew that sooner than latter the demon would find him of no use and send him spiraling down into the Netherworld.  His only chance was to find Destra, if she still lived. 
 
 
So when the demon locked the door to the library behind her, Suffar slipped out of castle.
 
 
The ruined dwarf fortress was only around the next bend in the road.  Suffar began going over the language that he would use to convince Destra that feeding her to the minotaur was just a big mistake. 
 
 
When he arrived at the entrance to the labyrinth he found the the stone had been rolled away.  Now he was in serious trouble.  Someone behind him cleared their throat.
 
 
“You have a lot of nerve coming back here.”
 
 
It was Destra alright, and with her was the hulking minotaur looking hungry as ever.  His jaw jabbering, Suffar tried to quickly describe the trouble he was in. Nay, the trouble they were all in.
 
 
“Your kobold summoned the Princess of Darkness?” asked Destra.
 
 
The pair of magic users and the reluctant minotaur returned to the castle.  The cow man was none to happy to arrive back at the place where he had been created. 
 
 
The minotaur wiped the tears from his eyes and promised himself he was have his revenge.
 
 
“Bacabadabis,” said the demon, as she stirred the thick goo inside the magic cauldron, “I think this is the start of a magical friendship.”
 
 
Yapping with alarm, the kobold pointed over the demon's shoulder.  Before she could react, the monster lifted her up by the neck and tossed her into the black metal bowl. 
 
 
Suffar was relieved that he was now free, until he looked up to see the cow monster standing over him.
 
 
“Your bones will make a good stew,” said the minotaur as he mixed the substance that was Suffar and the demon with a giant ladle.
 
 
Watching with horror, the kobold bolted toward the door.  Destra pointed her finger and a bolt of lightning struck the tiny monster.  After the dust cleared there was nothing left behind but a long, pink-tailed rat.
 
 
“Are you going to eat that?” asked the minotaur.
 
 
THE END
 
  
 
==[[User:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]]==
 
==[[User:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]]==
Line 372: Line 305:
  
 
The demons had not noticed the wizard yet, choosing instead to fly after the fleeing dwarves.  Suffar could not help but think that this was all his fault.  The mess he had created was bigger than just a stolen pearl.  The entire world was in peril.  He had to seek out Domon, in the Palace of the Rising Sun.
 
The demons had not noticed the wizard yet, choosing instead to fly after the fleeing dwarves.  Suffar could not help but think that this was all his fault.  The mess he had created was bigger than just a stolen pearl.  The entire world was in peril.  He had to seek out Domon, in the Palace of the Rising Sun.
 
===(1 July 2016)===
 
<pre>N%,..W@,.</pre>
 
 
“Where is the sun?” asked Kogan as he awoke.
 
 
“There has been a lasting darkness since Hetain died,” said Suffar.
 
 
“Then we have won,” exclaimed Kogan.
 
 
A dizzy spell forced Kogan to lie back down.  “It's a bit more complicated than that,” said Suffar.  The stars twinkled as giant bat-like creatures passed through the sky.  Kogan turned to witness a horrible sight just a stone's throw away.  Three demons were feasting on the body of a dead dwarf.  They were more horrible than the night creatures of Hetain.
 
 
“They can't see us,” said Suffar.  “Rest, my friend.”
 
 
“There must be a way to stop them,” whispered Kogan.  “You said something about Domon, and the sky chariot.”
 
 
“I'm afraid the sun has set forever,” said Suffar.  “The four titans cannot help us now.”
 
 
“There must be something we can do?” asked the dwarf hero.
 
 
“Yes,” said Suffar.  “As long as we hold the pearl there is hope.”
 
 
===(31 July 2016)===
 
<pre>.,,.NN..,</pre>
 
 
“The magic doorway will close,” said Suffar, “if we cast Hetain's magic pearl back through the demon gate.”
 
 
“Then do it,” exclaimed Kogan, suffering from another fainting spell.
 
 
“Who ever should cast in the pearl shall die,” said Suffar.
 
 
“Then give it to me,” said Kogan.  “I care not for my own life.”
 
 
“That much in obvious,” said Suffar, “but you cannot be the one.  Look at your body.”
 
 
Straining to sit up, Kogan was horrified to see that his body was a mere skeleton, barely held together by bits of sinew.  Suffar used his magic to keep Kogan alive, but it was only a kind of half-life.  Once the pearl was cast, Kogan too would die.
 
 
“Then if you will not stand up and save the world,” asked Kogan, “who will?”
 
 
“We must find the fourth titan,” said Suffar.  “He lives in a tower deep in the Garum.”
 
 
“Not Darquan the Deadly,” shouted Kogan.  “That wicked old man would never make the sacrifice.”
 
 
“We have no other choice,” said Suffar.
 
 
===(20 September 2016)===
 
<pre>""N"N.".,|N+++|</pre>
 
 
Deep in the Garum it was unusually cold.  The sun hadn't risen for three days and the plants were beginning to die.  Kogan could see the light of a candle in the top room of the tower a way's off in the marsh.  Suffar explained to the skeletal dwarf that he should do the talking.  The master of the tower was Darquan the Deadly, one of four cosmic titans that had existed since the dawn of time. 
 
 
The wizard of the tower was twisted and evil.  He had exhausted every physical pleasure in a search for the ultimate experience.  The truth was, now he was bored and wished for the eternal nothingness that awaited his extinction.  But if there was one thing that kept Darquan breathing it was his jealous hatred for all living things.
 
 
“Who dares disturb my meditation?” came a voice from above.
 
 
Looking up the dark wet stones of the tower, Kogan could see a pale bald head trailing long white whiskers.  Suffar shouted back, explaining the death of Hetain and the demon gateway.  The wizard's head disappeared and there was a click at the solid wood door before them, which swung open by itself.
 
 
===(1 October 2016)===
 
<pre>|NCN+++?N?|</pre>
 
 
The snake was fast, but Suffar was faster.  As the door opened, a king cobra snake man shot his long neck out toward the wizard's face.  He dodged to the right and seized the serpent man's throat.  Darquan was a coward to leave his minions in charge of greeting the adventurers.
 
 
“Come forth, dark titan,” said Suffar, “or I will break your pet's neck.”
 
 
While Suffar shouted at the open door, the snake man reached with his long articulated arm and pulled a dagger from one of its many belts.  Just as it was about to push the blade in, the skeletal dwarf stepped out from behind the wizard and chopped at the snake man's wrist.
 
 
“That'sss cheating!” complained the cobra man.
 
 
“Save your whining for your master,” said Suffar.  “That is, if the coward is brave enough to show his face.”
 
 
“You have the pearl?” came a voice from above.  “Show it to me!”
 
 
===(7 November 2016)===
 
<pre>|No+N+++N<|</pre>
 
 
“Only you can save the world now,” shouted Suffar as he held the pearl over his head.
 
 
“Hetain's Pearl,” said Darquan.  “You are a naughty wizard.”
 
 
The candlelight vanished from the window as Darquan descended the hundreds of steps of the dark tower.  It seemed like ages later when he appeared in the doorway.  “Let Anthony go,” commanded the evil wizard.  Suffar released the cobra man who disappeared back into the tower.
 
 
“Who is your friend?” asked Darquan, indicating the skeletal dwarf.
 
 
“This is Kogan,” said Suffar, “Slayer of Hetain.”
 
 
“You can do better for a titan slayer than this, surely,” said Darquan.
 
 
The serpent wizard began chanting in the ancient tongue of magic.  The wind began to blow and stir up muddy water and dead vegetation.  The muck attached itself to Kogan's skeleton and soon he began to resemble a living dwarf.
 
 
“Now, Kogan,” said Darquan, “your body belongs to me.  Take the pearl from Suffar and give it to me!”
 
 
===(11 November 2016)===
 
<pre>CNoNN</pre>
 
 
Using his bracers to block a series of strikes and thrusts, Suffar desperately resisted as Kogan tried to wrestle the pearl from him.  Anthony returned wielding a pair of swords.  The dwarf grabbed the wizard around the legs and tackled him to the ground.  The snake man held his blades to Suffar's throat.  It was over.
 
 
“And now,” said Darquan, “the pearl, if you please?”
 
 
Reaching into his robe, Suffar withdrew the shining pearl.  Darquan's eyes lit up with joy.  Whoever possessed the pearl held sway over the hand of Fate.  Having exhausted the frivolous pleasures of this world, Darquan would use the pearl to enhance his hedonistic lifestyle.  With glee, he snatched the pearl out of Suffar's hand.
 
 
“You will know, before the end,” said Suffar, “what you have to do.”
 
 
===(5 January 2017)===
 
<pre>NB,B..,N+C</pre>
 
 
“Slay him,” commanded Darquan.
 
 
Anthony the snake man brought his sword blade down onto the wizard's neck, but recoiled when his weapon clashed against the stone floor of the tower.  Suffar's robes lay empty on the ground, but the wizard was nowhere to be found.  Darquan hollered with disapproval.  Kogan stood up and brushed the dirt off his chest.
 
 
“You, dwarf!” shouted Darquan.  “Stop standing around like a moron and find the wizard.”
 
 
A pair of giant bats landed at the base of the tower.  They were fitted with saddles and Kogan had the impression that his new master, Darquan, wanted him to ride.  He climbed up the hairy bat and sat astride its back.
 
 
“That rascal can't get far without the pearl,” said Darquan.  “Find him, and snuff out his life!”
 
 
===(9 February 2017)===
 
<pre>k####@B##CB##</pre>
 
 
The pair of giant bats launched out of the tower with Kogan and Anthony the snake man on their backs.  The dwarf's vision was excellent at night, due to a long life underground.  However, he could see nothing in the marsh but wildlife.  He called over to Anthony and the snake man replied.
 
 
“He has changed himself into a bird or beast,” shouted Anthony.
 
 
“How will I know him?” asked Kogan.
 
 
“He is the only beast that does not fear the power of Darquan,” said Anthony.
 
 
The snake man held up his staff and the end began to glow an ominous red.  All around, beneath them, the animals froze in place, the birds so much as freezing in mid flight and falling into the murky water.  There was one that still flew, a kingfisher!
 
 
“That's him!” cried Kogan.
 
 
===(12 March 2017)===
 
<pre>~~@%%~~</pre>
 
 
Cackling with glee, Darquan watched through his crystal ball as the two giant bat riders chased down the tiny bird.  They dove and pounced on the bird at once and there was a scuffle as the group splashed into the water.  Darquan was giddy with anticipation.  When the fight subsided, Kogan stood up holding the body of a dead bird, but Anthony was stricken dead.  The snake man had been in Darquan's employ for many years, but the evil old man could not find it in himself to shed a single tear.
 
 
“Bring me the carcass,” commanded Darquan.  “We will feast on kingfisher tonight!”
 
 
Throwing a cloth over the crystal ball, Darquan retired to his private chamber to contemplate the pearl.  Something was wrong.  The pearl had taken on a dim brown color.  Gone was its magical luster.  The wizard was furious.  He charged back into his laboratory and awaited Kogan's return.  There had to be some sort of explanation, and without question, someone would pay.
 
 
===(13 April 2017)===
 
<pre>++@+=%=N+++</pre>
 
 
The dwarf met Darquan in the feast hall below the wizard's tower.  The old man commanded that the dead bird be plucked and roasted on a spit.  As Kogan made himself busy preparing the meal, Darquan returned to fuss over the blackened pearl of Hetain.  A short time later, Kogan announced that the meal was ready.
 
 
“Here's to you, Suffar,” said Darquan, raising his stein glass.  After chewing on a few strange tasting morsels, the wizard realized he had been tricked.  He stood up from the table and threw his arms out to the side, calling on his power to reveal the treachery.  There, on the table, was the partially devoured body of Anthony the snake man.
 
 
“Suffar,” shouted Darquan, “you will pay for this if I must strike at you with my last breath!”
 
 
===(16 May 2017)===
 
<pre>@N...N(OOO)</pre>
 
 
The was a ringing sound coming from the laboratory.  Darquan stomped into the room and pulled the cloth from the crystal ball.  There was Suffar, standing on the beach near the portal to the dimension of ultimate evil.  Beyond words and consumed with hatred, Darquan could only stand and stare as Suffar beckoned to him.  The evil wizard called for Kogan and had the giant bats made ready for takeoff once again.
 
 
“It's a trick, boss,” said Kogan.
 
 
“Don't speak,” said Darquan.  “You know nothing save what I have taught you.”
 
 
They were airborne a short time later.  There was still a huge maelstrom over Hetain's lake and the pair had to land their bats far from shore.  Darquan landed behind a grassy hill which he scuttled up to spy on the portal from afar.  There was Suffar, strutting back and forth before the portal as freely as you please.
 
 
“You will never have the pearl,” said Darquan under his breath.
 
 
===(18 June 2017)===
 
<pre>@.N.o.(OOO).oN</pre>
 
 
"He means to trick you," said Kogan.  "All he wants is the pearl!"
 
 
"I have had enough of your talk!" shouted Darquan.
 
 
There was a flash of light and where once stood Kogan the dwarf, there was now a statue made of stone.  Darquan instantly regretted his action.  Not only had he lost a needed ally, but he had also given away his position.  He stood up and saw Suffar down by the lake, beckoning to him.
 
 
"You will never have the pearl!" declared Darquan as he stalked down to where Suffar was standing, near the portal to ultimate evil.
 
 
"You mean this pearl?" asked Suffar, withdrawing the shiny pearl from his pocket.
 
 
With a sudden sinking feeling, Darquan reached into his robe and held out the clouded brown pearl.  Driven by anger and outrage, Darquan cast the pearl into the maelstrom.  Suffar twirled, flaring out his cloak and disappearing in a puff of smoke.  The portal began to disappear.  Darquan could feel his heart sputtering and giving its last beat.  He had been tricked for the final time.
 
 
===(29 July 2017)===
 
<pre>..N%..</pre>
 
Suffar rested by the lake, meditating on all that had passed. The pearl was gone, but so were the malevolent titans that sought to use it for evil. Now the stars could resume their course through the sky and Domon could chase the moon in his fiery chariot. After a good long time, Suffar stood and noticed the statue of Kogan for what seemed like the first time. The stoney eyes seemed to follow him as he approached.
 
 
“Darquan used the power of the pearl to keep you alive,” said Suffar. “If I restore you, you will die.”
 
 
The statue blinked once.
 
 
Calling on all his power, Suffar reversed Darquan's curse. Kogan began to move, struggling to breathe, then collapsed. Suffar held his hand as he died. It was as it should be. Kogan had taken the life of a titan and had to pay the price. He would be with the heroes in Nullset now.
 
 
Darquan would be there too, no doubt struggling to return. Suffar would be there to meet him. It was to this end that Suffar had made his vow. The harmony of Nature must be preserved.
 
 
THE END
 
 
===New Story (27 August 2017)===
 
<pre>@&\@H...UH.</pre>
 
 
Who would throw away such a beautiful baby?  The basket had come down the Apagan river.  From Etwersbrot.  Ever since the outbreak of hostilities, people had looked to the magic city for hope and inspiration.  Now they were flinging their offspring into the river.  It was a time that would one day be called the Second Nightmare Apocalypse.
 
 
“More demons ahead, Omak,” said the old knight.
 
 
“I see them!” shouted Omak as the pair charged down the caravan trail.
 
 
The most promising rider Sir Twan had ever seen, Omak was a dwarf from the south. He served in the garrison of Akkadin before the Evil One came.  In the chaos that followed, Omak stole a pony and ran for the hills.  That was where Twan found him.
 
 
“Don't worry Master,” said Omak.  “This one is mine.”
 
 
The monster wasn't used to the rules that governed this world.  Its ungainly limbs smacked against the dirt as it struggled to get away.  Omak smacked the flanks of his dark pony and then lifted his blade to strike.  The creature looked back just in time to get a face of steel.  A fountain of black blood shot up from the ruined head of the monster.
 
 
“I did it,” cried Omak.
 
 
“Excellent,” said Twan.  “I'll make a Beast Maimer of you yet!”
 
 
“What's it got in its arms?” asked Omak
 
 
“A dwarven child!” shouted Twan.
 
 
===(25 September 2017)===
 
<pre>!!@!!</pre>
 
 
“Do you think the babe is from that village, yonder?” asked Omak.
 
 
“If so, all her kin are dead,” said Sir Twan.
 
 
The beast maimers returned to the city of Otla, to seek a home for the child.  There were electrical storms all night.  Unforeseen to all knights of the realm, the evil Cenaster had been slain, and with his death the Earth had been cast adrift in the cosmic ether.  The child cried and cried.  At last, the warlord would see them.
 
 
“You say you rescued the babe from a demon?” asked Lord Saster.
 
 
“She is marked with magic power,” said Sir Twan, “and destined for greatness!”
 
 
“Then you and Omak will raise her as a Beast Maimer,” said Saster.
 
 
It was a great honor, and a great responsibility.  Omak found a room for the baby in the castle.  There was still the need for a name.  Sir Twan sought to name her after the great city where she was found.
 
 
“She shall be named Otilla,” said the knight.
 
 
===(28 October 2017)===
 
<pre>.@.@..</pre>
 
 
As great a fighter as master Omak was a rider, Otilla had grown up and found her place among the Beast Maimers.  Every morning at dawn the Maimers would sally forth from Otla Castle and search for demons to slay.  The creatures may have stopped pouring into this world since the death of Cenaster, but enough had made their through that a special effort was required to wipe them off the face of the Earth.
 
 
“Grandfather Twan?” asked Otilla as she arrived at the meeting place.  “Where is Master Omak?”
 
 
“Omak has gone to speak with the head of our order,” said Twan.  “He has yet to return.”
 
 
“He has gone to see mighty Bram?” asked Otilla with excitement.  “Is the champion coming here?”
 
 
The monster of Otla Hill was the Maimers' greatest shame.  They had cleared out the Forbidden Forest and slain enough demons to keep the King's Highway open from Etwersbrot to Akkadin.  Still, no knight was brave enough, or skilled enough in the martial arts, to take on the Otla Hill monster. 
 
 
“He has come to slay the monster,” said Otilla.  “I know it!”
 
  
 
==[[User:Haedrian|Haedrian]]==
 
==[[User:Haedrian|Haedrian]]==

Please note that all contributions to Dwarf Fortress Wiki are considered to be released under the GFDL & MIT (see Dwarf Fortress Wiki:Copyrights for details). If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly and redistributed at will, then do not submit it here.
You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource. Do not submit copyrighted work without permission!

To protect the wiki against automated edit spam, we kindly ask you to solve the following CAPTCHA:

Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)

Template used on this page:

This page is a member of 1 hidden category: