Bloodline:Ironhold Year 1053A
 The Story Thus Far
There I was, happily brewing away in a brand-new fortress. Content in my quiet but beer-filled lifestyle.
The memories of my two stints as a ruler of one of these damnable fortresses were slowly draining from my mind. Not that the memories themselves were bad - sure I took over from complete madmen, but they weren't incompetent madmen. When I finished my six-month rule and passed them back to the madmen I was feeling almost optimistic.
What happened then? The gods only know. The fortresses - both of them - simply disappeared. Man, woman, child, and stone - gone!
So here I sit. Desperate to destroy my memories of those fortresses.
That was when our ruler walked into my still and said, "I'm done with this. It's your turn, have fun."
 The Situation
Okay, from what I can tell everything seems alright. The previous ruler appears to have been competent and sane, although a little accident prone.
That was what I thought until a dwarf walked into my still and sheepishly said, "Er, sir, the stockpiles..."
"What about them?" I replied, trying to sound friendly.
"Er, they're a bit of a mess sir."
I went upstairs to take a look.
What the fuck.
The first thing I did was order myself to do nothing but make booze. The previous ruler had me running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and the fortress is suffering from something of a booze shortage as a result. There are enough useless nincompoops to do the hauling around here.
Seriously, what the hell does a "Potash Maker" even do? And why do we have two of them?
Assigned our mason and carpenter to begin work on the items we need to finish up the living quarters. I also drafted my predecessor into the army. Take that fucker.
Our already-master stonecrafter has taken to a fey mood. Let's hope this doesn't end badly.
Looks like the stonecrafter got everything he needed.
I've setup numerous production orders for everything we're missing - beds, doors, and coffers for the remaining bedrooms, mechanisms for traps, backpacks for trade value, and of course, BOOZE. I also added a stockpile for the carpenter and setup the food stockpiles so that the useful seed stockpiles next to the farms will actually be filled.
We're almost out of wood. Four "woodworkers" and not a single tree marked for destruction, *sigh*. You would think I took over from an elf!
An elven caravan has arrived. Maybe my predecessor really was an elf. I'll try to avoid offering them a stockpile of wooden crafts.
The elves brought nothing but cloth. I exchanged a few piles of stone crafts for enough cloth to cover a dwarven army.
The drawbridge assembly has been completed... I assume it works, but frankly I'm afraid to try. I'm starting construction on the traps in the death walk.
My advisors informed me the previous ruler built a tomb of size six units by six units. So I ordered the miners to dig out a seven by seven block. Seems only natural.
Right when everything was nice and quiet. :(
Over 20 new dwarves. *sigh* Our so-called expedition leader is now a Mayor, and we have a newly-appointed Captain of the Guard and fortress guard. I'm also going to recruit a few more into the military.
If anyone sees a PETA employee... please tell me...
One of my exploratory mining operations has struck Kimberlite. Hopefully diamonds will not be far behind.
Some dwarves weren't quick enough to the call. Sodel was the first death of our young fortress. He'll be remembered.
The first, but not the only. A woodworker was quick to follow.
The damnable goblins are just hanging around. I don't want to send my military out, but I can't let my dwarves go about their business for fear of being shot. Damn!
OH FOR GOD'S SAKE
The goblins have been defeated! In a vicious open-field battle our military destroyed them. We lost three men and one more civilian, but killed four goblins. A minor victory, but a victory nonetheless.
Immediately all effort will be put towards securing our entrances and finishing the drawbridge. Never again!
The possessed metalsmith is asking for metal bars, cloth, and thread. Considering we have all of that in the forms our fortress has access to, I suspect he's going to be insane in the near future. *sighs*
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME
Aban Fikodkikrost, the animal dissector has gone berserk! No one's sure what he's going to... oh god... what's he doing to that dog... OH GOD.
Oh god he pulled its tail off.
The fortress guards and military are RUNNING IN TERROR. He caught one of them and beat him in the pancreas until the poor bastard vomited.
Oh god he's catching up to the wounded ex-mayor.
He just beat the captain of the guard to death.
Oh thank god it's over. He was finally beaten two death by two guardsmen, a wrestler, and a crossbowman.
Apparently no one ever finished talking with the human envoy. I found him in the catacombs next to where the ex-mayor died, sobbing and mumbling, "I just wanted to talk... I just wanted to talk..." Apparently during the whole business he was running back and forth saying, "Excuse me, excuse me can I have a word?"
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
*sobs into his beer*
This is... horrifying.
The mechanic was possessed. He's taken over a workshop and is demanding all sorts of stuff, including some kind of stone I apparently don't have. I'm about ready to write him off.
Oh sweet Jesus.
The dwarves showed up. My mayor spent a month sitting in his office conducting a meeting. Problem is the liason spent the month in the middle of my fortress. What the fuck. I assume both of them were conducting meetings between their right hands and their own...
Anyways, in the end I had to go manage to trading myself. I traded a few barrels full of crafts for various iron, gems, and cloth.
Not a lot of immigrants. A swordsdwarf and two peasants, which I recruited into the military, and a few others. The only one of interest was a metalcrafter, which will replace the one that went insane.
There are some Dark Gnomes wandering around outside the fortress. They keep disrupting the dwarves, but they don't seem hostile. Every once in a while one of them wanders into a trap. I'm going to sick the military on them.
Construction has been completed on my tomb.
I almost can't wait to die.
*looks pensively at the elephant peering over the ridge*
THAT WASN'T AN INVITATION YOU PACHYDERMIC BASTARD.
One of our cooks has been taken by a mood. Hopefully this one won't go insane.
He's screaming for rock blocks, logs, shells, and bones.
*sighs* There goes another one.
I told our herbalist to go hunt something, in case the cook wants the bones. But I forgot to assign him a weapon.
He beat a goat to death with his bare hands.
The cook finally went insane. I'm going to be glad to be done with this in two weeks.
I stationed the military outside the workshop the cook took over and unbarred the door. He came flying out the door and was promptly strangled to death by Tekkud Bekarkeskal, a wrestler who was still carrying her baby on her back.
 So It Goes
The end of my rule has come. I pass it on to the next suck--um, lucky dwarf. I think I'm leaving it better than I found it, but here's a brief sum up.
 The Good
- Our food and booze supplies are massive and require almost no input from the ruler. Just pile up some orders every so often and stocks will be replenished. We have a massive reserve and plenty of space for more farming, which I wouldn't even bother with until we get some immigrants and a new Planter.
- Despite the goblins and the issues that followed, we've come out of this year with 17 more dwarves than we started it with. No complaints there. All the important jobs are well-filled, and we've got plenty of extra bums lying around.
- The drawbridge is setup and there's loads of traps in the death walk. However, you may want to close up the back entrance, it's much less defendable.
- We've got plenty of all the basic resources - seeds, stone, wood, etc.
- Despite all the war and insanity, all the previous rulers are still alive.
 The Bad
- Storage is a mess. You can see that for yourself easily enough.
- We have no iron ore. I'm sure it's out there somewhere, but my exploratory digs have turned up nothing. Keep trying.
- The military is... well, I've basically ignored it. The so-called crossbow squadron is barely trained and they rarely pick up the bolts that are supposedly available. I don't know why. I've started orders of wooden bolts. Maybe they'll actually train with those.
- People keep going insane.
Yeah so... that about sums it up. Good luck.