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Difference between revisions of "Cacame Awemedinade"
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(Update to page 37 and extensive rewrite; a few related additions to "Engraving and decorations") |
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{{D for Dwarf}} | {{D for Dwarf}} | ||
| − | + | <br/><br/> | |
[[File:Cacame Fault elfking.jpg|200px|thumb|right|"The Glorious Elf King" by Fault]] | [[File:Cacame Fault elfking.jpg|200px|thumb|right|"The Glorious Elf King" by Fault]] | ||
| − | '''Cacame Awemedinade Monípalóthi''' (Cacame Apebalded the Immortal Onslaught) is rumored to be the world's most badass | + | The [[Elf]] King of the [[Dwarves]], '''Cacame Awemedinade Monípalóthi''' (Cacame Apebalded, the Immortal Onslaught) is rumored to be the world's most badass elf. |
| − | In one particular slice of the Dwarf Fortress multiverse (generated by Holy Mittens), Cacame ascended to the rank of Elf King of the Dwarves. The story of his rise to glory has been chronicled in an [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 epic | + | In one particular slice of the Dwarf Fortress multiverse (generated by Holy Mittens), Cacame ascended to the rank of Elf King of the Dwarves. The story of his rise to glory has been chronicled in an [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 epic 60+ page thread] on the Bay 12 Games forum that includes original artwork, economic discussions, raw edits, world gen randomness, Chuck Norris jokes, Battletech references, and a Cacame-themed [[Mega construction|megaproject]]. |
==Brief history== | ==Brief history== | ||
| + | ===Relatives=== | ||
| + | Cacame Awemedinade was born in 83 from Fewetha Spokenthundered and Osime, both of whom were eventually killed and eaten by Gibberlings (modded grotesque creatures that exist to kill, eat, and reproduce) on separate occasions. | ||
| + | |||
| + | As for the rest of Cacame's family, they are all living unimportant lives. Most tragically, they are still living in the elf civilization. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Early life and rise to Sovereignty=== | ||
[[File:Cacame history.jpg|400px|thumb|center|Cacame's early history (by Fault)]] | [[File:Cacame history.jpg|400px|thumb|center|Cacame's early history (by Fault)]] | ||
| − | [[File:Vester Cacame.png|200px|thumb| | + | [[File:Vester Cacame.png|200px|thumb|left|RIIIIDE CACAME RIIIIIDE! (by Vester)]] |
The dwarven civilization and Cacame's former Elven civilization were at war for many years, with the dwarves basically kicking the crap out of the elves for decades. In 90, the dwarves conquered his home city and placed a new dwarven governor in charge. Cacame was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a [[Guard]]. | The dwarven civilization and Cacame's former Elven civilization were at war for many years, with the dwarves basically kicking the crap out of the elves for decades. In 90, the dwarves conquered his home city and placed a new dwarven governor in charge. Cacame was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a [[Guard]]. | ||
| − | Two years later, an elven attack injured his lower body and killed his wife Nemo (who was then eaten by the elf | + | Two years later, an elven attack injured his lower body and killed his wife Nemo Ruyavaiyici (who was then eaten by Amoya Themarifa, the elf who killed her). Two years after that, in 99, the dwarven king was killed in battle and somehow, Cacame became the leader of the civilization at the age of 16. It can only be assumed that his hatred of (and possibly his habit of gleefully executing) other elves at eating his wife was so great that it impressed even the dwarves. |
| + | |||
| + | In 111, at the age of 28, he moved his capital to the Gamilrag (Trustclaps) Fortress. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Colossus of Cacame=== | ||
| + | [[File:Cacame colossus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Colossus of Cacame<br/>(by Holy Mittens)]]King Cacame would go on to defeat a red [[dragon]] called Sokröx Glimmerfair (the Duty of Coloring) with [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_vs._The_Dragon|nothing more than Competent Hammer skill]]. This deed inspired the admiring dwarves to build a [[megaproject|monument]] to their king, the [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_and_the_Colossus|Colossus of Cacame]]. It is told by the bards that there was a large [[goblin]] attack during the inauguration party, and that King Cacame himself stood alone before the Colossus and glared at the goblins until they panicked and routed. Some naysayers<sup><small>Who?</small></sup>, however, claim that a battle was actually fought and won before King Cacame's arrival. | ||
| + | |||
| − | + | ''His cape is made of solid [[gold]]. It took 949 bars of gold to forge. The vast majority of that gold was home-smelted. The head of his hammer is made of mithril with an [[iron]] band around it, spike at the top, and handle. That's 132 bars of mithril and 37 bars of iron.'' | |
| − | [[ | + | ''His armor and helmet are made of [[obsidian]]. I'm not even going to attempt to calculate or count how many stones it took. It was a lot of them. The horns on his helmet are [[cinnabar]]. His flesh is forged of [[platinum]]. 33 bars in total. His eyes are [[clear glass]] [[blocks]]. Behind his eyes are pools of [[magma]] that were pumped from the pipe a fair distance away. Sadly, Visual Fortress doesn't display this as two huge glowing orbs of elf-hating malice. |
| + | The construction took the lifes of five workers, who were properly honored and entombed.'' | ||
| + | ===Questing for revenge=== | ||
| + | [[File:http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg741959#msg741959|400px|thumb|left|Cacame vs. Egngun (by Vester)]]In time, King Cacame's Royal Guard expanded to other races, coming to include like-minded elfs and even a couple of awe-thralled goblins, all fanatically loyal and immensely skilled. | ||
| + | Hearing of King Cacame's might and the splendor of his kingdom, the Elven King Iwo Lolamaficemi (Barricaded Sever of Flaying), who fought against and ate Amoya Themarifa, found that it would be advantageous to make a [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_and_the_State_Visit|State Visit]] to Gamilrag. This (predictably) turned out to be a mistake, and he left in a hurry with his entourage after a very brief private meeting. While the precise words exchanged are unknown, it isn't hard to guess what happened. | ||
| − | + | The elven king's visit had, however, the effect of stirring the desire to take direct revenge on his wife's killer, and drove Cacame to leave the fortress incognito. While the king returned more bitter than ever (if that's even possible) and never spoke about what happened, some inquisitive bards managed to [[King_Cacame's_quest|find clues to his doings elsewhere]]. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | + | ===Dissatisfaction and Ennui=== | |
| + | [[File:http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg743958#msg743958|400px|thumb|right|Cacame merrymaking (by Fault)]]Having his deepest desires denied, Cacame started to fall into a apathy-driven lassitude. However, when the [[humans]] decided to besiege his fortress he regained some of his spirit, lowered the drawbridge and waited them out alone between the legs of his Colossus [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_merrymaking_with_the_Human_besiegers|to greet and entertain them]]. | ||
| + | |||
| + | On this occasion, he taught them to play hammer tag, dodgearrow, head cricket, foegolf, and other contact sports; he also showed them a few parlor tricks such as "punt away the horse from under its rider". To his great chagrin, the surviving humans quickly decided the party was running late and retired... | ||
| − | |||
==Goblin reaction (by Neruz)== | ==Goblin reaction (by Neruz)== | ||
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'''Goblin2:''' ''Fsck that, lets go raid the Orcs.''<br/> | '''Goblin2:''' ''Fsck that, lets go raid the Orcs.''<br/> | ||
'''Goblin1:''' ''Probably be safer.''<br/> | '''Goblin1:''' ''Probably be safer.''<br/> | ||
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| Line 61: | Line 76: | ||
[ADJ:fighting] | [ADJ:fighting] | ||
[ADJ:warring] | [ADJ:warring] | ||
| + | [ADJ:dragon-slaying] | ||
| + | [ADJ:hardballing] | ||
| + | [ADJ:demon-slaying] | ||
| + | [ADJ:siege-breaking] | ||
[TILE:69] | [TILE:69] | ||
</pre> | </pre> | ||
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* [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 Epic DF forum topic] | * [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 Epic DF forum topic] | ||
| − | ===Cacame vs. The Dragon=== | + | ===King Cacame vs. The Dragon=== |
* [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1611-cacamevsthedragon Cacame vs. The Dragon movie] | * [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1611-cacamevsthedragon Cacame vs. The Dragon movie] | ||
* [http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=40632.0 Cacame vs. the Dragon short story] | * [http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=40632.0 Cacame vs. the Dragon short story] | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
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===King Cacame and the Colossus=== | ===King Cacame and the Colossus=== | ||
* [http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=41101.0 King Cacame and the Colossus short story] | * [http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=41101.0 King Cacame and the Colossus short story] | ||
| + | ===King Cacame and the State Visit=== | ||
| + | * [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg734323#msg734323 Bard's account of the meeting between King Cacame and King Iwo] | ||
| + | ===King Cacame's quest=== | ||
| + | * [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=41404.msg744116#msg744116 Fragmentary retelling of King Cacame's doings while incognito] | ||
| + | ===King Cacame merrymaking with the Human besiegers=== | ||
| + | * [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1651-cacamevsthehumanspt1 Part 1][http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1652-cacamevsthehumanspt2 Part 2][http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1653-cacamevsthehumanspt3 Part 3] | ||
[[Category:Humor and stories]] | [[Category:Humor and stories]] | ||
Revision as of 01:42, 23 April 2013
|
This article or section has been rated D for Dwarf. It may include witty humour, not-so-witty humour, bad humour, in-jokes, pop culture references, and references to the Bay12 forums. Don't believe everything you read, and if you miss some of the references, don't worry. It was inevitable. |
The Elf King of the Dwarves, Cacame Awemedinade Monípalóthi (Cacame Apebalded, the Immortal Onslaught) is rumored to be the world's most badass elf.
In one particular slice of the Dwarf Fortress multiverse (generated by Holy Mittens), Cacame ascended to the rank of Elf King of the Dwarves. The story of his rise to glory has been chronicled in an epic 60+ page thread on the Bay 12 Games forum that includes original artwork, economic discussions, raw edits, world gen randomness, Chuck Norris jokes, Battletech references, and a Cacame-themed megaproject.
Brief history
Relatives
Cacame Awemedinade was born in 83 from Fewetha Spokenthundered and Osime, both of whom were eventually killed and eaten by Gibberlings (modded grotesque creatures that exist to kill, eat, and reproduce) on separate occasions.
As for the rest of Cacame's family, they are all living unimportant lives. Most tragically, they are still living in the elf civilization.
Early life and rise to Sovereignty
The dwarven civilization and Cacame's former Elven civilization were at war for many years, with the dwarves basically kicking the crap out of the elves for decades. In 90, the dwarves conquered his home city and placed a new dwarven governor in charge. Cacame was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a Guard.
Two years later, an elven attack injured his lower body and killed his wife Nemo Ruyavaiyici (who was then eaten by Amoya Themarifa, the elf who killed her). Two years after that, in 99, the dwarven king was killed in battle and somehow, Cacame became the leader of the civilization at the age of 16. It can only be assumed that his hatred of (and possibly his habit of gleefully executing) other elves at eating his wife was so great that it impressed even the dwarves.
In 111, at the age of 28, he moved his capital to the Gamilrag (Trustclaps) Fortress.
Colossus of Cacame
King Cacame would go on to defeat a red dragon called Sokröx Glimmerfair (the Duty of Coloring) with nothing more than Competent Hammer skill. This deed inspired the admiring dwarves to build a monument to their king, the Colossus of Cacame. It is told by the bards that there was a large goblin attack during the inauguration party, and that King Cacame himself stood alone before the Colossus and glared at the goblins until they panicked and routed. Some naysayersWho?, however, claim that a battle was actually fought and won before King Cacame's arrival.
His cape is made of solid gold. It took 949 bars of gold to forge. The vast majority of that gold was home-smelted. The head of his hammer is made of mithril with an iron band around it, spike at the top, and handle. That's 132 bars of mithril and 37 bars of iron.
His armor and helmet are made of obsidian. I'm not even going to attempt to calculate or count how many stones it took. It was a lot of them. The horns on his helmet are cinnabar. His flesh is forged of platinum. 33 bars in total. His eyes are clear glass blocks. Behind his eyes are pools of magma that were pumped from the pipe a fair distance away. Sadly, Visual Fortress doesn't display this as two huge glowing orbs of elf-hating malice. The construction took the lifes of five workers, who were properly honored and entombed.
Questing for revenge
In time, King Cacame's Royal Guard expanded to other races, coming to include like-minded elfs and even a couple of awe-thralled goblins, all fanatically loyal and immensely skilled.
Hearing of King Cacame's might and the splendor of his kingdom, the Elven King Iwo Lolamaficemi (Barricaded Sever of Flaying), who fought against and ate Amoya Themarifa, found that it would be advantageous to make a State Visit to Gamilrag. This (predictably) turned out to be a mistake, and he left in a hurry with his entourage after a very brief private meeting. While the precise words exchanged are unknown, it isn't hard to guess what happened.
The elven king's visit had, however, the effect of stirring the desire to take direct revenge on his wife's killer, and drove Cacame to leave the fortress incognito. While the king returned more bitter than ever (if that's even possible) and never spoke about what happened, some inquisitive bards managed to find clues to his doings elsewhere.
Dissatisfaction and Ennui
Having his deepest desires denied, Cacame started to fall into a apathy-driven lassitude. However, when the humans decided to besiege his fortress he regained some of his spirit, lowered the drawbridge and waited them out alone between the legs of his Colossus to greet and entertain them.
On this occasion, he taught them to play hammer tag, dodgearrow, head cricket, foegolf, and other contact sports; he also showed them a few parlor tricks such as "punt away the horse from under its rider". To his great chagrin, the surviving humans quickly decided the party was running late and retired...
Goblin reaction (by Neruz)
Goblin1: Man, I heard about these Dwarves. They have an Elf, for their King!
Goblin2: You sh*tting me?
Goblin1: I am totally serious, this Elf is so badass the Dwarves accept him as their King!
Goblin2: Fsck that, lets go raid the Orcs.
Goblin1: Probably be safer.
Add him to your game!
Engraving and decorations
Shima: Add this to descriptor_shape_standard.txt in the raws, and he will show up in other worlds. He might also appear in the likes of Dwarves, possibly ... will appear in engravings and decorations for all races, that much I can tell you for sure. There may be some odd syntax "Engraving of a ale-chugging Elf King etcetc" and such, but that's the nature. Rarely, in a Dwarf's likes, it might show "Elf King Cacame Lastnamey" as a like as well.
[SHAPE:ELFKING] [NAME:Elf King Cacame Awemedinade:Elf King Cacame Awemedinade] [ADJ:awe-inspiring] [ADJ:grand] [ADJ:marvelous] [ADJ:kickass] [ADJ:Elf-hating] [ADJ:ale-chugging] [ADJ:great] [ADJ:excellent] [ADJ:fantastic] [ADJ:majestic] [ADJ:extraordinary] [ADJ:tall] [ADJ:magma-loving] [ADJ:hammering] [ADJ:fighting] [ADJ:warring] [ADJ:dragon-slaying] [ADJ:hardballing] [ADJ:demon-slaying] [ADJ:siege-breaking] [TILE:69]
Awemedinite
Shima: I bring you... Awemedinite!
(for version 0.28.181.40d only)
This goes into Matgloss_Metal [MATGLOSS_METAL:AWEMEDINITE] [NAME:Awemedinite] [ADJ:Awesome] [COLOR:5:5:0] [VALUE:1000] [SPEC_HEAT:7500] [MELTING_POINT:50000] [BOILING_POINT:60000] [WEAPON] [WEAPON_RANGED] [ARMOR] [DAMAGE_PERC:800] [BLOCK_PERC:800] [SOLID_DENSITY:200] [DEEP]
And this into Reaction_Standard [REACTION:AWEMEDINITE] [NAME:make Awemedinite bars] [SMELTER] [REAGENT:15:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:IRON] [REAGENT:10:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:STEEL] [REAGENT:5:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:GOLD] [REAGENT:5:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:SILVER] [REAGENT:50:STONE:NO_SUBTYPE:STONE:MICROCLINE] [REAGENT:3:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:ADAMANTINE] [PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:AWEMEDINITE] [FUEL]