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<noinclude> | <noinclude> | ||
| − | + | Please limit quotes to ~135 characters or less (longest below are longer than that, but remain as "legacy" from Toady etc.). Longer quotes may be deleted. | |
| − | |||
| − | + | Do not use equals signs or vertical bars in your quotes or they will break. | |
| − | + | When adding a quote, be sure to update the {{tl|rand|###}} number. | |
| − | + | [[Category:Humor and stories]] | |
| − | | | + | ---- |
| − | | | + | </noinclude>{{#switch:{{rand|114}}| |
| − | | | + | |1=I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny. |
| − | | | + | |2=Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange_mood|mysterious]] construction! |
| − | | | + | |3=Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"] |
| − | | | + | |4=[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength! |
| − | | | + | |5=[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high! |
| − | | | + | |6=[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer! |
| − | | | + | |7=The critical question is this''':''' do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf? |
| − | | | + | |8="Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess." |
| − | | | + | |9=Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]]. |
| − | | | + | |10=[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons. |
| − | | | + | |11=My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods. |
| − | | | + | |12=I can just imagine a wagon throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people. |
| − | | | + | |13=Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal. |
| − | | | + | |14=Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong! |
| − | | | + | |15=The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me... |
| − | | | + | |16=Wait, you're MAKING animals?<br>—''Torak''<br>At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows.<br>—''Spiders Everywhere'' |
| − | | | + | |17="Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..."<br>--[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |18=(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter.<br>--Sowelu<br><br>Very fitting to dwarves, I must add.<br>--Sean Mirrsen |
| − | | | + | |19=[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.<br>--[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]] |
| − | | | + | |20="<nowiki>[B]</nowiki>oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats."<br>--[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |21="I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example."<br>--[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |22="You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!"<br>--[[User:Savok|Savok]] |
| − | | | + | |23="What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred." |
| − | | | + | |24=Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn |
| − | | | + | |25=The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]] |
| + | |26=[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results. | ||
| + | |27=Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction! | ||
Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl. | Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl. | ||
| − | | | + | |28="Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita |
| − | | | + | |29="Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |30="...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero |
| − | | | + | |31="This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://tinyurl.com/6yruly Soup_alex] |
| − | | | + | |32="The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]] |
| − | | | + | |33="Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin |
| − | | | + | |34="Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name." |
| − | | | + | |35="Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |36="There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code. When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |37="Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]] |
| − | | | + | |38="It's never 'just a game' when you're losing."<br>--George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress) |
| − | | | + | |39=Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway. |
| − | | | + | |40=Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit. |
| − | | | + | |41=Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions. "There! Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins." |
| − | | | + | |42="Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum! Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness. Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death." |
| − | | | + | |43="Known bug #780: Town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body." |
| − | | | + | |44="Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]] |
| − | | | + | |45=Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious. |
| − | | | + | |46=Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers. Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy. |
| − | | | + | |47=Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels. |
| − | | | + | |48=Most vermin teleport, so nothing actually contains them. -[[User:Fuzzy|Fuzzy]] |
| − | | | + | |49=There are 5 articles in category Lore: Armok, Cave Adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher, and Vomit. |
| − | | | + | |50=There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe. |
| − | | | + | |51=Bug #563: mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects |
| − | | | + | |52=If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of? |
| − | | | + | |53=Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn |
| − | | | + | |54="You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]] |
| − | | | + | |55='''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?"<br>'''Yanlin:''' "Magma." |
| − | | | + | |56=An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls. |
| − | | | + | |57=Bug #597: Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy. |
| − | | | + | |58='''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' <br> Urdim, you are a freaking idiot. |
| − | | | + | |59=<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing. |
| − | | | + | |60="If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." |
| − | | | + | |61="Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead." |
| − | | | + | |62=Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!! |
| − | | | + | |63=Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny. |
| − | | | + | |64=The carp has drowned. |
| − | | | + | |65=There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones. And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones. |
| − | | | + | |66="I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream." |
| − | | | + | |67=Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately. |
| − | | | + | |68="Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave."<br> --Toady One |
| − | | | + | |69=Bug #871: babies fall to death when born on stairs |
| − | | | + | |70=Bug #1031: a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes |
| − | | | + | |71="[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi |
| − | | | + | |72=You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |73=Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG?? |
| − | | | + | |74=...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG?? |
| − | | | + | |75=Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup. He absolutely detests purring maggots." |
| − | | | + | |76="I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One |
| − | | | + | |77=Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately. |
| − | | | + | |78=I added two levers. One opens the magma. The other sets free all the cats. --Someone in Headshoots |
| − | | | + | |79="As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan... |
| − | | | + | |80="Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi |
| − | | | + | |81=It has stats. It can be killed. |
| − | | | + | |82=Bug #432: Bones pop out of coffins. |
| − | | | + | |83=Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago. |
| − | | | + | |84=If I <em>remembered</em> what the fucking lever did, I'd <em>pull</em> it! <...pulls lever anyway...> |
| − | | | + | |85=Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine. |
| − | | | + | |86="So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??" |
| − | | | + | |87=Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf. |
| − | | | + | |88=Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes. I still wonder how you would drink from that. |
| − | | | + | |89=Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying. |
| − | | | + | |90=Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently. |
| − | | | + | |91=You haven't embarked on a quest - you've joined a religion. --Quietust |
| − | | | + | |92=The alert statuses (i.e., "Stay Indoors") have been entirely redone. You may set several custom alerts with user defined [[scheduling]]. |
| − | | | + | |93=There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay. --[[Toady One]] |
| − | | | + | |94=Mew? <br />Chop! |
| − | | | + | |95="If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microline and demons." |
| − | | | + | |96='They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8 |
| − | | | + | |97=It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing. |
| − | | | + | |98=It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow. |
| − | | | + | |99=Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place. |
| − | | | + | |100=You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas. |
| − | | | + | |101=Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature |
| − | | | + | |102=Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path. |
| − | | | + | |103=Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br>--The Motto of Dwarf Fortress |
| − | | | + | |104=I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things. |
| − | | | + | |105="bibo ergo sum, I drink, therefore I am."<br />-- Dwarven Philosopher |
| − | | | + | |106=This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron. |
| − | | | + | |107=Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses. |
| − | | | + | |108=The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down! |
| − | | | + | |109=Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious! |
| − | | | + | |110=Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security! |
| − | | | + | |111=The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest. |
| − | | | + | |112=Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung!<br>''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"'' |
| − | | | + | |113="You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]] |
| − | | | + | |114=All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal. |
| − | }} | + | }} |
| − | |||
Revision as of 21:40, 22 September 2010
Please limit quotes to ~135 characters or less (longest below are longer than that, but remain as "legacy" from Toady etc.). Longer quotes may be deleted.
Do not use equals signs or vertical bars in your quotes or they will break.
When adding a quote, be sure to update the {{rand|###}} number.
Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.