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Difference between revisions of "Main Page/Quote"

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(all of these bugs are from before 0.31.xx - would be nice to include the [type][subtype] for all of them, but the old Bugs page seems to have been deleted completely)
m (Protected "Main Page/Quote": High traffic page ([Edit=Allow only administrators] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only administrators] (indefinite)))
 
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<noinclude>
 
<noinclude>
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Please limit quotes to ~135 characters or less (longest below are longer than that, but remain as "legacy" from Toady etc.). Longer quotes may be deleted.
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This is the random quote for the [[Main Page|main page]], selected from the [[Main Page/Quote/list|list]]. To add a quote, edit the [[Main Page/Quote/list|''list'']], not this page.
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{{quote|
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Do not use equals signs or vertical bars in your quotes or they will break.
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</noinclude>{{#splitrand:{{:Main Page/Quote/list}}}}<noinclude>
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When adding a quote, be sure to update the {{tl|rand|###}} number.
 
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[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
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----
 
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</noinclude>{{#switch:{{rand|133}}|
 
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|1=I can't put my finger on it. Something about this [[Fire|‼]]Cat tallow roast[[Fire|‼]] tastes funny.
 
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|2=Toady withdraws from society. Toady has begun a [[Strange mood|mysterious]] construction!
 
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|3=Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, [http://archive.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Fortress_Paintrag#1056 "Aaah! Gorillas!"]
 
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|4=[[Children|Newborn]] Zuglar Baldnessgranite prefers to consume Gorilla. A sure sign of his unparalleled strength!
 
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|5=[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/video-game-article/duke-nukem-image.php In an unrelated article] - I had no idea elephants could bounce that high!
 
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|6=[[Toady]] looses a roaring laughter, [[Fey|fell]] and terrible! Toady has butchered a spammer!
 
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|7=The critical question is this: do elf bones yield more crossbow bolts than the average number of bolts necessary to kill an elf?
 
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|8="Dwarf Fortress" ... "Like chess, only with short people that can catch on [[fire]] like [[clothing|rags]] soaked in tar, and lots of [[booze]]." ... "Like chess."
 
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|9=Dwarf Fortress has taught me that all the world's problems would be substantially reduced had our parent civilizations never minted more than four stacks of [[coins]].
 
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|10=[[Booze]] does all the work in forts. Dwarves are just booze exoskeletons.
 
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|11=My unconscious and bleeding [[mayor]] just mandated the construction of some goods.
 
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|12=I can just imagine a wagon throwing a tantrum and tossing all its contents at people.
 
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|13=Döbesh Udosdeb has been ecstatic lately. He was forced to eat a friend to survive. He enjoyed a truly decadent meal.
 
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|14=Iron [[screw pump]] exercise equipment. Pump iron and get superdwarvenly strong!
 
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|15=The violence, aggression, pain, madness, sadness of the ASCII characters never ceases to amaze me...
 
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|16=Wait, you're MAKING animals?<br>&mdash;''Torak''<br>At this moment, yes, I am smelting cows.<br>&mdash;''Spiders Everywhere''
 
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|17="Didn't you read the manual? He he he he... the manual... ..."<br>--[[Toady One]]
 
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|18=(Compared to real-world years) Dwarven years are shorter.<br>--Sowelu<br><br>Very fitting to dwarves, I must add.<br>--Sean Mirrsen
 
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|19=[[Magma]] is not a [[water]] source. Dwarves can't drink it or supply it to their wounded.<br>--[[User:AlienChickenPie|AlienChickenPie]]
 
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|20="[B]oats are the enemy of tiles. And tiles are the enemy of boats."<br>--[[Toady One]]
 
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|21="I went through and fixed a few places where forbidden/on fire weren't being respected for next time. Burning milkable creatures were still a problem for example."<br>--[[Toady One]]
 
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|22="You have been processed! Go forth, now, and edit!"<br>--[[User:Savok|Savok]]
 
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|23="What happened in 1048?" "Jreengus occurred."
 
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|24=Making rock instruments isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds --Shandrunn
 
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|25=The cyclops I was quested to kill had a thousand year history of badassery, and all of that without the leg it lost in the Year 3 (a dwarf bit it off... I should probably deal with that). --[[Toady One]]
 
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|26=[FIREIMMUNE] makes them think that [[magma]] is safe but doesn't actually make them fireproof. This can lead to some rather interesting results.
 
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|27=Endok Cerolneth has begun a mysterious construction!<br>Endok Cerolneth, Planter has given birth to a girl.
 
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|28="Incendia sunt socia vestra, armaque vestra, fortesque Montis Domi." "Magma is your ally, your weapon, the strength of the Mountain-Home." --Eita
 
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|29="Stopped people from giving quests to kill themselves." --[[Toady One]]
 
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|30="...And I simply doubt we have a need for 7 fishery workers. On top of that, a second soap maker. The hell IS soap?!" --Zero
 
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|31="This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality." - [http://tinyurl.com/6yruly Soup_alex]
 
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|32="The default mental state of a dwarf is madness. Sanity is a temporary condition - a PRIVILEGE you have to EARN!" --[[User:Fedor|Fedor]]
 
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|33="Why get normal cats? I buy lolcats in the embark screen. Much more fun to engrave about them." --Yanlin
 
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|34="Dwarf Fortress taught me it was okay to make a suit out of my neighbour's skin, as long as I gave it a name."
 
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|35="Got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants" --[[Toady One]]
 
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|36="There was a typo in the siegers' campfire code.  When the fires went out, so did the game." --[[Toady One]]
 
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|37="Hey, what does that flashing red and orange text mean? What? Why is there smoke everywhere? Oh god, are those BABIES on fire?" --[[User:StrawberryBunny|StrawberryBunny]]
 
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|38="It's never 'just a game' when you're losing."<br>--George Carlin (if he played Dwarf Fortress)
 
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|39=Not that building a bridge out of soap makes much sense to begin with anyway.
 
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|40=Note that while you cannot milk larger animals yourself, civilizations can still milk animals "off screen" for your benefit.
 
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|41=Tosid Idenarzes likes tentacle demons for their corrupt intentions.  "There!  Now we've covered all of the seven deadly sins."
 
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|42="Litast Idenudesh, baby, is throwing a tantrum!  Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has lost consciousness.  Inod Litastrilem, Mayor, has bled to death."
 
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|43=Bug 000780 [adventure mode][crime] - town guard becomes a criminal after getting an adventurer's stolen weapon stuck in his body
 
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|44="Udib Toblumaid, Axedwarf, cancels sparring in Barracks: too insane." [[User:Ben jamm1n|Ben jamm1n]]
 
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|45=Kosoth Cilobonol, Bone Carver cancels Drink: Unconscious.
 
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|46=Sizir the Snail of Bait is a deity of The Fresh Towers.  Sizir most often takes the form of a female dwarf and is associated with jealousy.
 
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|47=Sibrek Tanbim likes Limestone, Tin, Smoky Quartz, the color crimson, bolts, scepters, anvils, and rock blocks for their lack of quality levels.
 
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|48=There are 5 articles in category Lore:  Armok, Cave Adaptation, Elephant, Philosopher, and Vomit.
 
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|49=There is nothing to catch in the magma pipe.
 
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|50=Bug 000563 - mayor ordered himself beaten for failing to make crystal glass objects
 
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|51=If cow cheese is made from cow's milk, what is dwarven cheese made of?
 
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|52=Bugs are opportunities to cause unprecedented amounts of destruction. --Zorgn
 
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|53="You know, Urist, you've got a mind like an +Ash Trap+."--[[User:Destor|Destor]]
 
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|54='''Zander J:''' "Is there a way to stop immigration without setting the population cap?"<br>'''Yanlin:''' "Magma."
 
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|55=An animal trainer just suddenly stopped working and hid himself in a workshop. He's probably going to make a wardog out of rock and goblin skulls.
 
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|56=Bug 000597 - flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy.
 
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|57='''Urdim Kutamèrith, Pump Operator, has created Rakusttenshed, a Glumprong blowgun!''' <br> Urdim, you are a freaking idiot.
 
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|58=<Forkez> I don't get the game, but I do get that tunnels flooded with water is a bad thing.
 
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|59="If you give a dwarf a fire, he will be warm for a night. If you set a dwarf on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life."
 
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|60="Since the Elves said they won't let me cut down any trees, I bought 50 of their logs instead."
 
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|61=Do not make a trading race that breathes fire.<br/><br/>I REPEAT, DON'T!! EVER!!
 
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|62=Dwarf Fortress: Because burning elves are funny.
 
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|63=The carp has drowned.
 
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|64=There's one thing a dwarf needs, and that's stones.  And alcohol... and magma... but mainly stones.
 
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|65="I swear to god once I saw a dwarf who was labeled as being Strong, Very Agile, Very Tough... and ''Clean''. But it was probably just a bad dream."
 
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|66=Urist McRandy has been ecstatic lately. He brought somebody to bed lately.
 
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|67="Dwarven children kidnapped and incorporated into goblin society might sh... shave."<br> --Toady One
 
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|68=Bug 000871 - babies fall to death when born on stairs
 
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|69=Bug 001031 [adventure mode][inventory] - a merchant pack animal caught at an old dwarf site during adv mode was wearing a full set of clothes
 
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|70="[[Magma]] solves everything. [[Fire]] just ruins the [[booze]]." -sonerohi
 
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|71=You can't yet strangle people with the exposed guts, though I suppose that's now within reach. --[[Toady One]]
 
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|72=Look, there are roving clumps of sentient lava outside, ... This isn't going to get better. --PTTG??
 
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|73=...and the only surviving dwarf is a noble who has mandated the construction of crowns and clear glass items to the empty halls. --PTTG??
 
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|74=Adil Idenlocun is conflicted: "When possible he prefers to consume purring maggot, Dwarven ale and Dwarven syrup.  He absolutely detests purring maggots."
 
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|75="I had to leave just before I tested the dwarf with the boiling gold blood." -- Toady the Great One
 
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|76=Urdim Zatinod has been quite content lately. She has lost an annoying friend to tragedy lately.
 
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|77=I added two levers.  One opens the magma.  The other sets free all the cats.  --Someone in Headshoots
 
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|78="As Manbaspecut, Human Merchant is stricken by melancholy!" "Muskox has gone stark raving mad!" I think something is wrong with the human caravan...
 
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|79="Somebody needs to build an active volcano inside a fortress inside an active volcano." --Boksi
 
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|80=It has stats. It can be killed.
 
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|81=Bug 000432 - Bones pop out of coffins.
 
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|82=Thanks. I wish I had known that about three forts ago.
 
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|83=If I ''remembered'' what the damn lever did, I'd ''pull'' it! <...pulls lever anyway...>
 
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|84=Sarvesh Ralrubal likes olivine, olivine and olivine.
 
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|85="So let me get this straight. We managed to destroy a dwarven civilization while only managing a single town??"
 
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|86=Kara Mase, the Glory of Amusing: Engraved on the wall is an image of a dwarf and an elf. The dwarf is committing a depraved act on the elf.
 
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|87=Once saw a water skin with red beryl spikes.  I still wonder how you would drink from that.
 
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|88=Watching a kobold thief be chased by batman is very satisfying.
 
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|89=Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately.  He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently.  He took joy in slaughter lately.  He has lost a lover to tragedy lately.  He has witnessed death.  He had a satisfying sparring session recently.
 
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|90=There was kind of a violent explosion of boiling human blood when I was testing a human vs a magma man in the arena... it was a little weird, but I guess that's okay.  --[[Toady One]]
 
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|91=Mew? <br />Chop!
 
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|92="If Dwarf Fortress geology is to be believed, then the Earth's core is made of microline and demons."
 
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|93='They're firing arrows at us! Quickly! Raise the babies!!' -Urdim McSquadLeader, mother of 8
 
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|94=It started raining, then all my dwarves outside started bleeding to death. On inspection their upper bodies were missing.
 
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|95=It seems that a fresh recruit given a crossbow and a quiver with ammo in it will opt to run up to the enemy and bash them with the crossbow.
 
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|96=Bug introduced in the latest version: Firemen can have their flames severed. These flames then just lie around the place.
 
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|97=You stab Iron Man in the right leg from behind with your adamantine short sword, breaking away a piece of the gas and shattering the iron!<br>The Beak Dog is caught in a burst of Iron Man gas!<br>Beak Dog vomits into the Iron Man gas.
 
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|98=Urist McDairy, Milker cancels store item in stockpile: handling dangerous creature
 
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|99=Ildomushat, Fish Cleaner, cancels Clean Self: Could not find path.
 
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|100=Losing is [[Fun]]!!!<br>--The Motto of Dwarf Fortress
 
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|101=I hate walking under dwarven archways. You never know how many mechanized crossbows they have hidden underneath those damn things.
 
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|102="Bibo ergo sum. I drink, therefore I am."<br />-- Dwarven Philosopher
 
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|103=This is a menacing iron spike. This object menaces with spikes of iron.
 
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|104=Kogsak is a deity of The Helpful Diamond. Kogsak most often takes the form of a dwarf and is associated with fortresses.
 
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|105=The Forgotten Beast pushes The Wrestler in the head, bruising the muscle, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! The Wrestler has been struck down!
 
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|106=Goblin Chops at the Diagnostician in the right leg, damaging the muscle! Urist McHouse is Unconscious!
 
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|107=Limul Itebdesis, trader has been Possessed. Limul Itebdesis, trader has created Stodir Isethlolor, a Mortgage-Backed Security!
 
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|108=The heart wound ended up being a guy getting shot in the arm, dropping his crossbow, running over to the opposing line, and jabbing his stack of bolts into somebody's chest.
 
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|109=Giant mole has stolen a preserved prepared giant mole lung!<br>''"Hey, I want my grandfather back!"''
 
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|110="You must construct additional barrels!" - [[User:Speed112]]
 
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|111=All I want is a major river next to a volcano with flux, sand and bituminous coal.
 
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|112=Do not taunt magma.
 
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|113=I bury my pets in gold coffins and my nobles in wood coffins. Pets before people, I say.--[[KingAuggie]]
 
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|114=[the cavern] is basically like the surface, except underground
 
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|115=The fortress' randomly generated name was "Greatestfailure".
 
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|116="You stab the Human Thresher in the mouth with your large copper dagger, tearing the left cheek!" "The large copper dagger has lodged firmly in the wound!"
 
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|117="The best way to determine how dangerous a fortress is, is to make only one dwarf with the burial job, and nothing else: the lower his social skills, the more dangerous the fortress is - [[User:Rhenaya|Rhenaya]]"
 
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|118="Before retiring in the evening, heed my words and give yourself to volcanos" - Ted Usmokatra, law-giver
 
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|119=Upon coming of age, about 8, Urist McYoung Made an artifact, became mayor and promptly mandated the construction of slade goods.
 
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|120=Dwarf Fortress: You've already lost.
 
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|121=A sober fortress makes even a mental hospital seem like a pleasant place to live.
 
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|122=A typical Dwarven nightmare consists of running out of booze or getting a beard lopped off in an accident.
 
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|123=There are two ways of dealing with goblins in a tree. One is by marksdwarves. The other is by flooding the world with magma.
 
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|124=Portal and Dwarf Fortress share a mystical trend. It is !!Science!!.
 
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|125=The were-capybara is only one of the myriad lunatic monsters that terrorize the living. -- Threetoe
 
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|126=The only time I ever saw the stupid thing fly, was to cross the aqueduct, to the beer hall. -- Fredd
 
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|127=(On artifacts) I got a flint door, called The Noiseless Odors. -- Nyxalinth
 
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|128=So apparently she became queen before becoming a twilight freak wife. Fascinating. -- Samuel
 
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|129=The zombies in a necromancer's tower became suspicious after the necromancer failed to age -- Toady One
 
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|130=Got a few barrels of beetle ichor and duck blood, gave some pig cheese in exchange. Made a present of three coffins to the queen.
 
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|131=I'd have to look back to see if it wants the physical or metaphysical id on the corpse. -- Toady One
 
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|132=The Sasquatch corpse has lodged firmly in the wound! The goblin has been struck down!
 
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|133=[22:57:46] <Dik_> How do I wash myself up from blood?<br>[23:06:20] <Dik_> How the fuck do I get out of the river?
 
 
}}
 
}}
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</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 03:02, 21 January 2023

This is the random quote for the main page, selected from the list. To add a quote, edit the list, not this page.

Let us never forget the last words of Inod the Stoker, "Aaah! Gorillas!"

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