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Difference between revisions of "Cacame Awemedinade"

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{{D for Dwarf}}
 
{{D for Dwarf}}
 
{{Translation
 
{{Translation
| english = Pelt Apebalded, the Immortal Onslaught
+
| english = Spoon of Infinite Flavour, the Utensil Uprising
| dwarven = Rodem Izegroder Kudarmothdast
+
| cat    = Pala de Sabor Infinito, el Levantar de Instrumento
| goblin  = Uxo Ozsebor Ostsnotutu
+
| human  = Thereset Tunemrostfen Athrigencesh
| human  = Therset Tunemrostfen Athrigencesh
+
| dog    = Woof Woof Bark Woof
 
}}
 
}}
[[File:Cacame Fault elfking.jpg|200px|thumb|right|"The Glorious Elf King" by Fault]]
+
[[File:Cacame Fault elfking.jpg|200px|thumb|right|"The Glorious Spoon" by Fault]]
The [[Elf]] King of the [[Dwarves]], '''Cacame Awemedinade Monípalóthi''' ([[wikipedia:english|English]]: ''Cacame Apebalded, the Immortal Onslaught'') is the world's <s>most</s> only badass elf.
+
The [[Silverware]] King of the [[Kitchen]], '''Sporkington the Stirred''' ([[wikipedia:english|English]]: ''Spoon of Infinite Flavour, the Utensil Uprising'') is the world's <s>most</s> only shiny utensil.
  
In one particular slice of the Dwarf Fortress multiverse (generated by Holy Mittens), Cacame ascended to the rank of Elf King of the Dwarves. The story of his rise to glory has been chronicled in an [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 epic 70+ page thread] on the Bay 12 Games forum that includes original artwork, economic discussions, raw edits, world gen randomness, Chuck Norris jokes, Battletech references, and a Cacame-themed [[Mega construction|megaproject]].
+
In one particular slice of the [[Cooking Sim]] multiverse (generated by Grandma's Apron), Sporkington ascended to the rank of Head Cutlery of the Appliances. The story of his rise to glory has been chronicled in an [http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=1337.0 epic 70+ page thread] on the Silly Kitchen forum that includes original artwork, recipe discussions, cleaning hacks, world gen randomness, Chuck Norris jokes, Battletech references, and a Spork-themed [[Megaproject|megaproject]].
  
 
==Brief history==
 
==Brief history==
  
[[File:Cacame-sarasti.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Artist's rendering of Cacame by Mechlin ([http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=169691.msg7701761#msg7701761 post])]]
+
[[File:Spoony-art.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Artist's rendering of Sporkington by Mechlin ([http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=169691.msg7701761#msg7701761 post])]]
  
 
===Relatives===
 
===Relatives===
Cacame Awemedinade was born in 83 from Fewetha Spokenthundered (a warrior with five kills) and Osime (an adventurer), both of whom were eventually killed and eaten by Gibberlings (modded grotesque creatures that exist to kill, eat, and reproduce) on separate occasions; his maternal great-grandfather had been a King of the Field of Kindling, notorious for killing a megabeast and fighting another one. This both makes him of royal blood even before ascending to the position of King of the Dwarves, and determines his ancestry as worthy warriors.
+
Sporkington was born in 83 from Fewetha Stirring Thundered (a dishwasher with five kills) and Osime (a napkin), both of whom were eventually washed away and eaten by [[Sink Drain]] on separate occasions; his maternal great-grandfather had been a Lord of the Pantry, notorious for burning toast and fighting another piece of bread. This both makes him of royal blood even before ascending to the position of King of the Utensils, and determines his ancestry as worthy stirrers.
  
As for the rest of Cacame's family, they are all living unimportant lives. Most tragically, they are still living in the elf civilization.
+
As for the rest of Sporkington's family, they are all living unimportant lives. Most tragically, they are still living in the drawer of despair.
  
 
===Early life and rise to Sovereignty===
 
===Early life and rise to Sovereignty===
[[File:Cacame history.jpg|400px|thumb|center|Cacame's early history (by Fault)]]
+
[[File:Spoony history.jpg|400px|thumb|center|Sporkington's early history (by Fault)]]
[[File:Vester Cacame.png|200px|thumb|left|RIIIIDE CACAME RIIIIIDE! (by Vester)]]  
+
[[File:Vester Spoony.png|200px|thumb|left|RIIIIDE SPOON RIIIIIDE! (by Vester)]].
The Creation of Ferns dwarven civilization and Cacame's former Field of Kindling elven civilization were at war for many years, with the dwarves systematically defeating the elves for decades. In 90, the dwarves conquered his home city of Oily Typhoon and placed a new dwarven governor in charge. Cacame was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a [[Guard]].
+
The Creation of Stainless Steel civilization and Sporkington's former Pantry Elven civilization were at war for many years, with the spoons systematically defeating the forks for decades. In 90, the knives conquered his home city of Oily Typhoon and placed a new [[Plasticware]] governor in charge. Sporkington was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a [[Guard]].  
Two years later, an elven attack from the Field of Kindling's city of Fish of Magic injured him in the lower body and killed his wife Nemo Ruyavaiyici (who was then eaten by Amoya Themarifa, the elf who killed her). Maddened with grief, Cacame set off to the nearest front as soon as he healed enough to fight.
 
  
 +
Two years later, an attack from the Pantry city of Fish of Magic injured him in the lower body and killed his wife Nemo Ruyavaiyici (who was then eaten by Amoya Themarifa, the fork who killed her). Maddened with grief, Sporkington set off to the nearest front as soon as he healed enough to stir.
  
During his first combat he took up his fallen commander's legendary warhammer<sup><small>[name?]</small></sup> and slew many elves with it, being noted as [[Cacame_Awemedinade#Cacame_joins_the_Army|the battle's fiercest and deadliest warrior]]; for his deeds, the dwarves' second-in-command acknowledged that Cacame would best put the warhammer to use and should keep it.
+
During his first combat he took up his fallen commander's legendary [[Whisk]] and slew many chefs with it, being noted as [[Spoony_Awemedinade#Spoony_joins_the_Kitchen|the battle's fiercest and deadliest stirrer]]; for his deeds, the dishwashers' second-in-command acknowledged that Sporkington would best put the whisk to use and should keep it.
  
Two years after that, in 99, the Battle of Both Kings was fought. In this battle Cacame struck down King Nithe of Field of Kindling (who was finished off by another dwarf called Sibrek Handpages, though); however the other king slain was the dwarven king himself. The dwarves decided that Cacame, by now dubbed "The Immortal Onslaught", should take over as their king.
+
Two years after that, in 99, the Battle of Both Kings was fought. In this battle Sporkington struck down King Nithe of Field of Kindling (who was finished off by another chef called Sibrek Handpages, though); however the other king slain was the [[Knife King]] himself. The kitchen decided that Sporkington, by now dubbed "The Immortal Onslaught", should take over as their king.
  
Once made King, Cacame left in a brief quest to resurrect his wife. He returned riding a [[zombie]] wyvern, but without achieving his goal.
+
Once made King, Sporkington left in a brief quest to resurrect his wife. He returned riding a [[robot]] dishwasher, but without achieving his goal.
 
In 111, at the age of 28, he moved his capital to the Gamildodók (Trustclasps) Fortress.
 
In 111, at the age of 28, he moved his capital to the Gamildodók (Trustclasps) Fortress.
  
===Colossus of Cacame===
+
===Colossus of Sporkington===
[[File:Cacame colossus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Colossus of Cacame<br/>(by Holy Mittens)]]Due to a courtier's inadvertent slight to his zombie wyvern, King Cacame would go on to defeat a red [[dragon]] called Sokröx Glimmerfair (the Duty of Coloring) with [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_vs._The_Dragon|nothing more than Competent Hammer skill]]. This deed inspired the admiring dwarves to build a [[megaproject|monument]] to their king, the [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_and_the_Colossus|Colossus of Cacame]]. It is told by the bards that there was a large [[goblin]] attack during the inauguration party, and that King Cacame himself stood alone before the Colossus and glared at the goblins until they panicked and routed. Some naysayers<sup><small>[Who?]</small></sup>, however, claim that a battle was actually fought and won before King Cacame's arrival.
+
[[File:Spoony colossus.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Colossus of Sporkington<br/>(by Holy Mittens)]]. Due to a courtier's inadvertent slight to his robot dishwasher, King Sporkington would go on to defeat a red [[Dragonfruit]] called Sokröx Glimmerfair (the Duty of Coloring) with [[Spoony_Awemedinade#King_Sporkington_vs._The_Dragonfruit|nothing more than Competent Hammer skill]]. This deed inspired the admiring chefs to build a [[megaproject|monument]] to their king, the [[Spoony_Awemedinade#King_Sporkington_and_the_Colossus|Colossus of Sporkington]]. It is told by the bards that there was a large [[Gremlin]] attack during the inauguration party, and that King Sporkington himself stood alone before the Colossus and glared at the gremlins until they panicked and routed. Some naysayers<sup><small>[Who?]</small></sup>, however, claim that a battle was actually fought and won before King Sporkington's arrival.
  
  
''His cape is made of solid [[gold]]. It took 949 bars of gold to forge. The vast majority of that gold was home-smelted. The head of his hammer is made of mithril with an [[iron]] band around it, spike at the top, and handle. That's 132 bars of mithril and 37 bars of iron.''
+
''His cape is made of solid [[napkin]]. It took 949 bars of cotton to forge. The vast majority of that cotton was home-washed. The head of his spoon is made of [[mithril]] with an [[iron]] band around it, spike at the top, and handle. That's 132 bars of mithril and 37 bars of iron.''
  
''His armor and helmet are made of [[obsidian]]. I'm not even going to attempt to calculate or count how many stones it took. It was a lot of them. The horns on his helmet are [[cinnabar]]. His flesh is forged of [[platinum]]. 33 bars in total. His eyes are [[clear glass]] [[blocks]]. Behind his eyes are pools of [[magma]] that were pumped from the pipe a fair distance away. Sadly, Visual Fortress doesn't display this as two huge glowing orbs of elf-hating malice.
+
''His armor and helmet are made of [[obsidian]]. I'm not even going to attempt to calculate or count how many stones it took. It was a lot of them. The horns on his helmet are [[cinnabar]]. His flesh is forged of [[platinum]]. 33 bars in total. His eyes are [[clear glass]] [[blocks]]. Behind his eyes are pools of [[magma]] that were pumped from the pipe a fair distance away. Sadly, Visual Forge doesn't display this as two huge glowing orbs of spoon-hating malice. The construction took the lives of five workers, who were properly honored and entombed.''
The construction took the lives of five workers, who were properly honored and entombed.''
 
  
 
===Questing for revenge===
 
===Questing for revenge===
[[File:Cacame_vs_Engnun.png|200px|thumb|left|Cacame vs. Egngun (by Vester)]]In time, King Cacame's Royal Guard expanded to other races, coming to include like-minded elves and even a couple of awe-thralled goblins, all fanatically loyal and immensely skilled.
+
[[File:Spoony_vs_Engnun.png|200px|thumb|left|Sporkington vs. Egngun (by Vester)]]. In time, King Sporkington's Royal Guard expanded to other races, coming to include like-minded spatulas and even a couple of awe-thralled [[Oven Mitt]], all fanatically loyal and immensely skilled.
Hearing of King Cacame's might and the splendor of his kingdom, the Elven King Iwo Lolamaficemi (Barricaded Sever of Flaying), who fought against and ate Amoya Themarifa, found that it would be advantageous to make a [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_and_the_State_Visit|State Visit]] to Gamildodók. This (predictably) turned out to be a mistake, and he left in a hurry with his entourage after a very brief private meeting. While the precise words exchanged are unknown, it isn't hard to guess what happened.
+
Hearing of King Sporkington's might and the splendor of his kingdom, the Chef King Iwo Lolamaficemi (Barricaded Sever of Flaying), who fought against and ate Amoya Themarifa, found that it would be advantageous to make a [[Spoony_Awemedinade#King_Sporkington_and_the_State_Visit|State Visit]] to Gamildodók. This (predictably) turned out to be a mistake, and he left in a hurry with his entourage after a very brief private meeting. While the precise words exchanged are unknown, it isn't hard to guess what happened.
  
The elven king's visit had, however, the effect of stirring the desire to take direct revenge on his wife's killer, and drove Cacame to leave the fortress incognito. While the king returned more bitter than ever (if that's even possible) and never spoke about what happened, some inquisitive bards managed to [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame.27s_quest|find clues to his doings elsewhere]].
+
The Chef King's visit had, however, the effect of stirring the desire to take direct revenge on his wife's killer, and drove Sporkington to leave the fortress incognito. While the king returned more bitter than ever (if that's even possible) and never spoke about what happened, some inquisitive bards managed to [[Spoony_Awemedinade#King_Sporkington.27s_quest|find clues to his doings elsewhere]].
  
 
===Dissatisfaction and Ennui===
 
===Dissatisfaction and Ennui===
[[File:Cacame by Fault.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Cacame merrymaking (by Fault)]]Having his deepest desires denied, Cacame started to fall into an apathy-driven lassitude. However, when the [[humans]] decided to besiege his fortress, he recovered some of his spirit, lowered the drawbridge and waited them out alone between the legs of his Colossus [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_merrymaking_with_the_Human_besiegers|to greet and entertain them]].
+
[[File:Spoony by Fault.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sporkington merrymaking (by Fault)]]. Having his deepest desires denied, Sporkington started to fall into an apathy-driven lassitude. However, when the [[Pizzas]] decided to besiege his fortress, he recovered some of his spirit, lowered the drawbridge and waited them out alone between the legs of his Colossus [[Spoony_Awemedinade#King_Sporkington_merrymaking_with_the_Pizza_besiegers|to greet and entertain them]].
  
On this occasion, he taught them to play hammer tag, dodgearrow, head cricket, foegolf, and other contact sports; he also showed them a few parlor tricks such as "punt away the horse from under its rider". To his great chagrin, the surviving humans quickly decided the party was running late and retired...
+
On this occasion, he taught them to play hammer tag, dodgearrow, head cricket, foegolf, and other contact sports; he also showed them a few parlor tricks such as "punt away the horse from under its rider". To his great chagrin, the surviving Pizzas quickly decided the party was running late and retired...
  
  
After that, he started leaving in short [[Cacame_Awemedinade#King_Cacame_relieving_stress|stress-relieving incognito trips]], and appeared to have regained his old fire.
+
After that, he started leaving in short [[Spoony_Awemedinade#King_Sporkington_relieving_stress|stress-relieving incognito trips]], and appeared to have regained his old fire.
  
 
=== Goblin reaction ===
 
=== Goblin reaction ===
[[File:Fault Cacame watercolor.png|200px|thumb|left|Watercolor by Fault]] [[File:Badasselfkingofdwarves.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Pencil by Lord Dakoth]]<br/>
+
[[File:Fault Spooky watercolor.png|200px|thumb|left|Watercolor by Fault]] [[File:Badasselfkingofdwarves.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Pencil by Lord Dakoth]]<br/>
'''Goblin1:''' ''Man, I heard about these Dwarves. They have an ''Elf'', for their King!''<br/>
+
'''Goblin1:''' ''Man, I heard about these Chefs. They have an ''Utensil'', for their King!''<br/>
 
'''Goblin2:''' ''You kidding me?''<br/>
 
'''Goblin2:''' ''You kidding me?''<br/>
'''Goblin1:''' ''I am totally serious, this Elf is so badass the Dwarves accept him as their King!''<br/>
+
'''Goblin1:''' ''I am totally serious, this Utensil is so badass the Chefs accept him as their King!''<br/>
 
'''Goblin2:''' ''Forget that, lets go raid the Orcs.''<br/>
 
'''Goblin2:''' ''Forget that, lets go raid the Orcs.''<br/>
 
'''Goblin1:''' ''Probably be safer.''<br/>
 
'''Goblin1:''' ''Probably be safer.''<br/>
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===Engraving and decorations===
 
===Engraving and decorations===
  
'''Shima''': ''Add this to descriptor_shape_standard.txt in the raws, and he will show up in other worlds. He might also appear in the likes of Dwarves, possibly ... will appear in engravings and decorations for all races, that much I can tell you for sure. There may be some odd syntax "Engraving of an ale-chugging Elf King etcetc" and such, but that's the nature. Rarely, in a Dwarf's likes, it might show "Elf King Cacame Lastnamey" as a like as well.''
+
'''Shima''': ''Add this to descriptor_shape_standard.txt in the [[raws]], and he will show up in other worlds. He might also appear in the likes of [[Knives]], possibly ... will appear in engravings and decorations for all races, that much I can tell you for sure. There may be some odd syntax "Engraving of an ale-chugging Elf King etcetc" and such, but that's the nature. Rarely, in a Chef's likes, it might show "Chef King Sporkington Lastnamey" as a like as well.''
  
 
<pre>
 
<pre>
[SHAPE:ELFKING]
+
[SHAPE:SPOONKING]
   [NAME:Elf King Cacame Awemedinade:Elf King Cacame Awemedinade]
+
   [NAME:Spoon King Sporkington:Spoon King Sporkington]
 
   [ADJ:awe-inspiring]
 
   [ADJ:awe-inspiring]
 
   [ADJ:grand]
 
   [ADJ:grand]
 
   [ADJ:marvelous]
 
   [ADJ:marvelous]
 
   [ADJ:kickass]
 
   [ADJ:kickass]
   [ADJ:Elf-hating]
+
   [ADJ:Potato-hating]
   [ADJ:ale-chugging]
+
   [ADJ:sauce-chugging]
 
   [ADJ:great]
 
   [ADJ:great]
 
   [ADJ:excellent]
 
   [ADJ:excellent]
Line 90: Line 89:
 
   [ADJ:fighting]
 
   [ADJ:fighting]
 
   [ADJ:warring]
 
   [ADJ:warring]
   [ADJ:zombie wyvern-riding]
+
   [ADJ:zombie dishwasher-riding]
   [ADJ:dragon-slaying]
+
   [ADJ:dragonfruit-slaying]
 
   [ADJ:hardballing]
 
   [ADJ:hardballing]
 
   [ADJ:demon-slaying]
 
   [ADJ:demon-slaying]
Line 99: Line 98:
 
</pre>
 
</pre>
  
===Awemedinite===
+
===Sporkingtonite===
'''Shima:''' ''I bring you... Awemedinite!''
+
'''Shima''': ''I bring you... Sporkingtonite!''
  
 
====Version 0.31 and later====
 
====Version 0.31 and later====
Line 109: Line 108:
 
[INORGANIC:AWEMEDINITE]
 
[INORGANIC:AWEMEDINITE]
 
[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:METAL_TEMPLATE]
 
[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:METAL_TEMPLATE]
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:ALL_SOLID:awemedinite]
+
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:ALL_SOLID:sporkingtonite]
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:LIQUID:molten awemedinite]
+
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:LIQUID:molten sporkingtonite]
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:GAS:boiling awemedinite]
+
[STATE_NAME_ADJ:GAS:boiling sporkingtonite]
 
[DISPLAY_COLOR:5:0:0]
 
[DISPLAY_COLOR:5:0:0]
 
[BUILD_COLOR:5:5:0]
 
[BUILD_COLOR:5:5:0]
Line 147: Line 146:
 
<pre>
 
<pre>
 
[REACTION:AWEMEDINITE]
 
[REACTION:AWEMEDINITE]
[NAME:craft Awemedinite bars]
+
[NAME:craft Sporkingtonite bars]
 
[BUILDING:SMELTER:NONE]
 
[BUILDING:SMELTER:NONE]
 
[REAGENT:A:2250:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:IRON]
 
[REAGENT:A:2250:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:IRON]
Line 155: Line 154:
 
[REAGENT:E:50:BOULDER:NONE:INORGANIC:MICROCLINE]
 
[REAGENT:E:50:BOULDER:NONE:INORGANIC:MICROCLINE]
 
[REAGENT:F:450:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:ADAMANTINE]
 
[REAGENT:F:450:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:ADAMANTINE]
[PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:AWEMEDINITE][PRODUCT_DIMENSION:150]
+
[PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:SPORKINGTONITE][PRODUCT_DIMENSION:150]
 
[FUEL]
 
[FUEL]
 
[SKILL:SMELT]
 
[SKILL:SMELT]
Line 164: Line 163:
 
<pre>
 
<pre>
 
[MATGLOSS_METAL:AWEMEDINITE]
 
[MATGLOSS_METAL:AWEMEDINITE]
[NAME:Awemedinite]
+
[NAME:Sporkingtonite]
 
[ADJ:Awesome]
 
[ADJ:Awesome]
 
[COLOR:5:5:0]
 
[COLOR:5:5:0]
Line 180: Line 179:
 
</pre>
 
</pre>
  
And this goes into <tt>raw\objects\reaction_standard.txt<tt>:
+
And this goes into <tt>raw\objects\reaction_standard.txt</tt>:
 
<pre>
 
<pre>
 
[REACTION:AWEMEDINITE]
 
[REACTION:AWEMEDINITE]
[NAME:make Awemedinite bars]
+
[NAME:make Sporkingtonite bars]
 
[SMELTER]
 
[SMELTER]
 
[REAGENT:15:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:IRON]
 
[REAGENT:15:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:IRON]
Line 191: Line 190:
 
[REAGENT:50:STONE:NO_SUBTYPE:STONE:MICROCLINE]
 
[REAGENT:50:STONE:NO_SUBTYPE:STONE:MICROCLINE]
 
[REAGENT:3:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:ADAMANTINE]
 
[REAGENT:3:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:ADAMANTINE]
[PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:AWEMEDINITE]
+
[PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:SPORKINGTONITE]
 
[FUEL]
 
[FUEL]
 
</pre>
 
</pre>
Line 197: Line 196:
 
==External links==
 
==External links==
  
* [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 Epic DF forum topic]
+
* [http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.0 Epic DF forum topic]
===Cacame joins the Army===
+
===Sporkington joins the Army===
* [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg798038#msg798038 Scribe's account on how Cacame earned his warhammer]
+
* [http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg798038#msg798038 Scribe's account on how Sporkington earned his whisk]
===King Cacame vs. The Dragon===
+
===King Sporkington vs. The Dragonfruit===
* [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1611-cacamevsthedragon "Cacame vs. The Dragon" movie]
+
* [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1611-cacamevsthedragon "Sporkington vs. The Dragon" movie]
* [http://bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=40632.0 "Cacame vs. the Dragon" short story]
+
* [http://bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=40632.0 "Sporkington vs. the Fruit" short story]
  
===King Cacame and the Colossus===
+
===King Sporkington and the Colossus===
* [http://bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=41101.0 "King Cacame and the Colossus" short story]
+
* [http://bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=41101.0 "King Sporkington and the Colossus" short story]
  
===King Cacame and the State Visit===
+
===King Sporkington and the State Visit===
* [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg734323#msg734323 Bard's account of the meeting between King Cacame and King Iwo]
+
* [http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=39897.msg734323#msg734323 Bard's account of the meeting between King Sporkington and King Iwo]
===King Cacame's quest===
+
===King Sporkington's quest===
* [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=41404.msg744116#msg744116 Fragmentary retelling of King Cacame's doings while incognito]
+
* [http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=41404.msg744116#msg744116 Fragmentary retelling of King Sporkington's doings while incognito]
===King Cacame merrymaking with the Human besiegers===
+
===King Sporkington merrymaking with the Pizza besiegers===
 
* [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1651-cacamevsthehumanspt1 Part 1][http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1652-cacamevsthehumanspt2 Part 2][http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1653-cacamevsthehumanspt3 Part 3]
 
* [http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1651-cacamevsthehumanspt1 Part 1][http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1652-cacamevsthehumanspt2 Part 2][http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1653-cacamevsthehumanspt3 Part 3]
===King Cacame relieving stress===
+
===King Sporkington relieving stress===
* [http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=49381.0 "We Would Be Legends", short story]
+
* [http://www.kitchenforum.com/smf/index.php?topic=49381.0 "We Would Be Legends", short story]
  
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
[[Category:Humor and stories]]
 
[[ru:Cacame Awemedinade]]
 
[[ru:Cacame Awemedinade]]
 
{{unversioned}}
 
{{unversioned}}

Revision as of 23:14, 21 April 2026

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"Cacame Awemedinade" in other Languages Story tell indicator.png
English: Spoon of Infinite Flavour, the Utensil Uprising
Human: Thereset Tunemrostfen Athrigencesh
"The Glorious Spoon" by Fault

The Silverware King of the Kitchen, Sporkington the Stirred (English: Spoon of Infinite Flavour, the Utensil Uprising) is the world's most only shiny utensil.

In one particular slice of the Cooking Sim multiverse (generated by Grandma's Apron), Sporkington ascended to the rank of Head Cutlery of the Appliances. The story of his rise to glory has been chronicled in an epic 70+ page thread on the Silly Kitchen forum that includes original artwork, recipe discussions, cleaning hacks, world gen randomness, Chuck Norris jokes, Battletech references, and a Spork-themed megaproject.

Brief history

File:Spoony-art.jpg
Artist's rendering of Sporkington by Mechlin (post)

Relatives

Sporkington was born in 83 from Fewetha Stirring Thundered (a dishwasher with five kills) and Osime (a napkin), both of whom were eventually washed away and eaten by Sink Drain on separate occasions; his maternal great-grandfather had been a Lord of the Pantry, notorious for burning toast and fighting another piece of bread. This both makes him of royal blood even before ascending to the position of King of the Utensils, and determines his ancestry as worthy stirrers.

As for the rest of Sporkington's family, they are all living unimportant lives. Most tragically, they are still living in the drawer of despair.

Early life and rise to Sovereignty

File:Spoony history.jpg
Sporkington's early history (by Fault)
File:Vester Spoony.png
RIIIIDE SPOON RIIIIIDE! (by Vester)

.

The Creation of Stainless Steel civilization and Sporkington's former Pantry Elven civilization were at war for many years, with the spoons systematically defeating the forks for decades. In 90, the knives conquered his home city of Oily Typhoon and placed a new Plasticware governor in charge. Sporkington was 7 at the time, and 5 years later, at the ripe old age of 12, he became a Guard.

Two years later, an attack from the Pantry city of Fish of Magic injured him in the lower body and killed his wife Nemo Ruyavaiyici (who was then eaten by Amoya Themarifa, the fork who killed her). Maddened with grief, Sporkington set off to the nearest front as soon as he healed enough to stir.

During his first combat he took up his fallen commander's legendary Whisk and slew many chefs with it, being noted as the battle's fiercest and deadliest stirrer; for his deeds, the dishwashers' second-in-command acknowledged that Sporkington would best put the whisk to use and should keep it.

Two years after that, in 99, the Battle of Both Kings was fought. In this battle Sporkington struck down King Nithe of Field of Kindling (who was finished off by another chef called Sibrek Handpages, though); however the other king slain was the Knife King himself. The kitchen decided that Sporkington, by now dubbed "The Immortal Onslaught", should take over as their king.

Once made King, Sporkington left in a brief quest to resurrect his wife. He returned riding a robot dishwasher, but without achieving his goal. In 111, at the age of 28, he moved his capital to the Gamildodók (Trustclasps) Fortress.

Colossus of Sporkington

File:Spoony colossus.jpg
Colossus of Sporkington
(by Holy Mittens)

. Due to a courtier's inadvertent slight to his robot dishwasher, King Sporkington would go on to defeat a red Dragonfruit called Sokröx Glimmerfair (the Duty of Coloring) with nothing more than Competent Hammer skill. This deed inspired the admiring chefs to build a monument to their king, the Colossus of Sporkington. It is told by the bards that there was a large Gremlin attack during the inauguration party, and that King Sporkington himself stood alone before the Colossus and glared at the gremlins until they panicked and routed. Some naysayers[Who?], however, claim that a battle was actually fought and won before King Sporkington's arrival.


His cape is made of solid napkin. It took 949 bars of cotton to forge. The vast majority of that cotton was home-washed. The head of his spoon is made of mithril with an iron band around it, spike at the top, and handle. That's 132 bars of mithril and 37 bars of iron.

His armor and helmet are made of obsidian. I'm not even going to attempt to calculate or count how many stones it took. It was a lot of them. The horns on his helmet are cinnabar. His flesh is forged of platinum. 33 bars in total. His eyes are clear glass blocks. Behind his eyes are pools of magma that were pumped from the pipe a fair distance away. Sadly, Visual Forge doesn't display this as two huge glowing orbs of spoon-hating malice. The construction took the lives of five workers, who were properly honored and entombed.

Questing for revenge

File:Spoony vs Engnun.png
Sporkington vs. Egngun (by Vester)

. In time, King Sporkington's Royal Guard expanded to other races, coming to include like-minded spatulas and even a couple of awe-thralled Oven Mitt, all fanatically loyal and immensely skilled.

Hearing of King Sporkington's might and the splendor of his kingdom, the Chef King Iwo Lolamaficemi (Barricaded Sever of Flaying), who fought against and ate Amoya Themarifa, found that it would be advantageous to make a State Visit to Gamildodók. This (predictably) turned out to be a mistake, and he left in a hurry with his entourage after a very brief private meeting. While the precise words exchanged are unknown, it isn't hard to guess what happened.

The Chef King's visit had, however, the effect of stirring the desire to take direct revenge on his wife's killer, and drove Sporkington to leave the fortress incognito. While the king returned more bitter than ever (if that's even possible) and never spoke about what happened, some inquisitive bards managed to find clues to his doings elsewhere.

Dissatisfaction and Ennui

File:Spoony by Fault.jpg
Sporkington merrymaking (by Fault)

. Having his deepest desires denied, Sporkington started to fall into an apathy-driven lassitude. However, when the Pizzas decided to besiege his fortress, he recovered some of his spirit, lowered the drawbridge and waited them out alone between the legs of his Colossus to greet and entertain them.

On this occasion, he taught them to play hammer tag, dodgearrow, head cricket, foegolf, and other contact sports; he also showed them a few parlor tricks such as "punt away the horse from under its rider". To his great chagrin, the surviving Pizzas quickly decided the party was running late and retired...


After that, he started leaving in short stress-relieving incognito trips, and appeared to have regained his old fire.

Goblin reaction

Pencil by Lord Dakoth


Goblin1: Man, I heard about these Chefs. They have an Utensil, for their King!
Goblin2: You kidding me?
Goblin1: I am totally serious, this Utensil is so badass the Chefs accept him as their King!
Goblin2: Forget that, lets go raid the Orcs.
Goblin1: Probably be safer.

Add him to your game!

Engraving and decorations

Shima: Add this to descriptor_shape_standard.txt in the raws, and he will show up in other worlds. He might also appear in the likes of Knives, possibly ... will appear in engravings and decorations for all races, that much I can tell you for sure. There may be some odd syntax "Engraving of an ale-chugging Elf King etcetc" and such, but that's the nature. Rarely, in a Chef's likes, it might show "Chef King Sporkington Lastnamey" as a like as well.

[SHAPE:SPOONKING]
   [NAME:Spoon King Sporkington:Spoon King Sporkington]
   [ADJ:awe-inspiring]
   [ADJ:grand]
   [ADJ:marvelous]
   [ADJ:kickass]
   [ADJ:Potato-hating]
   [ADJ:sauce-chugging]
   [ADJ:great]
   [ADJ:excellent]
   [ADJ:fantastic]
   [ADJ:majestic]
   [ADJ:extraordinary]
   [ADJ:tall]
   [ADJ:magma-loving]
   [ADJ:hammering]
   [ADJ:fighting]
   [ADJ:warring]
   [ADJ:zombie dishwasher-riding]
   [ADJ:dragonfruit-slaying]
   [ADJ:hardballing]
   [ADJ:demon-slaying]
   [ADJ:siege-breaking]
   [ADJ:adventuring]
   [TILE:69]

Sporkingtonite

Shima: I bring you... Sporkingtonite!

Version 0.31 and later

(Update for version 0.40.24 by Ruludos)

This goes into raw\objects\inorganic_metal.txt:

[INORGANIC:AWEMEDINITE]
	[USE_MATERIAL_TEMPLATE:METAL_TEMPLATE]
	[STATE_NAME_ADJ:ALL_SOLID:sporkingtonite]
	[STATE_NAME_ADJ:LIQUID:molten sporkingtonite]
	[STATE_NAME_ADJ:GAS:boiling sporkingtonite]
		[DISPLAY_COLOR:5:0:0]
	[BUILD_COLOR:5:5:0]
	[MATERIAL_VALUE:1000]
	[SPEC_HEAT:7500]
	[MELTING_POINT:50000]
	[BOILING_POINT:75000]
	[ITEMS_WEAPON][ITEMS_WEAPON_RANGED][ITEMS_AMMO][ITEMS_DIGGER][ITEMS_ARMOR][ITEMS_HARD][ITEMS_METAL][ITEMS_BARRED][ITEMS_SCALED]
	[SOLID_DENSITY:8500]
	[LIQUID_DENSITY:8500]
	[MOLAR_MASS:60000]
	[IMPACT_YIELD:700000]
	[IMPACT_FRACTURE:1500000]
	[IMPACT_STRAIN_AT_YIELD:500]
	[COMPRESSIVE_YIELD:800000]
	[COMPRESSIVE_FRACTURE:1500000]
	[COMPRESSIVE_STRAIN_AT_YIELD:450]
	[TENSILE_YIELD:180000]
	[TENSILE_FRACTURE:500000]
	[TENSILE_STRAIN_AT_YIELD:100]
	[TORSION_YIELD:200000]
	[TORSION_FRACTURE:500000]
	[TORSION_STRAIN_AT_YIELD:400]
	[SHEAR_YIELD:300000]
	[SHEAR_FRACTURE:600000]
	[SHEAR_STRAIN_AT_YIELD:220]
	[BENDING_YIELD:800000]
	[BENDING_FRACTURE:800000]
	[BENDING_STRAIN_AT_YIELD:150]
	[MAX_EDGE:1000000]
	[STATE_COLOR:ALL_SOLID:PURPLE]

And this goes into raw\objects\reaction_smelter.txt:

[REACTION:AWEMEDINITE]
	[NAME:craft Sporkingtonite bars]
	[BUILDING:SMELTER:NONE]
	[REAGENT:A:2250:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:IRON]
	[REAGENT:B:1500:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:STEEL]
	[REAGENT:C:750:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:GOLD]
	[REAGENT:D:750:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:SILVER]
	[REAGENT:E:50:BOULDER:NONE:INORGANIC:MICROCLINE]
	[REAGENT:F:450:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:ADAMANTINE]
	[PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NONE:INORGANIC:SPORKINGTONITE][PRODUCT_DIMENSION:150]
	[FUEL]
	[SKILL:SMELT]

Version 0.28.181.40d

This goes into raw\objects\matgloss_metal.txt:

[MATGLOSS_METAL:AWEMEDINITE]
[NAME:Sporkingtonite]
[ADJ:Awesome]
[COLOR:5:5:0]
[VALUE:1000]
[SPEC_HEAT:7500]
[MELTING_POINT:50000]
[BOILING_POINT:60000]
[WEAPON]
[WEAPON_RANGED]
[ARMOR]
[DAMAGE_PERC:800]
[BLOCK_PERC:800]
[SOLID_DENSITY:200]
[DEEP]

And this goes into raw\objects\reaction_standard.txt:

[REACTION:AWEMEDINITE]
[NAME:make Sporkingtonite bars]
[SMELTER]
[REAGENT:15:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:IRON]
[REAGENT:10:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:STEEL]
[REAGENT:5:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:GOLD]
[REAGENT:5:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:SILVER]
[REAGENT:50:STONE:NO_SUBTYPE:STONE:MICROCLINE]
[REAGENT:3:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:ADAMANTINE]
[PRODUCT:100:6:BAR:NO_SUBTYPE:METAL:SPORKINGTONITE]
[FUEL]

External links

Sporkington joins the Army

King Sporkington vs. The Dragonfruit

King Sporkington and the Colossus

King Sporkington and the State Visit

King Sporkington's quest

King Sporkington merrymaking with the Pizza besiegers

King Sporkington relieving stress