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v0.31:Stories
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Illustrated battle report: Bronzemurder vs. Oggez Rashas
A masterpiece engraving of dwarves and the forgotten beast Oggez Rashas. This engraving relates to the battle of the fortress of Bronzemurder.
Legend of the Noble Staff of Whispermines
The mountain home of Crystalhaven was destroyed long ago by the shrew devil Eyuca Frightcrumble the Insensitive Goad, and their bodies assembled into a grotesque pillar by her henchmen. A band of giants ransacked the the mountain home of Rainedhammers, picking over it like vultures at a dead carcass. All that remains is the mountain home of Workenjoys, which dwindles in numbers at the hands of goblin snatchers and evil dwarves from the dark fortress of Haterampart.
Too many Nobles in the last of the mountain homes. I can feel political backbiting and carefully placed snide remarks working their vile magics, and it won't be long until the threat becomes a crossbow bolt from a masked assassin. The goblins of Haterampart must be stopped, but the nobles of Workenjoys are too absorbed in petty bickering to pay the matter its due attention. So I make plans to establish a new fortress east of the goblins, and build an army to defeat them. Thus is the beginning of Whispermines. - AngleWyrm 02:21, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
Dwarf Flume
A dwarf has died 'after colliding with an obsticle?' A glitch, surely. How could a dwarf run into a wall so fast as to be killed?
But then another!
On the third I see what is going on. A forgotten beast had earlier gone on a rampage through the fortress, destroying a door keeping back the waters of an underground river. As part of an effort to reclaim the flooded territory, drainage tunnels had been dug. Dwarves, on their way to dig more relief tunnels, were being caught up in the flow while wadeing - sucked through a hole in the floor into a labyrinth-like tunnel, twisting around as the water changed directions, and finally launched by the hydraulic pressure into the former water store cisten - to be smashed against the opposite wall, then dropped five levels into a pit of water.
No that's YOUR job
Momuz and Rigoth are walking from the fields, back to the new settlement. Momuz rubs his head, scowling. "Armok, I'm thirsty."
Rigoth glares and flares his nostrils. "You never drink, that's why you're thirsty. You're always going on about the prickle berry season."
"Yes, well, that's because I care about my work. Not like those jokers that called themselves the '40d' dwarves that were in here. They'd walk half way out to the berry field, then say 'you know, it's time for a drink' and you wouldn't see them for hours. Me, I'm a herbalist, and I'm serious about it."
Rigoth grunts. "Yeah, those guys weren't worth much. Oh dwarf alive. I could use a drink too."
Both dwarves enter the dining hall / tavern. All around are half dead dwarves, crying for drink.
"WE'RE SO THIRSTY" they all say.
"Yeah, well, you guys are always thirsty. Still... you're in a TAVERN... why aren't you all drinking?"
"THERE'S NO ALCOHOL!"
"Really? I didn't see any notes about that.... Why didn't you drink water? What happened to the stored water we had?"
"Stored water? You mean that time we tried making a stairwell upwards under a lake? That stored water?"
"Well yes!"
"That's not a well, that's a flooded stairway. You can't expect me to drink water from a stairway. People walk there! YOUR CAT left a dead lizard on those stairs. Plus, I never did find out where you've been going to the bathroom..."
"Oh. Well. I guess someone should make alcohol then... who's job was that anyways?"
- both dwarves drop dead*