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User:JT/Threat
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Since a lot of trolling slipped into the threat.txt mod page on the Wiki but I'm remiss to remove them entirely because frankly some people might like the off-colour humour, I thought I'd go ahead and create my own subpage containing my preferred threat.txt layout.
I've done a lot of threat.txt modding over the years but I think I've finally come to version I actually like.
Since I need to be truthful in advertising (what kind of person would I be to create a subpage titled "threat" that doesn't actually threaten anyone?)... if you attempt to edit this page, I will know, I will find you, and I will hurt you.
Accept your fate! Are you yet afraid? If not, you will be! Battle awaits! Behind my thunderous roar, you will utter but a dying whisper! Come! I am waiting! Cower before my might and I might just crush you quickly! Cry, for now you end! Death now looms for you! Die. Die! DIE! Do you not see? You are dead already! Draw! Drop your weapons and await your fate! Embrace the end that awaits you! Fool! Perish at my hand! Give in to darkness and despair! I am destined to be your last foe! I am going to split you like a ripe melon! I damn you to oblivion! I decree that you are to die! I shall delight in watching the life fade from your cold, glassy eyes! I shall delight in your torture! I shall devour your heart! I shall feast on your entrails! I shall flatten you! I shall impale you on a pike and watch you whimper as I dine! I shall quarter you like a small gamefowl! I shall show you final justice! I shall strike you down! I will drink from your skull! I will not be gentle! I will tear you limb from limb! I will wear your face as a mask! It is already over; stand still and embrace death! It's time to suffer! Kneel before your god! Let us match weapons and make the sound of thunder! Perhaps I shall refer to you as a worthy foe when next a fool challenges me! Perhaps you will be a worthy prey! Perhaps you will live if you flee now! Praise me, for I am now your god! Pray to your maker! Pray while you still can! Prepare for battle! Prepare to die! Prove your worthiness to fight me! Relax! This will be over very soon! Scream now, for soon you will be unable to speak! Show me the color of your blood! Show me your mettle! Squeal, whimper, gasp, and die! Stand ready! Stand ready! I will not go easy on you! Submit to the cold embrace of death! The blackness will take you! There is no escape! This will end badly for you! To arms! With your death, I shall grow even stronger! You are now but a footnote of my greatness! You DARE challenge me?! You have already made your final mistake! You have been doled a death sentence! You have not felt suffering yet! You may flee now! I will enjoy the sport! You will be proud to die at my hands! You will beg for death before I am done! You will know nothing but terror when I am through! You will know only pain! Your blood shall be spilled this day! Your body will fall like a limp bag! Your bones will be my dinner! Your fear sustains me! Your god has foresaken you! Worship me! Worship your death! Your head affronts me! I shall remove it for you! Your head will hang on my wall! Your heartbeat is agony to my ears, and soon will be stopped! Your life belongs to me! Your tale ends here!