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23a:Department of Dwarven Veteran's Affairs
| This article is about an older version of DF. |
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This article or section has been rated D for Dwarf. It may include witty humour, not-so-witty humour, bad humour, in-jokes, pop culture references, and references to the Bay12 forums. Don't believe everything you read, and if you miss some of the references, don't worry. It was inevitable. |
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The Department of Dwarven Veteran's Affairs (also known as the Fortress/Royal Guard), is an organisation dedicated to helping those brave dwarves that have become injured to the point of combat ineffectiveness, and are also relatively unskilled (so putting them into the Craftsdwarf's workshop to make +goblin bone bolts+ until the end of time is out of the question). They are usually relieved of promoted up from their military duties due to some snooty noble turning up and wanting to be all protected (until, of course, said noble makes one-too-many demands and find themselves in the dwarven departure lounge).
These dwarves who have sustained their injuries in whatever way, whether through physical combat, creative excavation, sparring matches, goblin snipers, hippies, wildlife, or otherwise, may be promoted through the military menu.
The fortress guard itself doesn't do much, apart from telling the various nobles that they are not in danger of assassination, assisting the Sheriff (now Captain of the Guard) in abusing citizens' rights, and spending all their spare time brawling. The sparring can be a problem, in that some dwarf who may have otherwise made a speedy recovery (you know the ones) manages to train himself up to an elite level, which prohibits his removal from the payrolls of DDVA. Thus, active dwarves that can spend their time better pulling levers are now only assisting with some engraver who is too busy smashing something other than a bridge over a chasm.
The Royal guard similarly has few real responsibilities - while their official function is to assure the tax collector that the citizens won't lynch him (and also to claim some "taxes" for themselves in the process), they spend most of their time sparring with the Fortress guards.