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Difference between revisions of "Person"

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(→‎One attempt to narrow it down and sort it: fairy/pixie just as immortal as the others)
m (Categorized, moved civ creatures higher in the sorted list)
Line 7: Line 7:
 
{| class="wikitable sortable"
 
{| class="wikitable sortable"
 
|-
 
|-
! Creature !! Doors !! †Pain !! Learns !! Speaks !! Civ/Hero !! Pets !! Spits !! †Child !! †MaxAge !! Rifts
+
! Creature !! Doors !! †Pain !! Learns !! Speaks !! Civ/Hero !! Pets !! Spits !! †Child !! †MaxAge !! Notes
 
|-
 
|-
 
| [[Dwarf]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 150-170 ||  
 
| [[Dwarf]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 150-170 ||  
Line 122: Line 122:
 
* Child: How many years of childhood this creature has. ("n/a" indicates they begin life as adults)
 
* Child: How many years of childhood this creature has. ("n/a" indicates they begin life as adults)
 
* MaxAge: The range of years this creature can expect to live if not killed beforehand.
 
* MaxAge: The range of years this creature can expect to live if not killed beforehand.
* Rifts: These are qualities that make this creature less like us.
+
* Notes: These are qualities that make this creature less like us.
  
 
'''†''' Not an exhaustive list of creatures that can feel pain / have childhoods / are mortal.
 
'''†''' Not an exhaustive list of creatures that can feel pain / have childhoods / are mortal.
Line 137: Line 137:
 
|+ Reduced chart roughly-sorted by how person-like a creature is
 
|+ Reduced chart roughly-sorted by how person-like a creature is
 
|-
 
|-
! Creature !! †Doors !! †Pain !! Learns !! Speaks !! Civ/Hero !! Pets !! †Spits !! †Child !! †MaxAge !! Rifts
+
! Creature !! †Doors !! †Pain !! Learns !! Speaks !! Civ/Hero !! Pets !! †Spits !! †Child !! †MaxAge !! Notes
 
|-
 
|-
 +
| [[Human]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 60-120 ||
 +
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 
| [[Dwarf]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 150-170 ||  
 
| [[Dwarf]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 150-170 ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Gorlak]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Heroes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 12 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 110-150 ||  
 
| [[Gorlak]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Heroes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 12 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 110-150 ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
| [[Human]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 60-120 ||
+
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 
 
| [[Amphibian man|Amphibian Man]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ ||  ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"| 12 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 60-80 ||  
 
| [[Amphibian man|Amphibian Man]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ ||  ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"| 12 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 60-80 ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
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|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Ant man|Ant Man]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ ||  ||  || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#cfc"| 5-8 ||  
 
| [[Ant man|Ant Man]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ ||  ||  || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#cfc"| 5-8 ||  
 +
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 +
| [[Elf]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal ||
 +
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 +
| [[Goblin]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal ||
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Kobold]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#fcc"| [[Creature token#UTTERANCES|Utterances]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 150-170 ||  
 
| [[Kobold]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#fcc"| [[Creature token#UTTERANCES|Utterances]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 150-170 ||  
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|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Troll]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Slowly || style="background-color:#fcc"| No ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"| 10 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 800-1000 ||  
 
| [[Troll]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Slowly || style="background-color:#fcc"| No ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"| 10 || style="background-color:#cfc"| 800-1000 ||  
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 
| [[Elf]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal ||
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 
| [[Goblin]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Civ || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal ||
 
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Cyclops]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| [[Semi-megabeast|Semi-Mega Beast]]
 
| [[Cyclops]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| [[Semi-megabeast|Semi-Mega Beast]]
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|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Giant]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Slowly || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| Semi-Mega Beast
 
| [[Giant]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Slowly || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| Semi-Mega Beast
 +
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 +
| [[Satyr]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| [[Creature token#PETVALUE|Pet Value]]: 250☼
 +
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 +
| [[Foul blendec|Foul Blendec]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| Pet Value: 250☼
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Fairy]] || style="background-color:#fcc"| No || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| Pet Value: 10☼
 
| [[Fairy]] || style="background-color:#fcc"| No || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"| 18 || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| Pet Value: 10☼
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|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Harpy]] || style="background-color:#fcc"| No || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 1 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| Pet Value: 30☼
 
| [[Harpy]] || style="background-color:#fcc"| No || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"| 1 || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| Pet Value: 30☼
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 
| [[Satyr]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| [[Creature token#PETVALUE|Pet Value]]: 250☼
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||
 
| [[Foul blendec|Foul Blendec]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal || style="background-color:#fcc"| Pet Value: 250☼
 
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
|- ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  ||  
 
| [[Blizzard man|Blizzard Man]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Perhaps || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Slowly || style="background-color:#fcc"| No ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal ||  
 
| [[Blizzard man|Blizzard Man]] || style="background-color:#cfc"|  Yes || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Perhaps || style="background-color:#ffc"|  Slowly || style="background-color:#fcc"| No ||  ||  ||  || style="background-color:#fcc"| n/a || style="background-color:#fcc"| immortal ||  
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|-
 
|-
 
|}
 
|}
 +
[[Category:Humanoids]]
 +
[[Category:Creature attributes]]

Revision as of 01:23, 14 October 2024

An abstract painting of a person by Id Kogan

Personhood is the state of being a person. Defining personhood is a controversial topic in philosophy and law, and is closely tied to concepts of citizenship, equality, and liberty. According to common legal practice, only a person has rights, protections, privileges, responsibilities, and legal liability. Personhood continues to be a topic of debate, and has been questioned during the abolition of plump helmet man farming, in the fight for animal person rights, and in kobold-rights advocacy.

The criteria for being a person… are designed to capture those attributes which are the subject of our most dwarvane concern with ourselves and the source of what we regard as most important and most problematical in our lives. -Geshud Imush

The defining features of personhood and, what makes a person as a person, differ widely among cultures and contexts. To determine if someone or something is a person, we must first look towards ourselves and ask, "What makes a dwarf a person, and what distinguishes us from the beasts?" So, what are some features of a dwarf? A dwarf can open doors, can feel pain, can learn, can speak, can join civilizations, can pet animals, can spit, have a childhood, and grow old and die. Although none of these characteristics on their own may be the defining characteristic of a person, they can be used to look for trends and compare and contrast ourselves with other creatures as a starting point for a determination.

Creature Doors †Pain Learns Speaks Civ/Hero Pets Spits †Child †MaxAge Notes
Dwarf Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 150-170
Human Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 60-120
Elf Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 immortal
Goblin Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 immortal
Kobold Yes Yes Yes Utterances Civ Yes Yes 18 150-170
Gremlin Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 800-1000 Exotic Pet
Troll Yes Yes Slowly No 10 800-1000
Ogre Yes Yes Slowly No 10 20-30
Satyr Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes n/a immortal Pet Value: 250☼
Bronze Colossus Yes No No No n/a immortal Mega Beast
Giant Yes Yes Slowly Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Cyclops Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Ettin Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Minotaur Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Yeti Yes Yes No No 10 800-1000
Sasquatch Yes Yes No No 10 800-1000
Blizzard Man Yes Perhaps Slowly No n/a immortal
Fairy No Yes Yes Yes 18 n/a Pet Value: 10☼
Pixie No Yes Yes Yes 18 n/a Pet Value: 10☼
Grimeling Yes No No No n/a immortal
Foul Blendec Yes Yes Yes Yes n/a immortal Pet Value: 250☼
Nightwing Yes No Yes No n/a immortal Pet Value: 1000☼
Harpy No Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 1 immortal Pet Value: 30☼
Merperson Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 60-120
Mountain Gnome No Yes Yes No Yes Yes 20 230-250
Dark Gnome No Yes Yes No Yes Yes 20 230-250
Blind Cave Ogre Yes Yes Slowly No 10 20-30 Pet Value: 500☼
Magma Crab No Yes No No Yes n/a 50-70 Pet Value: 200☼
Blood Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Molemarian Yes No No No 10 20-30 Pet Value: 400☼
Gabbro Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Gorlak Yes Yes Yes Yes Heroes Yes Yes 12 110-150
Plump Helmet Man Yes Perhaps Yes No Heroes 12 60-80
Amethyst Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Troglodyte Yes Yes Slowly No 10 45-90
Fire Imp Yes Yes No No n/a immortal
Cave Fish Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes n/a 60-80
Olm Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes n/a 60-80
Bat Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes n/a 20-30
Fire Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Magma Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Iron Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Mud Man Yes No No No n/a immortal
Cave Swallow Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes 1 20-30
Amphibian Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ 12 60-80
Reptile Man Yes Yes Yes With a Lisp Civ 12 60-80
Serpent Man Yes Yes Yes With a Lisp Civ 12 60-80
Ant Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ n/a 5-8
Rodent Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ 12 60-80
Animal Persons Yes ‡Mostly Yes Yes Heroes Yes 0-10§ 60-80

Legend:

  • Doors: CanOpenDoors
  • Pain: Yes = Has_Nerves (but not "NoPain"). No = Feels NoPain. Perhaps = neither.
  • Learns: Can_Learn or Intelligent
  • Speaks: Can_Speak or Intelligent
  • Civ/Hero: Species belongs to a civilization or is capable of joining one
  • Pets: Can pet an animal
  • Spits: Is able to spit
  • Child: How many years of childhood this creature has. ("n/a" indicates they begin life as adults)
  • MaxAge: The range of years this creature can expect to live if not killed beforehand.
  • Notes: These are qualities that make this creature less like us.

Not an exhaustive list of creatures that can feel pain / have childhoods / are mortal.

All animal people can feel pain except for these 3: Bark Scorpion Man, Jumping Spider Man, and Brown Recluse Spider Man

§ - Roughly one-third of animal people are born as adults. Approximately two-thirds have 1 year of childhood. But a few go as high as 10 years.

One attempt to narrow it down and sort it

The ability to open a door is a rough starting point, but it mostly captures the broadest sense of who could possibly be considered to be a person. Since the Bronze Colosses, Grimeling, Blood Man, Gabbro Man, Amethyst Man, Fire Man, Magma Man, Iron Man, and Mud Man's only claim to personhood is being able to open a door, and they are all unable to feel, unable to learn and hold values, unable to speak, were never a child, and have an indefinite life span, it might be safe to rule them out. The creature with the next least qualifications is the Fire Imp, with the only being able to feel pain as an additional quality of personhood over the various man-shaped elemental creatures, so it might be safe to rule out too. And since the Magma Crab's only claim over other beasts is the ability to spit, it's probably safe to rule it out too. The Molemarian is similar to the Magma Crab in that it only has 1 ability over normal animals that make it more person-like. Maybe one day the Molemarian will grow to become a person, but I don't think it is there quite yet. Next on the list is the Yeti and Sasquatch, which are just like the Molemarian except with the addition to being able to feel pain. While they are closer than the Molemarian, I also don't think they quite meet the standard. The Nightwing only meets 2 of the qualities on the chart, but one of them is the ability to learn, which should probably be weighted higher than the others, so I'm leaving it on, at least for now. Finally, I try to rank the creatures from most-person-like to least-person-like instead of listing them all in relative order, which is a bit troublesome and subjective.

Reduced chart roughly-sorted by how person-like a creature is
Creature †Doors †Pain Learns Speaks Civ/Hero Pets †Spits †Child †MaxAge Notes
Human Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 60-120
Dwarf Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 150-170
Gorlak Yes Yes Yes Yes Heroes Yes Yes 12 110-150
Amphibian Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ 12 60-80
Reptile Man Yes Yes Yes With a Lisp Civ 12 60-80
Rodent Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ 12 60-80
Serpent Man Yes Yes Yes With a Lisp Civ 12 60-80
Cave Swallow Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes 1 20-30
Animal Persons Yes ‡Mostly Yes Yes Heroes Yes 0-10§ 60-80
Merperson Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 60-120
Gremlin Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 800-1000 Exotic Pet
Cave Fish Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes n/a 60-80
Olm Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes n/a 60-80
Bat Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Both Yes n/a 20-30
Ant Man Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ n/a 5-8
Elf Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 immortal
Goblin Yes Yes Yes Yes Civ Yes Yes 18 immortal
Kobold Yes Yes Yes Utterances Civ Yes Yes 18 150-170
Plump Helmet Man Yes Perhaps Yes No Heroes 12 60-80
Mountain Gnome No Yes Yes No Yes Yes 20 230-250
Dark Gnome No Yes Yes No Yes Yes 20 230-250
Troglodyte Yes Yes Slowly No 10 45-90
Blind Cave Ogre Yes Yes Slowly No 10 20-30 Pet Value: 500☼
Ogre Yes Yes Slowly No 10 20-30
Troll Yes Yes Slowly No 10 800-1000
Cyclops Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Ettin Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Minotaur Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Giant Yes Yes Slowly Yes Yes Yes 18 immortal Semi-Mega Beast
Satyr Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes n/a immortal Pet Value: 250☼
Foul Blendec Yes Yes Yes Yes n/a immortal Pet Value: 250☼
Fairy No Yes Yes Yes 18 n/a Pet Value: 10☼
Pixie No Yes Yes Yes 18 n/a Pet Value: 10☼
Harpy No Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 1 immortal Pet Value: 30☼
Blizzard Man Yes Perhaps Slowly No n/a immortal
Nightwing Yes No Yes No n/a immortal Pet Value: 1000☼